Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Welcome to R&R: Revisit & Reflect, a new episode format here on the podcast. We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload) and lots of that information is about mental health and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us, whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation, creating insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior. With these R&R episodes, you’ll reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, starting with today’s conversation from the archive with the inimitable relationship expert Esther Perel. They explore relational ambivalence and how to reignite the spark inside your relationship, and within yourself, inspired by a listener’s question. So, get out your favorite pen and journal and join in this summer reflection. You’ll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of the importance of rituals in maintaining connection amidst life's challengesA new perspective on the impact of external circumstances on anxiety in your relationships.The ability to recognize and respond to your partner's bids for connection.A framework for self-reflection with actionable journaling prompts to enhance intimacy.Journaling Prompts:How do the macro issues of the world shape your love life today? To what degree are you able to give yourself permission for play and pleasure, even as the world feels so hard? What allows you to do that?In the clip, Esther reminds us that if you don’t know how to turn yourself on, there’s nothing your partner can do to turn you on. How are you finding ways to connect to your own aliveness? What are some things you can do this week, just for you, that could reinvigorate your internal spark? This could include engaging with nature, art, food, movement, or play.In this clip, Esther and Dr. Alexandra talk about how for a couple to create an experience together, one partner is the initiator and one is the responder. These roles aren’t fixed, but which role do you do you tend to find yourself in more? What do you like about being in each position, and what’s hard about each of them?“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

The second mailbag episode of the summer is here! Hear Dr. Alexandra’s advice for three listeners from around the world, with three relationship dilemmas: the first is a fellow “Alexandra” who lives in England and is struggling with her blended family. Next, we hear from a listener in Hawaii who is trying to make a difficult decision about their relationship. Finally, Dr. Alexandra answers a question from a listener in the UK who is ready to have a baby…but her boyfriend is not. Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s guidance and submit your own question by following the link below."Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkitOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Shannon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action, channels her outrage over gun violence into meaningful activism. She discusses her transformation from sadness to righteous anger, encouraging others to trust their instincts and step into their purpose. The conversation dives into the complexities of navigating relationships amid societal change, the dual nature of anger, and the importance of emotional support in activism. Shannon also emphasizes that personal empowerment knows no age and inspires listeners to create impactful change in their communities.

We are all connected to folks with disabilities, whether they’re part of our inner circle, or members of our broader community. Unfortunately, there’s a great deal of stigmatization, misunderstanding, and judgement that crops up around disabled folks and their families. Parents of disabled children are traveling on a different path than other parents, and often need more support, but the people around them don’t always know how to provide it. Therapist Amanda Griffith-Atkins joins Dr. Alexandra on this episode to offer guidance to those parents, as well as the people around them. When Amanda’s son Asher was born, she discovered her life's purpose: to help parents of children with disabilities find their stride. She has become a leading expert in helping parents of kids with special needs navigate their emotions, relationships, and parenting, and her book, How to Handle More Than You Can Handle: Caring for Yourself While Raising a Disabled Child, is out in the world today. Amanda and Dr. Alexandra discuss parenting as well as the experience of partners who are raising a disabled child together and what this journey can bring up for couples. There’s so much goodness in this conversation for everyone, whether this is a new topic for you or one that’s near and dear to your heart."Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkitHow to Handle More Than You Can Handle: Caring for Yourself While Raising a Disabled Child by Amanda Griffith-AtkinsGot4titude, support and resources for fathers raising children with disabilitiesOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Listener questions lead to some insightful discussions on relationship struggles. A woman questions how to navigate her feelings after a difficult conversation with a partner. Another listener seeks support after infidelity, exploring the idea of post-traumatic growth. The episode also addresses ambivalence in long-term relationships, pondering whether to stay or move on. Throughout, the importance of supportive connections and effective communication shines through, encouraging listeners to seek guidance and share their experiences.

When family members or friends hold views that we oppose, we can feel stuck. These days, polarization is everywhere, both in our culture at large and within familial and intimate relationships. So often, conversations online feel like a zero-sum game. At the same time, most of us want to live in a world where we can have thoughtful, nuanced conversations with people we don’t see eye to eye with on every issue. In her book, Do You Still Talk to Grandma? When the Problematic People in Our Lives Are the Ones We Love, speaker and teacher Brit Barron offers us a way forward that goes beyond the black and white thinking that’s so characteristic of this time, while also emphasizing the importance of holding fast to our personal boundaries and values. In this conversation, Dr. Alexandra and Brit discuss reminders and a roadmap for cultivating curiosity, humility, and openness, which are essential when it comes to connecting with loved ones we disagree with."Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkitDo You Still Talk to Grandma? When the Problematic People in Our Lives Are the Ones We Love by Brit BarronOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Dr. Adam Dorsay, a licensed psychologist and executive coach, explores the significance of genuine connection in combatting modern anxiety. He emphasizes that true connection transcends mere physical presence, involving emotional vitality. Listeners learn about self-compassion's role in nurturing healthier relationships and the four vital ways humans connect. Dorsay also discusses finding joy in personal connections, the balance between grief and joy, and strategies for nurturing adult friendships, ultimately highlighting that investing in relationships leads to greater fulfillment.

When there’s a struggling person in a family, the system often coalesces around that individual, and while we might imagine these patterns get left behind when kids grow into adults, the dynamic often endures for the long run. Reimagining Love listener Cristina wrote in to Dr. Alexandra from Chicago, asking about how to better handle the challenges of such a situation. She’s the only one in her family who is in therapy, and she is eager to disrupt the dynamic. Cristina wants to stay connected to her sisters, despite the challenges they’ve faced, and her hope is to break longstanding patterns of over-accommodation and resentment while honoring her own needs as well as other family members’. Dr. Alexandra dives into this question with the goal of exploring an empowering therapeutic truth: that when you change your own dance moves, you can transform the entire system. If you’re dealing with something similar, this episode is going to offer you ways forward you may not have experimented yet, that could have the potential to change everything. If you’d like to submit a listener question of your own, you can do so by following the link below."Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkitOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

In the age of modern technology, we have more information about each other than ever before. Sharing locations with our loved ones can make life more convenient, and while at first glance it may seem like a small decision, the choice to share or not to share actually encapsulates so many of the values and tensions that couples face—questions of closeness and privacy, trust and betrayal, safety and mystery. And if you’ve ever had tense conversations around sharing your location using apps like Find My Friends, Life360, or Snap Maps, Dr. Alexandra is going to help you understand why this topic carries more weight than we might realize, and how to navigate through it and make decisions about location-sharing with your partner."Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkitTechnology Safety & Privacy: A Toolkit for Survivors: Safety Net ProjectOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Gretchen Rubin, renowned happiness expert and bestselling author of The Happiness Project, delves into the nuances of personal growth and relationships. She discusses the emotional 'open door phase' for parents as children leave home, balancing self-acceptance with aspirations. Gretchen highlights the power of succinct wisdom through aphorisms to inspire introspection. The importance of community over mere enjoyment in relationships, and the benefits of walking for tough conversations, are insightful themes that promise to enrich listeners' lives.