For many people getting divorced, it's inevitable that you're going to be stuck for a certain period of time, living with your ex.   And yes, that's going to suck. Luckily, we have some insight on the situation that we want to share with you.  This episode is a re air from a few seasons ago. We are coming to you with a FRESH, BRAND NEW episode next week! So take a listen to "When You're Stuck Living with Your Ex" to get your questions answered. Questions like: Can I date other people before I get divorced? Can I spend money on myself and going out if I'm still living with my ex? How will my ex and I figure out kid time? How do I make sure my ex and I are splitting household chores evenly? And friends, we know that divorce is hard. We know it's long and draining.  We are here to help guide you, offer you information, entertainment, and empathy and ultimately, help you not SUCK at getting divorced.  Please rate and reivew our show!! And message us on social, we would love to hear from you!! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce   And join our private communities! https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce - for those needing to listen to our private library http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity - for those looking for community and a place to ask quesitons!

This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponspored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at http://www.betterhelp.com/notsuck and get on your way to being your best self.   We want to help you survive the next few weeks. The holiday season is a stressful time, in the BEST of situations. But if you're also navigating a divorce or considering divorce, then you're managing and extra set of stress and unhappiness that's likely making the next few weeks a really tough time.  Here's how we can help.  Here are 6 pro tips from Morgan and Andrea. You ready for them? Let's go! Set some realistic expectations. Surprises make for more unhappiness. Keep busy.  Prep your family on how to handle themselves around you (tell Aunt Beatrice to not ask you questions)  and possibly your ex. Watch the cheesy holiday movies, we're talking the REALLY cheesy ones, Hallmark channel style. Nothing bad happens in these movies and it makes for great background noise Just say no to parties you don't want to attend. Nobody really cares.  Move your body. It's so damn important. If it's really cold where you live, walk around the mall, or even around a Target.  And please, join our private communites for extra support! Here are the links: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you need to listen to our episodes discreetly (for those of you who aren't ready to file for divorce and don't want this show popping up on your subscription list) https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce FYI: it’s a private community that does have a small fee. $4.99 a month to get all of the episodes discreetly. Ideal for if you don’t want your spouse seeing that you’re listening to the show.  We’re adding to this channel everyday- so soon there will videos there too.  The charge shows up as “Patreon” which is just a platform for additional podcasts.   Also! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. AND, you can get free information on coparenting and handling sticky situations! Head here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Kate Anthony, host of The Divorce Survivial Guide, is chatting with us tonight to offer another tool to help you at the beginning of your divorce process. The "D" Word, a new book out by Kate, will offer you a lot of insight and guidance as you decide, "should I stay or should I go?" Should I stay married for my kids? Does this count as abuse? Why am I so unhappy? What does a healthy relationship even look like? If the above quesitons sound familar to you...go grab a copy of Kate's book.  https://www.amazon.com/Word-Making-Ultimate-Decision-Marriage/dp/0806542357 Our hope is that this conversation helps you feel like someone gets what you're going through. We know that the decision to divorce is not easy. We know that there there are a multitude of emotions that fly through your head and heart and that you likely feel an incredible amount of weight on your shoulders.  Our advice? Talk about these thoughts and feelings. Get your butt in therapy. Start getting honest with yourself about what you want for your life and for your kids' lives. Take responsibility in the role that you play in not only your marraige but also in your life in general.  A now, a word from our sponsors: Treat yourself to the softest sheets this holiday season. Visit http://www.cozyearth.com and use code: HNTSAD to save up to 35% ! Our Family Wizard is here to help make coparenting easier. And if you could use some additional support regarding coparenting, do yourself a favor and sign up for their FREE newsletter: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck And visit Kate Anthony's site to learn more about her podcast and everything else that she has to offer. She's a wealth of support and guidance. https://kateanthony.com And if you need access to our private library, to listen to all of our episodes in the most discreet way, please sign up for our subscription service. http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And our free community over on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity          

"I'm just going to make it through the holidays" "I think I can hang on a little bit longer" "It's just not the right time." There's no good time to get divorced. But there's (of course) a TON of reasons that come into consideration when someone decides when to file. So what should you do when you know you want to leave, but you're not quite ready for divorce?? 1- EDUCATE YOURSELF.  This is your time to gather as much information as possible. Listen to this show, ask questions..join our private communites. 2- TALK TO AN ATTORNEY. In most cases, you don't need to hire someone until you're ready to file, but you should certainly start the interview process. Remember, we suggest you interview 3 attorneys before hiring someone.  3-START PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO MONEY. We're talking about money coming in and money going out. (see our previous episodes about $$ to get more guidance here) 4-THERAPY. Get your butt in therapy. Now. In fact, stop this podcast and go. You deserve support and BTW, so do your kids. In fact, the waitlsits right now for childrens' therapists are INSANE so start doing research now and get on those lists for therapists that would right to help your family. Being proactive vs reactive is ALWAYS the better choice.  What should you NOT do?? 1- Take to social media. Don't change profile pictures or start bringing attention to yourself until you know exactly what you're doing and prepared to answer questions 2- Go spending a ton a money. 3-If you're already in another relationship- DON'T make extravegant purchases or travel plans. Especially depending on the state you live in. And if you are in another relationship, don't conceal this fact from your attorney. You need to have an open and honest relationship with your divorce attorney and they cannot fully support and advise you if they don't know all of the facts.  And if you need more insight and want the most discreet way to listen to this show, join our community on Patreon. This community offers you our entire library of episodes that you can access without needing to suscribe to our show. This channel will also hold bonus interviews and conversations that will help you as you make your decision and support you along the way.  http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce   And now, a word from our Sponsors,  Don't sleep on those old sheets that you shared with your ex, omg, YUCK!! Treat yourself this holiday season with the luxious sheets from Cozy Earth. Vist http://www.cozyearth.com and use code HNTSAD to save up to 35%!!! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Make sure you sign up for their free newsletter at http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

For those of you who are facing the holidays WITHOUT your kids, let us reassure that your feelings dread and sorrow are completely normal. Even if you're feeling mixed emotions, THAT'S completely normal.  It's a dramatic change from how things used to be. It can feel strange...empty...and just plain wrong.  We can promise you this: you WILL get through these holidays...even though they might be challenging.  Listen to this special re- air episode with our friend, Lisa McGregor, to hear her take on what she did to help herself get through those first few years...you hear Andrea weigh in as well- her take is a little different.    And here are some updated action steps from Andrea: Let yourself feel sad. Pretending you're okay when you're not does you no favors. Move your body. We're not asking you to run a mile, but we are asking you to go for a walk. Do something, anything. You don't need to go our and party all night, but grabbing a fresh Starbucks at least gets you out of the house.    And now, a word from our sponsors: Treat yourself to some new sheets, don't sleep on those same sheets you shared with your ex, YUCK. Cozy Earth is all about LUXURY!!  Visit : http://www.cozyearth.com and use code: HNTSAD to save 35%!!! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. Visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to sign up for their FREE newsletter and learn our OFW can help YOU!   Join our private community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you need to listen to our episodes privately: http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce  

**This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponsored by Better Health. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/NOTSUCK and get on your way to being your best self.** Why is it that we don't allow ourselves to grieve the loss of a relationship?? It's time we change that. We are chatting with Rebecca Feinglos, founder of Grieve Leave, an organization that makes grieving death, divorce, job loss, etc more accessible and without the STIGMA.  Rebecca has experience grief of several levels. Yes, she's been through a divorce. She's also lost both of her parents. Her mother died when she was young and her father recently died on the first day of the COVID-19 lockdown. She ended her marriage one year after her father died. So what, actually, is grieving?? How do you grieve? Do you have to grieve? How do you know if you are grieving?? Can you grieve if you wanted the divorce?? (yes, of course) In divorce, we often will grieve the loss of what could have been...the life that we thought we were going to have...   And what about our jobs and bosses understanding how to support you in your grief process?? And while we're on the topic, let's debunk the myth of the "5 Stages of Grief".  Look, friends, this phrase comes from a study that was performed in the 1970's and was centered around cancer paitents.  As it turns out, there are NOT "stages" of grief that you go through and then you magically "finish" the grief process. Sorry... grief is not linear. It's up and down, side to side, and is ongoing. Not everyday will be gutwrentching, but there's not "finish line". And for this reason, Grieve Leave exists. Grieve Leave offers virtual support groups for people managing the grief process. There are many different types of groups and whole lot more insight, guidance and community available. Visit them at: https://www.grieveleave.com .  You can also find them on social media at: http:www.instagram.com/grieveleave And now, a word from our sponsors: Soberlink offers alcohol montitoring in the most discreet way with the highest technology. Visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER (isn't that nice??) Visit http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to get access to their newsletter.   Thanks for being here, friends. Remember, we are here to support you in any way we can. If you are considering divorce and would like to be in our private community to listen to our episodes without downloading them to your device: join us here: http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And if you want to join our free Facebook community, head here: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity    

**This episode is sbrought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/NOTSUCK and get on your way to being your best self.**   Alright, here's the deal. Divorcing someone with a "type 2" personality disorder is NOT a walk in the park. AND there ARE things that you can do to help preserve your sanity... Let's start here: EXPECT IT TO SUCK. That may sound hard, but baby, if your marriage was a shitshow, so will your divorce. It'll be worth it, but it's gonna be a mental and emotional battle. So how do you go into war being as prepared as possible?   Arm yourself BOUNDARIES. Historically, type 2 personalites hate boundaries and rarely respect them, so it's crucial that you put strong ones in place that YOU can enforce. One suggestion that we have is to utilize a coparenting app, specifically, Our Family Wizard. Why? Because this app was designed to help high conflict coparents communicate LESS. Our Family Wizard is an easy to use app that will help you organize your parenting schedule, shared expenses, and even allow you and your ex exchange (what can be) court monitored messages. Now, please keep in mind that just because you use an app like Our Family Wizard DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE ABUSE WILL STOP. That's really important to note. However, using Our Family Wizard will allow you the ability to gain CONTROL. You can even establish the ONE time of day that you have to read (the obnoxious) messages from your ex. It's also the safest way for high conflict coparents to communicate...for those who are in a dangerously contentious situation.    Listen to the words of our guest, family law attorney, Katharine Rupp, who PERSONALLY uses OUR FAMILY WIZARD. This woman literally practices law and she herself has had experience with gaslighting, mental and emotional abuse. You're not crazy. You're not making this up.    You deserve to live a happier and healthier life. You need an exit stradegy. You need a plan. We are here to help you. If you are contemplating divorce and want a private community to ask questions, listen to our episodes WITHOUT them being downloaded to your phone and have access to BONUS conversations with experts,  please join our private group: https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce   This episode is sponsored by Soberlink. If you are concerned about your coparents sobriety during their parenting time, please check out Soberlink :http:www.soberlink.com/notsuck And visit Our Family Wizard and sign up for their newsletter to get some tips and tricks that can make coparenting easier for you. :http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck You've got this. And we've got You.     

How do you know if you hired right divorce attorney for your case? This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is an inside peek into the minds and personalities of the top family law attorneys of New York City.    Introducing:  Michael Calogero https://www.cohenclairlans.com/attorneys/michael-calogero Lois Liberman https://www.blankrome.com/people/lois-j-liberman Nicky Rooz https://selwlaw.com/nicky-rooz/   Any divorce attorney can get you divorced, but who's going to the right person in your corner to help fight for what's most important to you and your children? In you're wondering: Which NYC divorce attorney has the best bedside manner? How do I know if I'm hiring the right divorce attorney? How much do divorce attorneys cost? How long will my divorce take?   Take a listen to this very special episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce! a word from our sponsors...   Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER.  Free tips and guidance for those navigating a challenging coparenting relationship available for our of our listeners, head here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck For more support, join our private community on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity        

If you feel overwhelmed by money, this episode is for YOU. Financial advisor and author of Squeeze the Juice, Jennifer Lee, spends times with us to day to give our listeners some expert tips so that their divorce doesn't ruin them financially.    Here are some tips that can help you with getting a hold of your money: 1: Do a finanicial triage. (already overwhelmed???Jennifer is here to assist our listeners with this process) 2: Don't be an ostrich. (hiding your head in the sand will get you nowhere. Ask questions. Be brave and tell your attorney that you don't have all of the information they're asking you for. Bonus points if you're brave enough to contact Jennifer and ask a financial expert for help!!) 3: Don't give up on your money situation EVEN IF you made financial mistakes during your divorce process. Educate yourself and take BABY STEPS. Get curious about how you can improve your situation.    Jennifer's book, Squeeze the Juice, is a FABULOUS place to start educating yourself. This book is story based, so it helps readers wrap their arms around the lessons. Get it here: Squeeze the Juice Do NOT JUDGE YOURSELF for not knowing EVERYTHING (or anything) about your finances. Just ask for help. Don't leave money on the table.  Our listeners can do a FREE 15 call with Jennifer to see if can help you! https://calendly.com/Jennifermodernwealth   a word from our sponsors Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Sign up for their FREE newsletter to get tips and tricks that can help you coparent better. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck   For more support, join us in our private Facebook community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity    

It's what we all worry about the most in divorce: our kids.  Will my kids be okay after the divorce?  Will my divorce ruin my kids' lives? Is it fair to make my kids live in two houses? ****This is a special re air episode with Dr Randy Heller.  We talk about what's in our control in regards to our childrens' emotional and mental wellbeing during and after the divorce process. There's a lot to digest here, so listen when you have sometime to yourself. Biggest takeway: Your kids will be okay if you are okay. To reach Dr Randy Heller please visit https://familynetworkflorida.com/ For more support with families, check out Our Family Wizard. Our Family Wizard makes communication between coparents easier. Learn more at http://www.ourfamilywizard.com And please, join our private community for more support and guidance. http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity