How Not To Suck At Divorce: Divorce Advice and Relatable Humor
Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
How Not to Suck at Divorce guides anyone who’s divorcing or even just considering divorce. Hosted by Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport, the show delivers equal parts strategy, empathy, and humor.
Morgan Stogsdill is a powerhouse family law attorney and head of family law at the largest firm in the United States. She’s seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport is a comedian, marketing pro, and divorced-then-happily-remarried mom who has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
Our community is loyal, our guests are leaders, and our episodes are packed with value. In short: listening to How Not to Suck at Divorce will help you avoid major divorce mistakes.
We launched this show to fill the gap between “funny but fluffy” podcasts and “useful but soul-crushing” legal jargon. The goal: actionable empathy. With scripts, checklists, and boundaries ready, you’ll make fewer panic decisions and save money, time, and sanity.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert (“Tech Cowboy”), explains how tech evidence, AI hallucinations, and smart device trails can help—or hurt—your case.
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
We curate guests who’ve sat in every chair—lawyers, therapists, digital forensics pros, financial planners, safety advocates, and survivors who turned their mess into a roadmap.
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, DARVO, BIFF vs. gray-rocking, protective orders, tech hygiene.
Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols.
Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.
Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. With 160+ episodes and weekly updates, How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Morgan Stogsdill is a powerhouse family law attorney and head of family law at the largest firm in the United States. She’s seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport is a comedian, marketing pro, and divorced-then-happily-remarried mom who has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
Our community is loyal, our guests are leaders, and our episodes are packed with value. In short: listening to How Not to Suck at Divorce will help you avoid major divorce mistakes.
We launched this show to fill the gap between “funny but fluffy” podcasts and “useful but soul-crushing” legal jargon. The goal: actionable empathy. With scripts, checklists, and boundaries ready, you’ll make fewer panic decisions and save money, time, and sanity.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert (“Tech Cowboy”), explains how tech evidence, AI hallucinations, and smart device trails can help—or hurt—your case.
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
We curate guests who’ve sat in every chair—lawyers, therapists, digital forensics pros, financial planners, safety advocates, and survivors who turned their mess into a roadmap.
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, DARVO, BIFF vs. gray-rocking, protective orders, tech hygiene.
Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols.
Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.
Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. With 160+ episodes and weekly updates, How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Apr 11, 2025 • 1h 2min
148. How Do I Know if I Need a Divorce, or if It’s Menopause/Perimenopause?
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan tackle the often-overlooked topic of how perimenopause and menopause can impact relationships and yep, that's right- divorce. They are joined by Dr. Heather Cushing, an MD who specializes in hormonal health, to discuss the effects of hormonal changes on women's moods, behavior, and marital dynamics. The conversation covers the confusion and frustration many women feel as they experience shifts in their bodies and emotions, which can often be mistaken for relationship problems. Dr. Cushing explains the difference between perimenopause and menopause, the importance of hormone therapy (HRT), and how addressing hormonal imbalances can help women make clearer, more rational decisions during the divorce process.Questions Answered in this Episode:What is the difference between perimenopause and menopause?What symptoms are commonly experienced during perimenopause and menopause?How do hormonal changes affect mood and relationships?How can hormonal changes lead to feelings of irritability and emotional distance in marriages?What should women do if they feel like they are not themselves during perimenopause or menopause?How do hormone imbalances impact decision-making, especially regarding marriage and divorce?What steps can women take to address hormonal issues before making life-changing decisions like divorce?Is hormone therapy a safe and effective treatment for women experiencing perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms?How can men navigate the challenges of supporting a spouse going through hormonal changes?What are the best approaches to take for those who are hesitant to start hormone treatment but want to feel better?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Apr 4, 2025 • 50min
147. Divorce Support for Devout Christians
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the complex relationship between faith and divorce. Our guest, Bree Sullivan-Howell, a family law attorney and author, shares her personal journey and professional insights on navigating divorce when your Christian faith conflicts with the decision to separate. From understanding the Biblical perspective on divorce to overcoming the shame and judgment that often accompanies faith-based divorces, Brie offers a compassionate and practical guide and practical steps tat you CANNOT miss.What you'll learn:The challenges of reconciling religious beliefs with the reality of divorce.How to handle cultural and religious pressures while considering divorce.Actionable steps to take before and during the divorce process, including creating a plan, gathering your documents, and preparing for shifts in your social circles.Insights on how to stay true to your faith while navigating divorce, with examples of how faith can strengthen rather than hinder the process.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Connect with Bree:bree@sullivan-firm.comInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Mar 28, 2025 • 56min
146. Special Needs Children & Divorce (What to do BEFORE You File)
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the complexities of navigating a divorce when you have a child with special or higher needs. We’re joined by Cari Pines, an attorney in LA who specializes in family law and has personal experience with raising special needs children. Cari shares her expertise on how to manage the legal and emotional challenges that come with divorce when your child requires extra care and attention.What you’ll learn:How to communicate effectively with your attorney about your child’s special needsThe importance of gathering information about your child’s diagnosis, behaviors, and needs before you begin the divorce processThe role of a forensic expert and why this might be necessary in some casesPractical advice on managing disputes with your ex regarding your child’s medical care and therapyTips on using tools like Our Family Wizard to keep track of communications and medical expensesHow to take care of yourself while navigating the difficult path of parenting a child with special needs during a divorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Mar 21, 2025 • 1h 15min
145. High Conflict Divorce: How Do You Know if Your Child needs a GAL or AFC??
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we explore the complexities of hiring a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) or an Attorney for the Child (AFC), two roles that are often involved when there are disputes over parenting time or custody. Special guest Randi Karmel, a seasoned attorney based in New York, shares her expert insights on when and why these professionals might be appointed in divorce cases and how they can impact your case.What you’ll learn:The roles and differences between a GAL and an AFC, and how they advocate for children in custody casesHow to determine if you need an AFC or GAL, and the potential impact on your caseThe importance of honesty and transparency when communicating with an AFC or GALKey differences in how these roles work in different states, like New York versus IllinoisHow to prepare for interviews with an AFC or GAL and what to avoid doing during these interactionsOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Mar 17, 2025 • 1h
144. Does Your Divorce Need a Forensic Accountant?
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the world of forensic accountants and when you should—and shouldn't—bring one into your divorce case. Featuring expert Marie Ebersbacher, a senior managing director in forensic consulting, we explore how forensic accountants help uncover hidden assets, value businesses, and track income. We also share some wild, real-life stories, including one about a celebrity hairdresser's murder that has some SERIOUS financial implications! Hit play - you can't miss this one!What you’ll learn:When is it worth hiring a forensic accountant for your divorce?How to spot discrepancies in financial documents (and what to do about them)Real-life stories of financial shenanigans and how they played out in divorce casesTips on saving time and money during your divorce process without going rogueTune in for valuable insights and a little humor to make the divorce process juuuust a bit less overwhelming!Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Mar 7, 2025 • 45min
143. The Best Time vs Worst Time to File for Divorce
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, the hosts discuss the right and wrong times to file for divorce with the help of expert family law attorney Jacqueline Newman. They break down seasonal considerations, personal financial situations, and how to recognize when emotional readiness plays a crucial role in deciding whether or not to take the plunge. Jacqueline shares her professional advice on when to act and when it might be wise to wait, all while offering insight on the emotional, financial, and practical factors that affect the timing of a divorce. The episode highlights how a strategic approach, involving patience and timing, can make a significant difference in the outcome of a divorce case.What Listeners Will Learn:The ideal time to file for divorce (hint: there actually IS an ideal time)Why it's important to wait for a stable financial moment or to avoid filing during difficult life circumstancesHow to determine if you're emotionally and financially prepared for the challenges of divorceThe importance of understanding the business and financial ramifications before making the decision to fileWhy it’s crucial to have a lawyer who asks the right questions to guide you through your divorce strategyPractical advice on navigating emotional and financial hurdles that can arise when thinking about divorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners AND save 20% on their essentials package! www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Feb 28, 2025 • 42min
142. Do I Need a Prenup? (Everything You Need to Know About Prenups to Avoid an Expensive Divorce)
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the world of prenuptial agreements (prenups) and why they might be something to consider for anyone entering a marriage, especially if you're coming into the union with significant assets or wealth. They cover everything from what goes into a prenup, who might need one, and how to navigate the conversation with your partner, to the importance of finding a good lawyer and ensuring fairness in the agreement. They also discuss some of the more unusual clauses that might appear in prenups and share tips on how to approach the topic with your partner in a way that is clear and non-confrontational.The burning questions you'll get answers to:Who typically needs a prenup?Are there any common clauses included in prenups, like those involving children or lifestyle?How much can you expect to pay for a prenup?Should both parties hire separate attorneys when creating a prenup?What should someone look out for if they are served a prenup?When is the best time to start discussing and signing a prenup before marriage?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Feb 19, 2025 • 51min
141. What You Need to Know about Your Divorce Custody Agreement Before You Sign
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive deep into the dreaded parenting plans (also called custody agreements, parenting schedules, or allocation judgments). They break down what really matters in these complex documents, from decision-making on medical care and extracurricular activities to holiday schedules and the right of first refusal.Andrea shares her personal struggles with her own parenting agreement and offers tips on how you can avoid the mistakes she made. Morgan provides expert legal insight on how to negotiate a fair agreement that works for both parents and their kids.What You’ll Learn:The key components of a parenting plan: decision-making, holidays, medical care, and more.Why you need to be proactive and think about how decisions today will impact your future.How to work with your lawyer to create a flexible and fair plan for you and your kids.The importance of compassionate communication and why it's key when negotiating with your ex.Pro tips on how to handle tricky situations like school choice, summer camps, and the right of first refusal.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Feb 10, 2025 • 57min
140. Divorce Anxiety: How to Handle the Inner Chaos and Uncertainty
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the overwhelming fear that often accompanies divorce and its impact on decision-making because lets face it - when we're fearful or scared we are NOT in our right minds. We’re joined by transformational coach Annmarie Chereso, who shares her expertise on how fear affects the brain and behavior during such a challenging time. Annmarie provides practical tools to manage fear, including a four-step method that helps individuals move from a place of fear to empowerment.You will learn:How fear impacts decision-making during a divorce and how to recognize when it is taking controlPractical steps to shift out of fear and into empowerment, including breathing techniques, physical movement, and self-compassionWhy it's crucial not to make decisions when in a heightened emotional state and how to effectively manage fearHow embracing the right mindset can help individuals navigate the emotional challenges of divorce, leading to a more balanced and positive outcomeCLICK HERE to grab the Best Parenting Schedules Advice Workbook Connect with Annmarie:Website: www.annmariechereso.meFree Resource: Out of YOUR Mind and Into Your Body! 5 Day Challenge to reconnect with your intuition and trust yourself: https://annmariechereso.me/trust/Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Jan 31, 2025 • 55min
139. Divorce Deposition PRO TIPS!!!
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we're talking about the often intimidating process of being deposed during a divorce. We break down what a deposition is, how it works, and the importance of preparation to ensure you present yourself as a strong witness. Morgan, a seasoned divorce lawyer, walks listeners through key strategies for handling a deposition, including how to answer questions succinctly, when to ask for a break, and why staying calm is crucial. They also discuss the role of the lawyer in preparing for the deposition, including the importance of honesty, not over-explaining answers, and how to keep your emotions in check, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed or manipulated!In this episode you'll learn:The purpose of a deposition in a divorce case and why it's crucial to the litigation processHow to prepare for a deposition, including working with your lawyer and understanding what questions might come upThe importance of staying calm, professional, and concise during a deposition.Why honesty and control over your emotions can make a significant difference in how you’re perceivedHow to navigate potential emotional triggers, and how to avoid major mistakes like over-sharing or losing your temperOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
