How Not To Suck At Divorce
Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support—not drama, shame, or sugarcoating.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Aug 15, 2025 • 53min
165. Crucial Action Steps When Divorcing an Abusive Partner (And a Story That Will Help You Understand Cohersive Control)
Andrea and Morgan talk with Laura Richards, host of That’s Where I’m At podcast, about navigating divorce when abuse is part of the marriage. Laura shares her story of leaving a relationship that looked perfect from the outside but was filled with covert control, manipulation, and emotional harm behind closed doors. Alongside Laura’s experience, Andrea and Morgan offer practical and legal guidance for protecting yourself during this challenging time.In this episode, you’ll learn:How to identify and safeguard important items, financial records, valuables, and sentimental possessions before they can be taken or hidden.The importance of creating a legally sound safety plan for yourself and your children, even if the abuse has never been physical.Why you should expect the early stages of divorce to be the most difficult, and how to prepare mentally and emotionally for that period.How control can shift during divorce and the subtle ways an ex may try to manipulate or intimidate you.Why having your own attorney matters, even if mediation feels amicable.The role of supportive communities, therapy, and trusted resources in rebuilding your confidence and moving forward.Connect with Laura:Website: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/Podcast: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/episodes/Instagram: @thatswhereimatpodcastOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Aug 8, 2025 • 44min
164. Pre Divorce Action Steps For Leaving An Abusive Marriage (And a Personal Story That Inspired a Blockbuster Movie)
Abuse doesn’t always leave visible scars. If you’re in a marriage where your every move is controlled; whether it’s how you spend money, where you go, or who you see, you may be experiencing abuse without realizing it.In this episode, we’re giving you the 3 critical steps to take before you leave an abusive marriage, straight from a divorce lawyer’s perspective. Then, you’ll hear a riveting, eye-opening conversation with Dr. Nadine Macaluso—therapist, trauma-bond expert, and former wife of Jordan Belfort, the infamous “Wolf of Wall Street.”Dr. Nadine shares:How coercive control and trauma bonds keep people trappedThe truth about love bombing, cognitive dissonance, and the cycle of abuseWhat really happened behind the Hollywood portrayal of her marriageHow she rebuilt her life, earned her doctorate, and now helps others break freeWhether your situation mirrors hers or not, the insight and strategies in this episode could save you time, money, and possibly your safety.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Aug 1, 2025 • 46min
163. The Smartest Way to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Jul 25, 2025 • 27min
162. What the #1 Divorce Podcast Wants You to Know
In today's episode, Andrea sits down (sans Morgan! She's out of the country!) to drop some real talk about the hard truths of divorce that no one wants to hear...but everyone needs to. From AI misinformation to expensive attorney mistakes, high-conflict communication, and the emotional fallout of lost friendships, this episode delivers clarity and comfort for anyone navigating the messy middle of divorce.As always...Absolutely NO fluff. No filter. Just the truth. And a whole lot of support.What You’ll Learn:Why you should NEVER EVER use Chat GPT for divorce adviceHow to stop chasing “fair” and start playing smartWhat to ask your lawyer before litigation (and how to prep your mindset)Why calming your nervous system is the most powerful legal tool you haveHow to protect your wallet when communicating with your attorneyWhat to do when your friendships shift during your divorceMentioned Episodes:How to Prepare for a Divorce Battle with Mia PoppeAI, ChatGPT, and Divorce: What You Need to Know with Steven BradleyOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Jul 18, 2025 • 40min
161. How to Use Chat GPT in Your Divorce and How NOT to Use it
AI might be your late-night bestie, but should it be your divorce attorney? In this candid and insightful episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea welcome back crowd-favorite and former FBI agent Steven Bradley aka the Tech Cowboy to bust myths, deliver tough truths, and provide essential clarity around using AI like ChatGPT during divorce. From legal hallucinations to cringeworthy court moments, this episode will change how you think about AI’s role in your case (and possibly your life). Tune in to learn how to use these tools wisely without risking your custody case, or your dignity.What You’ll Learn:Why ChatGPT is not designed for divorce or legal advice, and how it can backfireWhat “AI hallucinations” are and why they matter in courtHow Our Family Wizard’s ToneMeter AI actually protects youSimple rules for using AI safely (and legally) during divorceThe difference between closed AI and open AI and why it matters for your caseQuestions Answered in This Episode:Can ChatGPT really help you with your divorce?Why is it risky to input personal info into open AI tools?What’s the legal fallout of using AI-generated legal documents in court?How can co-parents use AI responsibly when emotions are high?Is there any safe way to get help from AI during divorce?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Jul 11, 2025 • 57min
160. Preparing for Divorce/Custody Battle- What to Ask Your Attorney, How to Prep..
In this powerhouse episode, Andrea and Morgan welcome powerhouse attorney and metaphysical strategist Mia Poppe to help listeners emotionally and mentally prepare for the courtroom. Mia shares her toolkit for staying grounded during the most difficult moments of divorce—especially when “divorce psychosis” sets in. This raw, honest, and practical episode is packed with real-life strategies for surviving and thriving through litigation.What You’ll Learn:What “divorce psychosis” is and why it’s a temporary but very real stateHow to protect your peace when litigation gets nastyTactical steps to handle inflammatory messages from opposing counselWhy emotional intelligence matters more than money in courtHow meditation and mindset work can transform your case and your lifeOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Connect with Mia Poppe:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miapoppe.esq/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/miapoppe/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@nylawsaWebsite: https://www.miapoppe.com/Join the free community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1399345284195177Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Jul 4, 2025 • 49min
159. I Should Have Gotten Divorced Before I Got Married: An Inspirational Divorce Story
In this episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Heather McGinley, Emmy award-winning author and founder of The Happily Never After, shares her powerful story of growing up in a fundamentalist Christian family with 21 siblings and how her unconventional upbringing shaped her approach to relationships and divorce. She discusses the mistakes she made during her divorce process, including not interviewing multiple attorneys and failing to file for temporary support, while offering hope that life's most difficult endings can lead to beautiful new beginnings.What You'll HearHeather's shocking revelation about growing up as the eldest of many children in a "quiverfull" fundamentalist Christian household (hit play to find out HOW many siblings 👀)How religious trauma and purity culture affected her ability to form healthy relationshipsThe moment her therapist helped her realize she had shut down emotionally as a survival mechanismWhy she says she "should have gotten divorced before getting married"Her biggest mistakes during the divorce process, including financial decisions that cost her $20,000Her experience working as a producer on Oprah's show and the valuable lessons about intentionThe "bathroom floor" moments during divorce and how to get through themHow divorce became the catalyst for her personal growth and ability to love authenticallyQuestions Answered in This EpisodeHow does childhood trauma affect relationship choices in adulthood?What are the biggest mistakes people make when hiring a divorce attorney?When should you file for temporary spousal support during divorce proceedings?How do you know when it's time to get divorced?Why does divorce often get harder before it gets better?What should be on your divorce support team?How can you maintain hope during the darkest moments of divorce?What role does personal growth play in the divorce process?How do you move from surviving to thriving after divorce?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Jun 27, 2025 • 58min
158. Take Back Power. Overcome Divorce Fear.
Fear. It’s the uninvited guest in every divorce and today, we’re dragging it into the light. Andrea and Morgan sit down with Crazy Ex-Wives Club host Erica Bennett, whose own divorce journey turned from heartbreak and confusion into a masterclass in emotional self-preservation. Erica shares how fear nearly derailed her decisions, how she clawed back her confidence, and why your fear is lying to you. From psychic readings to the art of “future tripping,” this episode is packed with hard truths, solid strategies, and a big reminder that you are not alone in the chaos.What you’ll learn: • Why fear is a terrible advisor during divorce • How to identify fear-based thinking before it tanks your decisions • The problem with “future tripping” and how to stop it • Tips to reset your nervous system when you’re spiraling • What really happens during trial separations (and why they often backfire) • The emotional cost of being “too nice” during divorce • How to keep your kids at the center and not the middle of co-parenting • Tools for managing communication when your ex checks out • Why shared custody must come with accountability • How Erica rebuilt her life and happiness post-divorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Jun 20, 2025 • 42min
157. The Biggest "Pre Divorce" Mistakes And How to Avoid Them
Andrea and Morgan are diving deep into the emotional rollercoaster of pre-divorce decisions, from trial separations and nesting, to financial agreements and moving out. With personal stories, expert legal insight, and a healthy dose of humor, this episode is a must-listen for anyone standing at the edge of a marital crossroads. Whether you’re considering divorce or simply feeling unsettled, this episode will help you think three steps ahead and avoid the most common (and very costly) mistakes.What you’ll learn:Why trial separations may backfire (especially if kids are involved)The pros and serious cons of nesting during separationHow moving out early can hurt your case without proper legal strategyWhy unofficial financial deals are a huge red flagWhat to do instead: safe, strategic first moves to protect yourselfOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Jun 13, 2025 • 28min
156. How to Manage the Most Common Forms of Divorce Manipulation
When manipulation sneaks into your divorce, it’s not just annoying, it’s super dangerous. In this candid episode, Andrea and Morgan teach you how to spot the most common manipulation tactics used before and during divorce, and how to stop falling for them. With the unforgettable acronym WTF (Want, Three Steps Ahead, Facts), they walk you through real scenarios, including guilt-tripping about the kids, controlling family finances, and “let’s not use lawyers” setups. Plus, Andrea shares a personal story that inspired the entire conversation complete with a tribute to her late grandmother, the original queen of no-BS.What you’ll learn:The WTF method: Want, Three Steps Ahead, and FactsHow pre-divorce manipulation keeps you stuck (and what to do)Why “we don’t need lawyers” is a massive red flagGuilt tactics involving kids, family, and moneyHow to shut down drama without escalating conflictThe emotional and financial cost of being reactiveHow to think like a chess player, not a punching bagOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
