How Not To Suck At Divorce
Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support—not drama, shame, or sugarcoating.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.
How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you divorce guidance that only the really wealthy can afford.
Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. Together, we’ve built a podcast that blends courtroom-level insight with compassionate, practical moves you can use the second the episode ends.
What We Cover
Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.
Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)
The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.
Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert
Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.
That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.
Who You’ll Hear
Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.
Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.
Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.
Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.
Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.
Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.
You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Jan 3, 2025 • 32min
136. How Do I Know if it's Time to Get Divorced?
In this episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Andrea and Morgan talk about the tough question of whether to stay or go in your marriage. They walk you through the simple but powerful TALK acronym to help you gain clarity and confidence as you make this big decision in your life. They cover how therapy can help you unpack what's going on, the importance of understanding your emotional needs, how to assess the fun and love in your relationship, and why knowledge is key to moving forward. These steps are designed to guide you through this challenging time and help you make the best decision for yourself and your family. You deserve happiness, and we're here to help you get there.What you'll learn in this episode: How therapy can help unpack the underlying issues in your marriage and provide clarity on whether to stay or goThe importance of assessing your emotional needs and understanding if they're being met in your relationshipHow to evaluate the level of fun, love, and connection in your marriage, and what to do if those things are lackingWhy gaining knowledge about the divorce process and talking to professionals can empower you to make informed decisionsHow following the simple TALK acronym can help guide you through the tough decision-making process and lead to a healthier, happier outcome for you and your familyOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Dec 27, 2024 • 41min
135. When Your Kids Don't Want to Go To the Coparent's House (Divorce Tips)
In this episode of How Not To Suck at Divorce, we are talking about what so many divorced parents struggle with—kids who resist going to the other parent’s house. We talk about why this happens and offer actionable tips for managing these tough transitions. It’s completely normal for kids to feel conflicted, and in this episode, we break it down and share ways to make those transitions smoother.We dig into the "EASE" acronym (you'll have to hit play to find out what this is if you don't know) to give you a simple framework for communicating with your child during these moments. We also talk about why setting boundaries is key and how to do it in a way that doesn’t make your child feel torn between parents.In this episode, you'll learn: How to show empathy for your child's feelingsThe importance of setting boundaries and maintaining a calm demeanor during difficult transitionsHow to document issues related to child transitions, especially if they become an ongoing concernHow to communicate clearly with your co-parent, and when it’s necessary to seek legal advice if the issues persistNo doubt, this sucks. But you got this, and we got you!Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Dec 21, 2024 • 48min
134. Divorcing Over the Holidays Sucks. (Emotional Support)
In this episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, we dive into handling the tough emotions that can arise during the holiday season when you're going through a divorce. We know it’s not easy, and we’ve got your back! In this episode, you'll learn how to:Embrace the sadness – Don’t fight it. We talk about why feeling sad is totally normal and how pushing those feelings down will only make them linger longer.Move your body – It doesn’t have to be anything intense, but a little walk can go a long way in helping clear your mind and improve your mood.Shift your focus – Find a project, something to get your hands on, like a craft or home project, to take your mind off the stress and give you a sense of accomplishment.Get out there – Even if it's just for a short time, saying yes to an invite and getting dressed can help break the isolation and give you a sense of normalcy.So, if the holidays are feeling heavy or you’re just struggling to cope, listen in for some practical tips and support to make it through. We get it – divorce is a marathon, not a sprint, and we’ve got you every step of the way.Links to the amazing products discussed in episodes:Jouer Under Eye BalmWomen's Heated VestMen's Heated VestFlameless Candle lighterVuori (how do you pronounce this?!)Spanx Air EssentialsMorgan’s Wreath Making YouTube Channel: (just kidding, but follow us on YouTube!)Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Dec 11, 2024 • 49min
133. Could You Save Time and Money with a Collaborative Divorce?
In today’s episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive deep into the collaborative divorce process with Lucia Levias, a family law attorney specializing in this approach. We discuss what collaborative divorce is, how it differs from traditional litigation, and whether it might be the right choice for your situation. Lucia shares the benefits of this process, including cost savings and a more peaceful resolution, while also addressing who is best suited for this approach and the potential pitfalls to watch out for.In this episode, you'll learn:The basics of collaborative divorce and how it worksHow collaborative divorce can potentially save you money compared to traditional litigationWhat professionals are involved in a collaborative divorce and how they support the processWhen a collaborative divorce may or may not be right for youHow to approach your spouse about considering a collaborative divorceThe importance of being aligned with your spouse for this process to succeedReal-life examples of how collaborative divorce can help resolve tough issues like spousal support and parenting plansLucia's website: https://duboislaw.net/Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Nov 30, 2024 • 1h 1min
132. Handle Your Divorce Like a Boss Bitch
In this episode, we're joined by Sarah Armstrong, author of A Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce, to discuss the importance of compartmentalizing during the divorce process. Divorce is emotionally draining, and the ability to compartmentalize can help you navigate it more effectively—especially when emotions run SUPER high. Sarah shares her personal journey through divorce and how she learned to compartmentalize to keep her focus on what really mattered: her daughter, her career, and making the best decisions for the long term. And oh - she's the VP of global marketing operations, at Google...yep!What you'll learn:The importance of compartmentalizing during divorce and how it can help you make better decisionsHow to manage emotional triggers and not let them dictate your actionsPractical steps for compartmentalizing, such as taking a breath and giving yourself time to cool down before reactingThe power of focusing on the long game and making decisions that are best for you and your kidsHow Sarah used her compartmentalization skills to balance her career at Google, motherhood, and her personal life post-divorceIf you're feeling overwhelmed by the emotional rollercoaster of divorce, this episode will give you the tools to regain control and make decisions that serve YOU and your kids in the long run. Whether it's deciding when to show emotion or learning to take a step back during tense moments, Sarah’s insights are invaluable for anyone navigating the difficult journey of divorce and we're here for it - and we're here for you, too!Connect with Sarah:Sarah's website: https://www.gooddivorce.guideSarah's book: A Mom's Guide to a Good DivorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Nov 15, 2024 • 45min
131. (This One is Juicy) Divorce Confessions...Including Andrea's..
Yep, divorce confessions! We're talking real moments that often come up during divorce! We share anonymous confessions and are here to remind you that divorce can make you feel like you're losing your mind, but you're not alone.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why it’s totally normal to have wild, irrational thoughts during divorce (and you’re not crazy)How to protect yourself legally when things get out of controlThe importance of having a legal team you can trust, especially if criminal behavior is involvedWhy you should absolutely NOT write your kids a letter explaining your divorceWhy giving into the urge to stalk or harass your ex can make everything worseWhat to do when you’re overwhelmed and just want to pack your shit and leaveNo matter how crazy things feel right now, you’re not losing it. You'll feel that in this episode!Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Nov 8, 2024 • 56min
130. How to Mentally Prepare for Your Divorce
Therapist Hilary Rosenberg returns to share her expertise on mental preparation for divorce. She emphasizes the critical need to grieve the end of a marriage and the importance of emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual care during this challenging time. Hilary also highlights the significance of assessing mental health needs, establishing a supportive social circle, and taking actionable steps to envision a healthier future. Her strategies provide listeners with the tools to navigate their transition with clarity and strength.
Nov 2, 2024 • 45min
129. A New Divorce Tool to Help You with Parenting Schedules
In this episode, we're diving into the difficult and emotional topic of creating a custody schedule. Whether you’re just beginning the divorce process or in the thick of it, figuring out the best arrangement for your children while managing your own emotions can feel overwhelming. We’re here to help you break it down, with guidance from family law attorney and mediator Rebecca Parra. Rebecca brings a wealth of experience in creating custody plans and offers practical tools to help you make the best decisions for your family.In this episode, we answer questions like:What are the biggest challenges parents face when creating a custody plan?How can the new Custody Navigator tool help visualize and plan your custody schedule?What creative custody arrangements can be used for non-traditional work schedules?How do factors like child support affect custody agreements?What can you expect from mediation, and how can it help you come to a peaceful resolution?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Oct 26, 2024 • 40min
128. Is Your Divorce Driving You to Drink Too Much?
In this episode, we explore the relationship between alcohol and divorce, diving into how exactly how drinking impacts your emotional state, decision-making, and overall well-being during one of life’s most challenging times. This episode IS NOT about giving up drinking completely; it’s about understanding when alcohol is helping or hurting as you navigate the divorce process.In this episode, you'll learn:-What actually happens in your brain when you drink to cope with stress?-How do you know if you're drinking for the wrong reasons?-What are the warning signs that you’re blowing past your emotional "stop signs"?-What action steps can you take to keep your relationship with alcohol in check during a divorce?Our guest, Colleen Kachmann, known as the "Hangover Whisperer," is a recovery-certified master coach and an expert in alcohol use awareness. She shares science-backed insights on the impact of alcohol on the body and mind during stressful periods and offers practical advice on mindful drinking.Remember, this episode is here to guide you without judgment—only support. Whether you decide to drink less, stay mindful, or seek more support, we’re here to help you navigate this journey in the healthiest way possible.Connect with Colleen: Website: https://www.colleenkachmann.com/Instagram: @thehangoverwhispererTiktok: @hangoverwhispererOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Oct 18, 2024 • 51min
127. The C Word: Custody (The Unavoidable Part of Divorce)
In today’s episode, we’re tackling one of the toughest realities of divorce: custody. Custody arrangements can feel unnatural, overwhelming, and emotional. Deciding when and how much time you spend with your children after a divorce is never easy, but it’s an unavoidable part of the process. In this episode, we break down how to handle custody agreements, how to mentally prepare for time away from your kids, and what you need to know to navigate this difficult terrain.We share personal insights and experiences, including the pain of feeling like you’re “having your cake and eating it too” and how to come to terms with these challenging decisions. Special guest Heather Quick, founder of the Florida Women’s Law Group, joins us to explain how custody laws have changed in Florida and what that means for parents.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why custody arrangements can feel so unnatural and how to start accepting this new reality.How the new Florida custody law that assumes 50/50 time-sharing affects parents.The importance of planning for holidays, summers, and unexpected changes in parenting plans.How to prioritize your children's needs while managing your own emotions and mental health.Why you need to think long-term when negotiating custody agreements.We answer the questions:What do you do when you just can’t agree to 50/50 custody?How do you plan custody arrangements for holidays and summers?What are some real-life examples of custody agreements that work (and don’t work)?Is it really possible to modify a custody plan later?How do you start emotionally preparing for time away from your kids?Whether you're in the middle of a custody battle, preparing for it, or just want more insight into how to handle this part of divorce, this episode will give you the perspective and tools you need to navigate this tough chapter with more clarity. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you!Connect with Heather:Website: https://www.floridawomenslawgroup.com/Tune in to learn how you can handle these difficult decisions without losing your sanity (or your dignity).Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
