How do you prepare if your divorce case is heading to trial? What are the steps that occur BEFORE your case heads to trial? What's the the difference between a trial and a hearing? What happens in pre trials/mini trials?? It's important that your attorney gives you realisitc expectations so that you know what a postive outcome would be, and what a "less than ideal" outcome would be. This way, you can be mentally and emotionally prepared. And remember, whereas we don't recommend switching attorneys right before you head into trial, but you CAN hire an attorney for an hour of their time to review your case. Meaning, if you want a second set of eyes on the results of your pre trial hearing- you can and should do that! It's money well spent. And if you do this, go with a good attorney- spend a little extra and get the best of the best to review your case. It will be money well spent.  3 Action Steps YOU can take to help you best prepare for trial: Know the risk/reward If you have a trial set- ask your attorney to prep with you (how to answer questions, etc) Ask for a plan for a trial (know what to expect!) And please excuse Andrea's cough...she's still recovering from Bronchitis. And send in your self care tips for both girls...they can use them! And now, a word from our sponsors: Soberlink offers peace of mind for coparents if there's a concern of alcohol use during parenting time. Visit: www.soberlink.com/notsuck Our family wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Check them out to see if Our Family Wizard can help you. Visit: www.ourfamilywizard.com We know that heading into trial is already a less than ideal situation. If your case is heading to trial and you want a second set of eyes on your case, reach out to get some names of attorneys to review your case. We're happy to help.  Join our private community for more support. www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you're enjoying our show, we would SO APPRECIATE a 5 star rating and review! The ratings and reviews help us book the expert guests you deserve. We love and appreciate every single one of you. Thank you for allowings us into your homes/cars/minds/hearts. You've got this and we've got you!

Introducing: The Real Divorce Attorneys series- a spin off of How Not to Suck at Divorce.  This series offers an exclusive sneak peek into the minds and personalites of family law attorneys to help you discover who might be the right fit for you. Today, we are introducting you to 4 of Chicago's TOP divorce attorneys. This episode gets crazy, so buckle up! And if you're already midway through your divorce process...or not in the Chicago area, fear not, this episode will give you a fresh prespective on your case, and probably make you laugh! We're covering: How much money will my divorce cost me? How long will my divorce take? Who's the best divorce attorney in Chicago? Best attorney in Chicago to counter a narcissist? To reach out to the attorneys you heard on today's episode, head here: Brian Blitz: https://www.bergerschatz.com/attorneys/brian-j-blitz/ Melissa Caballero Dunn: https://www.merelfamilylaw.com/attorneys/melissa-caballero-dunn/ Jessica Interlandi: https://www.sdflaw.com/team/detail/Jessica-bank-interlandi/bio Scott Kramer: https://www.gmrfamilylaw.com/scott   And make sure you check out Our Family Wizard if you need extra support with coparenting. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com   Join our private community for more insight and community! http:www.facebook.com/thehownotosuckatdivorcecommunity

  Did you know there's an actual process that helps unhappy couples decide whether divorce is the right move??? We are releasing this re-air episode today because it's important to talk about options. Divorce is NOT the answer for every couple, and a lot of you are wondering, "is divorce right for me?" So, sit back, have an open mind...and take a listen.  ***************************************************************************************** Would you benefit from Discernment Counseling? This week, we find out. The founder of discernment counseling, Dr. Bill Doherty, joins us on the podcast. Not only did Dr. Doherty develop a specific type of counseling for couples where one is considering divorce, he's also been on Oprah not just once, but twice! From Harpo to How Not To Suck At Divorce, Dr. Doherty is moving up in the world, that's for sure. Discernment counseling is when one person is leaning OUT of the relationship and considering divorce and the other person is leaning IN and wants to try to make things work. This type of counseling gives people clarity and confidence based on a deeper understanding of what has happened in the marriage. Dr. Doherty answers the questions: What is discernment counseling? Does discernment counseling solve problems in the marriage? What are the differences between couples therapy and discernment counseling? How long is discernment counseling? What are the three paths of discernment counseling? How do I know if we should try couples therapy or discernment counseling?   Stay until the end because Dr. Doherty blows the lid off traditional therapy and tells us he favorite type of wine (you won't believe his answer).    You can find Dr. Bill Doherty and search for a local discernment counselor at discernmentcounselors.com.   Please hit the 5 stars in your podcast app, we need the external validation, but more importantly, it helps our podcast show up in searches so we can help those who are struggling through the divorce process.    Remember, you got this and we got you.   Slide into our dms, we love hearing from you! @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

***Listen carefully to learn what MUST go in your parenting agreement!! This is a special re air from a few seasons ago!   Shana Tova to those who celebrate!   *********   This is no episode for babies (no offense, babies). We're getting into some real, REAL stuff in this episode. This is one of the biggest concerns our listeners have so we wanted to dedicate an entire episode to how to put your kiddos first in your parenting agreement. Today, we have therapist Dr. Malissa Tigges with us to talk about how to create a parenting agreement that prioritizes the welfare of your kids. Dr. Tigges is a licensed clinical and forensics psychologist with over 10 years of experience working as a psychotherapist and an evaluator. She helps people make the best decisions possible when developing their parenting agreements. Dr. Tigges, Morgan and Andrea answer: What do divorcing couples need to understand when putting together their parenting agreement? How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children. The biggest mistake divorcing couples make when creating their parenting agreement. What is the main difference of a parenting plan that involves a younger child vs. a teenager? Can you modify a parenting agreement? Who should you consult with to ensure your parenting agreement is the best for your child? Should you open the parenting agreement email after having a few drinks? What is co-parenting therapy and is it necessary? What do you do when your rights are being violated during the divorce process when you're drafting the parenting agreement? What's the best schedule for co-parenting? 50/50? Week on, week off? Every other weekend? The answer may upset you, but it's important to understand. Is there wiggle room in a parenting agreement if there's a special trip or long weekend planned? Dr. Tigges also shares her absolute "must-dos". Here is where you can connect with Dr. Tigges: @drmalissatigges on instagram, tiktok and facebook Dr. Tigges is licensed in Florida but if you're not in Florida, your state may allow you to do telehealth with Dr. Tigges so if you need guidance, reach out! OBSESSED: This week Andrea is obsessed with a non-medicated inhaler that has been scientifically proven to calm anxiety. It's called CalmiGo. It measures how much air you exhale and will vibrate when you exhale properly to help you regulate your breathing. It helps Andrea feel more grounded and has made her realize how shallow she typically breathes during the day. It's genius. CalmiGo sent the inhaler to Andrea after she posted the instagram reel of the time she was in the hospital for a panic attack. But please know, we do not recommend products just because we got one free. We will only recommend products we truly love and use.  And this is one of those, for sure. If you go to Andrea's IG and click the link in her bio, you'll get a $30 off coupon. Don't miss the very end of the episode because we talk about how it has just been discovered that honey bee venom can kill breast cancer cells. Amazing! There's also a new study on a possible cure for lupus and other autoimmune diseases AND, new developments on slowing the progression of Alzheimer's. We love ending the show with some positivity :) To our one listener in Honduras, we see you and adore you. Thank you for being here with us. xo We'd love to know what you think of the show! Please email us at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com or dm us at: @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago You can also reach out to us through our website: www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com We read every message and reply personally because our community means the world to us and we want you to know we're here for you. You got this and we got you.

WOW. This episode is powerful.  If you're new to our show, welcome. On How Not to Suck at Divorce, we walk you through the divorce process from "I think I want a divorce" to "I'm divorced, now what?!" and EVERYTHING that happens between. For many of us, our divorce comes with a "healthy" dose of trauma. Now, this term is certainly a buzz word right now that's often misused, so listen closely as our special guest, trauma therapist, Lauren Auer, digs into what trauma really is and how you can begin to heal from it. Heard the phase, "the issue's in the tissues"? Well, that's becuase trauma tends to make a little home in our bodies and gets so damn comfortable that it doesn't want to leave. For this reason, traditional talk therapy doesn't always "do the trick" to subside the symptoms of trauma...(more on thse symptoms in the episode!). Techniques like EMDR and Brainspotting can be quite helpful will working through a trauma block. On this episode, Lauren walks Andrea through a brainspotting exercise and it's...powerful.   This episode will help you learn some tricks that you can apply EASILY to help yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and panic, as a result from trauma. To reach Lauren and learn more about her services, you can find her here: https://steadfastcounseling.com And to find her on IG to watch her viral reels and techniques, head here: https://instagram.com/steadfastcounseling   And now, a word from our sponsors... If your coparent is adding to the TRAUMA in your day, then friend, please check out Our Family Wizard. At Our Family Wizard, they strive to make coparenting easier...even for the biggest PIA cases. https://www.ourfamilywizard.com   We are here for you. You can do this. Come join our community.  https://www.facebook.com/thehownotosuckatdivorcecommunity

Morgan is sick tonight but Andrea is holding down the fort over here at How Not to Suck at Divorce headquarters and joining her are the hosts of the Dirty Laundry podcast, Amanda Silver and Alex Howard. Amanda and Alex are both mediators in Toronto and they blow Andrea's mind on this episode with all of the wild ways that Canadian divorces are different than divorces here in the United States. Did you know that Canadians must have a period of separation before even filing for a divorce? And if you've ever googled: Are attorney assisted divorces as common in Canada as it is in the United States? What does mediation look like in Canada? How long does a divorce process take in Canada? What's the role of a mediator in Canada? Do Canadians really love maple syrup that much? Then you FOR SURE want to take a listen to this episode! If you're in the Toronto area and Amanda and Alex caught your attention (and we're sure they did) here's how you can reach them!!  http://www.midtownmediation.ca  To reach Alex https://www.foresthillmediation.com To reach Amanda   And if you needing more support with your difficult coparent, we got you! Go check out our friends at Our Family Wizard. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com   See you guys next week! (and don't worry, Morgan will be back!!)      

Spolier Alert: If you don't want to hear about life after divorce, this episode is NOT for you. What happens if you meet someone you really love after being divorced?  At what point to decide to blend your lifes? And what about the kids??   We need a roadmap on blending familes. How to do it. When to do it. How to have the right coversations. Who to have those conversations with and when do you have them....and the list goes on! On this very special episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we are talking all things blending families (for a very special reason, which you'll hear about in the episode). To help us navigate these waters, we brought in blending families expert, Mr Ron Deal. (or as we call him, "Ron BIG Deal").  Ron has written NINE books on the subject, and let me tell you, this guy is the REAL DEAL...not just the "big deal"!! This episode will teach you the magic of making stew. Family stew, that is. (more on that in the episode) If you've ever wondered if it's possible to blend families with children of different ages, this episode is for you.   If you're feeling anxious about getting remarried because you're wondering how your kids will reaact, this episode is for you.   Listen, lean back, take a breath, and learn. To find Ron online and his library of books, head here :http://smartstepfamilies.com   To join our private communites, check us out here: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity   Sending you all so much love and hope for what's possible!  

You've got questions and we've (err, Morgan) has answers! We're covering supervised visits, attorneys not prioizing your case, nesting, mediation, and how to talk to your kids, and feeling like an a$$hole for wanting to leave an unhappy marriage but not neccassrily a "bad" marriage...   To recap one of the most common questions, which has to do with wanting a clear game plan from your attorney, follow these steps: 1) Ask your attorney for a face to face or at least a phone call to discuss the PLAN 2) At the end of the meeting, ask for a recap with next steps3) Ask for a realistic timeline and the areas where waiting for a court date/hearing back from opposing counsel could play a role into said timeline 4)Ask when you should follow up   So if you've wondered "am I terrible person for wanting a divorce?" or "how can I make sure my ex doesn't get unsupervised visits with my kids?" Or if you've googled, "How can I get my divorce attorney to care about my case?" or "Should I try nesting?" then you want to listen to this episode.   And remember this, whereas it's not criminal to be unhappy in your marriage, it IS criminal to REMAIN unhappy in your marriage. Look at your feelings. Look at your thoughts. Explore those.  Talk to your partner, go to therapy and WORK towards happiness, whether that's getting a divorce or not.    And now, a word from our sponsors:   Soberlink is here to help coparents who are struggling with an alcohol dependence. It's a discreet device that can ensure that you are parenting safely. Vist:soberlink.com/notsuck And Our Family Wizard is a revolutionary coparenting app that's dedicated to making coparenting easier, no matter how hard your ex SUCKS. Visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com   And join our private communites! http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com to listen to our episodes without it being downloaded to your device and http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity for support and laughs!   You've got this and we've got YOU.  

It's our freaking 75th episode!!! So let's talk about mortgages, baby!   We've got Sam Sharp, celebrity mortgage broker, here to give you insider information on interest rates, credit scores..and everything you need to know regarding refinancing or getting a brand new mortgage. So if you're wondering why interest are so damn high right now, this episode is for YOU! How important is your credit score?? Well, no shocker that it's VERY important. Make sure you listen to this episode to learn what you can do to improve your score. (and did you know that a credit score for a mortgage is different from a regular credit score??) Listen to the experts, don't DIY this stuff! All of our US listeners are welcome to reach out Sam, you can find him here: http://www.samsharp.com http://www.instagram.com/samsharp_guaranteedrate Meanwhile, Andrea is OVER her fatass, her words!! But what's with our butts growing with age??? Jeez, like we don't have enough problems!! And now, a word from our sponsor: Our Family Wizard is here to help you STOP TEXTING YOUR EX. No more more fighting on the phone over money issues or parenting time problems!! Go check our Our Family Wizard! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com Join our private communites! To listen to our episodes without having them downloaded to your device, head over to patreon! http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com And come hang out with us in our free Facebook community! Get more knowledge, more insight and more laughs http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Well, here the F we go.  The 5 biggest mistakes I (Andrea) made during my divorce. Mistake #1: Marrying the wrong person. Ignoring ALL of the red flags. Ignoring my gut. HUGE mistake. Mistake #2: Not having the right tools to think LOGICALLY, therefore functioning from a sheer emotional place Mistake #3: Hiring the wrong attorney for my case Mistake #4: Signing a parenting agreement without consulting a child therapist Mistake #5: Not having realistic expectations   This is a big episode. As uncomfortable as it is to be this vulnerable, it's more important that everyone know the mistakes that are SO easy to make that can cost you money, time with your kids, and a lot of mental sanity. One mistake that I DIDN'T make was recogizing that my mental health was suffering towards the end of the divorce and that the "juice wasn't with the squeeze" on several issues...walking away and being done CAN be right decision for many in the divorce process. However, you ALWAYS want to follow the guidance of your attorney. Which is why ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO HIRING THE RIGHT ATTORNEY FOR YOUR CASE!   Don't forget, the first person to DM us from this episode gets a homemade chocolate chip banana bread (Morgan's fav) shipped right to their door!! (US and Canada listeners only!...sorry to our 1 listener in Honduras, but we still love you) Lean on us. We're here to get you through this mess. And so are our sponsors. Need help with alcohol monitoring during parenting time? Soberlink has your back.  http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Want to make coparenting a whole lot easier? Check out Our Family Wizard. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com   Join our private communites. If you need to listen to our episodes WITHOUT them being uploaded to your familes' icloud, join our Patreon community for private listening AND bonus episodes. http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com And please join our free support group! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity   We love you guys! See you next week.