How Not To Suck At Divorce: Divorce Advice You Need To Hear

In this episode: Andrea, Morgan, and James Quigley dive into the world of divorce and family law, AND  contempt of court. Listen to get some strategies for dealing with violations of court orders, and the emotional toll of navigating divorce.    * Examples of non-willful violations of court orders and the importance of making reasonable efforts to comply * Situations where pursuing contempt charges for financial issues in divorce cases may be warranted, and the process of filing a petition for the court to consider contempt charges * Assessing the teamwork of law firms, understanding lawyer agreements, and maintaining credibility with the court * Communication strategies with challenging co-parents, using co-parenting apps, and documenting interactions. * Acknowledgment of the emotional toll of divorce, abuse, and gaslighting, and the recommendation to seek mental health support. * Stressing the importance of addressing emotional issues with support, as lawyers are not therapists. This conversation is filled with real-life anecdotes, practical advice, and a touch of humor, all aimed at providing support and guidance for those going through a divorce. Join us as we tackle these complex issues and share resources, all while navigating the intricacies of divorce with honesty and levity. To find James Quigley online, head to: https://www.beermannlaw.com/team/james-m-quigley/ and follow the guy on IG, it'll make his day. https://www.instagram.com/quigleyondivorce/ And remember: If you're concerned about your children's safety during your co parent's parenting time becuase of alcohol, Soberlink is here to help. To learn more visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck and get $50 off your device. Our Family Wizard is here to my coparenting EASIER, how awesome is that??!! To get FREE access to an article that we co wrote with the Our Family Wizard team that gives action steps on how you can better communicate with you ex, go to: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck We have private communities, don't forget!! Join us. We're helpful and, like, way fun: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadytodivorce http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Andrea and Morgan discuss creating parenting schedules and ensuring the best interests of the children. Topics include 50/50 arrangements, right of first refusal, asking for more than 50% custody, custodial custody vs parenting time, best parenting time schedules for younger kids, and creative parenting time schedules. They also mention using Our Family Wizard for coparenting and share information about their private community.

In today’s episode, Andrea and Morgan discuss what happens AFTER you’ve been served with a petition for divorce…aka “dissolution of marriage”.    So if you’ve wondered: How do I choose the right 🤷🏻‍♀️divorce attorney? How do I manage 🤦🏼‍♂️ divorce stress? Who can help me understand 🙅🏻‍♀️ divorce documents? Then this episode is for YOU.    You deserve the right guidance and mindset is CRUCIAL.   Divorce is a journey that can be navigated with resilience and grace, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you practical advice, and a much-needed dose of humor. ********** If alcohol is an issue and you’re concerned about your kids’ safety during your co-parent's parenting time, please check out Soberlink. http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Vist the link to get $50 off your device. And if you want more guidance and support in regards to co-parenting, head over to Our Family Wizard. Our Family Wizard is here to make co-parenting EASIER. Click on this → link ← to get free access to communication tips that will save you time, money, and a big fat headache!  Please visit our private communities for more. http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And follow us on IG! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

You gotta hear this episode.  The end of Moncia's marriage involved betrayal, alcohol abuse, and porn addiction. What's fascinating about her experience is not what she went through, but how she CHOSE to heal. When Monica and her now ex husband entered couples therapy, they also did individual therapy, and Monica join a support group. In that support group, she found perspective and reflection. With that, she was able to see that there was a role that SHE PLAYED in the breakdown of the marriage. Now, it's not to say that anything that Monica did or didn't do caused her husband to make his choices. Rather, Monica was able to see that some of her behavior came from a strong desire to control a situation, what wasn't helping anything.  Once she was able to let go and accept her husband for who he was, everthing changed. Yes, their divorce process began, but so did Monica's beautiful healing process. Fast forward to the present day: Monica is sharing her dinner table with her exhusband, their children, AND her new boyfriend. You can see for yourself on her IG: https://www.instagram.com/monicaleighblog/ She now hosts her own podcast: Choosing to Heal with Monica Leigh She also runs her own support community for other women looking to heal! Check it out! https://monicaleighblog.com/community   This episode should give you hope and inspiration. Please visit our private communities for more. http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And follow us on IG! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

if you are not quite ready for divorce and want to listen to this episode without downloading it to your device, you are welcome to subscribe to our Patreon channel, where, for $4.99 a month, you can access our entire library of episodes   Trauma makes a home in our bodies. Recent studies have shown that traditional talk therapy might not be enough to help people recover from trauma.  (eye roll) Great. So, now what??  This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce features Dr Melissa Kalt. Dr Melissa is a triple board certified physician turned trauma healer. Dr Melissa offers group programs and 1:1 services for people wanting to heal from their trauma. She even met with Andrea in December. Be sure to listen to Andrea's experience and how Dr Melissa was able to pinpoint her pain and help her release it. Something to note is that the trauma lives in our bodies because of the story we told ourselves about the traumatic event, not so much the event itself....food for thought.  (Poor Morgan found this topic to get a little too "woo woo" for her at times...what do you think??) The takeaway here is that if you are suffering, you deserve not to suffer. If trauma healing can help you, why wouldn't you try it? You can access Dr Melissa's FREE 5-part masterclass, "Hack the Confidence Rollercoaster" at confidencerollercoaster.com   Join Antifragile Rebels at antifragilerebels.com **Remember to use coupon code NOTSUCK50 for 50% off each month!   Learn more on her website at melissakaltmd.com   You can also find Dr Melissa at the below sites:   https://www.quora.com/profile/Dr-Melissa-Kalt-MD https://antifragilenarcissistsurvivorswithdrmelissa.quora.com/ https://medium.com/@MelissaKalt https://www.facebook.com/melissakaltmd/  https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-kalt-md/   https://www.pinterest.com/melissakaltmd/  https://twitter.com/melissakaltmd https://www.instagram.com/melissakaltmd/  And remember, our private FB community is here to support you. Please join! Join FB Group Here You can do this, friends. It won't be easy, but we'll help you through it.  You've got this. And we've got you. 

For many people getting divorced, it's inevitable that you're going to be stuck for a certain period of time, living with your ex.   And yes, that's going to suck. Luckily, we have some insight on the situation that we want to share with you.  This episode is a re air from a few seasons ago. We are coming to you with a FRESH, BRAND NEW episode next week! So take a listen to "When You're Stuck Living with Your Ex" to get your questions answered. Questions like: Can I date other people before I get divorced? Can I spend money on myself and going out if I'm still living with my ex? How will my ex and I figure out kid time? How do I make sure my ex and I are splitting household chores evenly? And friends, we know that divorce is hard. We know it's long and draining.  We are here to help guide you, offer you information, entertainment, and empathy and ultimately, help you not SUCK at getting divorced.  Please rate and reivew our show!! And message us on social, we would love to hear from you!! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce   And join our private communities! https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce - for those needing to listen to our private library http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity - for those looking for community and a place to ask quesitons!

This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponspored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at http://www.betterhelp.com/notsuck and get on your way to being your best self.   We want to help you survive the next few weeks. The holiday season is a stressful time, in the BEST of situations. But if you're also navigating a divorce or considering divorce, then you're managing and extra set of stress and unhappiness that's likely making the next few weeks a really tough time.  Here's how we can help.  Here are 6 pro tips from Morgan and Andrea. You ready for them? Let's go! Set some realistic expectations. Surprises make for more unhappiness. Keep busy.  Prep your family on how to handle themselves around you (tell Aunt Beatrice to not ask you questions)  and possibly your ex. Watch the cheesy holiday movies, we're talking the REALLY cheesy ones, Hallmark channel style. Nothing bad happens in these movies and it makes for great background noise Just say no to parties you don't want to attend. Nobody really cares.  Move your body. It's so damn important. If it's really cold where you live, walk around the mall, or even around a Target.  And please, join our private communites for extra support! Here are the links: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you need to listen to our episodes discreetly (for those of you who aren't ready to file for divorce and don't want this show popping up on your subscription list) https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce FYI: it’s a private community that does have a small fee. $4.99 a month to get all of the episodes discreetly. Ideal for if you don’t want your spouse seeing that you’re listening to the show.  We’re adding to this channel everyday- so soon there will videos there too.  The charge shows up as “Patreon” which is just a platform for additional podcasts.   Also! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. AND, you can get free information on coparenting and handling sticky situations! Head here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Kate Anthony, host of The Divorce Survivial Guide, is chatting with us tonight to offer another tool to help you at the beginning of your divorce process. The "D" Word, a new book out by Kate, will offer you a lot of insight and guidance as you decide, "should I stay or should I go?" Should I stay married for my kids? Does this count as abuse? Why am I so unhappy? What does a healthy relationship even look like? If the above quesitons sound familar to you...go grab a copy of Kate's book.  https://www.amazon.com/Word-Making-Ultimate-Decision-Marriage/dp/0806542357 Our hope is that this conversation helps you feel like someone gets what you're going through. We know that the decision to divorce is not easy. We know that there there are a multitude of emotions that fly through your head and heart and that you likely feel an incredible amount of weight on your shoulders.  Our advice? Talk about these thoughts and feelings. Get your butt in therapy. Start getting honest with yourself about what you want for your life and for your kids' lives. Take responsibility in the role that you play in not only your marraige but also in your life in general.  A now, a word from our sponsors: Treat yourself to the softest sheets this holiday season. Visit http://www.cozyearth.com and use code: HNTSAD to save up to 35% ! Our Family Wizard is here to help make coparenting easier. And if you could use some additional support regarding coparenting, do yourself a favor and sign up for their FREE newsletter: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck And visit Kate Anthony's site to learn more about her podcast and everything else that she has to offer. She's a wealth of support and guidance. https://kateanthony.com And if you need access to our private library, to listen to all of our episodes in the most discreet way, please sign up for our subscription service. http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And our free community over on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity          

"I'm just going to make it through the holidays" "I think I can hang on a little bit longer" "It's just not the right time." There's no good time to get divorced. But there's (of course) a TON of reasons that come into consideration when someone decides when to file. So what should you do when you know you want to leave, but you're not quite ready for divorce?? 1- EDUCATE YOURSELF.  This is your time to gather as much information as possible. Listen to this show, ask questions..join our private communites. 2- TALK TO AN ATTORNEY. In most cases, you don't need to hire someone until you're ready to file, but you should certainly start the interview process. Remember, we suggest you interview 3 attorneys before hiring someone.  3-START PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO MONEY. We're talking about money coming in and money going out. (see our previous episodes about $$ to get more guidance here) 4-THERAPY. Get your butt in therapy. Now. In fact, stop this podcast and go. You deserve support and BTW, so do your kids. In fact, the waitlsits right now for childrens' therapists are INSANE so start doing research now and get on those lists for therapists that would right to help your family. Being proactive vs reactive is ALWAYS the better choice.  What should you NOT do?? 1- Take to social media. Don't change profile pictures or start bringing attention to yourself until you know exactly what you're doing and prepared to answer questions 2- Go spending a ton a money. 3-If you're already in another relationship- DON'T make extravegant purchases or travel plans. Especially depending on the state you live in. And if you are in another relationship, don't conceal this fact from your attorney. You need to have an open and honest relationship with your divorce attorney and they cannot fully support and advise you if they don't know all of the facts.  And if you need more insight and want the most discreet way to listen to this show, join our community on Patreon. This community offers you our entire library of episodes that you can access without needing to suscribe to our show. This channel will also hold bonus interviews and conversations that will help you as you make your decision and support you along the way.  http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce   And now, a word from our Sponsors,  Don't sleep on those old sheets that you shared with your ex, omg, YUCK!! Treat yourself this holiday season with the luxious sheets from Cozy Earth. Vist http://www.cozyearth.com and use code HNTSAD to save up to 35%!!! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Make sure you sign up for their free newsletter at http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

For those of you who are facing the holidays WITHOUT your kids, let us reassure that your feelings dread and sorrow are completely normal. Even if you're feeling mixed emotions, THAT'S completely normal.  It's a dramatic change from how things used to be. It can feel strange...empty...and just plain wrong.  We can promise you this: you WILL get through these holidays...even though they might be challenging.  Listen to this special re- air episode with our friend, Lisa McGregor, to hear her take on what she did to help herself get through those first few years...you hear Andrea weigh in as well- her take is a little different.    And here are some updated action steps from Andrea: Let yourself feel sad. Pretending you're okay when you're not does you no favors. Move your body. We're not asking you to run a mile, but we are asking you to go for a walk. Do something, anything. You don't need to go our and party all night, but grabbing a fresh Starbucks at least gets you out of the house.    And now, a word from our sponsors: Treat yourself to some new sheets, don't sleep on those same sheets you shared with your ex, YUCK. Cozy Earth is all about LUXURY!!  Visit : http://www.cozyearth.com and use code: HNTSAD to save 35%!!! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. Visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to sign up for their FREE newsletter and learn our OFW can help YOU!   Join our private community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you need to listen to our episodes privately: http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce