
Playing With Fire
Welcome to Playing With Fire, the podcast for people who are ready to custom-build their love.
We’re talking about non-monogamy–however you design it–as an individuation opportunity.
Want to leave the default and make your life spectacularly you? You’re in the right place.
Latest episodes

Oct 14, 2023 • 40min
127 Comperstruggle: When Jealousy & Compersion Collide with Dr. Marie Thouin
Have you ever felt like you’re caught in a mix of jealousy and compersion? Like you want to be happy for your partner, but there’s also this feeling of jealousy tugging at you? You are so not alone. Dr. Marie Thouin has joined us on Playing With Fire before, but this time is extra special, because we’ve coined a new word for that conflicted feeling—comperstruggle! And we’re telling you all about it.
Making the transition from comperstruggle to compersion isn’t always easy, but in this episode we go deep into how self-care, working with your emotions, and strong agreements and communication with your partners can make all the difference while you navigate this challenging space.
Go to WhatIsCompersion.com to book a FREE 30-minute session with Dr. Marie Thouin, and to download her compersion worksheet
Follow her on Instagram @love_insight_dating
Read more about comperstruggle on my blog
JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. The waitlist is open now at www.theyearofopening.com
Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Oct 7, 2023 • 58min
126 Finding Your People with the Hosts of Normalizing Non-Monogamy, Emma & Fin
If you’re at the beginning of your non-monogamy journey, or if you’re feeling a little stuck and you don’t know where to turn for community, this episode is for you. We’re joined by Emma and Fin from the Normalizing Non-Monogamy Podcast to discuss all things community.
We talk about why community is so important for people who are exploring non-monogamy, the challenges that come with the process of finding and building community, communication and connection in long-term relationships, coming out, balancing authenticity and safety while navigating different social contexts, conflict, privacy, and how all of these things might impact your own personal growth and self-care journeys.
Normalizing Non-Monogamy isn’t just a podcast—it’s also a thriving virtual community of people from all around the world. Click here to check it out!
JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at www.TheYearOfOpening.com
Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com
Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here
Music: Dance of Felt by Blue Dot Sessions

Sep 23, 2023 • 1h 12min
125 The Jealousy Roadmap
Struggling with your own jealousy?
Partner struggling with jealousy?
Friends/community arguing about how to handle jealousy?
This episode was MADE for you.
The jealousy roadmap emerged directly from my qualitative research on jealousy. Since then I’ve put it to the test with hundreds of people- it works.
And I want you to have it for free because jealousy is a normal emotion and you deserve to feel empowered to work with jealousy proactively.
You’ll also want to download >>>The Jealousy Roadmap Workbook HERE
BONUS!!! If this gets you excited, take the next step and download The Jealousy Masterclass — a 3-hour seminar and 30-page workbook perfect for continuing your jealousy shadow work 50% off because I LOVE that you are diving into your jealousy work!
GET THE JEALOUSY MASTERCLASS 50% off
Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com
Stuck on step 5 of the jealousy roadmap? Nurture Compersion by checking out Dr. Marie Thouin's work at www.WhatIsCompersion.com

Sep 9, 2023 • 1h 3min
124 Are you ready to bring your whole quirky self to your relationships? with Rachel Wright
How does it go for you to show up with all your unique you-ness? Of course some of you is private, but it can be tricky to bring the rest of you out into your relationships. We talk with distinguished psychotherapist and renowned speaker Rachel Wright about our various experiences being out as our individual selves.
For more from Rachel:
www.rachelwrightnyc.com
The Wright Conversations podcast
Instagram: @thewright_rachel
Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Aug 26, 2023 • 41min
123 Weasel Words and Creating More Intimacy in your Relationships
There are things you can do to build intimacy in your relationships, and things you can do that can break it down. We're talking about wording agreements and commitments in ways that avoid leaving back doors you can sneak out of. and leave you present to your partners and yourself. And what can happen if you don't.
Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Aug 19, 2023 • 1h
122 Get The Skills to Build your Own Relationship - With Guest Expert Carrie Jeroslow
Do the limited choices on the mainstream relationship menu leave you feeling restless and looking for something else? Do you think something more customized would suit you and your partners or partner better? I hear you, so we're talking with guest expert Carrie Jeroslow, host of Relationship Diversity Podcast. We talk about solo-amory, the line between monogamy and non-monogamy, embracing discomfort, the value of intention in relationships - we packed a lot in here.
Click here to download a free guide to explore Relationship Diversity
Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Aug 12, 2023 • 29min
121 Am I cut out for non-monogamy? Finding safety during your exploration
Non-monogamy is a big adventure. It's also a huge source of fear and dysregulation for a lot of us.
Individuating also involves quite a bit of discomfort.
When that all gets too much, you can fall back on your routes to safety. If you're not familiar with yours, check out Jake Ernst and the resource link below. But what if you've outgrown your old familiar routes and they don't work as well anymore? No fear, we've got some strategies for managing that.
Download the Routes of Safety resource by Jake Ernst
Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Aug 5, 2023 • 48min
120 How do I break through relationship stagnation?
If you've got a relationship that's feeling like it's hit a plateau, what can you do? It doesn't matter if it's with a romantic partner or a friend or a family member, the moves are pretty similar. We've been there, and we're talking about options to enhance your own aliveness, and the vitality of your relationships. It's not particularly complicated, but it might be hard. How hard it is is specific to you and your relationship.
Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Jul 22, 2023 • 46min
119 Soft Cock Week with guest expert Michelle Renee
Wiggly, firm, soft, rigid - peens are shape shifters. Why does that matter? Well, somebody you know might have one, and they might have feelings about that, what with the cultural pressures brought to bear on them. Guest expert Michelle Renee started Soft Cock Week, we talk with her about why she did that, what it's for, what's in it for you, and lots more about finding pleasure in life.
Go to SoftCockWeek.com for resources, upcoming events, opportunities to participate and contribute.
Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Jul 15, 2023 • 56min
118 Are there quick and easy ways to manage stress? A: Yes. With guest experts Elisabeth Kristof, Melanie Weller, and Matt Bush
You're alive in a human body, so you have a nervous system, and sometimes it freaks out. What do you do then? We learned Neuro-Somatic Intelligence from the incomparable Elisabeth Kristof, Melanie Weller, and Matt Bush, and they have the same problems we all do. So we got them to share some of their stories of how they use the tools they teach us in their daily lives, and how you can learn to use them too.
They're enrolling their next cohort now, so go to Brain Based Wellness to get their free workshop and start working with Elisabeth, Mark, and Melanie.
Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com