Veto power: What is it? What are the pros of cons of using it in polyamorous relationships? Could the desire to exercise it be a relic from your monomind? Spoiler alert: we aren’t fans of veto power. It can feel like a protective measure, but veto power can actually inhibit the trust and personal growth that makes relationships strong. There are many ways to create safety and negotiate boundaries without having to incorporate a power imbalance into your love life—and we’re talking about them in this episode. We also share some of our own experiences with veto power, and answer a lot of questions you may have about metamours, negotiation, and much more. If you’ve used veto power in your relationships before, it’s never to late to revisit the conversation—no matter how challenging that may be! Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, The Year Of Opening. Go here now >>> www.TheYearOfOpening.com Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

‘Agreements’ and ’consequences’ can feel like big scary words, but they are not the same things and ‘rules’ and ‘punishments.’ In fact, when you put these frameworks into practice, they can actually make you feel so much more security and relief. We discuss why it’s important, especially in non-monogamous relationships, to have clear agreements, and to have clear next steps for what happens when those agreements are broken. We walk through some example scenarios and discuss the benefits of proactive problem solving as opposed to leaving these important decisions to be made in the moment. We also talk about needs, wants, boundaries, and ultimatums, and how having nuanced, regulated, intentional conversations about these subjects can create parameters for creative connection while maintaining ease and safety. Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, The Year Of Opening. Go here now >>> www.TheYearOfOpening.com Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

This podcast delves into the idea of relationship 'work' feeling more like play, emphasizing effort, attitude, and structure. It explores defining relationship purpose, using structured processes and tools, navigating clarity and connection, and seeking outside support for continuous growth in relationships.

If you’ve had a partner bring up the possibility of non-monogamy, and your reaction was - ‘why am I not enough?’ - you’re not alone. We dive into why this feeling comes up so often for people who are exploring non-monogamy, and we discuss what depth psychology can teach us about how to move through this painful feeling. We share our personal experiences of feeling unvalued in relationships, and of struggling to support partners through their own feelings of low self-worth while moving through different stages of an open relationship. This feeling doesn’t have to last forever—in fact, non-monogamy and the individuation work that comes with it can help you to address preexisting, underlying self-worth issues and foster a sense of stability and resilience. Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, The Year Of Opening. Go here now >>> www.TheYearOfOpening.com Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Conversations about de-escalation can stir up a lot of fear—change freaks us out!—but things are always changing in our relationships, especially when we’re exploring non-monogamy and untangling ourselves from the fairy tale, rom-com version of love. De-escalation doesn’t always have to be a sudden, slam-on-the-brakes change—we discuss how de-escalation can be a pragmatic, intentional way of attending to what the situation actually needs, instead of following the traditional relationship stepladder. We share some of our own experiences of escalating and de-escalating our relationship, we talk about our ongoing processes of questioning and re-imagining the cultural narratives of breakups, and we discuss the challenges of navigating parenting and relationship changes. JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠⁠ Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at ⁠www.JoliQuiz.com⁠ Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! ⁠Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here⁠ Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠⁠Blue Dot Sessions

What if you didn’t have to cut yourself off from your own toxic attractions? Sounds ridiculous, right? I MUST have to go cold turkey on my romanticization of a**hole behavior. But what if exploring them took your personal growth journey to the next level? In this episode, we’re diving deep into why that kinky stuff is so yummy, and what you can do to leverage your toxic romanticizations into growth + fun. We’re joined by Sunny Megatron, a sex, kink, and BDSM educator and media personality, and we get into all the juicy details of how exploring taboo subjects can actually help you express yourself, explore your unconscious, form stronger boundaries, regain a sense of agency, and process past traumas. Sunny Megatron is an award-winning Sexologist, Kink & BDSM Educator, Certified Sex Educator and Relationship Coach, and media personality. If you haven’t followed her socials yet, you’re really missing out! JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠⁠ Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at ⁠www.JoliQuiz.com⁠ Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! ⁠Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here⁠ Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠⁠Blue Dot Sessions

Conflict happens. Especially when differentiation and individuation are parts of your personal and relational journeys. And that’s a good thing! Enter Imago Dialogue, a communication tool created by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. Not only can it transform your communication, using Imago Dialogue can transform conflict into more connection. Whether you’re practicing Imago Dialogue with a romantic partner, family member, or friend, the core idea behind it is something a lot of us have talked about before: I want to feel understood. I want you to understand me! We walk through the steps of Imago Dialogue, but we also go deeper and talk about how you can set yourself up for success. We talk about practical tools, like emotional regulation techniques, to use before and after your conversation, and we walk through an entire real-life, real-time example of using Imago Dialogue. Learn more about Dr. Harville Hendrix’s and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt’s work here: www.HarvilleAndHelen.com Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, The Year Of Opening. Go here now >>> www.TheYearOfOpening.com Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

You can be fully immersed in polyamory, living and breathing the non-monogamous lifestyle, and still be stuck in a monogamous mindset. If you feel split, conflicted, like you’re living in bifurcated parallel universes between different partners, you’re not alone. The paradigm of monogamy runs deep in our society, so it’s no surprise that many people have a hard time breaking out of monogamous internal frameworks, even when so much of their lives reflects their polyamorous identity. That’s why this conversation is so important—we're talking about shaking away the stigma and learning how to find and process your internalized polyphobia. Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, The Year Of Opening. Go here now >>> www.TheYearOfOpening.com Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Have you ever felt like you’re caught in a mix of jealousy and compersion? Like you want to be happy for your partner, but there’s also this feeling of jealousy tugging at you? You are so not alone. Dr. Marie Thouin has joined us on Playing With Fire before, but this time is extra special, because we’ve coined a new word for that conflicted feeling—comperstruggle! And we’re telling you all about it. Making the transition from comperstruggle to compersion isn’t always easy, but in this episode we go deep into how self-care, working with your emotions, and strong agreements and communication with your partners can make all the difference while you navigate this challenging space. Go to WhatIsCompersion.com to book a FREE 30-minute session with Dr. Marie Thouin, and to download her compersion worksheet Follow her on Instagram @love_insight_dating⁠⁠ Read more about comperstruggle on my blog⁠ JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. The waitlist is open now at www.theyearofopening.com Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

If you’re at the beginning of your non-monogamy journey, or if you’re feeling a little stuck and you don’t know where to turn for community, this episode is for you. We’re joined by Emma and Fin from the Normalizing Non-Monogamy Podcast to discuss all things community. We talk about why community is so important for people who are exploring non-monogamy, the challenges that come with the process of finding and building community, communication and connection in long-term relationships, coming out, balancing authenticity and safety while navigating different social contexts, conflict, privacy, and how all of these things might impact your own personal growth and self-care journeys. Normalizing Non-Monogamy isn’t just a podcast—it’s also a thriving virtual community of people from all around the world. Click here to check it out! JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠⁠ Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at ⁠www.JoliQuiz.com⁠ Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! ⁠Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here⁠ Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠⁠Blue Dot Sessions