169 Q&A Quickie: Why am I having such a hard time sticking to my agreements?

Relationship agreements are awesome. They can take you from a place of ambiguity and assumptions to a place of clarity and transparency. But what happens when the hardest part of relationship agreements is… actually… fulfilling them?? It can leave you feeling defeated and sh*tty.

If you relate to that feeling, this episode is for you. There might be some tender spots, shadowy patterns, or subconscious desires hiding beneath the surface, and we’re going to help you unearth them. We’re also going to walk you through some crucial steps in the process of accountability and repair with your partner(s).

In this episode, we’re talking about:

— Ken’s struggles with keeping relationship agreements around timing and logistics

— The importance of accountability after agreements have been broken

— Determining whether or not a relationship is safe and in alignment with your needs after agreements are broken

— Making agreements based on your values, and the difference between aspirational values and lived values

— The power of nervous system regulation during the agreement-making and repair processes

— How shadow work connects to struggles with relationship agreements

— Awareness vs acceptance of patterns

— The subconscious narratives that can underlie weaponized incompetence

— Why differentiation is vital to the agreement-making and -keeping processes

— Why this predicament can be strong material for your individuation journey

— The power of iterative agreements instead of fixed ones

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— PWF Episode 149 Relationship Agreements 101

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions