Playing With Fire

Discover the art of differentiation and its crucial role in conscious relationships. The hosts discuss how recognizing your feelings and needs can prevent resentment and emotional gridlock. Learn to articulate your views for personal growth, and explore the delicate balance between intimacy and individuality. Real-life examples and practical tools make the journey of self-exploration relatable and actionable. Dive into the transformative process of fostering connections while keeping your identity intact.

We get this question a lot. But there are some questions lying under the surface of this one… first and foremost, will non-monogamy make it possible for us to not deal with all the shit that we just don't want to deal with?? It probably won’t surprise you to hear that our answers to these questions are nuanced, complicated, and exciting, but also possibly dysregulating!! To answer this question, we’re diving into the complexities of transitioning to non-monogamy. There are so many opportunities *and* roadblocks that can pop up on the road to polyamory (trust us, we would know!). We discuss how to avoid resentment, the importance of transparency and communication, and how non-monogamy can bring about the potential for some seriously transformative personal and relational growth. Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at⁠⁠ www.JoliQuiz.com Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here

AKA–what do I do when everything in my relationship goes sideways?? To kick off season nine of PWF, we’re getting vulnerable and digging deep. We share our personal experiences with relational dysregulation, and we discuss communication styles, attachment tendencies, and tools that help us resolve conflict. Dysregulation can be fertile ground for relational growth. To show you why, we turn to our depth psychology roots, and explore concepts like embracing multiplicity, shadow exploration, and transcending binaries of good and bad. Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at⁠⁠ www.JoliQuiz.com⁠

We’re back with Jessica Fern and David Cooley, co-authors of the incredible book Polywise, and this time they’re answering your questions. We cover so much in this episode, but it’s all through the lens of a restorative relational framework, which is an incredibly powerful way to transform how you move through conflict in your relationships. Their responses include both practical exercises that you can implement in your life today, and important, big-picture discussions about polyamory, attachment, jealousy, reassurance, parenting, and so much more. Here are the questions that Jessica and David answer in this episode: What would you recommend for a hinge partner working to unpack codependence in non-monogamy? How do I manage this feeling? - When my partner is getting closer to someone else, in my head, that means that they're moving further away from me. How can I rebuild or repair metamour relationships when resentment and misunderstandings have started to pile up? What do you do when you're parenting with someone that you're disentangling from? How do I meet attachment needs within long distance partnerships? Jessica Fern is a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and NonMonomgamy and The Polysecure Workbook. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. Learn more at www.JessicaFern.com David Cooley is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, and bilingual cultural broker. He is the creator of the Restorative Relationship Conversations model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. In his private practice, David specializes in working with non-monogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, incorporating a variety of modalities including trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative theory, and mindfulness-based techniques. To learn more about doing restorative partner work with David, visit his website here: ⁠www.restorativerelationship.com JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.theyearofopening.com⁠⁠ Playing With Fire has been featured as one of the top 5 ⁠⁠best non-monogamy podcasts⁠⁠! Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at⁠⁠ www.JoliQuiz.com⁠

Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud discusses the importance of consent and emotional skills for men in navigating relationship challenges. He emphasizes the need to redefine masculinity, break free from societal norms, and foster authentic connections. The podcast explores diverse responses in relationships, challenges traditional masculinity scripts, and highlights the beauty within individuals.

Enmeshment doesn’t have to be a big scary subject. In this episode, we’re breaking it down into two simple (but super important!) pieces: over-functioning and under-functioning. If you suspect you might be enmeshed in your relationship(s), and you want to start identifying those patterns, this one is a must-listen. We take it all the way to the root and examine the core wounds and beliefs that could be underlying your relationship patterns. AND, we talk about how practical tools like embodied awareness can help you honor your and your partners’ individuation journeys. Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, The Year Of Opening. Go here now >>> www.TheYearOfOpening.com Playing With Fire has been featured as one of the top 5 ⁠⁠best non-monogamy podcasts⁠⁠! Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at⁠⁠ www.JoliQuiz.com⁠

Individuation, enmeshment, symbiosis, co-dependence, individualism, interdependence… how on Earth can we navigate through all these paradigms and bring balance to our relationships?? Luckily, in this episode, we’re joined by Jessica Fern and David Cooley, two all-star authors and practitioners in the non-monogamy space. We get into the nuances of individuation, and how to work towards differentiation in a way that is intentional instead of reactive. We talk about the mono-mind (that sneaky thing is always causing trouble!!) and how it can be a barrier to individuation and healthy conflict resolution in non-monogamous relationships. Jessica and David’s new book Polywise is a must-read. Learn more about it here! Jessica Fern is a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and NonMonomgamy and The Polysecure Workbook. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. Learn more at www.JessicaFern.com David Cooley is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, and bilingual cultural broker. He is the creator of the Restorative Relationship Conversations model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. In his private practice, David specializes in working with non-monogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, incorporating a variety of modalities including trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative theory, and mindfulness-based techniques. To learn more about doing restorative partner work with David, visit his website here: ⁠www.restorativerelationship.com Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, The Year Of Opening. Go here now >>> www.TheYearOfOpening.com Playing With Fire has been featured as one of the top 5 ⁠⁠best non-monogamy podcasts⁠⁠! Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at⁠⁠ www.JoliQuiz.com⁠

Jessica Fern, a psychotherapist and author specializing in non-monogamy and attachment theory, dives into the intricate balance between secure attachment and individuation. She discusses how awareness of attachment styles can reshape relationships, especially in non-monogamous contexts. Jealousy and parental guilt are explored, along with methods to address these emotions for healthier connections. Jessica also touches on shame and its link to trauma, emphasizing the need for self-compassion and effective communication in navigating complex relational dynamics.

Communication, transitions, new relationship energy, oh my! Being a hinge partner between multiple consensually non-monogamous relationships can be so overwhelming. Don’t worry—in this second episode of our hinge skills series, we’re diving even deeper into the skills you can develop that could take you from squeaky hinge to skillful tapestry weaver. We discuss all the tricky aspects of polyamorous relationships and metamours—needs, boundaries, emotions, schedules, energy levels, the list goes on…—and how you can bring these various pieces into harmony. Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, The Year Of Opening. Go here now >>> www.TheYearOfOpening.com Playing With Fire has been featured as one of the top 5 best non-monogamy podcasts! Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Feeling more like a doorstop than a hinge? We’ve been there. If you are the pivot point between multiple partners in a polyamorous relationship, you already know that it can be a challenging role to play. In this episode, we're talking about what it means to be a hinge, and what skills you can build to help you fill this role. Highlights include: time management, boundary setting, responsibility, distress tolerance, and so much more. Listen on to find out how you can strengthen your relationships with yourself, your partners, and your metamours! Playing With Fire has been featured as one of the top 5 ⁠best non-monogamy podcasts⁠! Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, The Year Of Opening. Go here now >>> www.TheYearOfOpening.com Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com