Conversations from the Heart

Navigating relationships with difficult family members can sometimes be a Herculean task.This episode highlights four main strategies for walking the path of authentic communication with family members who can be hard to connect with:1.  Practicing the art of translating judgments into feelings and needs.2.  Maintaining deep connection with ourselves. 3.  Locating the conversation in the present and not the past.4.  Melting defensiveness by creating enough internal capacity to be present to someone else's pain.  We discuss:5:07  My family can be so judgmental.  How can I communicate better with them?6:26  How to practice translating judgments into feelings and needs.16:10  The inside practice essential for staying grounded when someone else is activated.19:17  "When we are helping someone else wake up to the dynamics of a situation, we want it to be as gentle as possible so they enjoy it and do more of it."25:08  How can I establish trust with my brother who avoids me?32:58  Want to change the same old complaint-filled conversation?  Try locating the conversation in the present, not the past.36:23  How can we begin melting defensiveness?37:11  A script for moving forward when you need an answer and the other person is silent.40:15  How to get more of what you want.Something that can make it difficult for families to connect authentically with one another are the relational habits we fall into.  This fall I'll be offering a practice group that dives deep into narcissism and shame and I'd love to see you there!  Interested in learning more?  Check out all the details. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

Transforming relationships begins with introspection and intentional changes in behavior. The discussion centers on establishing shared realities and the importance of asking tough questions. Learn the pitfalls of demands and the true essence of caring for one another's needs. The speakers share insights on fostering emotional intimacy while tackling avoidant attachment styles. They emphasize mutuality, compassion, and the importance of acknowledging feelings of invalidation. Practical tips for handling emotional conflicts with empathy provide a roadmap to deeper connections.

This week's episode explores themes of belonging, and the human need we all share for community.We explore:1:59  I don't feel like I belong anywhere5:50  Rising into grandiosity or sinking into shame7:19  Belonging to Yourself12:05  The role of reverence14:03  How do I handle passive aggressive comments?25:20  We're either repeating or transforming a dynamic26:43  Make the implicit explicit34:28  My friend takes a long time to text me back and it hurts my feelings For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

This week's episode is an investigation into working things through in relationship:  with our extended family, our mothers, our daughters, and ourselves.We explore:1:18  The dynamics I see in my nieces and nephews repeat the dynamics between my siblings and I get triggered.  How can I help myself and them?4:12  How to ground observations in micro moments13:11  I wanted care and I didn't receive it.  How can I talk about this with no accusations?31:05  A script for sharing what you're needing now34:00  How do I tell my daughter I long for more acceptance from her?49:00  How can I support myself as I continue to grow into who I am? For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

This week's caller is looking for scripts that can help her call out some discriminatory dynamics at work. She asks:  "I am facing new challenges in my work environment. More specifically, I am noticing weird racial dynamics ( for example, staff of colour all scheduled for night shift, and day shift exclusively (no exceptions) staffed by white staff. I have also heard rumours of ‘racially hostile behaviour’ from colleagues and supervisors. For context, I am black/African. I also just notice gossipy, 2-faced behaviour. And all of this makes me feel unsafe. I want to do something about it but I feel so much fear. Any ideas?"   Listen along as we discuss:6:57  The upside of anger and how to work with it skillfully 7:47  The importance of knowing what you WANT to say 11:10  "Why is this happening?"13:04  "I'm scared I'll get fired"21:09  Addressing issues from the power-under position For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

It's a common - if painful - dynamic:  we want to share our pain with another in the hopes of receiving empathy, but their best move is to try and fix our pain by finding fault with something we've said or done.It is so hurtful to be blamed for our own pain.  In this week's episode, a caller asks a universally applicable question:  "What can I do when I share my pain with my spouse and he blames me for it?"Highlights include:2:50  If all I get is blame, why should I even try to have the conversation?7:03  How to ground a discussion in a micro moment10:03 Scripts that help "waking up" feel pleasurable and not painful12:05 Doing the inner work necessary for successful conversations15:15  A script for getting to "Yes"22:54  "I'm not trying to change you."24:24  The role of our defensive system For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

The podcast discusses scripted conversations for tough situations like expressing love, firing someone, discussing commitment, and setting boundaries. It emphasizes authentic communication, emotional honesty, and effective ways to navigate delicate scenarios in relationships.

What do you do when you discover that a friend or loved one sees something in a polar opposite way to how you're seeing it?  Are you able to stay in a place of grounded, open curiosity, or do you find yourself getting worked up and activated, wanting to change their minds? It can be very challenging to connect with loved ones when our belief systems don't match, or when our worldviews are colliding. On this week's podcast, we tackle the hard work of connecting - with friends, with family - around hot button issues.We discuss:1:37  How can I connect with my parents who don't support my choices?13:55  My best friend and I clash over Palestine33:23  An NVC celebration regarding Human 10139:27  Moving past the past For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

As we run through our everyday lives, we'll inevitably bump up against other humans who might be less resourced than we are.  Catching others as they're having a bad day can provide us stellar opportunities to increase our own empathy, and we don't even have to say a word.On this week's episode, we delve into ways to manage our own nervous systems amidst the triggered nervous systems of others, including:4:24  How can someone be verbally aggressive and still profess love?12:59  What yelling does, and doesn't do16:54  How can NVC help me when I feel frozen?24:06  How can capacity building help me field someone else's triggered reactions?30:13  How can I get better at holding my own needs along with someone else's?37:37  The 2 part practice for fielding someone else's triggered response For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

Do you ever worry that empathy is getting in the way?  In this week's episode, one caller worried that empathizing with his mother in law's fear of having cancer was actually making her anxiety worse, and not better.  On this call one of the things we discuss is anxiety, and some of the tips we can use when trying to empathize with someone who's feeling anxious.1:51  My friend is dismissive when I try to talk about my body.15:24  Our bodies have often been used as tools of oppression.17:34  I'm confused, and you get defensive when I ask questions.35:56  Dad, is your offer to pay for college still open?41:45  Is empathy increasing the anxiety?46:57  How can I stay grounded in myself when I'm falling for you? For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page