Conversations from the Heart

When they're good, our friendships can greatly contribute to the overall quality of our life.  When they're hard, our friendships can make life really difficult.On this episode of Conversations from the Heart, we talk about all kinds of issues regarding friendships.  We discuss:1:01  How do I take a break from a friendship?8:10  How to acknowledge a truth instead of debate it.14:46  Is it worth it to try and reveal myself to a friend or should I just cut ties?19:55  How to be vulnerable with those who deserve to hear it.21:23  How denying ourselves a whole hearted yes or a whole hearted no hurts us.24:47  The difference between a peer and a project.28:19  How do I allow myself permission to change my mind?29:26  Allowing people to solve their own problems is an act of respect.34:07  The only people who object to us looking after ourselves are the people who benefit when we don't.35:40  How can I approach a friend about the past?41:25  I can always tell the truth, but can I field the response?44:42  What prevents us from feeling empathy?50:16  Help me decline an invitation! For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

One of the hardest decisions we can make is to dismantle a marriage when there are children involved.On this episode of the podcast, we uncover how to make the decision of whether to stay in or leave a marriage because of the kids.  We also discuss:1:34  How do I make accommodations for my needs and my children's needs at the same time?4:01  Determining the values behind our needs6:15  Grief and acceptance in a relationship8:28  An old flame is coming into town.  How can I have a safe conversation about hurt feelings?14:37  Discerning someone's role in our life17:23  The importance of exhibiting care20:45  The difference between caring for someone's well-being and taking responsibility for it23:31  What words can I use to calm down a charged situation?  For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

It's domination programming that teaches us the louder we raise our voices, the faster the other person will capitulate and join our side.However, in order to affect real change, the key is to get others to care about what it is we're caring about.  And this is a much slower, longer, harder task.In this episode, we talk with a caller embarking on a trip to South Africa, who is interested in showing up authentically to her traveling companions, without raising their defenses.  The ultimate goal?  To get them to care about what she cares about.  We discuss:1:44  How can I show up authentically around my husband's colleagues when we see the world so differently?3:34  One of the dynamics present is the devaluation of indigenous history and culture 5:55  How to step out of the old domination game7:43  Making the implicit explicit12:54  Empathizing with the other side16:37  The importance of expressing care18:45  It's enough to introduce a disruptive voice into the room For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

The locus of control in a boundary lies with us, and concerns what we are willing and unwilling to do.One of the data points we can use when negotiating our boundaries is how others engage with us.In this podcast episode, we discuss our responsibility for setting up terms for engagement that are centered around our values, and we discuss:1:11  How do I reinforce a boundary with out losing my temper?5:37  The locus of control in boundary setting5:55  Setting terms of engagement in our relationships15:14  I apologized to my friend, but now she thinks we're friends again20:43  Conversation role play with a friend 34:23  Is it even worth having these types of conversations?  They're so hard!40:05  I'm worried verbal empathy can make things worse For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

It can be incredibly painful when we find ourselves in relationships where we long for deeper authentic connection but can't seem to elicit that desire in others.In this episode, we discuss:1:11  How can I connect with someone who can't work won't talk about his feelings?8:13  If someone is unhappy, that must mean something is wrong, right?12:11  How our agenda is often an obstacle to authentic connection19:42  How can I find closure with my ex-best friend?23:46  I want her to open up but she won't28:34  My dad is ill; how do I talk to others about his impending death?34:53  I've heard through the grapevine that my friend is upset with me:  should I bring it up to her?  For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

Dive into the labyrinth of 'shoulds' that dictate our lives. Discover the emotional hurdles of dental trauma and the vital role of empathy in care. Explore how parents balance personal needs with their child's achievements, all while navigating the complexities of autism. The conversation touches on radical acceptance and the importance of managing mixed emotions, like those tied to taxes. Embrace joy despite societal pressures, and learn how to foster personal growth through community connections.

When we want to stay in relationship with people who have hurt us, it's important for us to figure out a way to connect with them in a way that keeps us open hearted and also protected.But how, exactly, can we show up open heartedly in ways that also protect us and keep us safe?  That's where open hearted and loving boundaries come in.  In this episode we explore:1:00  How can I make the implicit explicit?12:00  It takes discipline to focus on what's working16:13  I feel exhausted and hurt by my sister's behavior.  How can I make it better?22:09  What does a healthy relationship look like?30:27  What open hearted boundaries can sound like36:24  We get to choose who we let into our lives For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

Explore the journey of transforming cultural norms for healthier relationships. Discover a unique flowchart tool that aids in nurturing authentic connections. Reflect on children's sportsmanship and learn to tackle emotional reactions in games. Delve into managing communication and boundaries amid complexities. Uncover the impact of shame and the importance of self-compassion. Lastly, embrace personal growth through open dialogues and community support. It's all about fostering deeper, more meaningful connections!

Love cannot be ordered up. Care cannot be demanded. If we want certain people to love us, or care about us, is there anything we can do to make that more likely?  This episode explores various relational moves across three scenarios that might help to inspire more care for ourselves from other people.  We discuss:1:36  The stove is broken.  How can I inspire my partner to care about this?5:25  The two levels in every conversation: Tactical and Relational9:43  How to amplify another's good intentions16:59  How to have an honest discussion with a friend group?21:05  Checking for shared purpose:  Do you still want a connection with me?23:36  How to show up differently in a conflict31:23  Strategies for getting my HOA to care about our well water For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

We may be interested in living an authentic, honest life.Unfortunately, that doesn't necessarily mean those we're closest to are interested in doing the same thing.The easiest way to encourage those around us to show up authentically is by ensuring we make that experience as easy and enjoyable as possible for them.In this episode, we discuss:2:31  My daughter rescinded her dinner invitation and my feelings were hurt, and I pretended it was fine when I was actually really hurt.13:34  How powerful requests can revolutionize relationships17:10  Behavior is coded communication23:46  My grandson won't greet me28:30  A script for gathering the data needed to move forward38:17  Getting Grounded in Our Goodness40:30  How to interrupt interpersonal violence46:12  A special offer just for you!Two upcoming programs are discussed in this episode.  Click on the links below for more info:Fall Deep Dive:  A Look at Grandiosity and ShameMarch 2025 Retreat in Santa Fe For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page