Becoming Whole

Send us a textShame is a powerful influencer. And if we let it get loud enough, it convinces us that we are walking report cards. Shame gives us a capital F saying our behavior is who we are. Let’s turn down the volume on shame. You may be struggling with your behavior but you are not your sin. Your identity is not wrapped in your performance alone. If that statement can’t find it’s way into your heart; listen in on this conversation. Josh invites Regeneration Ministries, Dan Keeffer, to dig deeper into the shame cycle and how to stop it. Because destructive behavior, greased with shame, can move quickly into more destructive behavior. You are meant for more. Stop wrecking yourself with shame and start reconciling yourself to the truth of God your Father. You are loved and welcomed and invited to “Becoming Whole.” Listen in.Highlights:need to be careful about determining who I am or how I’m doing based on any given moment and the behavior at any given moment.Shame piled on top of shame has a way of exacerbating our own self loathing and how we see ourselves before God and our relationships with others.God sees me, not as my sin but as His son.Homework:Mentally Cluttered: Do you find yourself unable to be attentive to your yourself, to God? Your family friend or coworkers? Sin creates clutter in how we interact with others. Ask God to reveal your sin, reveal your shame and then ask Him to reveal His love.Does this sound familiar to you? The Shame Cycle: I feel shame so I act out sexually and feel even more shame. Listen back to the episode. How can you stop the cycle?The distinction between these two statements so you can identify shame, name it and stop the cycle. 1. Guilt is I did something wrong. 2. Shame is there’s something about me that is wrong.Remember: YOU ARE NOT YOUR BEHAVIOR. Behavior is not a measure of who you are as a person and it is not all of you.Resources/Extras:Jay StringerBut even there we have to remember that the devil doesn't have his own clay. All he can do is take God's clay (which is always “very good”) and twist it up. ... Purity of heart enables us to see the good that got twisted up. - Christopher West “Art and the New Evangelization: How Beauty Will Save the World”Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textYou are a sexual creature, created by a Holy God. Your sex drive has an ebb and flow. You have unique factors that contribute to the rise and fall of your libido. There’s a peace and confidence in that awareness.If you’re married, remember the same holds true for your spouse - EXCEPT that their ebb and flow and drive and triggers may be completely different.  It’s no wonder that 1 in every 3 couples struggle with problems associated with different sexual desires. Couples are made up of two people with two different minds, hearts, and yes, different sexual patterns. Sexual compatibility is such a common issue but we don’t talk about it with the person who matters most.  Listen in as Josh and Kit carefully set you and your spouse up for a meaningful conversation. They’ll examine the role past wounds, comparison and other factors play in the bedroom. Learning how to attain full sexual intimacy with your spouse is the goal on this next episode of “Becoming Whole.”Highlights:Letting another person see, embrace, touch and feel your body when you feel deep shame about the form of your body can be a deep wound that you have to work through in your marriageto be sexual between husband and wife is to lower your boundaries the most profound way.In a marriage, husbands and wives are different sexually. Just like they’re different in so many other areas of life but we don’t want to talk about it.Homework:Take some time to examine when and how you first learned about sex. Did it leave you with positive or negative feelings?If Body Shame is an issue for you (as it is for so many people), try talking to your partner about the shame. “This is something that I’m dealing with…”Recommendations: Find a good therapist with experience in sexual abuse trauma or maybe seek out Healing Prayer.Resources/Extras:Genesis Chapter 2Books by Christopher WestTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textIf you’re married, you can attest to the fact that Holy Matrimony don’t necessarily mean holy harmony. Marriage involves the sometimes tough work of learning, adjusting, confronting, putting up with, and blessing your spouse's differences. When those differences hit the bedroom, couples tend to avoid the necessary work. If that sounds uncomfortably familiar, you aren’t alone. In fact, 1 out of 3 couples struggle with differing sexual desires. Josh and Kit invite you into a two part series covering the beautiful and sacred topic of Sex. When love and libido for a husband and wife don’t magically align, it can be disappointing, frustrating and confusing.This challenge can lead some couples to drift apart. Others believe the answer will be found by exploring different sexual techniques or preferences. Both these miss an important truth to building sexual compatibility: The foundation of a good sex life is love--love for one another right there in that place of difference. Let this podcast be a first step for you and your spouse to love each other better in the bedroom.Listen in for Part 1 and then make sure to come back for Part 2 next week.The goal through this series is to set you and your spouse on the same path to loving each other in a free, faithful, full and fruitful sex life.Highlights:the foundation of a good sex life is loveLove in its purest form has 4 different elements: It’s Free, Faithful, Full and Fruitfuljust because we’re talking about the seriousness of love and the sacredness of sexual intimacy doesn’t mean it’s not playful. But it’s playful with the person you’re with in that moment.Homework:FAITHFUL: Sex within marriage reinforces the promise saying, ‘I forsake all others and I choose you.’FREE: Sex within marriage is not owed or demanded, but given freely.FULL: All of me with all of youFRUITFUL: Sex is the method through which new life is created.Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a text“My experience indicates that most people become infatuated or fall in love with others an average of six times in the course of a long marriage.”  Six times - Does that make sense to you or does it offend you?This is the statement Gary Thomas used to share an honest blog post admitting his own attractions while offering advice on how to handle them. Thomas is a best selling author and international speaker whose ministry works to bring people closer to Christ through marriage, parenting and spiritual formation. His heart and career center on the sanctity of marriage.  As you can imagine, Thomas’ words unlocked a flood of raw, revealing comments. And those readers’ comments became a launching point for this episode of “Becoming Whole.”Josh and Kit pick up where the comments left off. Listen is as we take a longer look at the statement, the blog post and the comments to carry on the conversation with just as much honesty and care.  If you are single, we hope this conversation sets up reasonable expectations about what marriage is and what it looks like.  And if you are married, our hope is this equips you to move forward with wisdom and awareness rather than fear or denial. Be sure to look to the Homework section for practical ways you can guard your heart and your marriage from infatuation confusion.Highlights:Infatuation is something that different people will experience in different times, in different waysThis is a common experience. Take a deep breath. Don’t overreact but pay attention.You’re noticing the ways your spouse ISN’T in the way you’d like them to be, more attentive to your emotions is getting to you a little bit more and so you’re more vulnerableHomework:If you notice an Unhealthy Attraction, here are some Guidelines:DON’T assume something is wrong with your marriage, in the sense that you need a new marriage.DON’T be caught by surprise.DON’T feed the attraction or the infatuation.When you notice an infatuation with someone other than your spouse; let it be a signpost pointing you towards something deeper going on in you.Good Guardrails during Vulnerable Times:TimeTalkTouchTextThoughtsTry to Actively Invest the 5 T’s in Your SpouseFind Space for FunResources/Extras:Gary Thomas - Best Selling author, International Speaker https://garythomas.com/2020/08/05/help-im-infatuated-with-someone-other-than-my-spouse/ “My experience indicates that most people become infatuated or fall in love with others an average of six times in the course of a long marriage.” - Avodah Offit in “The Sexual Self”Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWith no tools, no teams or projects, three men sit down on this episode to talk Friendship. Connection can typically be filed into a “Women Only” category. But, as you’ll hear from Josh, Matthew and Dan; men don’t just need but actually long for deep connection with each other. We hope you’ll listen to this honest conversation between men about men and come away with a better understating of this deep need.For our male listeners, hearing words put to buried feelings can help serve as a model of guys needing guys. For women, hearing men discuss connection and acknowledge a desire for brotherhood can help take the weight off your own relationship. Both men and women were made for community. The idea that men don’t need anyone leaves our husbands, fathers, sons, brothers feeling isolated and alone. Maybe this conversation will make you cringe.  That’s ok. We hope you don’t just shrug it off because building community among men is a vulnerable, courageous, necessary step to “Becoming Whole.”Highlights:I want to be seen I want to be known not based on what I do but who I am.That’s a huge ache and that’s in all of us, whether or not we can say it or not.Often times when someone is sharing their pain and you feel an instinct to help, to correct, to encourage; just check yourself there because what might be going on for themQuestions:When was the last time you Initiated with a guy friend?Resources/Extras:Jesus's closest friendsTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textPorn - this little word carries a heavy load of shame for some or maybe guilt for others.  What about when you find out your child has been viewing porn? Our offering for you is today is 10 Tips to help you navigate the path forward when you discover your child has been viewing porn.  Michelle Dunn - a Regeneration Team member and Therapist - joins Josh on the podcast to help us walk with our kids, not just as moms and dads, but also as allies in the world of sexuality.Everything we’re talking about on this episode HINGES on the relationship you have with your teen. Our hope is that we can take shame out of the conversation around porn. Don’t let the accusing voices in your head be louder than your child's voice. Pay attention, a pornography problem is usually a symptom of a deeper problem rather than the core problem itself. Listen in as Michelle and Josh coach us through adjusting our posture to be less fearful and more approachable. We pray this episode serves you as a guide so you can have difficult conversations in love and peace.Highlight:when somebody’s feeling shame it is not going to make the problem go away. In fact, it will almost draw the individual to the problematic behavior as a way of coping.It’s helpful for parents to accept reality, adjust your expectations, and not be afraid to be where you areGet curious. How did we end up here? And again, it’s not for the purpose of shaming. That’s not the reason we want to do it but we want to be curious.Homework:10 TIPS FOR PARENTS:1. ASK FOR HELP for yourself! Reach out to allies, friends, counselors, your pastor, so you can release.2. ACKNOWLEDGE the current relationship you have with your teen - great trust? Solid bond? Distant?3. ADDRESS the porn directly.4. AFFIRM honesty even when it feels like bad news.5. AVOID shame at all costs.6. ASK QUESTIONS and teach your kid to get curious too.7. ADJUST your lifestyle to respond to what you find out.8. ADDRESS your son's or daughter's overall health.9. ASSUME that even kids who want to stop may still struggle.10. ASK FOR HELP FOR YOUR CHILDFind a moment of privacy and with confidence directly address your child and the issue - be direct, tell them what you know.Be Aware: When or where are you tempted to look? What time of day? - the questions create boundaries to help your son or daughter to relieve temptationTreat the situation like a Fact-finding Mission or a Private investigation - be looking for clues NOT evidence to indict your son or daughter.If you and your child discover there’s a pattern or trigger, what can you adjust together?Where might your child need to learn to take better care of themselves emotionally, physically, spiritually, schedule?Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound RecordingFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThere’s a simple call for all of us who claim to be followers of Jesus: Love others.But when it comes to LGBTQ+ people, we can let fear and misunderstanding get in the way of that call.Do you feel clear about what the Bible says about homosexuality? What does discipleship look like for Christians who experience same-sex orientation? What are we calling them to?Today we talk with Dr. Preston Sprinkle, a biblical scholar and NY Times best-selling author with a ministry centered on faith, sexuality, and gender.  He tells us 83% of LGBTQ people were raised in the Christian Church and 51% leave by the time they turn 18. Why? They were alone and scared. Bad church experiences can push LGBTQ people out of churches. We can change that with love and kindness and grace.Everyone deserves dignity because they’re made in the image and likeness of God.That truth holds true for every LGBTQ+ person.Jesus came with grace and truth, and He surprised us all with how astonishingly kind he was…even when facing death. Will we follow?Join us for this important conversation.Guests:Dr. Preston Sprinkle is a biblical scholar, an international speaker, and a New York Times bestselling author. He earned a Ph.D. in New Testament from Aberdeen University in Scotland (2007), and he's been a professor of theology at Cedarville University (OH), has taught at Nottingham University (England), and Eternity Bible College (CA and ID).Highlights:We should be able to dignify the humanity of another person and be kind to them while holding true to our convictions, holding onto the Bible83% of LGBTQ people were raised in the Christian church. 51% leave by the time they turn 18.By avoiding the conversation, doesn’t mean the conversation isn’t happeningResources/Extras:“People to be Loved:  Why Homosexuality is Not Just an Issue” by Dr. Preston Sprinkle“Us versus Us: The Untold Story of Religion and the LGBT Community” by Andrew MarinTruly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30 will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life. -Mark 10:29-30https://www.centerforfaith.comTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textSingle: More than Un-MarriedWithin the church, it may feel like being married is the goal. While being single is reduced to being un-married. Checking one box and not another can lead to resentment. Within the church, there can and should be a way to bring all of our gifts together. “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.” (1 Corinthians 12:12) This episode is a deep dive between two people who have a lot in common as “members of the body”- both men, both in their 40’s, both love Jesus. Laurence Koo, our guest, is single. And Josh Glaser, our host, is married. We hope this conversation challenges you to challenge the misconceptions and encourages you to learn from each other’s unique roles. There is intimacy and fulfillment to be found in the community around us, regardless of which box you check. Let’s tear down the idols of marital status and start inviting people in.Highlights:We each have our own gift, even if we don’t want it. It’s a matter of state, not desire. I think that’s the first mistake that we made in church.We both have a prophetic calling in this culture in who we are as human beings. In both gifts, there is so much Christ's portrayal.Living in a fallen world means we will live with some level of unfulfillmentHomework:Ask yourself: How can I be more of a gift to my married friends? Single Friends? Take stock of Your Relational Health: Examine your Routines and Relationships to see how you are giving and receiving in your relationship.Extras/Resources:https://www.gardenofgods.com“7 Myths about Singleness” Sam Allberry "But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.” - 1 Corinthians 7:7 NLT 1 Corinthians 12 – Unity of the Members of Christ in One Body Five Levels of Intimacy: Spiritual intimacy – sharing deep, safe conversations Emotional - being vulnerable with my hurt and pain Social – enjoying the same activities, hobbies Physical – experiencing non-sexual touch Sexual – sexual closeness within a marriageTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textPower Parenting is possible!  It IS possible to have an actual conversation with your kids, even your teenagers. Michelle Dunn, a Counselor & coordinator of the Regeneration Ministries PG series for parents, is on the podcast offering tips on powerful parenting through topics such as school, sports, and even sex. Parents need to push past the anticipated eye roll or angsty attitude to keep connecting. As much as they pull away, moms and dads need to lean into their teen’s life, learn their interests, and ask questions. The big kids are not the only ones who need to learn how to do things differently. Parents need to shift and grow too.As you’ll learn in this episode, there’s more power in parenting from a place of relationship versus a place of dictatorship. Learn how to develop a real connection with your teenager. Listen for words like margin and agenda and comparison. Take it all in. You’ve got this.Highlights:Our kids are going to hear and get information from sources other than usIf we don’t have that relationship with them we miss out on the opportunity to influenceIf we’re only coming to our kids where we want to mold, shape, change their thinking and their behaviors; they’re going to be fatigued by thatHomework:Make Margin (room) in your day to talk with your teen about the difficult things. Don’t let fatigue keep you from engaging with your teen.Try having a conversation without an Agenda.Deal with your past: address your own sexual dysfunction, get help, don’t panic/freeze/avoidHow am I wired? How is my kid wired? What are we good at? Use that as your framework to move forward in building a relationship FREE of comparison. Be you and let your kid be him/herself.Outsource: Encourage them to connect with other peopleIdeal v reality: media, peers, family give us a picture of what it looks like to interact with our teens. Try not to be tricked into thinking that it’s always good and it’s supposed to look a certain way.Extras/Resources:https://www.regenerationministries.org/pg/Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textAbandoned & Shattered: these are the two words we hear most from those who’ve learned their spouse has been unfaithful. Vows that were spoken in front of friends and family are now shattered. And the shrapnel, the disorientation is hitting everyone you love. Where are you in the story? Are you feeling abandoned? Or Are you the one who did the shattering? We are here for you now. Join Regeneration Ministries Team Members - Josh, Kit, and Anne - for a wider look at infidelity and how to recover.The ground beneath you has been cracked open. Learning your marriage isn’t what you thought it was, is catastrophic. But, your marriage isn’t necessarily over. It will take work on both sides to rebuild from the trauma.  We hope this conversation equips and encourages you with two more words as you heal- Empathy and Hope.Highlights:there’s a greater recognition that what has happened here literally is a trauma because reality has been shakenEmpathy, as we’ve learned, is almost a game-changer in relationships. Empathy is like a window into somebody’s painIt’s hard to talk about with other people because it can compound that shame. Are they going to think that about me too?Homework:Use good eye contact, tone, body language - hold your spouse's pain.Would you tell me what it was like for you when you found out what I did? I want to hear because I want to understand. I’m sure I can’t understand but I want to hear from you, if you’ll let me when you’re ready.Don’t run away from the pain. Lean into the pain with God. Experience the pain and grief and hang onto the hope. Grieve what was while looking forward to what’s coming next.Hope Practice: How is our marriage going to look different?Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)