Becoming Whole

Send us a textOn this episode of “Becoming Whole,” Josh and Kit unpack a spirituality tool for you that may seem tiny but has huge benefits.  “The Examen” is a way to hit pause on your schedule to sift the day out. It’s a powerful habit developed by St. Ignatius of Loyola more than 500 years ago. Now more than ever, while our world glorifies busy-ness, hurriedness, loudness; the quiet slow of The Examen feels more than necessary. It may also feel counter-cultural and uncomfortable at times. And yet, the value of opening your eyes and your heart to being truly aware of the life before you can not be denied. We hope you’ll consider the structured quiet time to reflect and see the good and hard spots in your day to day. In the show notes, you’ll find different ways to incorporate The Examen as an intentional process in your precious life.Highlights:The Examen: It’s slowing down long enough to pay attention to those things and bring them to God and say, ‘What do I learn about myself from that?”The Examen: It’s a way to get at what’s going on in our lives in an intentional way and to reflect on it and to learn from itThe Examen reveals some of those moments are actually invitations from the Holy Spirit. It shows us God remembers the wounds of our lives, the patterns, the traumas, the disappointments; and wants to bring them to the surface to heal them.Homework:The EXAMEN: Pick a time of day, Set aside 5 minutes, Breathe, Pray, Ask the Holy Spirit to help you notice. The Examen Prayer Card from Ignatian SpiritualityLunchtime ExamenTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textRewind to a time in your past that was full of hurt, pain, wounding. Release, if you can, any feelings of shame and grief. As hard as it may be to believe; there is more to be found in your past wounding.In this episode of “Becoming Whole,” Josh and Kit explore the practice of rewinding to reveal the glory waiting in the wounding. This is not a practice of glossing over our pasts looking for the positives. We are loved by a God of redemption who has, yes, written glory even in your wounding. We hope you’ll accept this as an invitation to begin exploring the glory that is yours to claim, to take notice of the elements you never noticed before. Satan wants you to stay stuck, to be lost in rejection and shame. But God is waiting to give you more through the little version of you who endured so much. That version of you, who was hurt so long ago, deserves another look back to discover the way forward in healing and strength and God-given glory.Highlights:We’re opening ourselves to the glory that was ours in our past including in our wound stories.We need to see the glory and the strength of who we are, who we were, even in those moments.God is present in all the good and the negative. And the enemy wants us just to focus on, even in our healing, he wants us to focus on just the bad things that happened.Homework:Think back to a painful memory: What was the enemy going after in that moment? What does it say about you that you were able to endure all you walked through?Consider the story of The Woman at the well John 4:1-42. Who was the woman? What was her sin? How must she have felt getting water everyday apart from everyone else? Why would Jesus choose her? What did Jesus see in her? Where was the glory in her story?Extras:Find Jay Stringer OnlineTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textCan you recognize a destructive relationship? No relationship is perfect. But, we’re talking about more than just feeling disappointed. Can you tell the difference between a difficult relationship and one that is tearing you down? In this episode of “Becoming Whole,” Josh and Kit identify patterns to look for and unpack what they mean. Our deepest desire is to be known and loved. At a deep level then, you must be aware that something is not right. We hope this message puts some light on the truth about your relationships, the good and the bad. We hope you’ll learn what is healthy versus unhealthy. We hope you’ll be empowered to make change and move forward in health and reclaim your hope. (This conversation is inspired by “The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope” by Leslie Vernick. Please see the Homework and Extras section below for more)Highlights:Ask God for the truth, begin to switch them out, begin to change the narrativeWhen our spouse has a chronic indifference about who we are and what we need, that eats away at the very core of how we’re wired to be loved and known.Where there are lies or denial in a relationship, there’s really no foundation to build on.Homework:Five Patterns (repetitive, characterized by a lack of remorse)Reactive Abuse: Physical, Sexual, Spiritual, Economical, or VerbalGross imbalance of power and control with an attitude of entitlementChronic deceitChronic dependencyChronic indifferenceWays to Embrace Change (begin with what’s my part and owning it). And then:Refuse to keep secretsReach out and Get SupportPrayer - talk to God about what’s going onName what scares youIdentify lies and replace them with corresponding truthEXTRAS“The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope” By Leslie VernickTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThe Power Stance - feet apart, chest out, arms at your side. The pose is meant to inspire your own sense of confidence while giving others the idea you are powerful. The issue goes deeper than a perception though. And in this episode, Josh and Dan take a look at the past for where the Power Issues lie. When it comes to men and their unwanted sexual behaviors, power, or lack thereof, can point to the patterns we want to overcome. Listen in for a better understanding of what power is all about.  If we’re hoping to recover from an addiction, the affair, cycles of abuse; we have to identify our the power issue in our story. Let’s take a step back in order to move towards becoming the empowered man with purpose and intentionality you are meant to be.Highlights:Any power that Jesus wielded, he wielded for the sake of others. He used his power, recognized his power was a tool for the sake of love. That’s our goal.We need others that are on this journey with us to give us the courage to move towards another and to speak into something to have Christ like influence or power in a situationJesus is the picture of someone who has power, who could use power but willingly lays it down - That’s a place we’re invited to come from.Homework:Gateway Questions to Understanding Power:What have your experiences with power been?Who had power in your life and how did they yield that power? Was it a gift to you? Was it a threat to you?What is it a harm to you?What kind of influence do I have over my environment?Realms of Power:The Over-Powering Man:  misuses/abuses powerThe Dis-Empowered Man: has issues with exerting whatever strength, influence, voice he’s supposed to have in his world.Being Empowered Men with voice, substance, agency in the world.Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textExpectations for how the holidays should be were even more upside down this year because 2020. The usual anticipation we all feel leading up to Christmas has come and gone.Now what? Hope.Beyond expectation and anticipation, there is Hope. The very virtue of Hope is living in the present moment with the validation of a close, attentive God covering your life. Listen in for how and why you need to invite God into your hopes and then take notice.We pray you’ll be encouraged to train your eyes to be aware of the ways God is moving, train your heart to share all your hopes with God and train your mind to release your cares to Him.It’s hard work.When you can see the ways God is moving and revealing himself to you; that leads to a life filled with Hope. Join us.Highlights:His goodness is bigger than this present moment.Are we willing to release our grip on the specifics of what we’re hoping for?We hold so tightly to the specific thing, this is what I want for Christmas. This is what I want for the new year. That we can miss the gifts God is giving and the deeper longings that he wants to tend to in us.Homework:“Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God (Spiritual Journey)” by Ruth Haley Barton “The Treasury of David” by Charles Spurgeon Psalm 91“It is not because we are perfect or highly esteemed among men that we can hope for shelter in the day of evil but because our refuge is the eternal God, and our faith has learned to hide beneath His sheltering wing.”“It is impossible that any evil should happen to the man who is beloved of the Lord. The most crushing calamities can only shorten his journey and hasten him to his reward. Ill to him is no ill but only good in a mysterious form. Losses enrich him, sickness is his medicine, reproach is his honor, death is his gain. No evil, in the strict sense of the word, can happen to him, for everything is over-ruled for good. Happy is he who is in such a case. He is secure when others are in peril. He lives where others die.”Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textIt’s the most wonderful time of the year. It's the reason for the season. Is it though?Feels more like ’tis the season for unmet expectations. Combine those unmet expectations with Covid restrictions and it feels even more difficult to find reason for our weary world to rejoice.Whatever hurt you’re facing - loss, grief, financial struggles or isolation - it hurts even deeper around this tender part of the year. Without the usual bustle of holiday parties and traditions; it may feel easier to numb out. Rather than running away from the pain, hit play and listen in. This Christmas episode of “Becoming Whole”  offers a deeper way to understand the reason for the season.Highlights:And yet, I think this year offers us a real opportunity especially as we’re all in this together to face the reality, to wrestle with the reality, to be mindful of the reality that this is precisely why Jesus came.You who are suffering, you are the reason for the season.You who are sinning, and wrestling to get free; you are the reason for the season.You who are lonely; you are the reason for the season.You are why I came. -JesusThere is great cause for celebration. Even in our soberness and sadness and loss and whatever else is going on; there is light.He came for me for this loneliness, for this sadness.Homework:Willingness versus Willfulness: Willfulness fixates on the expected outcome, circumstance or person. Willingness focuses on Jesus.Try praying: “Help me to fix my eyes on you Jesus and not on an outcome or expectation. Help me bring myself fully to you. Give me eyes to see what you’ll show me. I accept your invitation in love.”Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThis short episode is packed. We encourage you to listen, then let it all settle in and listen again. Josh and Kit unpack a lot on the big topic of Expectation vs Hope in a little amount of time. There’s a lot to process here on the definitions of both concepts. When you were little, you were probably taught a happiness equation suggesting “Life’s going to be great as long as you (fill in the blank).”  But, that equation subtracts the realistic bumps (or worse) in the road. This conversation challenges that idea while exploring Expectations and Hope in relation to your contentment. Change the narrative and invite God into life, whatever it brings.Highlights:Things are going to be challenging and things are going to go in ways you don’t expect. God will meet you there. What if you were told that as a young person?Hope in God is not in the specific end that I might expect or anticipate or be working towards; but it’s in a Sovereign God.HOPE: I surrender the control of the specifics that have to be so in order for me to be satisfied.Homework:Pray and LISTEN for what God has for your life. Pray with these questions:What does Hope look like in my life?How do You want me to be thinking about the expectations I have in my life?How do You want me to be thinking about Hope?Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textAbuse, Divorce, Loss, this Pandemic; Trauma comes in many shapes. You may still be figuring out all the ways trauma has left its mark. Trauma may have impacted your ability to build healthy relationships. The memory of your past trauma may still haunt your present day. The common denominator in all this is YOU. Our offering, in this podcast, is a look at how you can help you.Josh and Kit dive into the topic of Self-Kindness and Attachment Repair. Being kind to yourself plays a significant role in how you heal - heart, mind and body.  You’ll hear how important it is for you to pay attention to your emotions and how to lean into them with God. You feel emotions in your body. And, you have a God who knows what a hurting heart, a stabbing headache and that pit in your stomach feels like - you have Jesus. We’ve provided a list of valuable resources below. Also, look in the “Homework” section and consider printing out or writing out the Affirmations on note cards and placing them around your home. You are powerful. Right now, your power rests in being kind to you. Listen in.Highlights:The concept of Self-Compassion is a vital part of healing.There are physiological, emotional and spiritual things that happen as we learn to be self-compassionate in our places of wounding.Taking care of yourself is not selfish. When you take care of yourself and receive the love that God has for you, you become a person who cares and loves better.Homework:AFFIRMATIONS OF SELF-KINDNESSI am capableIt’s okay to disappoint peopleI have choicesI can set boundariesI am loved no matter whatI am valuableI can ask for supportIt’s okay to need helpMy emotions give me informationMy body supports meI’m responsible for only myselfIt’s okay to take care of myselfThis emotion is temporaryI am belovedResources/Extras:Jay StringerWhy Emotions Matter by Jon and Tristen CollinsDr. Patrick Carnes“Try Softer:A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy” by Aundi KolberTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThe practice of Solitude is...A.  Not possibleB.  Scary C.  Inviting D.  All of the Above In the busy-ness of life right now, this is the episode for you.  Josh and Kit are exploring how the practice of hitting pause is vital to living your life. We’re going to define the spiritual discipline of Solitude and ways you can move towards it.We hope you’ll understand how to set realistic expectations for yourself so you can begin where you are with what you have.Rather than wait until you’ve got it all together; show up with what you’ve got. God, ever-present and always patient, is waiting in the stillness as you take this step towards “Becoming Whole.”Highlights:Solitude is a meaningful time, an intimate time to be honest and vulnerable with yourself and with God about the things that are going on in your life.It is an intentional way to move away from the front lines of life and to just be with God.It is a comfort. It is a power. It is learning how to be present with yourself and with God.Homework:Remember, the way you practice Solitude is between you and God. Pick a time of day, an amount of time and a place that work for you. Release expectations of how it should feel and just invite God in.Simple Invitational Prayer: “Come Lord Jesus” Revelation 22:20Extras:“In one of the very earliest training workshops led by Father Thomas Keating himself, a nun tried out her first twenty-minute taste of Centering Prayer and then lamented, ‘Oh, Father Thomas, I’m such a failure at this prayer. In twenty minutes I’ve had ten thousand thoughts!’“How lovely,” responded Keating, without missing a beat. “Ten thousand opportunities to return to God.”Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Support Becoming WholeFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWhere are you experiencing fear right now? What scares you most? Maybe it’s something that haunts you from your past. Maybe it’s the idea of a potential outcome in the future. Josh and Kit are exploring a new approach. Instead of trying to escape fear, numb fear or minimize fear - today, we’re going to face fear. You can do this. Facing your fear is a power move to pull back some of that control you normally give it. The rabbit hole of “what if’s” pulls your brain down a long, dark drop of doom. Your past can sneak up on you, trapping you.The present - right here and right now - We’re talking about trying something very different. Don’t deny fear. Don’t drown in fear. Today, your next step to becoming whole is Facing your Fear. Listen in.Highlights:Our fears want to be heldIt’s a present moment experience of instead of panicking and focusing on what if or if only’s you’re present.You’re present. You’re inviting God in in that moment. You’re trusting that God is with you and that He’s present and that He’s going to hold this fear with you.Homework:In the moment you’re feeling fear, try GROUNDING: stay still, feet on the ground, pay attention your breath and notice what you are smelling, seeing, hearing, feeling.Pray this prayer: “Father,I abandon myself into your hands;do with me what you will.Whatever you may do, I thank you:I am ready for all, I accept all.Let only your will be done in me,and in all your creatures -I wish no more than this, O Lord.Into your hands I commend my soul:I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself,to surrender myself into your hands without reserve,and with boundless confidence,for you are my Father.~Charles de FoucauldExtras:“The thing that frightens us just wants to be held” - Mark Nepo“The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them. He would therefore have them continually concerned either with eternity (which means being concerned with Him) or with the Present — either meditating on their eternal union with, or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure.” The Screwtape Letters C.S. LewisTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereOriginal music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)