The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

One way we can support the siblings of kids with big, baffling behaviors is to teach them about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some way to understand the brain and behaviors) as well as to teach them about nervous system vulnerabilities and ‘overactive’ watchdog and possum brains!In this episode, you’ll learnSteps to take when teaching siblings about owls, watchdogs, and possums so they won’t feel like you’re just excusing bad behaviorThe importance of validating your kids’ experience that the way you parent their sibling is unfairA couple scripts for talking to your children about their sibling’s watchdog and possum brain (available on my website by CLICKING HERE)Resources mentioned in this podcast:Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting {EP 186}Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {EP 114}My Child Won't Talk About Their Watchdog and Possum Brain {EP 160}EVERYONE Has A Watchdog And Possum Brain! {EP 178}Is Understand Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}Enabling Vrs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/teachsiblingsApplications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Do you have kids who feel like the way you parent their sibling (the one with the worst behavior!!!) is unfair?We’ll be tackling different topics on how to support siblings over the next month.In this episode, you’ll learnThe five things to consider when thinking about how to help siblings understand ‘unfair’ parentingAre you parenting all your kids thru the lens of regulation, connection, and felt safety?Do all your children know about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some other way to understand the brain and conceptualize behaviors)Do your school-age and older child understand vulnerable nervous systems and sensitized stress response systems (overactive watchdog and possum brains)Do your children (siblings of kids with special needs) feel really, truly seen by you?Is this actually more about unresolved grief (yours and/or theirs)Resources mentioned in this podcast:Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}Stress Response System {EP 94}What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean {122}Grief in Parenting Kids with a Vulnerable Nervous System {EP 129}Can I teach my kids about their brain? {EP 114}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/unfairApplications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Something new and unexpected here on The Baffling Behavior Show!This episode is actually from the Therapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley. Sue and Ann interviewed one of y'alls FAVORITES- Juliane Taylor Shore.Juliane was on The Baffling Behavior Show a long time ago, talking about psychological boundaries and verbal aggression. This is one of my most played episodes EVER.Juliane just published a new book on boundaries so when Sue and Ann asked if I wanted to do a podcast feed swap, I knew y'all would LOVE to hear from Juliane.In this episode, you'll hear Sue and Ann interview Juliane all about Setting Boundaries that Stick. Resources mentioned in this podcast:Setting Boundaries that Stick by Juliane Taylor ShoreTherapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann KelleyBoundaries with Verbal Aggression podcast episode #115 with Juliane Taylor Shore Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/boundariesthatstickApplications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Parents of kids with baffling behaviors are CONSTANTLY being judged by others.How do we get to a point where we don’t care as much about what other people think?In this episode, we’ll explore:Some of the most common judgments that parents of kids with baffling behaviors receiveHow it’s actually not possible to not care at all, but we can care LESSThree things we can do so that the judgment from others doesn’t impact us as much as it does nowFor a script on how to set boundaries with folks expressing judgment, go to: https://RobynGobbel.com/notcareResources mentioned in this podcast:How Self-Compassion Changed Things For This Mom {EP 78}Influence Behaviors, Not Control {EP 101}Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}Boundaries With Verbal Aggression With Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}Secure Relating With Guests Sue & Ann From Therapist Uncensored {EP 175}Juliane's Book! : Setting Boundaries That StickRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/notcareApplications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Discover the powerful connection between self-acceptance and behavioral change. Dive into personal stories intertwined with neuroscience, illustrating how embracing oneself leads to transformation. Explore the balance of acceptance and the desire for growth, and learn how mindfulness can enhance relationships. Gain insights on fostering trust and safety in parenting, essential for effectively addressing children's challenging behaviors. Experience empowerment through acceptance, making the change both possible and liberating.

Do the Watchdog and Possum pathway only activate in protection mode? Are they always protective?NO! It is possible to have safe and connected Watchdog energy and safe and connected Possum energy!Why does this distinction matter?In this episode, you’ll learnWhat safe and connected watchdog energy feels likeWhat safe and connected possum energy feels likeWhy it’s important to remember we aren’t trying to get rid of the watchdog or the possum- we are trying to help them rest and only work hard when they need toResources mentioned in this podcast:Trauma Behavior? Or Just Acting Up? {EP 30}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/alwaysprotectiveApplications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What does my child need for their success to be inevitable?If I wanted to paint the top of a 20 foot wall, I’d rent some scaffolding.  Scaffolding makes the floor higher and would get me as close to the top of the wall as I needed.  The scaffolding would help make my success inevitable.  It’s not the only thing I need to be successful (paint would come in handy!), but it’s a really important piece.  In parenting, scaffolding is the support that we put in place that allows our children to be successful.  Then, slowly, thoughtful, and sequentially, we decrease the amount of external support needed as our children develop that capacity to be successful on their own.Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ScaffoldingApplications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Janet Nordine is a registered play therapist, adoptee, and mental health activist working tirelessly to improve children’s mental health services, specifically in the state of Nevada. Janet has an important message for adoptees that I think is relevant to all kids and families who are supporting kids with vulnerable nervous systems:There is nothing wrong with you. You’ve done nothing wrong. You can be OK.In this episode, exploreHow to help create ‘good parent messages’ for children who feel unloved and unwantedSitting with two conflicting feelings at once The benefits of falling in love with yourselfResources mentioned in this podcast:Children’s Mental Wellness Symposium- Las Vegas NVSeptember 26 - 29, 2024Details and registration here: https://lasvegasplaytherapy.com/Good Morning, I Love You by Dr. Shauna ShapiroRead the full transcript at: https://RobynGobbel.com/NothingWrongApplications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences.  At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned, regulated, present caregiver.  If children are struggling to use their self-regulation skills, it’s quite possible that they aren’t regulated enough to access those skills.  They are getting dysregulated too quickly and need co-regulation before they can be expected to use skills on their own.  It is these experiences of coregulation that build the neural circuity for what is ultimately labeled self-regulation...so you don’t need to worry that the continued offering of co-regulation will impede the development of self-regulation- it’s exactly the opposite!!!Humans never outgrow their need for co-regulation!  We all need connection and co-regulation!  Which is exactly why I've created The Club- a virtual community for parents of kids impacted by trauma!CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members!Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Discover the concept of 'connected responses' to challenging child behaviors and how to support emotional needs effectively. Learn the importance of co-regulation over punishment, along with strategies that honor both boundaries and emotional experiences. The discussion emphasizes understanding the root causes of behaviors, making for a thought-provoking exploration of parenting dynamics after trauma. Plus, get details on a free webinar that connects these ideas to real-life parenting challenges!