The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

This episode originally aired on December 22, 2020, episode 8:::I love love love talking about self-compassion for two main reasons.  #1- Self-Compassion is solidly anchored in the relational neurosciences- and you know how much I love...and need...for things to be anchored in science.  #2- Self-compassion has tenacity.  There's no way out.  Self-compassion has an answer for all your reasons why you aren't worthy of self-compassion.  I love that about self-compassion (probably because people describe me as tenacious- especially, relationally). In this episode, we will explore the science of self-compassion.  We'll look at why compassion is the neurobiology of change.  Why you deserve compassion.  Why compassion is how the brain heals and changes.  Compassion can feel risky- and I'll give you the science that might help you feel safe enough to take the vulnerable step toward self-compassion.To read more about self-compassion, visit robyngobbel.com/selfcompassionMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Can you feel better even if nothing changes around you? The discussion delves into shifting out of chronic protection mode, leading to improved emotional well-being. Discover the concept of three 'buckets of safety' and how connection can enhance resilience amidst chaos. Listeners learn to appreciate small moments of joy, like a beautiful spring day, which can foster a sense of safety. Insights into neuroscience reveal how co-regulation plays a vital role in managing stress, even when circumstances remain challenging.

This episode originally aired on September 20th, 2022Another important piece of understanding what is underneath your child's big, baffling behaviors is the Stress Response System. Our Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors.In this episode, you’ll learn:What stress is and how to differentiate good stress from bad stressThe impact of trauma and toxic stress to the Stress Response SystemHow to build resilience in a sensitized Stress Response SystemA reframe to shift your own Stress Response System Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/stressresponse/Check out my recent series on Building the Foundation of the Brain mentioned in this podcast HEREOver on my website you can find:Video series and ebook Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors (FREE)What Behavior Really Is: Video Series & eBook (FREE)Brilliance of Attachment: eBook (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Settle in for a fun and inspiring chat with hosts from Therapist Uncensored and authors of the new release Secure Relating, Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley.In this episode, you’ll learnHow responding to our children’s (and partner’s) needs in the present moment, instead of from a place of anxious or avoidant states, can improve our relationshipsAbout the intersection of attachment and trauma in our systems of care- like the child welfare and mental health systemsHow much hope there is when we shift to looking at attachment in the here and now instead of based on our historiesResources mentioned in this podcast:Ann and Sue's Podcast! - therapistuncensored.comPre-order a copy of Secure Relating!Secure Relating Online Launch! - therapistuncensored.com/upcoming_events/Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/securerelatingFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This episode originally aired on August 1st, 2023Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering demands - a strategy that can bolster your child’s stress response system.In this episode you'll learn:The importance of being self-attuned to what's hard vs. too hardHow to determine between lowering demands for your own comfort and doing it because it is genuinely too arduous for your childThe difference between enabling/codependent behaviors and co-regulationResources mentioned in this podcast:Connection or Protection??? {7}What to do after We Mess up {80}Stress Response System {94}Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/EnablingFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Discover the struggle of maintaining connection with a child who's resistant to it. Shift your focus away from them and think about who can support you instead. Explore the importance of self-connection and nurturing relationships with others. Learn practical strategies for fostering connections amid dysregulation. Mindfulness and self-compassion play crucial roles in this journey, while unexpected lessons, like glitter boots, reveal how giving and receiving connection can be deeply interlinked.

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Connected kids can behave unexpectedly, often choosing to be uncooperative. The podcast explores how a child’s uncooperativeness can reflect their temperament and desire for independence. It emphasizes the importance of creating a safe environment for self-expression and personal growth. Interestingly, too much cooperation may not be beneficial. By focusing on co-regulation and connection, parents can help their kids better understand themselves and navigate their emotions.

This is NOT an episode about how to make your kid go to school. What you WILL learn in this episode:What is pathological demand avoidance, or PDA?Schools valuing attendance above all is not helpfulYou are a good parent even if your kid doesn’t go to schoolThat sometimes, all we have to do is be niceResources mentioned in this podcast:Can’t Not Won’t by Eliza FrickerThe Family Experience of PDA by Eliza FrickerThe Educator's Experience of PDA by Eliza FrickerHow to Connect with Eliza Fricker:WebsiteFacebookInstagramTwitterRead a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/SchoolRefusalOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

The question of ‘can I heal’ or 'can my child heal' or ‘how do I (or my child) heal’ is a tricky one. Healing is a word that gets used a lot without really pausing to ask ourselves what it actually means. If we are aiming for a nebulous goal that hasn’t been defined, it will feel impossible to reach. Impossible tasks often feel hopeless.In this episode, you’ll learnWhy it’s most useful to stay focused on widening our window of stress toleranceHow co-regulation contributes to healingHow memory relates to trauma symptoms and healingResources mentioned in this podcast:What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}Scaffolding Is A Form Of Co-Regulation {Ep 82}Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {EP 155}Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 {EP 161}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/healFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith