The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Discover the powerful connection between self-acceptance and behavioral change. Dive into personal stories intertwined with neuroscience, illustrating how embracing oneself leads to transformation. Explore the balance of acceptance and the desire for growth, and learn how mindfulness can enhance relationships. Gain insights on fostering trust and safety in parenting, essential for effectively addressing children's challenging behaviors. Experience empowerment through acceptance, making the change both possible and liberating.

Do the Watchdog and Possum pathway only activate in protection mode? Are they always protective?NO! It is possible to have safe and connected Watchdog energy and safe and connected Possum energy!Why does this distinction matter?In this episode, you’ll learnWhat safe and connected watchdog energy feels likeWhat safe and connected possum energy feels likeWhy it’s important to remember we aren’t trying to get rid of the watchdog or the possum- we are trying to help them rest and only work hard when they need toResources mentioned in this podcast:Trauma Behavior? Or Just Acting Up? {EP 30}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/alwaysprotectiveFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What does my child need for their success to be inevitable?If I wanted to paint the top of a 20 foot wall, I’d rent some scaffolding.  Scaffolding makes the floor higher and would get me as close to the top of the wall as I needed.  The scaffolding would help make my success inevitable.  It’s not the only thing I need to be successful (paint would come in handy!), but it’s a really important piece.  In parenting, scaffolding is the support that we put in place that allows our children to be successful.  Then, slowly, thoughtful, and sequentially, we decrease the amount of external support needed as our children develop that capacity to be successful on their own.Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ScaffoldingFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Janet Nordine is a registered play therapist, adoptee, and mental health activist working tirelessly to improve children’s mental health services, specifically in the state of Nevada. Janet has an important message for adoptees that I think is relevant to all kids and families who are supporting kids with vulnerable nervous systems:There is nothing wrong with you. You’ve done nothing wrong. You can be OK.In this episode, exploreHow to help create ‘good parent messages’ for children who feel unloved and unwantedSitting with two conflicting feelings at once The benefits of falling in love with yourselfResources mentioned in this podcast:Children’s Mental Wellness Symposium- Las Vegas NVSeptember 26 - 29, 2024Details and registration here: https://lasvegasplaytherapy.com/Good Morning, I Love You by Dr. Shauna ShapiroRead the full transcript at: https://RobynGobbel.com/NothingWrongFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences.  At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned, regulated, present caregiver.  If children are struggling to use their self-regulation skills, it’s quite possible that they aren’t regulated enough to access those skills.  They are getting dysregulated too quickly and need co-regulation before they can be expected to use skills on their own.  It is these experiences of coregulation that build the neural circuity for what is ultimately labeled self-regulation...so you don’t need to worry that the continued offering of co-regulation will impede the development of self-regulation- it’s exactly the opposite!!!Humans never outgrow their need for co-regulation!  We all need connection and co-regulation!  Which is exactly why I've created The Club- a virtual community for parents of kids impacted by trauma!CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members!Follow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Discover the concept of 'connected responses' to challenging child behaviors and how to support emotional needs effectively. Learn the importance of co-regulation over punishment, along with strategies that honor both boundaries and emotional experiences. The discussion emphasizes understanding the root causes of behaviors, making for a thought-provoking exploration of parenting dynamics after trauma. Plus, get details on a free webinar that connects these ideas to real-life parenting challenges!

It’s normal and common for stress and dysregulation to cause kids to act younger than they really are. This happens to grown-ups too! Simply because it’s normal and common doesn’t mean it’s not very frustrating!In this episode, you’ll learn A neurosequential explanation for regressionHow to use regression as a cue or a clue about the state of your child’s nervous systemWays to respond to regressed behavior that may increase regulation, connection, and felt safetyResources mentioned in this podcast:A NueroDevelopmental Approach: Right Intervention, Right Time {EP 47}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/regressionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I’m sure you often feel like ‘getting your kid regulated’ is a very important goal!But- is it? Is regulated the goal? And is it possible to even consider these kinds of questions when we are parenting very dysregulated kids with very dangerous behaviors?In this episode, you’ll learnThe difference between a moment of being regulated and having a regulated (balanced) nervous systemHow regulation and dysregulation must coexistWhy thinking about any of this high-level stuff when you have REAL PROBLEMS TO REALLY ADDRESS can be helpfulResources mentioned in this podcast:Regulated Does Not Equal Calm https://RobynGobbel.com/lisadionRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/regulatedthegoalFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Believe it or not, we don’t want to get rid of our kids’ watchdog and possum brains!We want to help their watchdog and possum brain rest so they aren’t working so hard.Their watchdog and possum brains are overworked and overactive.In this episode, you’ll learnWhy we must remember that everyone has a watchdog and possum brainHow gratitude and acceptance of the watchdog and possum brain strengthens the owl brainWe don’t want to get rid of our children’s watchdog and possums brains- we want to help them restResources mentioned in this podcast:What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean? {EP 122}Connection Or Protection??? {EP 7}Stress Response System {EP 94}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/everyoneFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

When I work with parents whose child spends a lot of time on the possum pathway, I warn them that sometimes possum kids become watchdog kids before the finally have a nice, strong owl brain.Because watchdog behaviors are often more intense and scarier than possum behaviors, this can feel like your child is ‘getting worse.’It’s actually a sign of healing, and here’s why!In this episode, you’ll learnWhy kids who have a lot of possum behavior can sometimes become kids who have a lot of watchdog behaviorWhy this phenomenon usually means there is progress and healing happeningWhy sometimes kids move from possum behaviors to owl behaviors without having watchdog behaviorsRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/possumsbecomewatchdogsFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMaking Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith