The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Consequences. Punishments. Limits. Boundaries.These words don't mean the same thing but we often use them interchangeably.In this episode, we get clear on what exactly is a consequence versus a punishment versus a boundary.And how parenting through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety is absolutely not boundary-less or permissive parenting.  It's a way of looking at our kids and asking "What does my child need to be successful?" and then giving them that. It definitely isn't about making sure our kids are always happy or never frustrated or we always say yes.It's about changing the lens on how we view their expressions of emotions and behaviors.And yes- it's about setting boundaries that keep our kids safe and help their brains develop the internalized co-regulation (self-regulation!) they need!In this episode, I reference a LOT of other episodes.Has Trauma Informed Become a Behavior Modification Technique?What’s Regulation Got to do With itFocus on Arousal not BehaviorConnection can’t not workWe are Always Searching and Yearning for ConnectionFelt Safety- what’s that?Connection or ProtectionWhat Behavior Really Is- free video series masterclassThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

JD Wilson- dad and host of the Empowered to Connect Podcast- believed that his reputation as a 'legend' when he was baby-sitting other people's kids meant he'd be a rock star parent.Then he actually became a parent :) and we all know how that went!  JD and his wife turned to connected parenting because they didn’t know what else to do.  Their tools weren’t working, the way that they were parented weren’t working, and he wanted to learn a different way.It wasn’t easy.  In fact, JD said “for the first couple years of shifting our parenting, it felt like we were running through a swamp.”  It was just so hard to actually put the connected parenting ideals into practice.  JD bravely, boldly, humbly, and humorously shares his journey from spankings to being the co-host of a connected parenting podcast, working and supporting other parents who are also making the journey from punitive to connection based parenting both through the podcast and his work at Memphis Family Connection Center.We're keeping it real here today, and I hope you love JD and his story as much as I do.If you'd like to read a thorough summary of episode, CLICK HERE.You can find the Empowered to Connect podcast here: https://empoweredtoconnect.org/podcast/ or simply search for Empowered to Connect wherever you listen to podcasts!The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Trauma Informed Care was my introduction to a new model on behavior.  A model that went past the behaviorist lens, a model that encouraged us to look way beyond the behavior and get curious about what was driving the behavior. Trauma informed approaches aren't just good for kids with a history of trauma.Truly being trauma informed means connecting with what it means to be human- and then understanding the impact of trauma on top of that.I’ve worried about-- and even gotten some feedback-- that I’m unintentionally minimizing the impact of trauma by first focusing on the neurobiology of being human.Laying trauma-informed principles on top of the neurobiology of being human is how we truly recognize and honor the impact of trauma.What if without first understanding the neurobiology of being human, trauma informed care is reduced to behavior management techniques? To be truly trauma informed, we have to go beyond trauma informed.  We have to be willing to turn upside our beliefs, and the systems in which we’ve built those beliefs, about what it means to be human. If you'd rather, you can read an article instead of listening to the podcast here: https://robyngobbel.com/traumainformedMore ways to move beyond trauma informed:Engaging the Body: Working with Dysregulated Kids is an eight-hour virtual training for professionals (of any kind!) eager to bring movement and body-based experiences intentionally into their work with clients.  I’ve adapted my previously always-sold-out training for play therapists to be applicable to a wider range of professionals and decided to offer it virtually one last time.CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new membersThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

"Therapeutic moments can be brief and ideally are spread throughout your whole week—it’s not just about one hour a week with the therapist."  Dr. Bruce PerryWhat if kids (and families!) could get what they need from moments of healing spread throughout their entire week instead of in one hour a week in the therapist's office?  I think we can!  We should. We must.This series on Strengthening the Foundation of the Brain has been all about exactly that.  Finding moments of healing and leaning in. Whether your a parent or professional, this episode will help you develop a keen eye for noticing moments as they arise and how profoundly this work can shift when we remind parents exactly how impact they are are.Would you rather read this episode in a blog post instead of listening on the podcast?  Head to https://robyngobbel.com/momentsofhealing More about Moments of Healing that are Rhythmic, Repetitive, Relational, and SomatosensoryEngaging the Body: Working with Dysregulated Kids is an eight-hour virtual training for professionals (of any kind!) eager to bring movement and body-based experiences intentionally into their work with clients.  I’ve adapted my previously always-sold-out training for play therapists to be applicable to a wider range of professionals and decided to offer it virtually one last time.CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new membersThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Marti Smith, an occupational therapist and trauma specialist, dives deep into the connection between brain function and child behavior. She discusses a holistic approach to therapy that focuses on the neuroscience behind actions, advocating for movement and play as essential tools for communication. Marti emphasizes the importance of building strong, stable foundations in mental health treatment, involving families in the therapy process, and fostering collaboration among professionals to effectively support children affected by trauma.

My guest on this week’s podcast is Michael Remole, a mental health therapist in Central Illinois who integrates trauma-informed equine assisted psychotherapy into his work with clients.A horse-lover since childhood, Michael was working on his master’s degree in counseling when he realized he could integrate his love for horses with his passion for working with people who had experienced trauma.  Michael is now the COO and Director of Clinical Services at Gateway Family Services.  He is trained in Natural Lifemanship as well as Dr. Bruce Perry’s Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics, which is focused on strengthening the foundation of the brain- especially the brainstem and diencephalon.  Michael is also the founder and director of the Rising Tide Conference.Michael kicks of the conversation by talking about how the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics provides a roadmap of brain development.  According to the NMT, if we to help strengthen the brain (ourselves, our clients, or our children’s brain), we have to connect with the part of the brain that’s online in that moment.   Michael stated that if he wants to connect to a horse – or human!- who is operating from the lowest part of it’s brain in a fight or flight response, Michael has to “speak the language of the brainstem”, which is rhythmic, patterned, and repetitive sensory input.  While he’s working with horses, that could translate into how is swinging a rope or patting his legs- in a rhythmic, patterned, repetitive, sensory input.When horses are in survival-mode, they have a very difficult time accessing their ‘thinking’ parts of the brain.  They need humans to be predictable as a way to communicate safety!This, of course, is true of humans, too.Connect withThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Mandy Jones, the Program Director of The Theraplay Institute in Chicago, is a dedicated therapist who specializes in enhancing parent-child relationships. In this discussion, she dives into Theraplay, a unique approach that focuses on healing through connection. Mandy highlights the vital dimensions of structure, engagement, nurture, and challenge in fostering strong bonds. She also addresses the significance of attunement in understanding children's cues and shares insights on nurturing behaviors that support child development and resilience.

Dive into the fascinating world of the brainstem, the foundation of our nervous system! Discover how rhythmic and relational experiences can heal and nurture its development, especially in children affected by trauma. Learn about the automatic functions it oversees, from heart rate to energy regulation, and the importance of connection in parenting. This discussion reveals the often-overlooked link between behavior and the brainstem, offering insightful perspectives for parents navigating complex emotional landscapes.

Melissa Corkum, co-founder of The Adoption Connection Podcast and an adoptive mom, shares her expertise on the Safe and Sound Protocol, a tool designed to enhance emotional safety for children. She discusses the neuroception system and how sound cues contribute to feelings of security, especially for those affected by trauma. Melissa also reflects on her personal journey as an adoptee, highlighting the importance of understanding behavior through neurological lenses. Unpacking practical strategies for parenting, she emphasizes community support and innovative approaches for fostering connection.

The podcast explores a neurodevelopmental approach to parenting after trauma. It discusses brain science, attachment, relational neurosciences, and the role of the autonomic nervous system in behavior. The speaker emphasizes the importance of practical tools, co-regulation, and therapeutic moments, and introduces upcoming content in 'The Club' focused on strengthening the foundation of the brain.