The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Amy Stoeber is a clinical psychologist in the Portland, OR area.  She has a small private practice where she works with kids and families who have a history of trauma and toxic stress.  Amy also trains medical professionals on recognizing trauma in their patients and families, and then helps them know how to support the building of strong thriving families and resilient children.Amy is at the forefront of shifting the conversation around trauma away from “What’s wrong with you?” and toward the important conversation on resilience. As families and professionals develop an understanding of Adverse Childhood Experiences and then a broader understanding of the impact of trauma and toxic stress, the conversation is beginning to focus more on the question of “now what?”  How do we promote resilience in children to mitigate the impact of trauma?That's exactly what Amy and I talk about in today's episode!For a longer summary of the interview, head over to my blog at https://robyngobbel.com/amystoeberYou can learn more about Amy Stoeber over at:Doctoramyllc.comInstagram @doctoramyllcFacebook @doctoramyllcThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

“Life is messy. Parenting is messy.  Cooking is messy.  But if we do it together, we are creating experiences of togetherness with our children that teaches them they are safe, loved, and empowered.”   Social media might be good for something after all- like meeting really neat people like Chef Kibby from Cookin’ With Kibby.Kibby is a professional chef and has been teaching culinary skills to others for many many years.  He’s also a dad to his biological, adopted, and foster kids.  Kibby has shifted his professional life to be supporting foster and adoptive families with what has got to be, from my very non-scientific way I collect data, difficulties: FOOD.The families I work with almost always have an undercurrent of energy around food and feeding.  Sometimes it’s not just an undercurrent- it’s the primary, biggest challenge.  There’s just so much that goes into food and feeding. Our own history, societal messages about parenting, subtle and not-so-subtle messages we get from well-meaning (and not well-meaning) friends, family, and even the doctor about the right and wrong way to feed our kids, and how for some reason we make meaning about how good of a parent we are based on how well we can control what our child does and doesn’t eat.  I see this even in families where the child doesn’t have an obvious history of food trauma or scarcity.Which makes complete sense because food, attachment, and giving and receiving nurturing are intriquately intertwined.  They cannot be teased apart.  Kibby is taking a unique and in my not-so-humble opinion brilliant approach to supporting families where there is just too much negative and stressful around food and feeding.  Kibby isn’t a therapist.  He’s The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Y'all- I'm on vacation!  Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts!  40 episodes in a row!  Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;)Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Therapist Uncensored podcast.  This was my second time on Therapist Uncensored- the first time was a few years ago when I got to record live in their studio.  The co-hosts of Therapist Uncensored, Sue and Ann, are colleagues from back in Austin.  If you don't know Therapist Uncensored, definitely check it out.  It's a hugely popular podcast with some pretty amazing guests.  Sue and I talk about moving beyond being trauma informed and doing more than just supporting the families of kids with big behaviors- truly loving these families (you know I do!!!)We get practical toward the end and go through a super specific example of navigating both lying and food-related behavior from a relational neuroscience foundation.  Thanks for continuing to join me during the month of July even while I slowed down and pressed my own re-set button.  The Parenting after Trauma podcast will be back next week with a new episode!Be sure to search for Therapist Uncensored in your podcast play and hit subscribe.  Check out all the amazing work they are doing over on their website: https://therapistuncensored.comThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Y'all- I'm on vacation!  Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts!  40 episodes in a row!  Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;)Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Empowered to Connect podcast.  It was one of my favorite interviews ever because it felt like I became instant friends with the hosts, JD and Tona.  Oh my, did we laugh.  You could say we discovered we were kindred spirits.JD and Tona had asked me on their podcast to speak about a blog article I wrote called Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist.  Yeah I know I know, it's a bit of a provocative title which isn't really my style.But hey, it piqued JD and Tona's interest and ultimately led to the most fun interview!!!Here's the summary.  Self-regulation is internalized co-regulation.  It only develops after someone experiences about 9 million moments of co-regulation.  It's a simple but profound mindset shift.  It changes everything!So give it a listen and then let me know what you think (though I might not reply at first because I'm on vacation!!!!!!!!)Be sure to search for Empowered to Connect in your podcast play and hit subscribe.  Check out all the amazing work they are doing over on their website: https://empoweredtoconnect.org/The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Y'all- I'm on vacation!  Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts!  40 episodes in a row!  Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;)Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Attachment Theory in Action podcast with Karen Buckwalter (do you remember when Karen was my guest??)Earlier this year we recorded a 2-part episode on IPNB and Play Therapy.IPNB has changed my life.It changes the lives of the people I know.After you listen to this episode, subscribe to The Attachment Theory in Action where Karen interviews amazing guest experts!!!Karen is also the author of two books- Attachment Theory in Action and Raising the Challenging Child.The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Y'all- I'm on vacation!  Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts!  40 episodes in a row!  Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;)Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Attachment Theory in Action podcast with Karen Buckwalter (do you remember when Karen was my guest??)Earlier this year we recorded a 2-part episode on IPNB and Play Therapy.IPNB has changed my life.It changes the lives of the people I know.After you listen to this episode, subscribe to The Attachment Theory in Action where Karen interviews amazing guest experts!!!Karen is also the author of two books- Attachment Theory in Action and Raising the Challenging Child.The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Bonnie Badenoch, a thought leader in relational neurosciences and author, shares her insights on healing attachment through safety and presence. She emphasizes the importance of genuine connections, highlighting how they nurture growth and resilience in trauma-affected individuals. Bonnie explores the complexities of attachment styles, addressing the gaps left by attachment losses and the need for relational healing. With practical advice and therapeutic techniques, she illustrates how emotional support and community play vital roles in overcoming trauma.

Discover the transformative journey of attachment and how it evolves over time. Uncover the significance of recognizing insecure attachment as a protective mechanism. Learn how parents can heal by meeting unmet needs and fostering secure connections. The discussion delves into the power of rupture and repair in relationships. Valuable resources and community support empower parents and professionals alike. Plus, there’s an opportunity to access a beautifully designed eBook filled with insights from the entire series!

Dive into the complexities of disorganized attachment, where children may run to caregivers who are both a source of comfort and fear. This chaotic dynamic reveals how vital connection and co-regulation are in healing. The conversation also extends to adults, reinterpreting disorganized attachment as unresolved issues from childhood. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own emotional needs while emphasizing the importance of nurturing support for children facing such challenges.

Dive into the world of insecure avoidant attachment and discover how infants creatively meet their emotional needs. This discussion reveals the complexities behind connection and autonomy, shedding light on their impact on emotional regulation. Learn about the significant role of co-regulation and nonverbal communication in healthy development. The insights offer valuable resources for parents navigating the challenges of trauma and attachment, inspiring hope amidst the complexities.