The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

I'll bet you are familiar with this baffling phenomenon.Everything seems great.  Fun!  Even laughter and real good times.And all of the sudden- completely dysregulation and melt-down.Sometimes even just the anticipation of something fun can lead to dysregulation.I know that understanding the why doesn't exactly solve this problem, but I definitely find that understanding the why can open up compassion and keep us more regulated.  Which then means we can respond instead of react.In today's episode we are looking at the science behind why this happens.It's science- not sabotage!  Promise!***************In this episode you hear me mention a F R E E three-part video series on Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors.  You can find that at https://robyngobbel.com/videoseriesIf you are ready to take a deep-dive into parenting a child impacted by trauma through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety, you'll want to check out my self-paced, comprehensive, and all online digital course Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain.  You can find that at https://robyngobbel.com/parentcourseCLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new membersThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Connection.  Empathizing.  Offering choices.  These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good.  So…what should you do instead???This episode takes you through the three places I always recommend parents start first when they are trying to support their child who feels chronically dysregulated.1. Food, water, and movement2. Structure, routing, and predictability3. Stick closeThese may or may not help your child to decrease their level of arousal and dysregulation but they are always where I recommend parents start first!The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Explore the emotional complexities of the holiday season, where pressure and joy collide. Discover the importance of community support for parents facing challenges with their children. Reflect on self-compassion and recognize your worth amidst the chaos. The speaker shares personal growth and gratitude for listener connections, hinting at exciting plans ahead. It's a reminder that parenting struggles are universal, and you're not alone in this journey.

Lori Desautels is an assistant professor in the College of Education at Butler University in Indianapolis.  Dr. Desautels is especially interested in applying the social and affective neurosciences, including polyvagal theory, into the education setting.  Dr. Desautels also spends two days a week in the classroom, currently with 7th graders, where she has the opportunity to be applying the concepts she is teaching to other educators.  Dr. Desautels remembers that even before she moved into academia or had the opportunity to be exposed to social neuroscience she had a lot of curiosity about what behavior really is.  She’s always been on a quest to find out what is driving behavior (sound familiar?!).Now equipped with the science of behavior, including the autonomic nervous system, she is tenaciously working to bring this science to classroom educations. In today's episode, Dr. Desautels gives us a primer in:The brainstemFight/flight/collapse behaviorsHow to help kidsHow to help adultsDiscipline versus punishment.  Find Dr. Desautles!Dr. Desautels’ website: Revelations in EducationHer book: Connection over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline can be ordered HERE on Amazon.  The audio book is coming soon!Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ConnectionsOverComplianceThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

You might have met Jim Sporleder in the groundbreaking documentary Paper Tigers.  Jim is the former principal of Lincoln High School in Walla Walla, Washington, where he led his team and ultimately his students on the journey of becoming a trauma-informed school.  The work Jim, his team, and his students did was so phenomenal that it inspired the documentary Paper Tigers.  If you haven’t seen Paper Tigers, I highly recommend it.  It is absolutely worth your time!  A New Lens on BehaviorJim was inspired to shift toward a trauma-informed lens because he knew his school and his students needed something different.  He attended a trauma and toxic stress conference in 2010 where he was exposed to a completely new paradigm on behavior.“I always believed behavior was a choice,” Jim said.  He left that conference in 2010 with a new – and radically different - understanding of behavior.  He said it felt like he was hit by a bolt of lightning; he knew immediately that his approach to discipline needed to change.  Connect with JimWatch Paper Tigers on iTunes by CLICKING HERE.Watch Paper Tigers on Amazon by CLICKING HERE. Watch Paper Tigers on You Tube by The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Greg Santucci is an Occupational Therapist who has taken Facebook by storm with his bold, playful, and useful posts about working with kids- especially kids with regulation challenges.  He currently works both in a hospital clinic and in the schools.  Greg also has a consultation and training business where he gets to travel the country, training schools and occupational clinics in his ground-making model of working with kids through the lens of regulation and the neuroscience of behavior (sound familiar?!).Greg has years of experience as a school-based occupational therapist and advocating for the respectful treatment of students.Greg is vocal voice in the movement away from behavioral therapy, especially ABA.  He is emphatically opposed to behavioral methodology and practices while at the same time, he never criticized the professionals who have worked from a behavioral model.We know more now and we have to be brave enough to move past what we thought we knew.  Greg SantucciYou will love this inspiring and fun episode with Greg Santucci while we explore a hard topic- shifting away from a behavioral approach- with compassion and joy.You MUST go follow Greg on Facebook.  If you're not on Facebook, you should create an account just to follow him, it's that good ;)https://www.facebook.com/gregsantucciOTRead a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/AgainstABehavioralApproachThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Julie Been is the executive of the Attachment and Trauma Network, a non-profit organization the supports the families of children with experiences of attachment trauma.  One of the resources ATN offers the community is the Creating Trauma Sensitive Schools conference.In today's episode, Julie and I talk a bit about how the conference came to be and what you can currently find at the conference (which is offered both virtually and in person in 2022).Julie also shares her go-to advice for parents who are struggling to get the services their child needs at school.You can read a summary of the podcast over at: https://robyngobbel.com/traumasensitiveschoolsParents and educators can join ATN for free.  CLICK HERE to see what ATN offers.ATN also offers a podcast- Regulated and Relational- that Julie co-hosts with Ginger Healy.The 2022 Creating Trauma Sensitive Schools Conference is open for registration and you can see all the details and register by CLICKING HERE. The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Is it possible to consider that the story we write about the experiences we are having are exactly that? Just a story?  And that it's possible to re-write that story?What about the story we write about someone else's behaviors and our reaction to those behaviors?This week's guest, Emily Daniels, MEd., MBA, NCC, SEP in Training, is the founder of HERE this NOW, a trauma-informed education and consulting firm dedicated to bringing trauma-informed education into schools.  She is the author of The Regulated Classroom, a guidebook for teachers to help them bring the science of regulation and the autonomic nervous system into their classroom, as well as the Educator Self-Care Toolkit, a collection of regulation hacks and sensory tools for educators.  Emily's superpower is obviously bringing a relational approach to what can be pretty heavy science - polyvagal theory and the autonomic nervous system.  She's fun, relatable, and teaches the science in a way that makes sense and is actually useful and practical in real life.  The Regulated Classroom is organized into four classroom practices:Connectors- Practices that cultivate relationships in the classroomActivators- Collective rhythm-making exercises grounded in the theory of regulating the brainstemSettles- Practices to calm the body’s stress responseAffirmations- Practices that encourage reflection, compassion, and recognition for self and others.Emily is an absolute delight and you will love meeting her in this episode.  She is leading the way in trauma-informed education practices with her focus on helping the teacher be regulated.  More of Emily!When you're done with this episode, youThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

It's that time of year again.Dysregulation is increasing, holidays are starting, and school is becoming a very hard place for our kids (and their teachers!)Mid to late October begins a very predictable pattern of dysregulation in the families I work with.It's one thing for this to happen at home, but it's probably happening at school, too.  Now what do you do?Today's episode kicks of a series on Supporting our Kids (and their teachers!) at School and I have some pretty amazing guests planned for you.When we find ourselves in the position of advocating for our kids at school, we get to use the same skills we use with our kids.First- Regulate ourselves!Next- Connect and use co-regulation skills (validate, language like "Of course you feel that way")Third- Assure them you're on their team and have the same goalsFourth- Offer to help without the help causing more stress (IE, don't send a 250 page book to read)In this episode, I even give a sample script on emailing your child's teacher after some not-so-trauma-informed behavior management techniques have been used.You can head over to my blog to get a copy of that script.  https://robyngobbel.com/schooladvocacyIf you'd like to read a long summary of the episode, grab that at https://robyngobbel.com/schooladvocacyNOW! Hit subscribe because there are some pretty amazing guests coming to the podcast in the next 6 weeks!The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What if we could get better behavior by focusing on something completely different?Dr. Nicole Beurkens is a holistic psychologist in Grand Rapids, MI who also has degrees and experience in education and nutrition.Dr. Beurkens started her career in special education and soon found herself with a desire to work with kids, parents, and families in a deeper way than she was able to as an educator.Through her work with families, as well as her own family, Dr. Beurkens became interested in nutrition and brain health, ultimately earning another master’s degree in nutrition so that she could incorporate nutrition health into her work with kids and families.Go Beneath BehaviorDr. Nicole and I get pretty jazzed about the importance about looking waaaaay beneath behavior at a child’s physiology and how nutrition specifically impacts the child’s physiology.  We agreed that attachment, boundaries, connection, all the things we are always talking about on this podcast are SO important…And…If a child’s microbiome is out of whack, their gut health, is impaired or there are other physiological difficulties that are contributing to their behavioral difficulties, then there is very little change can be made until the physical challenges are addressed.Listen to the episode for Dr. Nicole's ideas to take simple steps that make a big impact on nutrition and brain health, or read a thorough summary over on my blog here.Get more Dr. Nicole Beurkens!You can find Dr. NicoleOn her website https://www.drbeurkens.com/On her Instagram: htThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)