The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

I'm introducing you to one more amazing mom this week (I introduced you to another amazing mom last Sunday! Go check it out!)This mom has given me the privilege of watching some pretty remarkable transformation happen as she practices being OK with exactly who she is.And how that matters in her parenting.I hope you love this special episode.Many many thanks to my special guest :)The Club opens periodically to new members- the next time is March 1 - 7, 2022!  See all the details and join us over at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRead a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/SelfCompassionForThisMomThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

"I experienced post-adoption depression when my son was adopted as a newborn.  Now he has some behaviors that make it hard for me to parent with compassion.  How do we get out of this stuckness?"This is such a brave and vulnerable and honest question.  Thank you for trusting as well as trusting all my listeners to hold you and your son's pain.Regular podcast listeners won't be surprised that I start off by talking about self-compassion!  I have some thoughts about the important of everyone processing their grief, as well as how to support this parent's son is expressing authentic and valid feelings without being hurtful.In this episode, I mention my free ebook on attachment: https://robyngobbel.com/ebookWelcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February (yeah, yeah, I know today it's March!!!).Even though this Fridays in February series is over, I'm leaving the Q&A voicemail line open!  I'll release these bonus Q&A episodes occasionally, as questions come in!Have a question?  Leave me a voice message over at https://robyngobbel.com/podcastLook for the box that says "Send me a question!"Hit the button and record your question right on my website.  Easy peasy!See you next week!The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Ever wonder how to apply the concepts of felt-safety and attunement to one of the trickiest parenting experiences ever?  Food and feeding kids with extreme picky eating, food preoccupation, or other feeding-related challenges that feel very stressful in your family?This is exactly why I invited today's guest to the podcast!Dr. Katja Rowell is a family physician in Washington State, the author of Conquer Picky Eating for Teens and Adults, Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating, and Love Me, Feed Me.  Dr. Rowell is also the co-founder of Responsive Feeding Pros, an international digital learning platform for professionals working with feeding and eating challenges within a responsive framework.Responsive Feeding is a feeding model that has been in the academic literature since 2011 and is recommended by American Academy of Pediatrics. Dr. Rowell described Responsive Feeding as a model that ultimately helps kids tune into their hunger and fullness cues, while also recognizing and honoring that food is comforting and regulating.  Responsive Feeding is a model that is both high structure and high nurture, which ultimately allows for a lot of flexibility.  Responsive Feeding prioritizes felt safety; it is never intended to be rigid.  Responsive feeding is about attunement and helping caregivers respond to their child’s cues.All of this sounds very familiar right?  Attunement, felt-safety, high-structure, high-nurture.I knew Dr. Rowell would be just the right guest to talk to my audience!Dr. Rowell will be a guest in The Club in March, teaching a masterclass on Responsive Feeding!  We'd love to have you join us! https://robyngobbel.com/theThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Today is your lucky day because you get to meet a pretty awesome mom.A mom who might be a little like you- even if you're a grandma or a dad or a foster parent or a big sister or whoever you are.A mom who is straight up with us right away that she knows it's very possible that her child will have possibly life-long struggles with regulation.  And even if that's true, there are still a lot of things she can do to make life easier or better or maybe just less hard.I hope you love this special episode.Many many thanks to my special guest :)Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/BehaviorDoesntChangeThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

A parent grapples with her six-year-old's meltdowns when plans go awry. Insights reveal the power of empathy and structure in navigating these emotional storms. Strategies like changing sensory channels are discussed to help kids process disappointment and distress. The importance of parental calmness during these moments is emphasized, offering a pathway for better emotional management. Resources for further support are also shared, fostering connection and understanding between parents and children.

We talk a lot about our kids' owl, watchdog, and possum brain.But what about ours?Let's talk about mine.  How I was almost convinced our moving company was a ponzi scheme plotting to steal all our stuff.How I grow and strengthen my owl brain.How my owl brain has been tested in the past couple months as my team and I move The Club.  The movers did not steal our stuff.  They did do some extremely odd things but that's fine because they moved my stuff across the country.The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

"How do I help adoptive parents feel more empathy toward their child's parents so that their relationships can improve?"I love this question.  Thank you for calling it in, and thanks for even having it.The answer takes a few twists and turns as I talk about grief, all feelings being welcomed, and believing in everyone's infinite worth.Listen for the full answer as well as questions we can all ask ourselves to really do a self-inventory- have I created a space where all feelings are welcome?Link to Kent Hoffman's Infinite Worth Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9fHCrP8hZMWelcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.Have a question?  Leave me a voice message over at https://robyngobbel.com/podcastLook for the box that says "Send me a question!"Hit the button and record your question right on my website.  Easy peasy!See you next week!The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

****please don't listen to this episode when your child can overhear****Most parents I know have had the thought “I do not like my kid.”Parents of kids with big baffling behaviors, lots of dysregulation, and especially histories of attachment or relationship trauma have had that thought more than once.Then they become paralyzed by the shame of having that thought. More than once.They tell no one.  Or if they do, it’s with a tone of both shame and horror at themselves. In a way, I have found this self-shaming to be more significant in the parents who are drawn to my work. Y’all are parents who are committed to understanding what behavior really is and how to respond by increasing connection, co-regulation and felt-safety.You’ll say things to me like “I know why my kid is struggling.  I know why they act this way.  It’s awful for me to feel like I don’t like them.  I’m an awful person.”The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Many parents struggle to implement learned skills, especially during tough times. The concept of the 'owl brain' is discussed, pointing to the need for calm and connection to manage challenging behaviors. Self-compassion is emphasized as a crucial element for staying calm, with a practical four-step process shared. The podcast also highlights how connection and co-regulation can help parents process emotions like grief and anger, providing essential relational support during parenting challenges.

Katie Malinski, LCSW is a therapist and parent coach in Austin, TX.  I've been lucky to know Katie for well over a decade.  In the last few years of my life in Austin, Katie and I could wave at each other from our offices because she moved in across the street.Katie recently published her first book and I was thrilled she accepted the invitation to be on the podcast.  How to Talk to Your Teen About AnythingKatie organizes her book around 5 Key Skills for parenting teens:Active ListeningAuthentic CommunicationNon-verbal CommunicationEmotional RegulationBoundaries and Emotional BoundariesNon-Verbal CommunicationI enjoyed all of Katie’s book, and I was especially excited to chat with her about her chapter on non-verbal communication.Katie does a great job verbally explaining non-verbal communication- which is really hard to do!Get More of KatieSign-up for Katie’s email newsletter over on her website and get her 5 Tips for Better Behavior.Katie has an infographic and video on The Arc of the Tantrum that I know you’ll love.  Katie is a therapist and parent coach in Austin, TX, offering virtual parent coaching sessions.  Connect with Katie on Facebook and tell her I sent you!Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/TalkToYourTeenThe Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)