Ep. 71: What To Do When you Don't Like Your Kid

****please don't listen to this episode when your child can overhear****

Most parents I know have had the thought “I do not like my kid.”

Parents of kids with big baffling behaviors, lots of dysregulation, and especially histories of attachment or relationship trauma have had that thought more than once.

Then they become paralyzed by the shame of having that thought. More than once.

They tell no one.  Or if they do, it’s with a tone of both shame and horror at themselves. 

In a way, I have found this self-shaming to be more significant in the parents who are drawn to my work. Y’all are parents who are committed to understanding what behavior really is and how to respond by increasing connection, co-regulation and felt-safety.

You’ll say things to me like “I know why my kid is struggling.  I know why they act this way.  It’s awful for me to feel like I don’t like them.  I’m an awful person.”

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