Monitoring and modifying are the two essential elements of regulation. ~ Dr. Dan SiegelWhen we really understand what makes up the skill of self-regulation, we can be more intentional about helping our kids develop those skills.We can also be more understanding and compassionate when they aren't able to use those skills!This episode explores the skills of monitoring (noticing) and modifying (changing) our level of arousal and activation as the main ingredients of self-regulation.Remember that self-regulation can only develop with enough co-regulation. But once there is a strong foundation of co-regulation, we can encourage our kids to develop the skills to notice and change (when appropriate or needed!) their level of arousal. In this episode, you’ll learnThe main ingredients of self-regulation- monitor & modifyHow to scaffold up to teaching kids to monitor and modifyHow to have appropriate expectations about your child’s ability to monitor and modify, even after they have learned the skillsResources mentioned in this podcast:The Whole-Brain Child - Dr. Dan SiegalNo-Drama Discipline - Dr. Dan SiegalRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/ingredientFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Medical trauma can feel confusing because in many circumstances, we are seeking out the very medical interventions that our kids experience as traumatic. Trauma is in the eye of the beholder. Some kids experience trauma due to their time in the NICU. Some kids experience trauma at the dentist. Some kids experience trauma due to an emergency or accident. Much of the time, parents feel helpless or even guilty for ‘causing’ the trauma. In this episode, you’ll learnHow medical treatment can have a traumatic impactHow to help kids make sense of confusing medical treatmentA couple of ideas for how to help kids prepare for medical treatmentRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/medicaltraumaFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Resentment. We’ve all felt it.Very little about this parenting journey has gone according to plan.We’ve done the hard work- the never-ending work actually - of rewiring everything we thought we knew about behavior, what it means to be human, how to parent, and how to have a family.Some days we do it without a second thought.Some days are full of resentment and anger.You aren’t a bad person. But resentment feels bad! In this episode, you’ll learnThe very important job that resentment does for youA message that resentment might be trying to tell youThe importance of staying curious - and not shaming - about the feeling of resentmentResources mentioned in this podcast:When Parenting is Traumatic {EP 95}Grief in Parenting Kids with Vulnerable Nervous Systems {EP 129}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/resentmentFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

One of the harder things to navigate when shifting to a nervous system lens on behavior is the feeling that a lot of the strategies seem like they are rewarding bad behavior.Strategies that invite regulation, connection, and felt safety are usually strategies that feel good.If our kids feel good after bad behavior, will they have MORE bad behavior??In this episode, you’ll learnWhat it might be signaling if you’re wondering if you’re rewarding bad behaviorHow to avoid unintentionally increasing the likelihood of dysregulation in the futureWhy it’s reallllllly important to offer connection, co-regulation and felt safety strategies when you are in connection modeResources mentioned in this podcast:Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}Is It Time to Raise the Bar? {EP 207}Amanda Diekman - @lowdemandamandaRead the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/rewardbadbehaviorFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Explore the nuances of intensive parenting and uncover the difference between 'hard' and 'too hard' for both parents and kids. Delve into the emotional toll on parents and learn strategies for offering support while establishing vital boundaries. Gain insights into fostering children's success in educational settings through co-regulation and understanding their needs. Discover the importance of self-compassion and connection in parenting, especially when navigating the challenges of parenting sensitive children.

The discussion emphasizes how the nervous system shapes children's behavior. Parents learn about 'felt safety' and its connection to trauma, highlighting the importance of environment and relationships. Key insights into neuroception reveal how kids assess their safety, influencing their actions. The conversation also stresses the need for compassion and connection in parenting, offering resources to help tackle behavioral challenges. It's a thoughtful journey into understanding the underlying mechanisms that impact children's development.

It’s very common to feel like our kids are either intentionally sabotaging good things or that they are purposefully setting us up to be mad or disappointed or to have to say no. You aren’t imagining this phenomenon!All humans do it, but our kids with vulnerable nervous system and big, baffling behaviors may seem like they do it more often.In this episode, you’ll learnThe neuroscience behind WHY our kids sabotage situations or set us up to be dysregulatedWhat they are really doing (and it’s actually full of hope)How we might respond differently that could actually change their brainResources mentioned in this podcast:Rupture Repair podcast episodeMatch the Energy not the Dysregulation podcast episodeRegulated, not Calm podcast episodeBrilliant of Attachment podcast series & eBook,which goes deeper into the concept of hope vs. expectationRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/setupFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Exploring the hard truths of personal change, the discussion emphasizes that relying on external forces for support often leads to frustration. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their own agency in the journey toward healing and self-acceptance. The conversation touches on the complexities of vulnerability and the emotional challenges faced in relationships, while also highlighting the significance of personal accountability. Gratitude for community support underscores the importance of fostering self-love and growth.

Rose LaPiere LPC, RPT-S, and ACS invites into a space of safety and connection so we can make room for grief. Rose brings her own experiences of grief to her work as a play therapist (and co-leader in Robyn’s immersive training program for parenting professionals, Being With) so she can bravely welcome in, and be with, her client’s big, at times overwhelming, feelings. In this episode, you’ll learnThe importance of authenticity, naming, and acknowledge even really really hard feelingsThe role of playfulness is processing griefThe importance of self-compassion for the grown-ups and therapists supporting kids and families in their griefResources mentioned in this podcast:Rose's Website! - RoseLaPiere.comRead the full transcript at:URL goes hereFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

You’ve lowered stress and demands. You’ve reframed your child’s behavior as a response from their autonomic nervous system. You’ve worked hard to help your child’s stress response system rest and begin to healNow what?In this episode, you’ll learnHow rest is only one part of the healing processThe importance of reintroducing stressThe difference between stress that prompts growth and stress that leads to injury and burn-outResources mentioned in this podcast:Stress Response System {EP 94}Scaffolding Felt Safety {EP 205}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/RaiseTheBarFacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith