The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Content Warning! This episode discusses trauma, abuse, neglect, suicidal ideation, and dissociative identity disorder.I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens.All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/DurangoRegister by January 31 for $25 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Should we be talking about felt safety when so much is genuinely unsafe?I’ve been thinking a lot about this hard and honest question that so many parents are holding: when danger, injustice, and unmet needs are real and ongoing, does focusing on felt safety miss the point? Or can it actually be part of resistance, coherence, and long-term protection for our nervous systems?In this episode, you’ll learn:Why focusing on felt safety is not the same as ignoring real danger, injustice, or systemic failure- and how both truths can coexistHow strengthening the nervous system can reduce long-term harm without minimizing how hard, unfair, or traumatic things areWhy regulation and moments of safety, connection, and coherence are not toxic positivity- but a necessary foundation for advocacy, boundaries, and resilienceResources mentioned in this podcast:Creating Felt Safety LIVE webinar with Robyn on Thursday January 15th RobynGobbel.com/FeltSafetyWebinarThe Club! RobynGobbel.com/TheClubRead the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/nothingfeelssafeI would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens.All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/DurangoRegister by January 31 for $25 off! :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

In part 3 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, Juliane Taylor Shore talks us through how boundaries work in relationships with our children - relationships where we have to show up every day - and why it is so important for us to have good psychological boundaries when our children are verbally aggressive. In this episode, you’ll learn:What are psychological boundariesHow do psychological boundaries help usWhy good psychological boundaries are important when a child is verbally aggressiveHow to create space between your mind and another's mindResources mentioned in this podcast:Juliane Taylor Shore's website: https://www.cleariskind.com/Juliane's boundaries course: ​​https://therapywisdom.com/neurobiology-of-feeling-safe/Jules' Relationship Podcast : https://whydoesmypartner.com/FREEOne-page PDF infographic on Boundaries with Connection!CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inboxRead a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundaries3I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens.All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/DurangoRegister by January 31 for $25 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Explore effective boundaries that foster safety and connection for children. Discover how to design boundaries tailored to your child's developmental stage, enhancing their emotional and physical security. Learn about the importance of adult co-regulation, routines, and predictability in supporting kids' growth. Understand the significance of tightening boundaries after setbacks, and the emotional responses children may have to these changes. Dive into practical strategies for creating a supportive environment that makes success inevitable.

Delve into the vital distinctions between rules and boundaries in parenting. Discover how regulation and connection foster compassionate limits rather than permissiveness. Explore practical examples, like curfews and device restrictions, to illustrate these concepts. Learn how to respond effectively when boundaries are violated, emphasizing safety and connection. Understand the importance of personal control over boundaries and how to set kids up for success, even during challenging moments of escalation.

Explore the intricate dance of parenting children who perceive connection as a threat. Learn to titrate your approach, providing just the right amount of connection without overwhelming them. Discover how lowering demands can foster resilience in their nervous systems. The importance of pairing connection with safe, enjoyable experiences is emphasized, suggesting ways to reduce the intensity of interactions. Gain insights into playful strategies that foster closeness while respecting boundaries, promoting healing and trust.

Explore the complex relationship between trauma and connection in children. Discover how early experiences can make connection feel dangerous. Learn effective strategies for caregivers to maintain emotional regulation and persist in offering connection despite rejection. Understand the significance of neuroception in recognizing safety cues. Embrace the grief that comes with unreciprocated efforts and the importance of seeking support from other relationships to bolster resilience. Gain insights into titrating connection to foster a sense of safety.

Discover how to foster felt safety in children to reduce oppositional behavior. Explore cultural beliefs around parent-child dynamics and learn to use adult brains to invite cooperation. Gain insights on creating supportive environments and understanding a child's inner world. Delve into bodily needs and the impact of movement on emotional regulation. Robyn emphasizes the importance of adult self-regulation and offers practical strategies to bridge connections and provide repair when needed.

What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways.In this episode you’ll learn:That even oppositional behaviors make total senseSpending a lot of time in protection mode is hard on the bodyChanging the behavior is not the goal- regulation, connection, and felt safety isThe diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder is just a label- we have to stay curious about the causes for treatmentResources mentioned in this podcast:Start Here Podcasts - robyngobbel.com/starthereWhen Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Connection or Protection {Ep 7}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional1I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens.All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/DurangoRegister by January 31 for $25 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between.In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship!In this episode, you’ll learnHow availability of connection is a cue of safety or dangerHow neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?)Why nervous systems are contagiousHow ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safetyHow you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession modeDownload a multi-page infographic all about felt safety: RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHubResources mentioned in this podcast:Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand ParentingRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetweenI would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens.All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/DurangoRegister by January 31 for $25 off! Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)