The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

What is a vulnerable nervous system and how do you know if your child has one? Understanding what is meant by "vulnerable nervous system" can help you support your child with big, baffling behaviors.In this episode, you’ll learn:What do I mean by vulnerable nervous systemHow to know if your child has a vulnerable nervous systemWhat causes nervous system vulnerabilityHow to support a child who has a vulnerable nervous systemResources mentioned in this podcast:Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/Attachment Series ebook: Robyngobbel.com/ebookThe Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClubRead a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/vulnerableTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Sometimes it’s those lower-level, chronic behaviors- like rudeness and sassiness- that can really deplete the very limited reserves we have saved up in our own window of stress tolerance. Then we waffle between over-responding (big reaction, tiny problem) or under-responding (ignoring dysregulation which ultimately leads to increased dysregulation). Kids in chronic protection mode often seem rude, sassy, and mildly oppositional. What do we do when it feels like every word out of our own mouths would be to correct our kid’s tone or disrespect?In this episode, you’ll learnWhere sassy, rude, and disrespectful language usually falls on the watchdog continuumPossibilities about what really be underneath your child’s rude behaviorTimes when it makes sense for our kids to have a what’s up watchdog brain response that we should respect, not try to changeResources mentioned in this podcast:Boundaries With Verbal Aggression With Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/rudeTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Understanding the difference between having influence over behavior vs. control can help you get clear on what to focus on. One of the trickier parts of the work I do is talking so much with parents about attachment, their role in co-regulation, and felt-safety, without snagging into parent’s shame about every parent's deepest worry- that their child’s baffling behaviors are all their fault.In this episode, you’ll learn:What it means to influence, not controlWhat your real responsibility is in influencing behaviorResponsibility does not equal blameHow to acknowledge influence without shameRead a summary or the full transcript at:robyngobbel.com/influencebehaviorsTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If you’ve ever wanted to eavesdrop on a conversation between two attachment, trauma, and neuro-nerds, today is your chance.Robyn and her dear friend and colleague, Jessica Sinarski, got together a few weeks ago for a live webinar to chat about how they have turned attachment science into practice.If you missed that webinar, here’s your chance to listen in.In this episode, you’ll learnWhy most therapy trainings are inadequate for working with children with trauma and attachment historiesHow Robyn & Jessica learned how to put attachment science into practiceWhat to do if your clients what a behavioral approachWhy we don’t have to have all (or even most) of the answersResources mentioned in this podcast:Moving Beyond Trauma Informed with Jessica SinarskiBeing With with Robyn GobbelThere might be more, I’m not sureRead the full transcript at:https://robyngobbel.com/attachmentscience/Teaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Explore how safety cues emerge from relationships and influence emotional well-being. The discussion highlights the contagious nature of nervous systems and how personal interactions shape feelings of safety. Learn why understanding the dynamics of connection is vital for parenting, especially with children who struggle to feel secure. Discover practical strategies to enhance connection and foster a sense of safety, even amidst the challenges of parenting. This insightful conversation emphasizes the transformative power of relational dynamics in personal and parental growth.

Discover how our surroundings shape a child's sense of safety and its impact on their development. Explore the concept of felt safety and learn the vital external cues that inform kids about their environment. Unpack misconceptions surrounding this crucial topic and understand how sensory experiences influence feelings of security. Find out what actions we can take with this knowledge to support our children’s growth in a nurturing way.

Dive into the essential concept of felt safety and its crucial role in parenting, especially for children with sensitive nervous systems. Discover what felt safety truly means and the common misconceptions surrounding it. Explore how internal cues like hunger and illness factor into our sense of safety. Learn about the dynamics of stress responses and how environmental conditions influence behavior. This insightful discussion sets the foundation for understanding how to cultivate a secure environment for children.

There’s a lot of confusion about what co-regulation really is.  Parents often say to me something like “OK, I get it- I’m supposed to give co-regulation instead of a consequence.  But- what does that really mean?  Like- what does co-regulation actually look like in real life?”Listen to the episode to learn:What regulation really isWhat co-regulation really isThe ‘ingredients’ of co-regulationAn example of in-real-life co-regulation (with an older child)Active vs. passive co-regulationIn this podcast, I mention:Is it really about trust? Or not enough co-regulation?  Building the Tower of Self-RegulationRegulation Does Not Equal CalmFREEOne-page PDF infographic on What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like!CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inboxYou can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/coregulationTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Behavior is just what we see on the outside that tells us about what’s happening on the inside.If we want to change behavior, we have to change what’s driving the behavior.This approach to behavior change rests on the idea that regulated, connected kids who feel safe behave well.  If you’re curious about how I came to that conclusion, you can watch my free masterclass and download the free eBook on Focus on the Nervous System!How many times have you felt confused because of conflicting parenting advice?Or how often has good parenting advice worked- but only some of the time?That’s because parenting advice is aimed at stopping a behavior. But…Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ChangeBehaviorTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

I know it feels very frustrating when you find a therapist, arrange your schedule, and find a way to pay for therapy only for your child to not participate. Often parents ask me how to get their child to participate or what to do if their child won’t participate.  But actually what we really need to talk about is what does it look like to participate- or not- in therapy.  Especially as a child.In this episode, we’ll talk aboutWhat therapy really isWhat the right pace is for your childHow it’s not possible for your child to not participate (if the therapist is prioritizing safety)FREEOne-page PDF infographic on What Therapy Really Is!CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inboxRead a summary of this episode, access the full show notes: RobynGobbel.com/ChildInTherapyTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)