Dear Dr. Tracy

Have you ever felt the urge to bite your tongue when something’s bothering you—just to keep the peace? Would you describe yourself as a conflict avoider? Or maybe your partner is a conflict avoider. In this episode, we dive into the real reasons behind conflict avoidance, uncovering how silent resentments can take a toll on your mental well-being and your bond with your partner. We’ll explore why we often dodge difficult conversations, the long-term impact on both individuals and couples, and share practical steps to move from avoidance to constructive communication.Whether you’re struggling with unspoken irritations or seeking a healthier way to handle everyday disagreements, this conversation will help you and your partner break the cycle of conflict avoidance. Tune in as we discuss how small (but powerful) shifts can lead to deeper emotional connection and relationship growth. Don’t miss out on these essential insights to transform conflict into a powerful tool for building trust, respect, and closeness.Links:Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s here! Season 6 of the podcast is launching with a brand-new name: Dear Dr. Tracy! In this episode, Dr. Tracy’s pulling back the curtain on why she made this change, what it means for the future of the show, and how she’s stepping outside her comfort zone to bring you even deeper, more real conversations about relationships, resentment, intimacy, and all the messy in-between moments.Dr. Tracy discusses why the name change, how you can be part of the show, what’s been going on behind the scenes, a parenting moment she didn’t sign up for (and why she got a cake for it), and what’s coming this season. Links:Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the season finale of the podcast, Dr. Tracy tackles one of her most frequently asked questions: "How do I get my partner to go to therapy?" But first, she has a special announcement to share: she's writing her second book! Dr. Tracy then dives into the importance of starting therapy early in a relationship to build trust, enhance communication, and address issues before they become critical. She discusses the challenges many couples face, especially when one partner is hesitant, often due to stigma or fear of blame. She shares strategies for encouraging a reluctant partner, including empathetic communication, understanding their concerns, and approaching the conversation with care. The episode also explores the benefits of therapy, such as identifying and changing negative cycles, fostering personal growth, and deepening emotional connection. Dr. Tracy encourages listeners to be patient, respect their partner's pace, and consider therapy as a tool to strengthen and sustain their relationship. Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.Links:Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Eli Harwood, a licensed therapist, author, and creator of the "Attachment Nerd" online community. Eli shares her personal journey of overcoming inherited attachment trauma, emphasizing the importance of breaking intergenerational cycles. Together, Dr. Tracy and Eli explore the pressures of parenting, emphasizing the value of attunement, co-regulation, and being present with children during painful moments rather than trying to eliminate their pain. Eli also introduces her new book, "Raising Securely Attached Kids," which offers insights and practical advice for parents. Key takeaways from this conversation include the importance of repair over perfection in relationships, the necessity of connection in parenting, and understanding that parenting is challenging because it requires confronting our own vulnerabilities. The episode highlights that fostering connection through vulnerability and repair is what truly strengthens relationships. Be sure to keep up with Eli on Instagram @attachmentnerd and pre-order her new book here!Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.Links:Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Kate Truitt, a clinical psychologist and neuroscientist, dives into the intricate connections between trauma, the amygdala, and adult relationships. She explains how childhood experiences shape our dynamics with others, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion in healing. Topics like trauma bonding versus codependency are explored, revealing the often unseen influences of past traumas. Kate also highlights the power of storytelling and vulnerability in therapy, arguing for the significance of authentic connections for emotional growth.

It’s safe to say that "mommy brain" is due for a rebrand! In this episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Nikki Pensak, a clinical psychologist, TEDx speaker and author of "Rattled," to discuss the challenges and opportunities of motherhood, particularly during the postpartum period. Dr. Nikki shares her journey from academia to becoming a mother, emphasizing the mental health needs of mothers often overlooked. They discuss the transformation of the maternal brain during matrescence, the pressures of social media, and the reality of baby bonding and breastfeeding challenges. Dr. Nikki rebrands "mommy brain" as a brilliant adaptation to motherhood's demands and advocates for early postpartum mental health care. They explore three pillars for thriving postpartum: mental health treatment, understanding motherhood, and thriving beyond birth trauma. The episode flips the narrative on motherhood, viewing it as a profound opportunity despite its challenges. Dr. Tracy concludes with actionable tips: self-compassion, incorporating movement, and practicing present-moment connection.  Be sure to keep up with Dr. Nikki on Instagram @drnikkipensak and grab a copy of her book here!Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.Loop - Visit loopearplugs.com and use code LOOPXDRTRACY for 10% off of your order.Links:Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy talks with Rini and Shaun Frey about overcoming difficult periods in their relationship. Together, they discuss how anger and passive-aggressiveness can lead to disconnection and the importance of initiating early communication before things blow up. Despite eight months of built-up emotions, therapy helped them learn to talk openly and brought them closer. Rini shares her struggle with vulnerability and the expectation that men should take the first step, while Shaun recalls initiating reconciliation after a major fight. They highlight the importance of humour, managing egos, and learning repair strategies, encouraging parents to model these behaviours for their children.Be sure to keep up with Rini and Shaun on Instagram @ownitbabe and @ownitdad Listen to the full episode here:SpotifyApple Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Greg, AKA, Dr. Tracy's favourite co-host and hubby is back this week to discuss strategies to de-escalate disagreements. In this episode, they emphasize the importance of understanding how escalation occurs and how to effectively de-escalate before diving into the deeper and necessary conversations. They share insights from their own relationship, highlighting how childhood experiences shape behaviour in relationships and the impact of perpetual conflicts. Dr. Tracy and Greg discuss the physical sensations of escalation, common negative communication patterns, and the importance of self-awareness, acknowledgment, and making agreements with your partner to take breaks and return to conflicts with a calmer mindset. They also cover practical techniques for self-regulation and co-regulation and answer a listener's voicemail about navigating loss and its impact on relationships. Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.Loop - Visit loopearplugs.com and use code LOOPXDRTRACY for 10% off of your order.Links:Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s mini-session, Dr. Tracy addresses coping with anxious attachment in relationships. She explains that it’s not your fault and stems from unmet needs in the past. Dr. Tracy emphasizes self-soothing with affirmations like “I am loved, I am enough, I am worthy” and highlights the importance of looking inward for acceptance. Understanding triggers, practicing self-compassion, and clearly communicating your needs and struggles to your partner are key strategies. Self-compassion involves acknowledging suffering, recognizing it as a human experience, and offering yourself grace.Listen to the full episode here: Spotify Apple Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trigger warning: Traumatic birth experience  In today’s session, Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Mona Amin, a board-certified general pediatrician, online parenting educator, wife and mother. She shares her mission to provide relatable content for parents, aiming to instill confidence and calm in their parenting journey. In this episode, Dr. Mona candidly opens up about her traumatic birth story, the subsequent health challenges her family faced, how it affected her marriage, the importance of self-advocacy and the key role therapy played while navigating her postpartum reality. As a recovering perfectionist she also shares how she's learned to get comfortable in being uncomfortable and trust the healing process. Together, Dr. Mona and Dr. Tracy explore how traumatic experiences can shape relationships, the ongoing, unpredictable journey of parenthood, the need to prioritize therapy and how to maintain hope in the face of uncertainty.  Be sure to keep up with Dr. Mona on Instagram @pedsdoctalk and visit her website www.pedsdoctalk.com  Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.Loop - Visit loopearplugs.com and use code LOOPXDRTRACY for 10% off of your order.Links:Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices