Dear Dr. Tracy

It's time for another Q&A episode where I answer your questions! In today's episode, I answer a community member's question about sex after baby.Life changes so much after baby is born and the pressure to have intercourse can feel overwhelming. Breastfeeding, hormone fluctuation, sleep deprivation, birth trauma, feeling touched out, recovering from birth.Is sex off the table? Absolutely not, but the pressure to have it should be. There is no right amount of sex to have and during this postpartum period we are reassessing our entire lives... so intimacy might be a bit different than it was before.In this episode, I discuss: Why the pressure to have sex should be off the table for one year postpartum  How communication with your partner and negative patterns can impact intimacy, especially postpartum My 3 tips for what you can start doing in your relationship today to address intimacy and shift toward connection  Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team againStart nurturing your intimacy today. Grab my FREE Nurturing Intimacy GuideLooking for more support? Check out my Nurturing Intimacy WebinarLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve prepared everything for baby’s arrival:✅Birth plan✅Hospital bag✅Freezer meals✅Set up nursery✅Install car seatYou’ve done the research and checked your list twice.But did you prepare your relationship?Many of us have thought that a baby will bring us closer as a couple. Perhaps you haven’t had any noteworthy struggles in your relationship so far and think nothing will change. Or perhaps things have changed a lot since then.As a mother and a clinician, the thing that strikes me the most is just how much we don’t share our relationship difficulties. The resentment. The moments of anger towards our partner. The feelings of disconnection and like we are ships passing in the night. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Cassidy Freitas to talk about the things no one told you would happen in your relationship after having a baby. Dr. Cassidy Freitas is a San Diego based mom to three and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in supporting millennial parents through pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting. She hosts the top-rated parenting podcast HoldingSpace. Every Friday on Instagram Dr. Cassidy shares relatable reels and doses of joy with the funniest TikToks. In this episode, we discuss: Dr. Cassidy’s experience of becoming a mother [6:30] The one thing Dr. Cassidy and Dr. Tracy didn’t prepare before baby [8:30] Feelings of fear entering motherhood [11:30] Postpartum mental health [12:45] The challenge of being a couples therapist who struggles with their relationship [18:15] The myth that we will feel closer after baby [19:15] What we can do to work through this phase [26:30] Values [30:10] Generous interpretation [31:15] Kids learn by what they observe [37:30] EPISODE LINKSDr Cassidy’s private practice websiteFollow Dr. Cassidy on InstagramListen to her podcast: Holding SpaceLooking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team againLooking to deepen your connection? Download my free guide of 100 QuestionsReady to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclassLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we first fall in love, there’s an attraction and excitement that sets the person apart from anyone else in the world - yet over time, we shift away from this.When I polled the community 67% of you said you felt like your partner’s roommate rather than their lover. Conversations feel transactional. There’s a loss of physical connection. The spark feels lost.But why does this happen? What can we do about it? In this episode, I discuss: What the honeymoon phase is [0:30] Reasons why you might feel like roommates [1:30] 7 ideas to try to shift from roommates back into lovers [3:48] Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team againGet intentional every day with your partner. Grab my Daily Rituals Guide.Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclassLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you find yourself frequently feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated by your environment?Perhaps you’ve heard those close to you say “You’re too sensitive.”You’re not alone and in fact, you might be part of the 20-30% of the population that are highly sensitive people. Today I am sitting with Natalie Brunswick to talk about highly sensitive people and the impact that being a highly sensitive person can have on our lives.Natalie Brunswick is a registered occupational therapist who focuses on supporting parents during the perinatal period, navigating the parenting journey, and beyond. She believes in a holistic, relational, and trauma-informed approach to mental health, wellness, and parenting. She has also been trained with Postpartum Support International and is a proud mom to two amazing boys. In this episode, we discuss: What a highly sensitive person (HSP) is [4:55]  What makes the trauma experience unique for HSP [8:00] Traits of HSP we can identify in our children [14:35] Family dynamics that show up when there are HSP [22:30] How our childhood as an HSP might impact our adult relationships [30:30] HPS and attachment styles [34:30]  EPISODE LINKSNatalie’s WebsiteConnect with Natalie on Instagram Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team againGet intentional with your partner. Grab my 100 Questions to Deepen Your Connection GuideReady to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclassLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, I talk about 7 things your parents didn’t teach you about relationships, and the things we should tell our children. I polled the community several months ago about this topic and your responses were so cool to see. It’s fascinating to see how so many of us didn’t learn how to show up in relationships - things like how to build healthy communication and what a healthy relationship looks like. So let’s deep dive into today’s episode where I’ll share what I think we should help the next generation learn.EPISODE LINKSDownload my free Year in Review guideUnicorn Space by Eve RodskyLooking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Grab my 28 Days of Love email series built with evidence-based tools to help you and your partner start to reconnect.Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclassLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let me set the scene.The tree is up.The lights are on.The decorations are hanging.And I am envisioning a picture perfect moment… the kids smiling in their Christmas outfits while we all smile for that Instagram-worthy photo.Cue. Reality.My kids are now 5 and 7. Hot chocolate ends up on their clothes more than in their bellies. I haven’t sat down all day. And this is nothing like what I envisioned. And I pause. I take a breath. I welcome my perfectionistic voice and say, “Oh, hey there, I was wondering when you would show up this holiday season.”The challenge with social media is that we see these beautifully crafted images without seeing what truly happened before. Family photos? Don’t even get me started – you know it didn’t look like “and everyone say cheese!” in one frame. Holiday get-togethers? Nope, not everyone is happy 100% of the time. The work project? Also probably didn’t go down as it is shown on social media.The nursery and beautifully captured image of baby laying in the crib? This is the highlight reel.So many women and mothers show up in my office struggling with high expectations and perfectionism. The challenge? Life is not perfect. You are not meant to be perfect. There will be mistakes. It is not possible to be the perfect caregiver, partner and individual.  And even more so? It’s a trait that society places on us.And this pressure from society is not helpful.Join me as I speak with DR. JEN DOUGLAS, a clinical assistant professor at Stanford University, licensed psychologist, and mental wellness speaker. She focuses on helping individuals overcome anxiety, perfectionism and trauma which may be holding them back from living their lives in the most full and authentic way.In this episode, we discuss: 13:47 – What is perfectionism and how does it show up for people? 22:23 – Why do I strive for it? 34:37 – What is the connection between burnout and perfectionism? 48:09 – Overcoming the all-or-nothing thinking 53:13 – What you can start doing now to help perfectionism EPISODE LINKSDr. Jen Douglas on InstagramCheck out her Freedom From Perfectionism CourseLooking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Grab my 28 Days of Love email series built with evidence-based tools to help you and your partner start to reconnect.Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclassLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For so many, the holidays stir up so many emotions and old wounds. This is particularly true for parents while they sit in front of their children, seeing their own struggles and triggers being reflected back by their children - a window, an opening to be curious and to heal. And it often brings up questions of - where am I with my parent? How do I feel with them? What works and isn’t working anymore? What am I still holding on to? We’re going to tackle something big today.Abbey Williams, MSW, LSW is a behavioural health therapist, the found of You, The Mother, the producer and host of the You, The Mother Podcast, Author of “An ABC of Families,” and mother of 4. She is committed to supporting, empowering, and connecting with mothers in all seasons of motherhood. Abbey has been featured in PopSugar, Parents, Romper, and SheKnows. She navigates her blended family/co-parenting life with her husband, four kids, and two sister labs in Cincinnati, OH.In this episode, we discuss: Abbey’s healing journey as she navigates motherhood Acknowledging unhelpful dynamics between family members Grieving old parts of us that aren’t serving you anymore Abbey’s hardest moments on being a mother while also healing old wounds from her family The answer to this question: How do I know when I need to cut contact with my family? Grieving a mother she didn’t have  EPISODE LINKSYou The Mother WebsiteFollow You The Mother on InstagramFollow You The Mother on FacebookFollow You The Mother on TikTokLooking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Grab my 28 Days of Love email series built with evidence-based tools to help you and your partner start to reconnect.Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclassLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Social media has recently become a place for mothers to connect and share their real, raw truths, but it hasn’t always been this way. For many, we open up our feeds and are flooded with highlight reels of the lives of others. Perfectly curated holiday pictures, clean homes, and women glowing - it can seem as though every other mother has their life together. Am I the ONLY mother who doesn’t love every aspect of motherhood? Am I the only one crying daily and feeling overwhelmed? Does anyone else feel a rush of anger that feels unrecognizable? In this episode I sit down with Libby Ward, the Honest Mom, to talk about the myths, shame, and emotions that show up with motherhood. Libby is a digital creator, speaker, and mental health advocate with a deep commitment to breaking the cycles of trauma. Focusing on today’s difficult and complex experiences of mental health, Libby is focused on reaching more women with her perspective-changing stories through her community of over 1.3M on social media.In this episode, we discuss: Anger and rage experienced in motherhood Resentment in relationships after having kids The changes in our identities after having children Supporting mothers in the context that they are mothering in Tackling shame and guilt in motherhood Be sure to check out Libby’s Guided Journal on Amazon! The Honest Mom JournalEPISODE LINKSConnect with Libby on InstagramFollow Libby on TikTokCheck out her websiteLooking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Want to be on the same page with your partner this holiday season? Grab the Same Page Parenting Holiday Webinar and feel like a team with family. Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclassLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does it feel like a never-ending cycle with your partner when it comes to setting boundaries with the family? Maybe you both end up getting stuck on what you should do when your mother-in-law gives TEN gifts, when you both told her only two. What are the missteps in our relationship when it comes to boundaries?My husband and business partner joins me for today's episode on boundaries. Why bring in Greg? In a heterosexual cis-gender relationship, he has the other side of the experience when it comes to holiday boundaries. In this episode, we discuss: Who should set the boundaries with extended family What it means when we're at different points in our journey with boundaries (e.g., one gets defensive; one is critical) Important decisions to consider when it comes to setting boundaries with family  Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Want to be on the same page with your partner this holiday season? Grab the Same Page Parenting Holiday Webinar and feel like a team with family. Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclassLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being a parent brings new challenges to your life, but one that might have surprised you was constantly feeling touched out. Your child is tapping your arm, the furnace is humming, and you're beginning to feel like your head is going to explode. So why is this?In this episode, I sit down with Larissa Geleris, MS, OTR/L from Steady Parents to discuss parenting and sensory overload. Larissa is a licensed occupational therapist specializing in the identification and treatment of sensory processing dysfunction. Originally a pediatric therapist, Larissa experienced a life-altering concussion and experienced severe sensory and motor challenges. She soon realized the knowledge she used for her patients was helping her cope and that she could use this to help other parents who are experiencing overstimulation, overwhelm, and dysregulation. In this episode, we discuss: What is sensory processing? [9:44] The three senses you've probably never heard of [10:20] How parenting impacts our sensory processing [15:00] Why are noises and touch so triggering? [24:58] Proactive strategies for sensory overload [37:50] Larissa shares a strategy to use in the movement for sensory overload 40:20] How do we get our partners to understand what is happening to us? [42:00] EPISODE LINKSSteady Parents on InstagramSteady Parents WebsiteJOIN ME in my community!Ready to learn how to repair? Take my free masterclassJoin me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationshipLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices