Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Relationships can be tricky to navigate under normal circumstances, but if your partner struggles with addiction, you’ll likely find yourself faced with additional challenges. Society’s biases toward addiction can make it difficult to talk about — especially if the only advice people give is that you should leave. But, if you’re not ready to end your relationship, how can you improve your situation and let go of the guilt and shame of staying in a difficult partnership? Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers says that many of her clients initially come to her hoping that she can “fix” their partners, but relationships and addiction don’t work that way. If you want to improve your circumstances, it’s not about changing the other person — it’s about changing yourself. After all, you can’t control the world around you, but you can alter how you respond to it. If you want to feel less guilt, shame, and worry, Karilyn has some tips for learning to process your emotions and set better boundaries in your relationship. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers joins Dr. Marie Murphy to discuss how you can create your own happiness, listen to your intuition, and trust yourself — regardless of the difficulties in your relationship. Karilyn describes how addiction impacts relationships and explains why blaming, adopting a victim storyline, and attaching yourself to an outcome might end up doing more harm than good. Stay tuned!

Being the “other person” in an affair can be exciting, but it also comes with its own unique challenges. You may sometimes feel like you’re stuck or powerless in your situation. And, because of the taboo nature of the relationship, you might not have anyone to talk to about your feelings besides your affair partner. So, how can you figure out what you really want from your relationship and start changing your circumstances today? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you have more power over your situation than you think. However, you need to get clear about your feelings and desires in order to access that power. While simply wishing for things to change won’t help, there are techniques that you can use to navigate your relationship and make choices that will serve your best interests. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about the experience of being the “other person” in someone else’s affair. Dr. Murphy describes the various challenges that the “other person” typically faces, the importance of getting clear on how you feel without judging yourself, and the tried-and-true strategies for regaining your power. Stay tuned!

How does the way you think affect your sex life? What causes the excitement of a new relationship to fade? And, can changing your mindset create more pleasure in your relationship and life?  According to pleasure expert Danielle Savory, you can transform the way you experience your relationship simply by changing how you think. As she says, people in long-term relationships often unintentionally eliminate the things that create desire and make the relationship exciting — but it doesn’t have to be that way. By understanding yourself and your expectations more clearly, you can break out of old patterns and invite connection and passion back into your life. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks with Danielle Savory, a Certified Life Coach and pleasure expert, about how your mindset can affect your relationships and love life. Danielle explains how the stories you tell yourself influence your sex life, the importance of evaluating your expectations in a long-term relationship, and why understanding your brain may be the first step in the healing process. Stay tuned.

Navigating relationships can be tricky, especially when personal desires are unclear. Self-reflection is key to understanding what you truly want. Dr. Marie Murphy shares powerful coaching exercises to help identify your priorities. Responsibility for happiness lies with you, not your partner. Gain insights into your boundaries and motives, and learn how to improve your relationship dynamics. With clarity on what satisfies you, you can positively influence not just your current relationship but future ones as well.

Gina Frangello, a renowned author known for her memoir 'Blow Your House Down,' shares her compelling journey through infidelity and self-discovery. She discusses how affairs can serve as escapes but ultimately lead to deeper challenges in identity and relationships. Frangello explores the societal stigmas faced by middle-aged women, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and the courage to confront painful choices. The conversation touches on navigating marital complexities and reframing women's sexual health, urging listeners to embrace authenticity amidst chaos.

Heartbreak can be devastating. And, it’s not just the loss of the relationship itself that is so painful — there are also messy feelings involved with the practicalities of untangling your life from someone else’s. So how do you move forward in a healthy way? Is there a technique for transforming your pain into something better? According to Breakup Coach Dorothy Johnson, you can turn your pain into power with the right tools and perspectives. As she says, your internal beliefs are much stronger than your external circumstances. So, if you believe that things are going to improve, you have the power to change your situation and create a healthier and happier future for yourself. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy sits down with Breakup Coach Dorothy Johnson to talk about heartbreak and healing. Together, they explore the difference between attachment and commitment, the logistical and financial aspects of recovering from a breakup, and how to begin the healing process. Plus, Dorothy discusses co-parenting and why the no-contact rule isn’t the answer for everyone. Stay tuned!

Unfortunately, sexuality and shame frequently go hand-in-hand, and religion’s messages about sex may be partially to blame. Even if you aren’t religious, you can still be affected by the messages that have seeped into society — such as the ideas that masturbation is bad or pleasure is wrong. So, how can you overcome these problematic frameworks and rewire your relationship to sex? As a Sexual-Spiritual Advisor, Melissa Hite helps her clients reframe their sexual response cycles and embrace their natural sexuality. As she says, you can’t suppress sexual energy; it’s a part of who you are. But, religious messages can cause this energy to become distorted and lead to harmful feelings like shame. Fortunately, Melissa has some strategies for rewiring the beliefs and patterns that are causing you harm. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks with Melissa Hite, the Founder and Sexual-Spiritual Advisor at Higher Sex Education, about the intersection of religion, sexuality, shame, and healing. Melissa explains the complicated problems that can arise from religious messages about sex and shares her tips for reframing your beliefs and embracing your natural sexuality. Plus, Melissa discusses her 12-week course about mastering boundaries. Stay tuned!

Wanting relief from uncomfortable feelings doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. In fact, it’s a natural, human response. However, it’s important to determine whether you’re actually dealing with your discomfort or simply avoiding it. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, the short-term satisfaction you find through avoiding uncomfortable feelings is typically outweighed by long-term consequences. But, many people aren’t taught how to deal with discomfort in a constructive way. That’s where Dr. Murphy comes in. She has the tools and strategies you need to increase your capacity to tolerate discomfort without numbing your feelings or looking for a distraction, such as an affair. With her help, you can gain more control over your decisions and improve the relationships you have with others and yourself. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses the complicated relationship between discomfort, drama, and infidelity. Dr. Murphy explores the various ways people respond to discomfort, the consequences of avoiding your feelings, and the appeal of drama and infidelity as a form of distraction. Plus, Dr. Murphy shares some helpful questions you can ask yourself if you’re currently having an affair. Stay tuned!

What does it mean to have good sex? Has science uncovered the truth about what feeds desire? And, is there a way to redefine your understanding of sexuality and rekindle a positive sexual relationship with your partner? According to Dr. Barry McCarthy, sexuality consists of three components: intimacy, pleasure, and eroticism. For a healthy sexual relationship to exist, those components need to be balanced and approached with realistic expectations. So, how can you start having better sex today? Dr. McCarthy suggests that instead of viewing sex as a pass or fail experience, couples should work on finding their own unique sexual style — one that feels good for everyone involved. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Barry McCarthy joins Dr. Marie Murphy to talk about what “good enough sex” actually means. Dr. McCarthy reveals some surprising statistics about sex and relationships and explains how shifting your perspective can awaken a happier and healthier sexual relationship. He also shares his advice for rekindling desire with your partner. Stay tuned!

When a couple relocates for one person’s job, it can be difficult to adjust to the new circumstances. Yael Haklai-Neagu, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, knows from first-hand experience just how challenging that process can be. When she moved to the United States for her partner’s job 16 years ago, she had to overcome a number of difficulties — including the extra stress the relocation placed on her relationship. According to Yael, the individual who moves for their partner’s job (also known as the trailing spouse) has two challenges to overcome: grieving the loss of what they left behind and learning to recreate themselves in their new circumstances. In this way, relocation has a lot in common with other types of transitions that couples face, including infidelity. In one situation, the relocation is physical; in the other, the journey is carried out mentally and emotionally. However, in both cases you’re faced with a choice: do you stay or go? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks with Yael Haklai-Neagu, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Board Certified Hypnotherapist, about how to navigate complex transitions in relationships. Yael talks about her experience moving to the United States for her partner’s job, the choices that helped her find her own path, and what that experience has in common with infidelity. Plus, Yael shares how hypnotherapy can help you find a clearer perspective.