Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy
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Sep 16, 2021 • 27min

54. Embracing Your Contradictions

Do you feel stuck in a cycle of conflicting thoughts and emotions? Contradicting feelings can be draining, confusing, and overwhelming — but do they need to be? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, in order to resolve these contradictions, you must first acknowledge the good parts of your infidelity situation. While it’s essential to recognize these emotions, it doesn’t mean they need to define your relationship. Dr. Murphy says that the best way to overcome these difficult thoughts is to have self-acceptance about the positives and negatives associated with your behaviors — and then take action. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about finding relief and freedom from the contradicting emotions in an infidelity situation. Listen in as Dr. Murphy talks about the importance of self-acceptance, how she resolved a contradiction in her own life, and what it means to look at your behaviors in neutral terms.
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Sep 9, 2021 • 56min

53. Divorce and Your Relationship with Your Kids with Abigail Wald

Infidelity, separation, or divorce can have parents wondering if they’re harming their children. As a parent, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed — especially when you’re going through a big life change. But what if there was a way to navigate these tricky feelings and create a better relationship with your kids? As the Founder of Mother Flipping Awesome, Abigail Wald is here to help you overcome your fears about parenting. If you want to build a strong relationship with your children after your divorce, you must begin by addressing your own beliefs about marriage, divorce, and infidelity. Abigail says that once you dispel the assumption that marriage is unequivocally good and divorce is unequivocally bad, you can reclaim your power and start moving forward. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks with Abigail Wald, the Founder of Mother Flipping Awesome, to discuss her advice for parents who are dealing with infidelity, separation, or divorce. Abigail explains how to transform difficult situations into opportunities, the value of adopting a growth mindset with your kids, and why self-care is vital during a challenging time like divorce.
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Sep 2, 2021 • 25min

52. Dealing with Other People's Opinions, Part Three

Are you seeking to free yourself from other people’s thoughts about your infidelity? If you’re having an affair, other people may cast a blanket of disapproval over your situation — and that can cause you to start forming the same negative opinions. But, do you really want to give someone that power over your beliefs and feelings? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s common for people to seek approval from others about their decisions. But it doesn’t have to be that way. As Dr. Murphy says, you get to decide what you believe about yourself and your situation. Once you learn to trust your own opinions and embrace the nuances of your beliefs, you can decide whether or not you agree with other people’s opinions. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about the value of cultivating your own beliefs about yourself and your situation. Listen in as Dr. Murphy shares her advice for forming a sustainable view of yourself, overcoming the fear of other people’s opinions about infidelity, and freeing yourself from the negative thoughts of others. Stay tuned.
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Aug 26, 2021 • 31min

51. Dealing with Other People's Opinions, Part Two

What do you want people to believe about you? Other people’s opinions can have a powerful impact on how you perceive yourself. Different people will have positive and negative opinions, but when they are not aligned with your own, it's easy to devalue yourself. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, many people conceptualize their opinions of what is right or wrong as being fundamentally correct — but this is not always valid. Although it’s common to desire the approval of other people, it’s important to avoid whittling yourself away because of the opinions of others. According to Dr. Murphy, you do not have to listen to anyone else’s statements or beliefs. Once you understand, value, and accept yourself, you have the power to decide what you believe. Join Dr. Marie Murphy for this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she discusses how to overcome the fear of other people’s opinions about infidelity. Listen in as Dr. Murphy shares a story about learning to believe in herself, why you do not have to listen to other people’s opinions about your choices, and how to start nurturing a stronger relationship with yourself. Stay tuned!
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Aug 19, 2021 • 50min

50. The Joys and Sorrows of Adultery with Mona Lisa

It’s easy to feel encapsulated in an adultery bubble. With all the stigma around infidelity, where can you go to speak about the feelings you have? Is there a place to escape judgment and shame? Mona Lisa has created a safe space for adulterers, like herself, to connect without fear. For Mona, infidelity is empowering and provides her with a sense of freedom — but it is not without pain and other difficult emotions. She knows other people are navigating the same feelings, and that’s why she believes connecting and sharing her experiences is so crucial.  In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks with Mona Lisa, the founder of The Scarlet Letter and P.S. I Hate You, about navigating an adulterous lifestyle. Mona talks about the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with having an affair, the excitement of limerence energy in a new relationship, and the stigma around cheating and divorce. Stay tuned.
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Aug 12, 2021 • 23min

49. ​​In Defense of "New Relationship Energy"

New relationships carry a special energy, often referred to as the “honeymoon period.” But what happens after the excitement wears off? Is the relationship doomed — or can this energy spark a long-term bond? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, “new relationship energy” isn’t always a bad thing. While it’s important to recognize its existence and role in your relationship, it doesn't mean that the romance is over once this excitement wears off. So, how can you continue to build a sustainable relationship after the initial spark fades away? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses the pros and cons of “new relationship energy.” Dr. Murphy talks about how to use your initial excitement as a template for the future of your relationship, what to do when the spark starts to fade, and why it’s important to look at infidelity in neutral terms. Stay tuned.
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Aug 5, 2021 • 19min

48. Forgiving Yourself

Do you feel stuck in a loop of self-loathing? Are there moments in your past that you feel helpless to change, so you end up re-playing them over and over again in your head? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s important to stop blaming and shaming yourself and start releasing your own pain. While forgiving yourself doesn’t mean getting a free pass to abdicate any kind of responsibility, you can shift your focus to the more positive contributions that you want to make. This way, your past mistakes can become mileposts of learning, not events to watch on repeat. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses the important process of forgiving yourself. Listen in as Dr. Murphy talks about why dwelling on the past won’t change anything, how to stop unconsciously inflicting pain on others, and the difference between striving to live by your ideals and perfectionism. Stay tuned for more.
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Jul 29, 2021 • 22min

47. Being the “Other Person,” Part Three

Being the “other person” in an affair is complicated, to say the least. You fell in love with an amazing person, but are now stuck waiting for them to leave their long-term partner. With such difficult emotions at play, how can you choose the best path forward? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s easy to obsess over your partner’s decisions when you’re the “other person” in an affair. However, it’s important to remember that you have ultimate control over your life — and the decisions you make in your relationship. While you may not be able to change when or if your partner leaves their other relationship, Dr. Murphy has some strategies for owning your power, embracing uncertainty, and choosing the option that is best for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses the emotional rollercoaster of waiting for your affair partner to leave their marriage or long-term relationship. She talks about how relationships can survive the affair bubble, the challenge of waiting for your partner to make a decision, and her advice for choosing the best path forward. Stay tuned.
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Jul 22, 2021 • 47min

46. Dealing With Other People's Opinions, Part One

People have opinions about everything. However, when those opinions turn negative and become directed at you, it can feel extremely uncomfortable. Sometimes it might seem easier to try and avoid the discomfort by hiding your true desires or beliefs. But that response typically isn’t what’s best for you. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, embracing discomfort is sometimes the only way you can truly start feeling better. Doing the right thing for yourself will occasionally result in judgment from others — and that’s okay. The important part is learning how to deal with the way other people view your decisions without letting their opinions derail you from living the life that you want. As Dr. Murphy says, making other people happy shouldn’t come at the cost of your own happiness.  Join Dr. Marie Murphy for this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she discusses how to deal with other people’s opinions. Listen in as Dr. Murphy shares the story of a choice she made as a teenager that caused an onslaught of negative reactions and judgment. Dr. Murphy explains why she kept her choice a secret for many years, what she’s gained from telling her story, and the valuable lessons she learned about coping with people’s judgment and regaining control over her narrative. Stay tuned!
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Jul 15, 2021 • 23min

45. Being the "Other Person," Part Two

If you’ve ever been the “other person” in an affair, you’re probably familiar with how challenging that role can be. And, it can feel even more complicated when being the “other person” turns into a pattern. So, if you’ve found yourself in this position repeatedly and it’s not fulfilling your desires, what can you do to change your situation? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, sometimes being the “other person” can feel like a tragic curse that you can’t shake. However, if you want things to be different, only you have the power to change your circumstances. Today, Dr. Murphy is here to share her expertise so you can stop feeling stuck and start building the life and forming the relationships you actually want. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses why some people habitually find themselves in the role of the “other person” in an affair. Listen in as Dr. Murphy explains why your personal narrative could be preventing you from getting what you want and how you can break the patterns that aren’t serving you. Plus, Dr. Murphy shares three questions that can help you better understand your behavior. Stay tuned!

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