44. Moving Beyond Blame with Karilyn Ivers

Relationships can be tricky to navigate under normal circumstances, but if your partner struggles with addiction, you’ll likely find yourself faced with additional challenges. Society’s biases toward addiction can make it difficult to talk about — especially if the only advice people give is that you should leave. But, if you’re not ready to end your relationship, how can you improve your situation and let go of the guilt and shame of staying in a difficult partnership?

Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers says that many of her clients initially come to her hoping that she can “fix” their partners, but relationships and addiction don’t work that way. If you want to improve your circumstances, it’s not about changing the other person — it’s about changing yourself. After all, you can’t control the world around you, but you can alter how you respond to it. If you want to feel less guilt, shame, and worry, Karilyn has some tips for learning to process your emotions and set better boundaries in your relationship.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers joins Dr. Marie Murphy to discuss how you can create your own happiness, listen to your intuition, and trust yourself — regardless of the difficulties in your relationship. Karilyn describes how addiction impacts relationships and explains why blaming, adopting a victim storyline, and attaching yourself to an outcome might end up doing more harm than good. Stay tuned!