How To!

Annie Duke, a cognitive scientist and decision-making guru, shares her expertise on quitting and its emotional toll. She reflects on her own experience quitting poker to improve her well-being. Together with Victor, who feels stuck in his humanitarian job, they dissect common biases that keep people from leaving positions that no longer serve them. Annie emphasizes assessing happiness probabilities and setting a clear deadline for decision-making. The conversation is a refreshing take on knowing when it's time to walk away.

In this insightful conversation, Tig Notaro, a stand-up comedian and host of Don't Ask Tig, helps a listener named Sarah tackle her passive-aggressive neighbor. They explore effective communication strategies, encouraging Sarah to express how the notes affected her feelings. Tig suggests envisioning herself as the hero of a movie to reclaim her confidence. With humor as a tool, they discuss ignoring negativity and transforming the situation into comedy. By taking bold steps and focusing on joy, Sarah learns to regain control over her own narrative.

In 2025, listeners sought advice on outsmarting student loans, moving cities, and hosting gatherings. A heartfelt update featured Jeff, who described coping after losing his home in a wildfire. Experts shared insights on living with chronic pain and normalizing ADHD, easing shame for many. A caller's reflection on quitting a draining dream job sparked discussions on navigating tricky decisions without binary choices. Finally, the hosts encouraged asking for help and embracing vulnerability as a path to recovery.

Join Jackie Kelly, a marriage rule expert and social media creator, as she shares insightful strategies for navigating household tensions. She discusses the importance of explicit communication and outlines practical rules for couples, especially those with neurodivergent differences. Discover how visual task boards can alleviate procrastination issues and the value of setting clear deadlines. Jackie emphasizes the necessity of taking ownership of tasks and finding creative compromises to foster understanding and reduce conflicts in relationships.

Dr. Ingrid Clayton, a clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and author, dives deep into fawning—a little-known trauma response. She reveals its roots in relational trauma and shares a personal story that illustrates its long-lasting effects. The discussion highlights how fawning differs from people-pleasing, the societal dynamics that influence fawning behavior, and its consequences on self-identity. Ingrid also provides practical tools for retraining the nervous system, ultimately empowering listeners to reclaim their true selves while maintaining empathy.

Rebecca Onion, a Slate staff writer on a quest to strengthen her singing voice, chats with G. Phillip Shoultz III, a conductor and educator at VocalEssence. They discuss the emotional power of communal singing and Rebecca's hesitation about performing in public. G. Phillip emphasizes that anyone can learn to sing and shares physiological benefits of group activities. They demystify auditions, advocating for simple song choices, and encourage Rebecca to join welcoming singing circles to overcome her fears and embrace the joy of singing.

In this engaging discussion, Grace Chang-Nicollett, Vice President at the Center for Effective Philanthropy, shares her insights on effective charitable giving. She clarifies myths about nonprofits and emphasizes the importance of understanding who truly benefits from donations. Grace also highlights that lower-income individuals often give a higher percentage of their income. Discover practical tips on giving amounts, alternatives like time and talent, and how to evaluate nonprofits beyond mere financial ratios. It's a compelling guide for making your generosity count!

Melody Warnick, an author and journalist passionate about community and place attachment, shares her journey from feeling alienated in Blacksburg, VA, to falling in love with it. She discusses her innovative 'Love Where You Live' project, which encourages people to engage in their communities through activities like exploring, volunteering, and enjoying local events. Melody emphasizes how connections to neighbors can enhance resilience during tough times and highlights the importance of embracing what makes a place unique.

Melody Warnick, author and journalist recognized for her insightful books on choosing where to live, joins to help navigate the exciting yet daunting task of relocating. They discuss how moving isn't a magical fix for life’s problems, but a catalyst for change. Melody dives into the concept of being an 'Anywhereist,' highlighting how remote work expands options. Listeners learn how to define their values and effectively score potential cities on a 10x10 grid, ensuring their new home truly fits their lifestyle.

Join Mercury Stardust, known as The Trans Handy Ma’am and home repair expert, alongside journalist Sam Sanders, a first-time homeowner, as they dive into the world of DIY. They challenge the notion of hiring contractors, discussing the importance of embracing failure as a learning tool. Mercury highlights painting as a great starter project and shares essential tools for beginners. They also explore how personal histories impact our approach to home maintenance and encourage listeners to take small steps towards building their confidence.