How To! How To Quit IVF (and Start a New Chapter)
Sep 30, 2025
In this conversation, award-winning poet and U.S. Poet Laureate Ada Limón shares her insights on infertility and the emotional complexities of motherhood. She helps Lauren, who is pivoting from seven years of fertility treatments to adoption, find strength in her journey. Ada discusses the power of poetry as a coping mechanism and how reframing narratives around infertility can create new possibilities. They also explore themes of surrender, community support, and finding joy after loss, making it a poignant discussion on embracing life’s unexpected paths.
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Seven Years Of Fertility Treatment
- Lauren spent seven years pursuing fertility treatments including IUIs, IVF, donor embryos, tests, and procedures.
- Her last embryos failed in April and she still does not have a child, which catalyzed grief and a change in direction.
Grief Comes In Repeating Waves
- Infertility grief is repetitive: hope and grief cycle repeatedly across many losses rather than a single bereavement.
- That ongoing liminal state can exhaust hope and make finding a new path emotionally complex.
Reframing The Body Beyond Parenthood
- Ada found most infertility narratives presume an ending with a child, which made her feel like a failure when that didn't happen.
- She reframed her body as 'just my body' and imagined other offerings and possibilities beyond motherhood.
