I Wish You Knew

In this episode, Andrey and Adam unpack the deep connection between attachment styles and personality disorders. Together, they explore how childhood trauma, neurological stress, and emotional dysregulation contribute to avoidant, anxious, and disorganized attachment—and how these patterns can evolve into more severe conditions like borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and even schizophrenia. Adam challenges the medical model, offering hopeful insights on healing, brain health, and the possibility of recovery without relying solely on medication. ✨ Topics Covered ✨ 👉 The difference between attachment styles and personality disorders 👉 How avoidant behaviors can be self-protective—or damaging 👉 The impact of early childhood trauma on long-term attachment 👉 Why the medical model often mislabels people as “broken” 👉 How avoidant attachment differs from avoidant personality disorder 👉 The trauma roots of borderline personality disorder (BPD) 👉 The connection between high-performance households and emotional suppression 👉 What’s really happening in the brain during bipolar disorder 👉 The dangers of overmedication and brain inflammation 👉 Why even schizophrenia can be helped through functional systems 👉 Finland’s powerful approach to treating schizophrenia without meds 👉 How social bonding and oxytocin lead to brain healing 👉 Why chronic stress blocks your potential—and how attachment healing unlocks it 👉 A powerful metaphor about “loving a crocodile” and staying in unsafe emotional patterns Healing from childhood trauma—especially when it starts as early as age 6—takes courage, patience, and truth. If this conversation helped you feel seen or understood, consider sharing it with someone who’s walking a similar path. You’re not alone—and there’s real hope for healing and freedom. Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’  https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc  Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website:    https://iwishyouknew.show/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/  Tiktok:        https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow  Snapchat:  https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod   Twitter /X:  https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod  Spotify:      https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI  Apple:        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809  -------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg     Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith  Threads:   https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam  Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  ------------------------------------------------- The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there. Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast To Learn More About  @AttachmentAdam   https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

In this episode, Evan Marc Katz joins Adam Lane Smith for a fiery and thought-provoking debate on one of the most challenging questions in relationships: Can we truly change our partner—or is it all about accepting them as they are? From practical dating strategies to deeper emotional dynamics, this conversation dives into the complexities of modern love and long-term compatibility. ✨ Key Topics Covered: 👉 Can good relationships be effortless—or do they always require "hard work"? 👉 Why trying to filter a future husband through dating profiles might be sabotaging your chances 👉 The hidden danger of rushing relationships due to urgency or age 👉 Do men doing more chores really lead to higher divorce rates? 👉 Why chemistry fades—and what truly keeps couples together long-term 👉 Understanding attachment styles: anxious vs. avoidant in real-life dynamics 👉 How discomfort can be a sign of growth in a healthy relationship 👉 Can emotionally avoidant men become devoted, secure partners? 👉 The power of conflict resolution and reading emotional cues 👉 What makes two people truly compatible—beyond cliches Whether you're single and searching or in the middle of navigating a tough dynamic, this conversation offers powerful insights into love, growth, and emotional responsibility. To dive deeper into relationship skills, check out Adam's retreat offerings at https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=avoidant&utm_content=descriptionlink Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’  https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc  Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website:    https://iwishyouknew.show/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/  Tiktok:        https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow  Snapchat:  https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod   Twitter /X:  https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod  Spotify:      https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI  Apple:        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809  -------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg     Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith  Threads:   https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam  Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  -------------------------------------------------- Evan Marc Katz: -------------------------------------------------- IG: https://www.instagram.com/realevanmarckatz/?hl=en  Website: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/ The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there. Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast To Learn More About  @AttachmentAdam   https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

Brandon Doerkse opens up about how he nearly lost his marriage due to emotional numbness, distraction, and addiction. For years, he struggled with avoidance, failing to recognize how his actions were eroding the trust and intimacy in his relationship. It wasn’t until he hit rock bottom that he realized the painful truth—his marriage was falling apart, and he was the one responsible. Topics Covered: 👉 The impact of emotional disconnection in marriage 👉 How avoidance and addiction sabotage relationships 👉 Why men must take the first step in healing a broken relationship 👉 Understanding attachment styles and their effect on marriage 👉 The painful realization that led Brandon to transformation 👉 How honesty and accountability helped rebuild trust 👉 The importance of integration with God, family, and self 👉 What true masculine leadership in marriage looks like Brandon’s journey proves that no matter how broken a relationship may seem, healing is possible when a man is willing to confront his shortcomings and take responsibility. His story is a powerful testament to the importance of emotional awareness, faith, and intentional action in restoring love and trust. If this conversation spoke to you, share your thoughts in the comments. Have you faced similar struggles in your relationship? What steps have helped you move forward? Let’s continue the conversation below. Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’  https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc  Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website:    https://iwishyouknew.show/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/  Tiktok:        https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow  Snapchat:  https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod   Twitter /X:  https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod  Spotify:      https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI  Apple:        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809  -------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg     Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith  Threads:   https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam  Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  -------------------------------------------------- Brandon Doerkse: -------------------------------------------------- IG: https://www.instagram.com/brandontalksmarriage/?hl=en  Threads: https://www.threads.net/@brandontalksmarriage  The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there. Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast To Learn More About  @AttachmentAdam   https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

In this episode, Adam Lane Smith, the Attachment Specialist, navigates the challenges of a toxic marriage. Through raw and honest conversations, Adam uncovers the root causes of their struggles and offers practical guidance to rebuild trust, communication, and emotional connection. Whether you’re facing similar issues or just want to strengthen your relationship, this episode is packed with insights and advice that can make a real difference. Topics Covered: 👉 The impact of unresolved trauma on marriage and relationships 👉 How pressure and past experiences shape relationship dynamics 👉 Addressing touch aversion and intimacy issues 👉 The importance of emotional regulation and safe communication 👉 Building a healthy legacy for children and breaking toxic patterns 👉 Strategies to create a secure and loving environment for the whole family Adam provides powerful insights and actionable steps to help couples rebuild connection and create a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. No matter where you are in your journey, this episode offers hope and practical guidance to transform your relationship dynamics. Don’t miss this transformative conversation—tune in now! Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’  https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc  Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website:    https://iwishyouknew.show/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/  Tiktok:        https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow  Snapchat:  https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod   Twitter /X:  https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod  Spotify:      https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI  Apple:        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809  -------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg     Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith  Threads:   https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam  Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  -------------------------------------------------- The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there. Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast To Learn More About  @AttachmentAdam   https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

In this enlightening discussion, Shallon Lester, known for her tough-love approach to relationships, teams up with Adam Lane Smith to tackle the complexities of avoidant attachment. They uncover the hidden dangers of trusting words alone and unveil red flags that signal emotional unavailability. Shallon shares her strategies for setting boundaries and empowering women to prioritize personal fulfillment. They dive into the challenges of modern dating, encourage effective communication, and emphasize the importance of personal responsibility in seeking genuine connections.

Explore the growing divide between men and women and the societal impacts of modern relationships. Delve into the perception of male weakness and the cultural conflicts arising from changing gender roles. Discover how attachment styles shape emotional connections and the importance of personal responsibility. The crisis of masculinity is examined alongside strategies for men to reclaim their sense of purpose. The conversation highlights the complexities of navigating relationships, self-development, and the evolving dynamics of attraction in today's world.

Alyssa reflects on how a childhood that stifled emotional expression forced her into survival mode, affecting her emotional regulation. They explore the complexities of masculine and feminine energy and how meditation can be both helpful and hindering for avoidant individuals. The conversation highlights the importance of personal accountability and structured programs in healing attachment wounds. Adam emphasizes the value of deep self-reflection in building emotional connections, encouraging listeners to seek support for healthier relationships.

Many women find themselves in relationships that look perfect on paper but leave them feeling unfulfilled. In this episode, dating expert Julia Mazur shares her personal journey of settling in relationships and how she finally broke free. She discusses societal expectations, personal struggles, and the key mindset shifts needed to prioritize yourself in love and life. ✨ Main Topics Covered ✨ 👉 The dating challenges many women face and why they often settle. 👉 The influence of cultural and family expectations on relationships. 👉 The emotional toll of being in a relationship with the “ideal” partner. 👉 How loneliness and lack of fulfillment pushed Julia to reassess her choices. 👉 The dangers of love bombing and future faking in dating. 👉 The importance of filtering potential partners through meaningful questions. 👉 Understanding feminine energy and how it impacts attraction. 👉 Why being interested in your partner is more important than trying to be interesting. Julia emphasizes that true happiness in relationships starts with self-worth and refusing to settle. She encourages women to trust their instincts, set higher standards, and embrace independence rather than staying in relationships out of fear. Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Avoidant Husband & Anxious Wife Coached by Attachment Specialist’ https://youtu.be/QiPEH0o3EKA  Use code: IWYK20 for a 20% Exclusive I Wish You Knew Discount  https://ruggedlegacygrooming.com/ Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com   A special thanks to our sponsor Rugged Legacy Grooming Supply. Look, Feel, and Be your best with personal hair, beard, and grooming products recommended by top relationship and style specialists. And, unlike other brands, Rugged Legacy designs its products with all-natural oils and scents, made right here in the USA.  Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website:    https://iwishyouknew.show/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/  Tiktok:        https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow  Snapchat:  https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod   Twitter /X:  https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod  Spotify:      https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI  Apple:        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809  -------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg     Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith  Threads:   https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam  Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  -------------------------------------------------- The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there. Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast To Learn More About  @AttachmentAdam   https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en To Learn More About Julia: https://www.instagram.com/jamazur/?hl=en  https://www.instagram.com/pmdpod https://www.tiktok.com/@pmdpod?lang=en 

🎙️ Welcome to this eye-opening episode of "I Wish You Knew" with hosts Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, and Andrey Korikov, CEO and co-founder of Veritas Creative Media.    Emily Humpert opens up about her struggles with relationships, attachment challenges, and emotional intimacy. Adam Lane Smith helps her uncover the roots of her avoidance and how it impacts her connections with others.   Topics Covered: 👉 Struggles with relationships and repeated failures 👉 Avoidant attachment and emotional barriers 👉 Fear of sacrifice in relationships 👉 The myth of a ‘perfect match’ 👉 Recognizing personal needs in relationships 👉 Emotional intimacy challenges for high performers 👉 Family influence on attachment styles 👉 Oxytocin’s role in emotional bonding 👉 Steps toward secure attachment   The episode concludes with a reflection on attachment styles and how emotional avoidance may impact relationships. It emphasizes the importance of emotional connection and suggests working toward secure attachment for long-term relational success. If you’re struggling with attachment challenges, consider joining the Attachment Repair Program to build healthier, lasting relationships.   Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Avoidant Husband & Anxious Wife Coached by Attachment Specialist’ https://youtu.be/QiPEH0o3EKA    Use code: IWYK20 for a 20% Exclusive I Wish You Knew Discount  https://ruggedlegacygrooming.com/   Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com   A special thanks to our sponsor Rugged Legacy Grooming Supply.   Look, Feel, and Be your best with personal hair, beard, and grooming products recommended by top relationship and style specialists. And, unlike other brands, Rugged Legacy designs its products with all-natural oils and scents, made right here in the USA.    Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com 

🎙️ Welcome to this eye-opening episode of "I Wish You Knew" with hosts Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, and Andrey Korikov, CEO and co-founder of Veritas Creative Media.  In this episode, Aurora Culp opens up about her experiences with relationships, attachment styles, and why she tends to be drawn to avoidant men. Through personal stories and deep reflections, she explores the patterns that have shaped her love life and what she’s doing to break free from unhealthy cycles. ✨ Main Topics Covered: 👉 Aurora’s struggles with dating and attraction to avoidant men 👉 The role of attachment theory in romantic relationships 👉 How childhood dynamics with parents influence partner choices 👉 The challenges of dating emotionally unavailable partners 👉 The importance of secure attachment and emotional intimacy 👉 Strategies for fostering healthier relationships and breaking toxic cycles 👉 How waiting three months before commitment can impact dating outcomes If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns, this episode is for you. Aurora’s journey highlights the power of self-awareness and growth when it comes to love and attachment.  Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Avoidant Husband & Anxious Wife Coached by Attachment Specialist’ https://youtu.be/QiPEH0o3EKA  Use code: IWYK20 for a 20% Exclusive I Wish You Knew Discount  https://ruggedlegacygrooming.com/ Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com   A special thanks to our sponsor Rugged Legacy Grooming Supply. Look, Feel, and Be your best with personal hair, beard, and grooming products recommended by top relationship and style specialists. And, unlike other brands, Rugged Legacy designs its products with all-natural oils and scents, made right here in the USA.  Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow Aurora Cuplo: -------------------------------------------------- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJao_5jeoi6k1x4M03-v67g    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/auroraculpo/?hl=en  Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@aurora_culpo?lang=en  -------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website:    https://iwishyouknew.show/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/  Tiktok:        https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow  Snapchat:  https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod   Twitter /X:  https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod  Spotify:      https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI  Apple:        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809  -------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg     Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith  Threads:   https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam  Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  -------------------------------------------------- The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there.