I Wish You Knew

Guest Trevor Hansen, a former therapist and content creator, dives into the world of anxious attachment and its impact on relationships. He humorously highlights how anxious men often signal low safety through their nervous behaviors and eagerness. Trevor shares his personal journey from anxious dating to coaching others on building confidence through boundaries and accountability. They discuss the biological underpinnings of attachment and emphasize shifting from a victim to a hero mindset as a key to improving romantic connections.

Monica Almaguer, a marriage adviser and creator of Modern Marriage with Monica, shares her insights on rejuvenating sexual desire in long-term relationships. She discusses her own transformation with hormone replacement therapy and how it reignited intimacy with her husband. The duo explores the impact of emotional connection, the roles of oxytocin and testosterone, and offers practical advice like collaborative experiments for couples. Monica emphasizes the necessity of communication and appreciation in nurturing a lasting bond.

In this fascinating discussion, Dr. Trish Leigh, a neuroscience coach specializing in compulsive sexual behaviors, uncovers the profound impact of pornography on the brain and relationships. She explains how porn acts as a dopamine-driven addiction, leading to intimacy dysfunction and betrayal trauma. With insights on the arousal gap and the risks of infidelity, she emphasizes the importance of establishing boundaries for healthy relationships. Dr. Leigh also shares how QEEG brain mapping identifies real addiction patterns, guiding effective recovery.

In this insightful conversation, Dana Carafalia—a relatable content creator and mother—opens up about the hidden emotional costs of high-performing motherhood. She discusses the pressure of social media, the complexities of finding love after divorce, and how childhood experiences shape attachment styles. The duo explores themes like mom guilt, emotional detachment, and the importance of self-care. Dana shares her journey of healing and reconnecting with her emotions, proving that strength lies in vulnerability and authentic connection.

Maggie reveals how an 11-year toxic relationship intertwined love and addiction. She explores the impact of childhood trauma on adult relationships, especially the invisible caretaker role that develops. Discussions delve into disorganized attachment, people-pleasing, and the effects of parental infidelity. Topics also include the concept of 'micro-cheating,' emotional leakage, and the vital need for safety and support in partnerships. Valuable insights highlight the importance of self-awareness and changing harmful patterns for healthier connections.

What happens when toxic attachment feels like love? Maggie opens up about an 11-year relationship marked by addiction and emotional chaos, uncovering how her father’s betrayal shaped her patterns and need to rescue others. ✨ Topics Covered ✨ 👉 The link between childhood trauma and adult relationship patterns 👉 The invisible caretaker role and how it develops 👉 Addiction’s hidden impact on intimacy and integrity 👉 Why women often ignore red flags or avoid hard questions 👉 Understanding “micro-cheating” and emotional leakage 👉 How disorganized attachment fuels people-pleasing 👉 The connection between parental infidelity and fear of abandonment 👉 Building awareness to break generational attachment cycles If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam  Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist: 1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

Exploring the complexities of Quiet Disorganized Attachment, Adam delves into its isolating effects on relationships. He reveals how childhood trauma shapes this hidden style and often eludes psychological identification. Distinguishing between loud and quiet expressions, he highlights the perfectionism and private despair faced by those affected. Listeners learn actionable steps for healing and the possibility of transformation, emphasizing the importance of safe relationships and practical skills for understanding and support.

What happens when an avoidant man confronts harsh emotional realities? The discussion tackles childhood trauma impacting relationships and jealousy issues in a unique light. Emotional shutdowns and the need for control are examined, revealing how they hinder intimacy. The host emphasizes building trust and emotional safety, exploring tools to reframe criticism positively. Insights on teaching without intimidation and practical feedback delivery unfold alongside strategies for co-regulation—crafted to strengthen their bond.

In this engaging discussion, Adam Lane Smith, an attachment specialist and relationship coach, dives into the complexities of avoidant men and their struggles with love. He explains how avoidant attachment forms and its hidden stressors, while contrasting it with secure attachment styles. Adam shares insights on disorganized attachment, variations in avoidant behaviors, and practical steps to foster secure connections. Highlighting neuroplasticity, he emphasizes that transformation is possible at any age, providing hope and strategies for healthier relationships.

Adam Lane Smith, an attachment specialist and coach, dives into why avoidant men struggle with emotional closeness. He discusses the 'cone of death' metaphor, illustrating how stress can hinder connection. Adam shares practical tools for couples, including breathing techniques and the importance of intentional validation. He delves into the chronic dissatisfaction avoidant men feel and how partners can foster a nurturing environment. Learn about shifting from stress to relaxation for improved intimacy and the role of authentic compliments in strengthening relationships.