I Wish You Knew

Patrick Coffin, Catholic broadcaster and close-up magician, explores why modern dating fails and what humans actually need. He links attachment styles to images of God, explains the biochemical roots of bonding, and traces three historic splits that weakened relationships. Expect discussion of ritual, emotional permanence, repair after conflict, and even a live magic moment.

Dr. Chris Lee, a neuroscience researcher specializing in men's mental health, unpacks the harsh truth about loneliness and its deadly effects on men's lives. He reveals how our brains, especially the amygdala, can exaggerate threats due to insecure attachments. Scheduling feelings might be unconventional, but it's an effective method for emotional regulation. Chris shares his personal journey with grief and emphasizes the importance of community support in tackling loneliness, along with practical self-regulation techniques to foster emotional safety.

Dr. Orion Taraban, a licensed psychologist and bestselling author, explores the psychology behind relationships and attachment. He discusses how love-bombing reveals hidden dynamics in dating and why modern courtship often misses the mark. The conversation highlights the neurochemistry of attraction, commitment, and the vital balance needed for long-lasting relationships. With insights on the role of vasopressin and the importance of shared purpose, Dr. Taraban challenges conventional beliefs about monogamy and encourages redefining relationship goals for deeper connections.

Krista Williams, a relationship coach and creator of the Almost 30 podcast, shares insights on combating loneliness through meaningful friendships. She explains how relying solely on a partner for emotional needs can lead to feelings of isolation. Krista discusses the importance of friendships for building secure attachments and managing intimacy demands. They explore how friendships foster growth and identity, the need for conflict resolution, and the biological aspects of bonding. Ultimately, they advocate for nurturing a supportive community to enrich emotional well-being.

Kelsey Wonderlin, a dating coach and creator of the Magnetic Dating Lab, joins Adam Lane Smith to explore the pitfalls women face in dating. They discuss the dangers of attaching too quickly, ignoring red flags, and waiting too long for crucial conversations. Kelsey shares insights on the importance of emotional literacy and setting boundaries, while emphasizing the need to view relationships as partnerships rather than caretaker roles. They stress using intentional vetting questions to foster meaningful connections and ensure mutual values.

Adam Schafer, a fitness entrepreneur and co-founder of Mind Pump, shares his insights on the pivotal choice of selecting the right partner for men. He discusses how leadership and respect foster loyalty in relationships. Schafer highlights the damaging effects of nagging and emphasizes the importance of positive reinforcement. He presents the Executive Partner model, encouraging couples to collaborate rather than compete. Exploring the biochemical benefits of teamwork, he suggests that mutual problem-solving strengthens bonds and that self-improvement precedes dating.

Quentin Hafner, a therapist specializing in masculine leadership, dives into why 50/50 marriages often fail. He explores how this model creates resentment and the importance of men assuming responsibility in their relationships. Quentin reveals that true leadership in marriage strengthens intimacy and trust, advocating for a CEO model where men lead, allowing their partners to thrive. He emphasizes that actions, not feelings, are the key to demonstrating love and sustaining a successful marriage. It's a compelling listen for anyone looking to enhance their marital dynamics.

In this engaging conversation, physician-scientist Nick Norwitz shares his expertise on how relationship stress can harm our health. He discusses how emotional conflict spikes cortisol, causing blood sugar issues and long-term metabolic risks. The duo explores the evolutionary perspective on social threats, oxytocin's calming effects, and how stress affects our relationships. They also highlight the importance of validation and understanding in communication, revealing how clear connections can heal emotional wounds and strengthen bonds.

Danielle Hage, a seasoned relationship expert and speaker, shares insights from her 45-year marriage. She emphasizes the importance of emotional safety and masculine leadership within partnerships. Danielle discusses how men’s ability to listen and provide security fosters trust and unity. She highlights the shared responsibilities in marriage, particularly the need for respect and support from women. Practical strategies for effective communication and vulnerability are also covered, inspiring couples to deepen their emotional connection.

Guest Trevor Hansen, a former therapist and content creator, dives into the world of anxious attachment and its impact on relationships. He humorously highlights how anxious men often signal low safety through their nervous behaviors and eagerness. Trevor shares his personal journey from anxious dating to coaching others on building confidence through boundaries and accountability. They discuss the biological underpinnings of attachment and emphasize shifting from a victim to a hero mindset as a key to improving romantic connections.