I Wish You Knew

Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist and bestselling author, shares her insights on the transformative power of the mind over the brain. She debunks the 21-day myth, introducing her 63-day approach to reshape thoughts and relationships. Discover how trauma is processed in the mind before being stored in the brain, and learn about the importance of understanding attachment styles. Dr. Leaf provides practical strategies to deconstruct harmful patterns, emphasizing that real change requires commitment and self-awareness.

What does it really feel like to live with disorganized attachment? In this episode, Adam welcomes Amy Moore, who shares her story of navigating survival mode, struggling with both avoidance and anxiety, and learning how to begin her healing journey. Topics Covered: 👉 Amy’s experience with disorganized attachment and “survival mode” 👉 How attachment styles shift between avoidance (single) and anxiety (in relationships) 👉 The role of parenting and how her daughter perceives her healing journey 👉 Why emotional safety and oxytocin bonding are critical in relationships 👉 How trauma from infancy and childhood affects adult attachment patterns 👉 The freeze response and how it’s often misinterpreted as indifference 👉 Practical steps for repair: asking questions, sharing context, and creating safe communication 👉 The importance of forgiveness, self-awareness, and building trust with 2–3 close connections If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam  Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist: 1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

Max Trombly, who guides men towards emotional growth through supportive circles, shares profound insights into overcoming emotional numbness. He discusses the hidden emotional struggles men face and why purpose is crucial for growth. The conversation emphasizes the importance of emotional intimacy in relationships and how resentment can damage connections. Max also explores the transformative role of women in sparking masculine development and the necessity of mutual respect for healing. This exchange offers valuable tools for men seeking deeper connections and fulfillment.

Dr. Orion Taraban, a psychologist and relationship expert with a popular YouTube channel, discusses why many modern men struggle with intimacy. He highlights the importance of healing before engaging in relationships and how emotional dependency can mirror addictive behaviors. The conversation dives into the complexities of negotiating intimacy and the often transactional nature of emotional support. Taraban also tackles why individuals remain in unhealthy relationships and the misunderstandings shaped by attachment styles, ultimately encouraging greater self-awareness and communication.

This episode explores why some men struggle to say “I love you” even when they truly feel it. It is not always about a lack of love.  It is often about emotional wiring, past experiences, and how they process vulnerability. By understanding these deeper reasons, you can navigate the silence with more clarity and compassion.  Topics Covered:  👉 Emotional barriers that block verbal expressions of love 👉 How upbringing and past relationships shape communication patterns 👉 The role of attachment styles in expressing affection 👉 Why actions sometimes speak louder than words for certain men 👉 Healthy ways to navigate and respond when “I love you” is hard to say If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love '5 Harsh Truths About Marriage I Would Tell My Daughter. Watch here: https://youtu.be/lnZweecoi6k   Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam  Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist: 1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

Quiet disorganized attachment can make modern women feel invisible—shutting down out of fear of being “too much,” even when all they want is to be seen and loved. In this episode, Dawn Dubelbeis opens up about the impact of childhood trauma and how her attachment style shaped her adult relationships. Alongside Adam, they unpack the path of how to build connection from a place of safety, not survival. Topics Covered  👉 How quiet disorganized attachment shows up in adult relationships 👉 Why women with this attachment style often feel invisible or “too much” 👉 The biological role of vasopressin and oxytocin in bonding 👉 The shutdown response: why emotions go numb and conflict feels unsafe 👉 The cost of not asking for help—and how to start 👉 Using emotional check-ins and clarity to build connection 👉 What secure men actually need from women (and why silence confuses them) 👉 How to create an emotionally safe, sustainable relationship 👉 Turning your nervous system from shutdown to connection 👉 Making your life inhospitable to avoidant partners—and safe for the right ones If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love '5 Harsh Truths About Marriage I Would Tell My Daughter. Watch here: https://youtu.be/lnZweecoi6k   Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam  Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist: 1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social  Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

Explore the often-ignored freeze attachment style and its impact on relationships. Discover how childhood trauma shapes emotional responses, leading to shutdowns in communication. Hear personal stories of healing after narcissistic abuse, and learn to nurture connections despite emotional challenges. The conversation dives into parenting teens with varied attachment needs and offers practical tools for better emotional expressions. Reframe your identity and rebuild self-worth as you navigate the complexities of intimacy.

What does it take for an avoidant man to truly feel secure in love? The conversation dives into how emotional safety fosters commitment, debunking misconceptions about pressure. Oxytocin's impact on connection, along with the role of magnesium and sleep, is surprisingly crucial. Routines help avoidant individuals feel grounded, while addressing fears of loneliness prompts introspection. Learn to respond to emotional bids like a secure partner and discover how to nurture long-term love through continuous growth and effective communication.

Avoidant men aren’t emotionally distant by choice. Their detachment is often a survival response wired deep into the brain. In this episode, Adam breaks down how avoidant men develop this style of relating, why avoidant men often carry it into adulthood, and most importantly how to help avoidant men heal for good. Topics covered: 👉 The brain science behind avoidant men and emotional shutdown 👉 Why avoidant men experience burnout, disconnection, and chronic stress 👉 The role of vasopressin bonding in helping avoidant men build trust 👉 Why securely attached partners often trigger avoidant men 👉 How avoidant men can rewire their brains through real world emotional experiences 👉 The shame core driving avoidant men since childhood 👉 Step by step strategies to help avoidant men build emotional safety 👉 How avoidant men struggle with intimacy, relationships, and legacy 👉 What partners of avoidant men need to understand 👉 Tools, supplements, and lifestyle shifts that support healing for avoidant men If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Why She Doesn’t Want You (Even If She Loves You) '. Watch here:  https://youtu.be/aUMUEbwcVuo Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website:    https://iwishyouknew.show/    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/   Tiktok:        https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow    Snapchat:  https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod    Twitter /X:  https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod   Spotify:      https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI   Apple:        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809   ------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/   Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg      Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/   Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith   Threads:   https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam   Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there.

In this episode, Andrey shares how he went from emotionally avoidant to fully committed in marriage. He breaks down the exact values, mindset shifts, and moments that made him stay.  Adam and Andrey explore how real love forms not through perfection, but through shared vision and integrity. This is a blueprint for building lasting connection with an avoidant man. Topics Covered: 👉 What makes an avoidant man choose commitment 👉 How to build lasting love with an avoidant man 👉 The values that made her “the one” 👉 Why a woman’s boundaries increase attraction 👉 How she helped him cross the dopamine crash 👉 What avoidant men secretly need to trust 👉 The power of shared vision, timelines, and direction 👉 Why self-abandonment ruins real connection If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Why She Doesn’t Want You (Even If She Loves You) '. Watch here:  https://youtu.be/aUMUEbwcVuo Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website:    https://iwishyouknew.show/    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/   Tiktok:        https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow    Snapchat:  https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod    Twitter /X:  https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod   Spotify:      https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI   Apple:        https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809   ------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/   Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg      Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/   Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith   Threads:   https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam   Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there.