
It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People
Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.
They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life!
Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way?
In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid.
And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.
Latest episodes

Dec 14, 2023 • 29min
Falsely Blamed? How to Protect Yourself and Respond
Learn strategies for reducing the risk of being blamed and managing false accusations. The hosts provide tips for responding to false blame and correcting misinformation, while avoiding escalation. Discover the importance of recognizing high conflict personalities and providing factual information when needed. This episode empowers listeners to protect themselves in high conflict situations.

Dec 7, 2023 • 55min
Civil Communications for Lawyers and Law Offices
Guest Rehana Jamal discusses strategies for clear and civil communication in the legal field. The episode focuses on the BIFF method for responding to emotionally-charged messages, highlighting how it builds relationships and saves time. They emphasize that small changes in communication can transform legal conflicts and prevent escalation. The hosts provide practical tools, such as the BIFF framework, for lawyers and court staff to use right away.

Nov 23, 2023 • 24min
Grief Over the Death of a High Conflict Loved One
This episode discusses coping with complex emotions when a high conflict loved one dies, including feeling a mix of grief and relief. They address being blamed by the deceased and the destabilization of a high conflict adult child when losing a parent. The podcast also delves into conflicts during probate and emphasizes setting reasonable goals and finding the positive in difficult people.

Nov 16, 2023 • 28min
The Art of Mindful Engagement: Using EAR Statements Judiciously
Discover how to effectively de-escalate high conflict people using EAR statements. Learn about different high conflict personality types and when EAR statements can be useful. Find out how EAR statements combined with limit setting can shift tense interactions. Understand the importance of safety and not overusing empathy with manipulative personalities. Explore the power of using EAR statements to foster empathy and respect, support individuals with challenging personality traits, and prioritize personal safety in conversations.

Nov 9, 2023 • 24min
Floundering Into Adulthood: Overcoming Alienation and Parents with Personality Disorders
Bill and Megan discuss the challenges young adults face when launching into independent adulthood after growing up with a high-conflict parent. They explore the impact of social media on young people, the struggles they face in finding direction and purpose, and the importance of mentors and healthy social connections. They also discuss the experiences of young individuals with parents with personality disorders and provide strategies for overcoming depression and finding resilience.

Nov 2, 2023 • 24min
When Grandkids Get Caught in High Conflict
In this episode, the hosts provide advice for grandparents dealing with high conflict co-parents. They discuss strategies for shielding kids, co-parenting long-term, and getting expert evaluation for custody cases. They also emphasize the importance of minimizing damage as kids grow up by exposing them to positive role models.

Oct 26, 2023 • 35min
Manipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder
Podcast hosts discuss spotting antisocial personality disorder, clarifying myths and patterns. They cover recognizing antisocial traits in a spouse, seeing patterns across generations, and comparing antisocial and narcissistic behaviors. Key takeaways include the importance of pattern awareness, the strong genetic link to antisocial personality, and the distinction between lying and exaggeration. Skepticism is advised when encountering deception.

Oct 19, 2023 • 25min
Surviving High Conflict Divorce, Custody Battles, and Parental Alienation
Experts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy answer listener questions on high conflict divorce and co-parenting. They discuss finalizing divorce with a self-unaware ex, mediating with an inflexible ex-spouse, and coping with extreme parental alienation. Key takeaways: don't expect self-awareness from high-conflict people, choose battles wisely, set firm limits on fruitless mediation, recognize and address alienating behaviors proactively.

Oct 12, 2023 • 23min
Over the Fence: High Conflict Neighbor Disputes
This podcast discusses strategies for dealing with high conflict neighbor disputes, including responding to false allegations, using mediation, and recruiting a helpful ally. Key takeaways include avoiding arguments, involving a lawyer when needed, and the importance of participation in decision-making during mediation.

Oct 5, 2023 • 25min
Family Feuds: Navigating High Conflict Personality Clashes
This podcast explores high-conflict family dynamics and discusses topics such as helping children with emotion dysregulation, responding to false allegations of causing a spouse's personality disorder, managing emotions from a young age, recognizing unique personality traits of twins, understanding borderline personality disorder and PTSD, and handling accusations and projections from high conflict people.
Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts
Save insights instantly, chat with episodes, and build lasting knowledge - all powered by AI.