Relationship Coaching School Podcast

Is it okay to have expectations in relationships? My answer is nuanced. It’s a YES, and it’s a No. Listen to this short podcast and discover the six expectations that I think are totally reasonable to have in a relationship, especially a partnership. Shownotes:   (2:35) 6 reasonable expectations in relationships (4:50) Fairness (5:50) Feeling emotionally safe (7:35) Respect (8:50) Mutual Contribution (10:00) Solving problems together (11:05) Knowing and understanding each other (13:35) Action step   Useful Links:   https://relationshipschool.com/community

One of my mentors, Dan Siegel, is back on the podcast for his 3rd interview.  This time, we dive deep into attachment-based parenting. Dan’s work, which my wife and I study intently, is how I parent my own children. The cool thing about Dan is what a nerd he is around research-based approaches and information.  We cover the 4 S’s from his “Power of Showing Up” book. It’s so good.  Check it out and please apply this to your own parenting (if you are one).    Shownotes: 3:25: Introduction Dan Siegel 4:40: How kids’ behavior is different in this day and age. 7:30: New parenting challenges 14:15: About secure attachment 22:00: The 4 S’s 24:25:Safety 28:05: Seen 30:00 Soothe 31:10 Security 33:10 Attachment and parenting roles 38:10: Research about secure attachment in kids and adolescents 42:50: It’s possible to provide secure attachment even in parents who didn’t have it 45:40: Action step   Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/connected Dan Siegel's website The Power Of Showing Up Attachment from infancy to adulthood

I first got introduced to Ken Wilber when I was in grad school. The guy’s mind is insanely brilliant. He takes a lot of maps of human development and consciousness and weaves them together in what he calls integral theory. My guest on this week’s podcast is Keith Witt. He’s worked with Ken for years.  We dig into Relationships of course, but from an integral lens. I ask him about the common relationship dynamic where one person claims they are more “developed” than the other What do we do? Interesting answers to come. Check it out.   Shownotes:   4:35: Introduction Keith Witt 11:20: What is “Integral” 14:00 Looking at relationships in an Integral way 18:20 The importance of lines of development for relationships 29:30 How the adaptive unconscious interferes with your personal growth 37:20 How people can learn to be self-aware and evolve 45:10 Lines of development that can help you on long-term relationship USEFUL LINKS DR. Keith Witt Website Book: Shadow Light: Illuminations at the Edge of Darkness Book: Integral Mindfulness: Clueless to Dialed in - How Integral Mindful Living Makes Everything  Book: THE GIFT OF SHAME: Why We Need Shame and How To Use it To Love and Grow 100 reasons not to have the secret affair: Keith Witt at TEDxAmericanRiviera http://relationshipschool.com/connected  

If you or someone you love suffers from PTSD check this out.   According to the American Psychiatric Association, PTSD can be a disabling condition that impacts about 3.5 percent of U.S. adults. And women are twice as likely as men to have PTSD. Eeek.  Trauma is everywhere and I think most of us have experienced it at some point in our lives.  That’s why I like to interview folks on the subject.  My friend Arielle goes deep in this episode and defines both trauma and PTSD.    Shownotes: (3:15) Introduction Arielle Schwartz (12:05) The body vs the mind on personal growth (12:25) About PTSD (21:20) The importance of being present (28:55) How to know if you are experiencing PTSD (33:10) How to develop resiliency    https://drarielleschwartz.com/ 43:20) Action Step

Do you have needs? Do you own them? Or do you know you have needs, but then you get scared to ask for them to be met because you're afraid the other person will leave? Understandable. Most people are used to sequestering their needs in exchange for scraps of connection. Please don't do this.   I've done a lot of work with my own needs to determine that I do in fact have them in an adult partnership, and that i'm unwilling to not have them met. I'm also willing to offer these needs to my wife forever. Most people pretend they don't have needs in a partnership because being "needy" is bad in this culture.   But I'm here to let you know you have 4 needs that are not negotiable if you want to really go for it and create a secure partnership over time.   What are they? 1. Feeling safe 2. Feeling seen 3. Feeling soothed 4. Feeling supported/challenged   Think I'm crazy? Just listen as I unpack each one and I think you'll get the idea. Enjoy this short podcast episode and share with a friend who thinks they don't have needs! lol.   Shownotes:   (2:35) The 4 needs for security in a long-term relationship (4:20) How to recognize an insecure relationship (7:30) Feeling Safe (8:15) Feeling Seen (9:15) Feeling Soothed (10:20) Felling supported and challenged   Useful Links: Apply for our 9 month training (DPIR) Monogamy & the Smart Couple Facebook Group

What is men's work? Most people are unclear what this term means, but once you find out, you'll be cheering on men who are involved in it. In this podcast, I interview one of the key players in the largest men's organizations in the world. We cover some very intimate subjects, including #metoo, fatherhood, and the power of getting together as men.   Shownotes:   (3:35) Introduction (7:20) About Men’s Work (10:55) Male relationships inside a family (14:50) What is Men’s Work (20:10) How a man can get out of his “Boy code” programming. (25:40) How trauma causes addictions that keep you stuck (31:10) How Men’s Work is getting more Popular (37:50) Thoughts about the #MeToo movement (43:25) Boysen’s experience as a father https://mankindproject.org/ https://twitter.com/boysenh?lang=en (53:15) Action step  

Your closest relationships will end one day. Other than dying, do you know the 2 most common reasons relationships end? Listen here to find out and leave a comment below or in our FB group. This one can get people stirred up.   Shownotes: (1:55) 2 main reasons why relationships end (3:30) Outgrowing your partner (6:20) Not being able to handle yourself or your partner (11:20) “Falling out of love” Useful Links: https://www.facebook.com/groups/749008838533400/ https://relationshipschool.com/dpir/

Joan Borysenko is an amazing woman who has some wonderful life lessons around resiliency, making meaning, and developing safety in your relationship life. In this podcast, you'll learn how to dig deep into your self-belief, overcome victimhood, and increase connection. Joan's stories are an inspiring demonstration of the human spirit.   Shownotes: 4:40 Introduction Joan Borysenko 16:45 What makes people resilient in life 24:00 The importance of relationships for healing and growing 36:10 What makes a successful relationship 40:20 How to handle stress and frustration with your partner 47:00 Advice on how to get through difficult times in our lives 56:50 Raising kids in this day and age https://www.joanborysenko.com/ 1:04:45 Action step   Useful Links: https://www.joanborysenko.com/ Apply for our 9 month training (DPIR)   Free Gift from Joan Borysenko to Jayson's listeners: 3 Prescriptions for Love Medicine Mind Body Tools to Strengthen Self-Love and Self-Compassion, the Foundations of All Your Relationships.   Go to https://www.joanborysenko.com/other/lovemedicine/   And you'll be directed to the free gift.

Do you check your phone all day long? Have you ever tried to speak to someone about something important only to have them distracted by their phone or something else? It sucks. These days, we have endless distractions. So, how do we stay oriented to what matters, and how do we not let our business distract us away from the relationships we care most about? Well, I found someone who knows a lot about this stuff and interviewed him. His insights are a breath of fresh air. And, he says it's all about getting systematized and setting boundaries. Listen now.   Do you check your phone all day long? Have you ever tried to speak to someone about something important only to have them distracted by their phone or something else? It sucks. These days, we have endless distractions. So, how do we stay oriented to what matters, and how do we not let our business distract us away from the relationships we care most about? Well, I found someone who knows a lot about this stuff and interviewed him. His insights are a breath of fresh air. And, he says it's all about getting systematized and setting boundaries. Listen now. SHOWNOTES: (3:10) Introduction Nir Eyal (10:10) What it means to be “distracted” (14:50): Why we get distracted (22:30) Strategies how to get less distracted in our lives (35:05) Final advice: Planning to avoid distractions https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07SV4V6ZK/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 (39:05) Action step  Useful Links:  https://www.nirandfar.com/ https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07SV4V6ZK/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 https://www.nirandfar.com/indistractable/?utm_source=indistractable.com&utm_medium=redirect https://nirandfar.com/schedule-maker/ https://www.niandfar.com/distractions/ https://www.nirandfar.com/habits/ https://www.nirandfar.com/skill-of-the-future/  

Do you have someone in your life who when you try to help them, they just won't follow through? I mean, you have really good advice and insight, but it doesn't go anywhere. Or maybe you have a friend or family member that needs help but no matter how hard you try, they won't get help. If so, listen to this one. Shownotes: (2:30) How to help someone you care about who doesn’t listen to your advice (6:05) 2 Practical techniques to help others (11:30) Action Step https://lp.relationshipschool.com/yourfuture