Kuldrin's Krypt A BDSM 101 Podcast

Recorded and Published: February 16, 2019I love being reviewed by anyone who will provide constructive feedback, So when My Mentor, Dave Jackson from http://SchoolOfPodcasting.com gave me a horse whinny (which is a good thing) I had to share it with you, my faithful Krypters!http://www.podcastrodeoshow.com/kuldrins-krypt-a-bdsm-101-podcast/If you are interested in starting your own show and want to do it the right way: https://www.theschoolofpodcasting.com/?ref=fb004dContact info:Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275Fb: Kuldrin Fire https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.fireTwitter: @MasterKuldrin https://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfire https://www.instagram.com/kuldrinfire/Patreon: kuldrinskrypt https://www.patreon.com/KuldrinsKryptPaypal: MasterKuldrin http://paypal.me/masterkuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourceLimits and Interest Survey: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/survey

Kuldrin's Krypt: Patreon Producer’s ONLYPlay Journal, Thoughts on S02E08, and Inside My HeadRecorded & Published: Jan. 30, 2019Welcome to the Kuldrin’s Krypt Patreon Producer’s ONLY Ep. 1Today I have some playtime to talk about, some thoughts about my last episode which was S02E08, and finally, I’m going to dive inside my own head about what the future might have in store for Me.Play Journal:1: Playing with a newbie friend of my sub2: New Year’s Eve3: Having some fun with my Play Partner4: Service Topping a man5: Play at the local dungeonThoughts on S02E081: Self ControlGoing inside my head about the future1: Work2: Personal3: Mayfair4: The showA final note or two.I’d like to thank our Executive Producers Jeremiah, Sihlus, Jess, and ArcaneDgr & violetaurelia. Our Sr. Producers Matt and xEmeraldxWolfx. Our Producers Kainsin, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKay and RoxieBear. And our Jr. Producers K-2SO, BuffaloDom84, Painwaits, LxSoumis, and Hayley. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275Fb: Kuldrin Fire https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.fireTwitter: @MasterKuldrin https://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfire https://www.instagram.com/kuldrinfire/Patreon: kuldrinskrypt https://www.patreon.com/KuldrinsKryptPaypal: MasterKuldrin http://paypal.me/masterkuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourceLimits and Interest Survey: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/survey This has been Master Kuldrin for the Krypters...the producers who continue to help me "Unearth the Truth"

Recorded: 1/20/2019 / Published: 1/23/2019Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kudrinskrypt.comSpecial thanks to Rushguy1969 for recommending this topic!For full show notes visit https://kuldrinskrypt.com/208First, a deep into the woods about nurturing positive dominant qualities within one's self. First, I am going to give you a tool to help you figure out what you are already dealing with.Second, I’m going to share with you the things that I feel should be commonly found character traits for those on the left side of the slash...if not both.[1:04] Rules to Love by:Safe, sane, consensual, and informedKNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young[1:28] PAD Temperament Mode ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PAD_emotional_state_model )In order to know the best things in oneself to nurture we first need to know what is already there. For this, we are going to take a look at the PAD emotional state model which today typical is only used for marketing and developing multidimensional animated characters...but hey, if you can give a cartoon layered emotions and make them come alive on the silver screen with this then it has to have some kind of credibility and usability for us, right? ...[4:25] PleasureThe Pleasure-Displeasure Scale measures how pleasant or unpleasant one feels about something. For instance, both anger and fear are unpleasant emotions and both score on the displeasure side. However, joy is a pleasant emotion.[4:57] ArousalThe Arousal-Nonarousal Scale measures how energized or soporific one feels. It is not the intensity of the emotion -- for grief and depression can be low arousal intense feelings. While both anger and rage are unpleasant emotions, rage has a higher intensity or a higher arousal state. However, boredom, which is also an unpleasant state, has a low arousal value.[5:43] DominanceThe Dominance-Submissiveness Scale represents the controlling and dominant versus controlled or submissive one feels. For instance, while both fear and anger are unpleasant emotions, anger is a dominant emotion, while fear is a submissive emotion.So now, how do these three things tie together in determining what is what? Let’s say that something happened and you became angry. You would give the emotion of anger values for each of the three sections of the PAD emotional state model. For some this might look like this: Anger is a quite unpleasant, quite aroused, and moderately dominant emotion. While for others it might like: Anger is moderately pleasant, mildly aroused, and mildly dominant emotion.Now, use all this in emotions and environmental situations. This means that you are not just looking at the feeling itself but also taking a look a specific setting, with certain people at a restaurant, in a dungeon, … the locations, situations, and emotions is an endless sea of possibilities so this is one of those life exercises that you will need to constantly and consistently come back to for further exploration but be careful not to burn yourself out on it as it can also be pretty exhausting.[10:23] Ok, so now that you have examined a few emotions using the PAD emotional state model, what have you figured out about yourself? Where do you need to the most work? The areas where the arousal is high that it creates a situation out of your control might be a good place to start along with anything that causes debilitating anxiety, stress, or depression.[11:41] “...and...how do I go about doing this?”, you ask. There are several ways. The first thing I would do is check out the NCSF website ( https://www.ncsfreedom.org/ ) to see if they are any kink-friendly therapist in your area.The second thing I would do, besides actually make and attend the appointment with an open mind, is check out some books that are written to help with the specific areas you are having difficulties with or that you want to change. However, keep in mind that things don’t happen overnight and it is always best to tackle a few smaller projects back to back first to build a sense of security within yourself. Otherwise, it is incredibly easy and common to get lost in the process which means you will give up and fail. You and I both know that the worst thing about failing at something is that it often prevents us from moving to the next things because we start thinking that we will just fail at that as well. So, again, you’ve got your list now it’s time to start small.The third thing is to, you guessed it, communicate!!! You are changing yourself at your core and the people around you need to know this is happening. There is nothing worse than worrying about someone day in and day out because they are acting differently but they refuse to tell you why. I have lost friendships and had difficulties with family members from both changing and being the one wondering what was going on with the other person. If you don’t know about it, it is frustrating and will cause fights. Again, you are changing your entire foundation.[14:46] Commonly found character traits in EFFECTIVE Dominants with a history of successful relationships. (and honestly, these are also commonly found in effective submissives with a history of successful relationships.1: Self-awareness2: Effective Communication: (See also https://kuldrinskrypt.com/s01e24 )3: Patience4: A realistic view of self, others, the world, and situations5: Leadership6: Honesty7: Loyalty8: The desire for education and growth9: The ability to grow10: Kindness/Politeness11: Compassion12: Self-control13: Integrity14: A sense of humor15: Generosity [39:44] A final note or two:I’d like to thank our Executive Producers Jeremiah, Sihlus, Jess, and ArcaneDgr & violetaurelia. Our Sr. Producers Matt, xEmeraldxWolfx and Feline_Rouge. Our Producers Kainsin, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKay and RoxieBear. And our Jr. Producers K-2SO, BuffaloDom84, Painwaits, LxSoumis, and Hayley. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.BDSM contracts for the donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.[40:35] A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT TO ALL HTTPS://PATREON.COM/KULDRINSKRYPT SHOW PRODUCERS:Coming soon:Weekly Patron ONLY WEEKLY EPISODES!!!Regular vlog play journals!!!Happening now: Monthly online munches!!!NEXT WEEK’S AGENDANext time on The Krypt ??? In the meantime go to https://kuldrinskrypt.com for show notes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Fetlife group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to become a Patreon supporter.Contact info:Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275Fb: Kuldrin Fire https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.fireTwitter: @MasterKuldrin https://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfire https://www.instagram.com/kuldrinfire/Patreon: kuldrinskrypt https://www.patreon.com/KuldrinsKryptPaypal: MasterKuldrin http://paypal.me/masterkuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourceLimits and Interest Survey: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/surveyThis has been Master Kuldrin for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth

(For complete show notes https://kuldrinskrypt.com/207 )Recorded: January 7, 2019 / Published: January 8, 2019865-268-4005 / https://kudrinskrypt.comOn this episode: Acceptance within the BDSM Community.[0:43] Rules to Love by[1:10] Krypter:I’ve heard you say on the show that if anyone has questions to write you and I’ve had one for a while that I’m hoping you can help with. Like I said earlier we are relatively new to being out in the community and have been welcomed into to the three local private dungeons in our area. One about 20 minutes from our home the others over an hour away in separate directions. We have a very small core group of people and they all basically take turns hosting events and play parties. The problem we are running into is that about 85% of the people are poly (which we are completely fine with it’s just not for us) and they all play amongst themselves and Master and I only play with each other. We both have explained nicely on multiple occasions that we don’t play with others and are strictly monogamous and a little bit about why. However, they aren’t really accepting that. It also states the same thing on both of our Fetlife profiles. I’ve even had individuals make comments at a vanilla baby shower hosted at one dungeon about giving it time and they’d change my song and I’d join their poly group. So the question is beyond driving 2 hours to a large city which is prohibitive due to children, cost and restrictions due to opposite days off work what does a couple do? The only options we can come up with are: distance ourselves from the local community and only play at home again, drive to a larger city if and when we can schedule it, or continue to put up with the comments/reiterate our stand at every event. Please don’t get me wrong these are very nice individuals and have been happy to accept us into the fold. We just don’t know how to handle the constant inquiries without being downright rude and/or being rejected by the group. Thank you for taking the time to read my email, having such a wonderful show and being such a driving force of safety and understanding in the community.[4:23] Kuldrin:You stated these are good people so it sounds as though they are being playful but also serious in their attempt to change your marriage and dynamic. If it were me, because I tend to be very direct and outgoing, I would pick a munch or gathering where most or all would be and stand together with my sub, get everyone's attention, and then say something like..."Good evening everyone! First, my sub Mayfair and I would like to thank you all for being so welcoming as we have ventured out from the bedroom and into this wonderful local community. She and I never expected to make such wonderful friends and have such great experiences and We thank you all for that. From toys to types of play...it makes us excited to continue this journey together. Speaking of, there is one thing that is making us uncomfortable. We respect everyone's dynamic and seeing all the different ways people are together and play. However, there seems to be a lot of pressure and comments that we should try poly...and that just is not our dynamic. Also, by us stating we are not poly and some continuing to push, we feel as though our hard limits are being pushed without either of us consenting to it. We respect that way of doing things but we don't feel the respect in return...like we are judged for such a "vanilla" marriage dynamic like monogamy. Please understand, we know that no one has done this to make us uncomfortable but we do feel strongly that if people continue to disrespect our marriage by trying to convince us to convert to a poly lifestyle we will have to take our fun back behind the comfort and security of our own closed doors."I would say it with the nicest, yet most sincere and stern tone possible as to offer respect but command authority.[6:36] Krypter:I am sorry to hear that you’ve dealt with a similar issue recently and I hope whatever you did has helped the situation. I think doing an episode on this type of thing would be an excellent idea and I’m sure it would help quite a few people. I imagine it would work for most any situation that people are pushing their agendas on others. Situations like the poly issue, problems with someone pushing you to try a kink because they love it (that’s been an issue also, unfortunately), swinging and I’m sure countless others that I’m not even aware are options. I loved your speech and definitely heard your voice in my head while reading it and can’t wait to hear what else you have to say on the episode if it come I to existence. And if we can do anything to help you with the podcast let my master or I know.[7:27] Kuldrin:Really, when you think about it, it comes down to communication...as it almost always does. If they are joking but serious they may not realize that what they are saying is pushy, rude, inappropriate, judgy, etc. Also, they are like most people who think about consent on the terms of physical actions like sex or the use of impact toys. Even when consent is thought about when it comes to words most people just think about humiliation, degradation, and honorifics when in fact it's also being pushy, being intrusive, being obtuse, ... most people, myself included, are guilty of doing this but when it was brought to my attention...welp...you just can't unlearn things once they're stuck in the noodle.[8:15] I’m curious about the experience of others that have dealt with this, how you handled it and the outcome. Email me your stories and be sure to include if I can share them.[8:31] A brief recap. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut.”[9:29] Another thing I feel I need to talk to you about is something that happened at a party. A brand new couple came into the middle of a conversation and immediately left because of what they heard. There were a few interracial couples and few singles scattered about in a living room having a rather comical conversation about their lives and the weird things that happen in all relationships, gay, straight, interracial or other and the couple that entered late into the chat packed up and bailed on the party. Later they texted the person that had sponsored them to be there stating that they felt someone of a minority heritage was being made fun of and referenced two people that were doing it. The party host was very concerned about this type of behavior in their house and immediately sought out that truth of the situation.The truth was far from the couple that had left’s perception. The two interracial couples were actually leading the conversation, everyone involved was very close friends, and the main comment made in question was actually said by a very sweet slightly older lady that was quoting a comedian. Oh, and a tattoo that was said to be an S.S. tattoo was a pagan symbol.[11:21] So what is my point? [16:47] So, in wrapping up this topic... (For complete show notes https://kuldrinskrypt.com/207 )I’d like to thank our Executive Producers Jeremiah, Sihlus, Jess, and ArcaneDgr & violetaurelia. Our Sr. Producers Matt and xEmeraldxWolfx. Our Producers Kainsin, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKay and RoxieBear. And our Jr. Producers K-2SO, BuffaloDom84, Painwaits, LxSoumis, and Hayley. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts for their donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.And finally, I’d like to thank http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275Fb: Kuldrin Fire https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.fireTwitter: @MasterKuldrin https://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfire https://www.instagram.com/kuldrinfire/Patreon: kuldrinskrypt https://www.patreon.com/KuldrinsKryptPaypal: MasterKuldrin http://paypal.me/masterkuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourceLimits and Interest Survey: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/survey

Recorded: Dec. 16, 2018Published: Dec. 27, 2018https://kuldrinskrypt.com/206Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kudrinskrypt.comOn this episode of the Krypt we are speaking with psychotherapist Steven Ing about your magic sex number, Talking to your children about sex, BDSM and religion and much more. [1:05] TEDx Talk: What’s Your Magic Sex Number” http://stevening.com/events/tedx-university-nevada-2018 How many times a week do you prefer to have sex?No matter what your answer is, you are normal.[8:26] Rules to Love by:Safe, sane, consensual, and informedKNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young[9:20] THow to have the pre-relationship interview.[14:10] Sexual intimacy.[17:30] Therapist assigning biases. [18:25] Sex and power? Does that feed the sexual appetite? “Everything in life is about sex except itself sex its self which about power.” -Oscar Wilde[21:00] Swingers and the sexual appetite, power, and the divorce rate.[27:25] People who are constitutionally incapable of intimacy.Personality disorders, addictions, other mental illnesses: 25%[28:45] What is true intimacy and sexual intimacy?[31:05] The puritanical viewpoint in The United States and BDSM and Religion.Therapist tendering a “moral diagnosis”.Outing a spouse at church as a masturbator. [37:18] How are spirituality and sexuality the same and why it scares churches.[39:45] “We’re All Like This” Steven Ing’s book is now used in Human Sexuality classes at the University Level. http://stevening.com/store [43:15] Where do spirituality and sex meet? Catharsis!!![44:40] Kuldrin Service Topping[48:20] Getting in touch with our animal nature and going primal.[49:32] Talking to children about sex and BDSM relationships.Sexual safety and sexual innocence.What age does do children start masturbating?Teaching the emotions of sex before the mechanics.Talking to children about consent before talking about sexuality.[58:44] Talking to children after they walked in on parents having sex or performing act of BDSM.[1:03:20] How to explain BDSM to vanillas.A final note or two: Thanks to our Executive Producers Jeremiah, Sihlus, Jess, and ArcaneDgr & violetaurelia. Our Sr. Producers Matt and xEmeraldxWolfx. Our Producers Kainsin, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKay and RoxieBear. And our Jr. Producers K-2SO, BuffaloDom84, Painwaits, LxSoumis, and Hayley. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts for their donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.Finally, I’d like to thank http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275Fb: Kuldrin Fire https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.fireTwitter: @MasterKuldrin https://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfire https://www.instagram.com/kuldrinfire/Patreon: kuldrinskrypt https://www.patreon.com/KuldrinsKryptPaypal: MasterKuldrin http://paypal.me/masterkuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourceLimits and Interest Survey: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/survey

Recorded: 12/09/2018 / Published: 12/10/2018Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kudrinskrypt.comOn this episode of the Krypt I’m going to help you keep it kinky for the holidays. So let’s hit those rules to love by and jump straight into the topic.Rules to Love by:1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul YoungWith the holidays fast approaching I get a lot of questions about maintaining a D/s role around the nonkinky family. And a special thank you to my sub, Mayfair85 for suggesting that I do this as an episode. There are several ways to stay in role but not appear anyway that would make grandma uncomfortable. So here are five ways to keep the kink without killing kinfolk.1: Decide on names.2: Decide on food limits prior to any gatherings.3: Use gestures.4: Serve food and drinks.5: Pick clothing and day collar in advance.Holiday ProtocolsDrop Role – the slave is permitted to actually “drop role” and behave in any way she wishes. The slave is specifically NOT to use words like “Master” nor engage in any overt submissive behavior (e.g. ask permission to go to the bathroom, etc.), nor make any overt BDSM references while in the Drop Role environment/situation. However, the slave IS expected to behave in a manner which still reflects well on The Master, i.e. common courtesy and politeness should still be present, and proper social graces are expected. The slave may converse freely with anyone. The slave remains “Drop Role” until otherwise instructed by The Master, but should be ready to return to the proper role at a moment’s notice. This command is especially useful, for example, when spending time with Vanilla peers or parents. This can also be assigned to a specific time period, such as “Drop Role for the entire weekend while we are staying in your parent’s house.” [Arcane, Master. IGNITING THE FIRE: The Art of Romantic Submission]Presents1: Are vanilla presents ok?2: Picking the right time to exchange gifts.3: Are collars ok to give as presents?A final note or two.1: I’d like to thank our Executive Producers Jeremiah, Sihlus, Jess, and ArcaneDgr & violetaurelia. Our Sr. Producers Matt and xEmeraldxWolfx. Our Producers Kainsin, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKay and RoxieBear. And our Jr. Producers K-2SO, BuffaloDom84, Painwaits, LxSoumis, and Hayley. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.2: I’d like to thank BDSM contracts for their donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.3: I’d like to thank http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.NEXT WEEK’S AGENDANext time on The Krypt . In the meantime go to https://kuldrinskrypt.com for show notes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Fetlife group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to become a Patreon supporter.Contact info:Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275Fb: Kuldrin Fire https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.fireTwitter: @MasterKuldrin https://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfire https://www.instagram.com/kuldrinfire/Patreon: kuldrinskrypt https://www.patreon.com/KuldrinsKryptPaypal: MasterKuldrin http://paypal.me/masterkuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourceLimits and Interest Survey: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/surveyOutro: This has been Master Kuldrin for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth

Recorded and Published: November 26, 2018Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kudrinskrypt.comOn this episode of the Krypt I have a fet article and private fet message from a listener about Dom’s using safe words and then I’m going to talk about the Dominants Bill of Rights.Rules to Love by:1; Safe, sane, consensual, and informed2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Younghttps://fetlife.com/users/3949958/posts/4756802 (AMischiefManaged)"So I was watching a scene in a play space and I heard something I never expected. In the middle of a scene, a Dominant safeworded. He called "red" and said that he'd like to stop.What I saw next nearly floored me and hasn't sat well since.The submissive turned around furious and said: "You can't do that, only I can safeword." She went on shouting about how only submissives have that power and that it's not like she's doing anything to him that he has the right to safeword for. After more yelling, she stormed off, leaving him in the middle of the room probably stun shocked at what happened.I'm not sure what exactly infuriated me most about watching that unfold in front of me. It could have been the total lack of respect or the feeling like she was treating that dominant like some kinky vending machine. That after negotiation, that he somehow owed her to give her what she wanted.I didn't want to share this moment when I was in the middle of it. I needed time to process, to decompress it all. It's been a good while between then and now and I've been sitting here at my computer, thinking about what happened that night.Sitting here wondering if this is part of telling people that submissives have all the power, that they can stop a scene whenever they want with a safeword. When in reality both parties have the power to stop a scene if they feel it isn't what they want, if they feel unsafe, or if they simply don't feel like continuing for whatever reason.Maybe that night, the dominant felt sick, or something triggered inside of him putting him in a really bad space to play with someone else. Maybe he needed a break because of a muscle cramp, injury, or any number of things that would make it a bad idea to continue. Or maybe he just didn't feel like it anymore.Thinking back to that night, it would have been such a different story if she tried to connect and communicate. To ask him why he felt like he needed to stop. It could have been a beautiful moment, teaching everyone watching how that care and concern flows both ways."This one came in from a listener who wishes to remain anonymous:"You have brought up multiple times on your podcast that you have called an end to a scene far more times as the top than the bottoms ever have. I just wanted to reach out and reiterate the importance of this once again.My sub and I hadn't done much of a scene in the last few months due to schedules. We had done a couple of shorter scenes at parties and we had done lots of rope suspensions recently, but nothing extreme. So, yesterday we set some time aside for "date night" and had negotiated a predicament, impact, and sensation scene.However, we started the night with a suspension and that suspension didn't go well. She was in pain, but not alluding to where or what despite my asking. She insisted we just push through finish what I was planning and bring her down. The thing was I hadn't actually planned anything for this session. I was going to bring her up and play around with positioning and how the arms and legs were tied. So, I brought her down and did a TK instead of a hands-free harness to take some weight off the ribs which she had vaguely alluded was an issue (she did not state that there were issues with the hip harness at this time). Up she went again with the same problems as there was no communication to fix everything.I was frustrated and I snapped at her. It was just one sentence and I calmed down after. She left the room to make a call she had scheduled and I cleaned up the rope. When I was done I apologized for my outburst as I was out of line.She was clearly not in a good headspace at this point and with all my great Domly instincts I knew to check in with her regarding the upcoming scene. I did so. I asked her if she was okay to continue. She assured me she was. I think I even asked a second time. I knew. I could tell she was not in a great place, but it had been a while since we did a scene and she said she was fine so I let her reassurance override my instincts and we proceeded to do the scene.With my earlier outburst, I had put her into a place of trauma. She was shut down and simply allowing me to do whatever I wanted as is her way in that headspace. Not a healthy place. Not subspace. Not submitting. Enduring the pain to get through. Followed by a walling off.Now we will get through this and learn and grow but had I trusted my instincts and called red on the scene before it started it would have prevented a lot of emotional pain. As the top, I should have known better especially knowing her as well as I do. She simply is not able to say no at times and I need to be able to be that voice of reason."The Dominant/submissive Bill of Rights:1: The right to be treated with respect.2: The right to be proud of what you are.3: The right to safety.4: The right to your emotions and feelings.5: The right to express those feelings in a safe manner.6: The right to say NO.7: The right to expect happiness in life.8: The right to belong.9: The right to love and be loved.10: The right to be healthy.11: The right to practice safe sex.A final note or two.I’d like to thank our Executive Producers Jeremiah, Sihlus, Jess, and ArcaneDgr & violetaurelia. Our Sr. Producers Matt and xEmeraldxWolfx. Our Producers Kainsin, Heather, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKay and RoxieBear. And our Jr. Producers K-2SO, BuffaloDom84, Painwaits, and Master Ferguson & LxSoumis. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts for their donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.And finally, I’d like to thank http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.NEXT WEEK’S AGENDANext time on The Krypt staying in role without offending the vanillas. In the meantime go to kuldrinskrypt.com for show notes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Fetlife group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to become a Patreon supporter.Contact info:Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275Fb: Kuldrin Fire https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.fireTwitter: @MasterKuldrin https://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfire https://www.instagram.com/kuldrinfire/Patreon: kuldrinskrypt https://www.patreon.com/KuldrinsKryptPaypal: MasterKuldrin http://paypal.me/masterkuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourceOutro: This has been Master Kuldrin and Funsize for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth

Rec: November 4, 2018Pub: November 11, 2018 Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or https://kudrinskrypt.com/contactOn this episode: My recent dungeon vacation and a listener question from Jr. Producer, Buffalodom84 about hygiene, then you and I are going to have a chat about self-care with a bonus topic of attitude and a quote that could change your life.The Woodshed, Orlando, FL, U.S.A., and Master Cecil.http://thewoodshedorlando.com/Rules to Love by:1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul YoungHygiene:Jr. Producer Buffalodom84 wrote: “I just listened to your newest episode and had an idea for a new episode. Could you do an episode on hygiene?”What is hygiene?:Conditions and Practices that are to promote health including cleanliness, skin care, and the prevention of infections.Cleanliness Personal cleanlinessCleanliness of environmentCleanliness of FoodCleanliness of Food PreparationNicotine slows healing because it causes blood vessels to constrict, which decreases the amount of blood, oxygen, and nutrients to get to tissues which increases the chance of the breakdown of skin.Blood Clots-Signs and symptoms:RednessSwellingHeatPain sensation in the area of the clot.Usually happens in one extremityDo not do exercises- Go directly to Emergency Room!STI’s and Infections U.T.I.'s:Urinary Tract Infections: Pathogens in the urethra, vagina, or perineal area enter the urinary tract.Bacteria move up the ureters to the kidneys.Causative organisms: Escherichia coli, Staphylococcus, Saprophyticus, Proteus, Klebsiella, Seratia, and PseudomonasSymptomsPainful urinationUrine has a foul odorCloudy urineFrequent urinationDon’t feel goodFlank PainFeverTreatment:1: Urinary specimen2: Antibiotic3: Finish antibioticHow poor hygiene can affect a person's life:1: Some people may find out that they are missing out on friends, job opportunities and partners because of something that no one had ever pointed out to them – their lack of better personal hygiene.2: Maybe in the past as a child, their personal habits were pointed out, but in a negative way. No one really took an interest in that person to tell them that they must groom themselves properly or at least try to.3: Some bad habits of people who have no concept of personal hygiene are apparent body odor, greasy skin, oily hair, bad breath, and clothing that is dirty or old. The sad part is most of these things can be remedied much quicker than a bad cold and yet, individuals walk around like this day after day and endure the misery bad hygiene often brings. The misery includes people who do not want to be near these people for the above reasons and the lost personal opportunities.Some ways people can start to improve is to take a realistic look at themselves in a full-length mirror. Even if it hurts to think about it, they should consider the advice of others, especially the people who are around every day.4: Individuals who are suffering from this should try to pinpoint what exactly can be improved, and ask themselves, “What would I really like to improve about myself that is available to me right now?”Show Support:1a: Executive Producers Jeremiah, Sihlus, Jess, and ArcaneDgr & violetaurelia. 1b: Sr. Producers Matt and xEmeraldxWolfx. 1c: Producers Kainsin, Heather, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKay and RoxieBear. 1d: Jr. Producers K-2SO, BuffaloDom84, Painwaits, and Master Ferguson & LxSoumis. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.2: BDSM contracts for the donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound BDSM contracts. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.3: http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys. Self-care:“Self-care 101” By Maria Baratta Ph.D., L.C.S.W.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/skinny-revisited/201805/self-care-101What is self-care? Self-care, in essence, is the mindful taking time to pay attention to you, not in a narcissistic way, but in a way that ensures that you are being cared for by you. Ten ways to exercise self-care and take better care of you:1: Self-care means knowing who you are and your limits. Self-care means recognizing when you are doing more than you are used to handling and trying to figure out what can be done to slow down.2: Self-care means getting the sleep you need and knowing how to rest. Are you getting enough sleep for you? Do you know how much sleep you require every day and are you sleeping at least that much? Making a serious effort to make that happen as well as knowing how to rest your body and your mind are essential. 3: Self-care means making sure that you're well fed. Do you eat well—does what you eat provide the energy you need to function? Do you take time to eat meals at work and do you take time to have snacks when your body requires intermittent food during the workday? Self-care means integrating favorite healthy foods into your everyday eating routines and planning ahead to make sure you have adequate nutritious foods throughout your day.4: Self-care means finding a way to decompress throughout your day, not just when you leave work. What is it you do to rest your mind during and after a workday? What helps you tune out the noise? Most people tell me they don’t have the luxury of taking breaks during their workday but trying to integrate mini-breaks throughout the day helps refresh your mind and body. For example, try stretching or taking a brief walk even if it's only a few feet away, getting yourself a drink of water, talking to a friend, getting in touch with a loved one even if it's just a text, or purposely looking at photos that have special meaning. The brain needs those pauses. 5: Self-care means giving some thought to changing a difficult work situation. We know best what we need and what we can deal with. Is there anything that can be done to make your work somewhat less stressful? Think about whether changes can be made to your work environment. Are you okay with where you sit and do your work? Are you working unsustainable hours and is there some end in sight? It might be a matter of approaching a supervisor with things that you think may make your work more pleasant such as changing where you sit or changing whether you take an earlier lunch or later start time. Sometimes supervisors are not even aware of the reality of what the worker experiences in a workday. A frank conversation delineating the things that are most stressful might precipitate the process of improving your working conditions. People see the world through their own lenses and supervisors have their own problems and a sometimes a simple conversation can provide the insight they needed to rethink how things are done.6: Self-care means taking time to get to know you better. Self-care means learning to recognize your own temperament and trying to prepare for your personal limits. For example, do you have the trait of "high sensitivity? (Aron 1996) and if so, learning to recognize when you are experiencing sensory overload. "Highly Sensitives," "hsp's, " are particularly bothered and affected by over-stimulation and things like being hungry or tired or wearing uncomfortable shoes precipitate marked discomfort. Identifying your temperament and your triggers and planning accordingly might help lessen inevitable stress. That might be as simple as grabbing some almonds before a meeting that usually cuts into your lunch hour so you're not ridiculously hungry or rethinking fabulous but uncomfortable shoes. 7: Self-care means identifying what you enjoy doing and what's fun for you and make a serious effort to integrate it into your day or, at the very least, your week. Make it a habit to plan something to look forward to every day and that doesn't have to be complicated. It can be as simple as planning to read a good book at night or planning to have dinner with someone whose company you enjoy. 8: Self-care means knowing how to debrief from a day's work. That might mean walking home from work to clear your head, driving in silence or listening to music to help transition from work to home. 9: Self-care means feeding your spiritual self. That might take the form of meditating, praying, communing with nature by a walk in a park.10: And finally, self-care means taking time to love yourself and appreciating that there's only one you and you're the expert on that.What is self-care regarding BDSM?1: Knowing what you need for your own aftercare.2: Knowing how to recognize drop.3: Communicating needs.4: Admitting your personal limits.5: Recognizing when you can and can’t negotiate.“ATTITUDE” by Charles Swindoll"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes”Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comhttps://kuldrinskrypt.com

Recorded: October 20, 2018 / Published: October 21, 2018Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.comOn this episode: Rules to Love By, Relationship Burnout, Mindreading, Managing Expectations in BDSM Relationships, a listener question that ended in me writing 10 Rules for Hard Conversations.Rules to Love by:1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul YoungMessage from ForsakenNymph“I just now got to listen to the latest episode. It was good, as always. My condolences to losing Funsize. During the show, someone chatted a line about complacency. That made me think about an idea for the next show. You touched on introducing kink (honeymoon phase). How do you keep things interesting/spice things up after you have gone through every page of your "kinky Kamasutra"? What is the importance of continued open communication after you have gotten to know your partner? What are the dangers of mindreading or expecting someone to know what you want because you have been together a while? Just an idea. ;-)”How do you keep things interesting or spice things up after you have gone through every page of your "kinky Kamasutra"?Hanging out with other kinksters.Attending playspaces or new playspaces.Explore soft limits.Readdress hard limits.What is the importance of continued open communication after you have gotten to know your partner?The most important thing people can do.You never really know a person.Most people start to think they know someone when the New Relationship Energy (N.R.E.)  starts to fade but this is not at all true.What are the dangers of mindreading or expecting someone to know what you want because you have been together a while?These two things fall right in line with the saying “strive to understand before being understood”. Also, for most people, they are the two biggest pitfalls of effective communication. Let’s break them up into the two categories of Mindreading and Managing Expectations.Mindreading:As humans, this is probably one of the most arrogant and stupid things that we do. Besides this, when we think we know what someone is thinking or feeling we are taking away their freedom to think and feel the way they typically would. This is because you place pressure on them to think, feel, and be just like you. It’s like the only people we want to be in a relationship with is ourselves. When you catch yourself thinking you already know what your partner or anyone else is thinking or feeling that is when you need to communicate the most. Make sure that you are really on the same page. Think about it, if you are right then you have immediate confirmation that you know them as you think you. If you are wrong, chances it will lead to a bonding conversation. Either way, you are showing them respect by asking, not telling them how they think and feel, thus strengthening your relationship. We want to take communication and relationship shortcuts but humans are to complex for that and we are not built to take those shortcuts. We need to be heard and understood.Managing Expectations:How often you do become upset, angry, or depressed because someone didn’t react to something the way you thought they would. Maybe they weren’t as excited about something as you were and it bummed you out because you expected them to be over the moon or you had what seemed like the worst day ever and they pretty much gave you a pat on the ass and told you to “shake it off” but you expected them to become enraged with them at the idiot boss they have to deal with on their job? How did this make you feel, how did you react and how did this immediately affect the relationship? Were you disappointed, angry, hurt, confused? Through remembering that people have their own thoughts and feelings separate from your and that their perception of the situation IS going to vary from yours, you can manage your expectations of others, allow them the freedom of being themselves, and save your relationship, from a lot of rough times.Message from dravendomonHello to all who read this. I am in need of some advice. I am new to the lifestyle and would like some insight. My wife and I have recently moved into an open-closed relationship with me on the open end. I have wanted to have that conversation with her for a few months. On Saturday night I was at my monthly dungeons and dragons game and as I was not driving I was drinking. When I got home after the game I ended up in a very emotional conversation with her about her currently nonexistent sex drive and that I would like to seek out someone that would be able to fill my need. I also have a desire for a D/s relationship. The advice I need is in how to handle the conversation with my wife. She is a very strong Type A personality and I don't want to end my marriage. I just don't know how to talk to her about this sober. Would a contract of a sort be something we should look at. Any advice or insight would be very appreciated.This sounds simply complex on the outside but in all reality, this is one of the most common and most complex situations an existing couple goes through as one or both of them realize a need that BDSM can fulfill.Any conversation worth having is worth having sober.Understand that while you may think you are freer to speak while intoxicated or under the influence of a substance, you are actually under the control of the consequences you will have to suffer because you said something the wrong way, couldn’t control your emotions during the conversation and went into a blabbering crying fit, became angry and popped off with things that the other person didn’t deserve, or you flat out lied. Thus the only way to have productive and effective conversations is to take control of your fears and have the conversation. There aren’t any tips or tricks to this that I’ve ever heard that worked. The only thing that has helped me in the past is to set the stage and the rules and go back to them as needed. With that said, writing them down beforehand and scheduling the conversation when all parties are well rested, not hungry, and in a generally decent mood is essential. Here are a few steps to help:Preplan using the things I just mentionedAsk the other person or people involved when would be a good time to have a serious conversation. While doing this ensure them that nothing is wrong but that you have been thinking about YOUR roll in the relationship and you want to talk about ways you could be better. Remember, even in this step it is all about “I statements” NOT “you statements”.When its time to have the conversation start it with the rules by saying something like “I love you and you are the most important person or thing in the world to me AND some of the things we are going to talk about could hurt the other person. This is because I am going to ask you to speak honestly about my roll in our relationship and ways I can improve. So to make sure we don’t end up saying something we might regret and this doesn’t turn into a fight I’ve got some rules that we can talk about and agree on first.1: No fighting.2: No name calling.3: No words of disrespect.4: If things get heated we will take a break and sit quietly holding each other or at least holding hands until both are ready to continue.5: No interrupting each other.6: This conversation will not end here. In a few days, after we have given it some thought we will dive back into it.7: We will not allow ourselves to hurt each other because we love and respect each other.8: We will remember that this is different for us to communicate this way but we promise to be open, honest, respectful and give it try because it could make our relationship even better than it already is.9: When this session is over we will reassure each other that we are loved, cherished, wanted, respected, and desired by the other person.10: We will enjoy a reward together for making it through our talk without breaking any of the first nine rules.10a: Rewards could be sex, ice cream or a favorite treat, dinner out, a movie, snuggling in bed and going to sleep, or something else agreed upon now before we start the talk.“Would a contract be helpful?”Yes! As you start the talk make it known that you will be taking notes and offer her a pen and paper so she can as well. You might as well add note-taking to the rules. If you do this, I would also add that the notes will present, talk about, and agree upon at the start of the next session. Making these sound like formal business meeting can often put people in more of a logical mindset and helps them keep a check on their emotional state.As you have this conversation you will effectively be writing an agreement that can easily be turned into a contract and the cool thing about doing this way is that nearly all the details have been worked out.Executive Producers Jeremiah, Sihlus, Jess, and ArcaneDgr & violetaurelia. Sr. Producers Matt and xEmeraldxWolfx. Producers Kainsin, Heather, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKay and RoxieBear. Jr. Producers K-2SO, BuffaloDom84, Painwaits, and Master Ferguson & LxSoumis. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.BDSM contracts beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275Fb: Kuldrin Fire https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.fireTwitter: @MasterKuldrin https://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfire https://www.instagYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkKh6z8FEvlzTHn-H3t5NNw?view_as=subscriber

Recorded:   9/15/2018 /      Published: 10/07/2018-Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kudrinskrypt.com/contact-On this episode of the Krypt we are going to talk about an article I found titled “7 Safe Ways To Explore BDSM Without Hurting Your Marriage”. https://www.yourtango.com/experts/pleasure-mechanics/7-ways-find-your-bdsm-bliss[0:33] Step 1: Communication!!!https://kuldrinskrypt.com/survey[2:18] Step 2: It brings balance.[3:10] Total Power Exchange (T.P.E.)[6:00] Step 3: Don’t Blur Boundaries![6:35]Rules to Love by:1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young[7:21] Step 4: Get Specific About What You Want![9:10] Step 5: Take Baby Steps.[10:38] Step 6: “Switch” It Up![16:25] Step 7: Get Trained![18:22] Q&A[21:45] Announcement: Funsize has decided to leave the show due to personal reasons. She will be GREATLY missed!!!A final note or two.I’d like to thank our Executive Producers Jeremiah, Sihlus, Jess, and ArcaneDgr & violetaurelia. Our Sr. Producers Matt and xEmeraldxWolfx. Our Producers Kainsin, Heather, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKay and RoxieBear. And our Jr. Producers K-2SO, BuffaloDom84, Painwaits, and Master Ferguson & LxSoumis. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts for their donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.And finally, I’d like to thank http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.NEXT WEEK’S AGENDANext time on The Krypt . In the meantime go to kuldrinskrypt.com for show notes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Fetlife group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to become a Patreon supporter.Contact info:Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275Fb: Kuldrin Fire https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.fireTwitter: @MasterKuldrin https://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfire https://www.instagram.com/kuldrinfire/Patreon: kuldrinskrypt https://www.patreon.com/KuldrinsKryptPaypal: MasterKuldrin http://paypal.me/masterkuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourceOutro: This has been Master Kuldrin for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth