The Art of Charm

In this episode, AJ and Johnny share stories of how they’ve built connections with others and improved upon them — then explore them from a scientific perspective. In their quest to reach the perfect balance, they talk about how vital opening up the door of introduction is without prying into someone’s life or personal space. AJ and Johnny explain the power of the invite, creating an emotional connection and ultimately helping us all understand the kind of person we’re interested in. As best stated by Dr. Jack Shafer (Ep #712), “The sense of closeness increases if the disclosures are emotional rather than factual.”CHEAT SHEETWe live in a time when technology gives us instant satisfaction for almost everything: food, transportation, running errands, dating, keeping track of… well, almost everything! It’s easy to expect connections to be created just as instantaneously. We hit a button and, BAM, a new best friend. But, it rarely happens that way. Why? How come? How does technology change our assumptions and expectations when interacting with someone new?What’s the best way to instantly connect with a stranger? Trick question: you don't. Connection takes time.Think of this: Your next business mentor, romantic interest or long-term friend may be sitting right next to you! And how would you know? These moments may be passing you by in your everyday life?What practical ways can you give more people the ability to connect on an emotional level with you? By showing emotion, mirroring their body language.What are emotional bids and how can we use these to understand others? Emotional bids are humor/play/affection, and they’re used to hook the other person into also sharing emotion. It’s the emotion that creates a connection. AJ and Johnny refer back to their interview with Dr. Jeffrey Hall (our guest on AOC podcast #712) about how long it can take to move from acquaintance to true friend. Where in your daily interactions can you apply this patience as you get to know someone? Example: By trying not to push myself onto the new girl at the coffee shop. She seems nice, but I don’t know her well enough. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR!Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn from investor Oren Klaff how to tap into the 'croc-brain' for successful sales pitches. Discover the 3 priorities of the 'croc brain' and how to build rapport before expressing yourself freely. Gain insights on creating tension and conflict in relationships for engaging storytelling.

Our guest is former FBI Special Agent, author, and professor – Dr. Jack Schafer. In the past, Dr. Schafer has developed spy recruitment techniques, interviewed terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. Today, he shares strategies, techniques, and tools you can employ to get people to like you for a minute or a lifetime.CHEAT SHEET What is the friendship formula and how does it increase other people’s ability to like you? What are three “friend signals” you can practice to project likeability? What signals can you look for to know whether or not good rapport has been established? What is a “curiosity hook,” and how can you use it to attract others with common interests? If the golden rule of friendship is to make people feel good about themselves, how do you go about doing that? How do you use empathic statements to listen more, talk less, and still gain interest in the conversation? Why learning the C.A.R.E acronym is important to ensure you are maintaining focus on others – and not yourself. This episode is full of tools for becoming a more likable person, and it’s important to remember the words of Dr. Schafer when applying them in our daily lives:“No one tool works for all circumstances, but for all circumstances, there is a tool that works. And it’s the time and circumstance that determine what tool to use.”Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show.Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trialDesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project.Resources The Like Switch by Dr. Jack Schafer Dr. Schafer’s Blog in Psychology Today Keep up with The Art of Charm The Art of Charm Challenge The Art of Charm Insiders The Art of Charm Bootcamp Best of The Art of Charm Podcast The Art of Charm Toolbox On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.We tried something new with show notes this week. Did you notice the condensed format? Let us know what you think here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“There are no strangers here, only friends you haven’t met yet.” – William ButlerThink about it – at one point in time everyone in our lives was a stranger – even our closest friend.Whether we are trying to strike up a conversation at a networking event, meeting someone at a bar, or just talking to your barista, the art of talking to strangers comes alive every day.On today’s episode, we aren’t just discussing how to talk to strangers, but why doing so can improve our lives and increase our happiness.The Cheat Sheet How can we use the F-E-A-R acronym to help define the types of fear fueling our anxieties? 10:47 Fusion 11:11 Expectations 19:26 Avoidance 30:48 Remoteness 34:47 What do Silicon Valley CEOs know about the influence of technology and connection? 13:17 Why is talking to strangers essential to growing our personal and professional networks? 37:46 How does talking to strangers bring out the best in us? 47:00 Could simply saying hello be the most underrated icebreaker? 53:57 “Most people aren’t going to give you a no, they’re going to respond to a hello” – AJ HarbingerIf you want to be first to know what’s coming beyond the podcast – go to TheArtofCharm.com/Insiders to become an AoC Insider. Any new programs, events, challenges and even give-a-ways will go to our AoC Insiders first. SPOILER ALERT: We’re just weeks away from our first big announcement!Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show.Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial.Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZipRecruiter will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. Resources AoC Episode 710 - The Art of Breaking the Ice The Happiness Trap by Dr. Russ Harris “Hello Stranger” by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton “How to Talk to Strangers” by Kio Stark “Why You Should Talk to Strangers” TedTalk by Kio Stark When Strangers Meet TedBook by Kio Stark Keep up with The Art of Charm The Art of Charm Insiders Best of The Art of Charm Podcast The Art of Charm Toolbox On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.We tried something new with show notes this week. Do you like the condensed format? Let us know what you think here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode kicks off The Art of Charm’s series on Breaking the Ice. After learning The Art of the First Impression - it’s time to dig into how to start engaging conversations that genuinely capture the other person’s interest.AJ and Johnny walk us through how to devise a strategic plan to break the ice that we can practice and quiet self-doubt and anxious thoughts.Beyond the social science, you’ll get to hear how AJ broke the ice with his girlfriend Amy, and how Johnny’s father broke the ice with unsuspecting hikers on the trail. Cheat Sheet Break the ice with banter - and no, we don’t mean a corny one liner Learn how to ask a better question Understand the importance of listening - and not just hearing Take away a simple “Conversation Formula” And more! If you find yourself with questions, reach out! Tag us on social media @theartofcharm or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-ART-OF-CHARM. At the end of the month, we’ll be answering your questions on air with guest Chris Williams.PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES!Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-breaking-the-ice-episode-710If you want to be first to know what’s coming beyond the podcast - go to TheArtofCharm.com/Insiders to become an AoC Insider. Any new programs, events, challenges and even give-a-ways will go to our AoC Insiders first. SPOILER ALERT: We’re just weeks away from our first big announcement! Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to keep your schedule straight. The AoC Family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times longer than the standard trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week’s Q&A Episode wraps up our series on first impressions, and dive into conversation about style and the art of the first impression with two style experts. LA Based fashion expert and stylist Melissa Chataigne & Real Men Real Style Founder - Antonio Centeno. We also answer YOUR questions on first impressions. CHEAT SHEET How can you create a style that is authentic to reflect your personal brand? How can style increase your confidence? Why is it important to make a powerful first impression online and off? What are some tips and tricks to take the stress out of shopping? PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES!Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-qa-the-art-of-style-episode-709Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrates your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here.This week, Art of Charm listeners can get ANY Premium Indochino suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit. Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could.BAKblade 2.0 - a DIY back shaver includes a curved ergonomic handle to reach all those hard-to-reach areas. Use discount code CHARM20 for 20% on all orders over $30.Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode The Art of Charm is honored to welcome back Jesse Itzler. His first podcast ever was The Art of Charm - and in today’s episode we catch up with him to learn what he’s added to his “life resumé” since we saw him last. Some of our favorite life highlights include: signing a record deal, co-founding a private jet company, a beverage company, he wrote a New York Times Best Seller and he’s just released his latest book, Living With The Monks: What Turning Off My Phone Taught Me About Happiness. Tune in to today’s episode to learn more about Jesse’s journey, and how first impressions and his unique mindset has enabled his unique successes. The Cheat Sheet What happens when you start to value the journey more than the outcome? How does thinking about mortality help you channel self-confidence? Why is Jesse more concerned about maximizing potential than being happy? How does Jesse deal with negative self-talk? How is your life resumé more valuable than your professional resumé? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-living-with-jesse-itzler-episode-708Want to learn more? Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today hereBlinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether we’re meeting someone for the first time or trying to elevate ourselves to that next level—body language plays an integral part in our presentation of self. Listen to this episode to learn the importance of body language in our social interactions, and five simple signals you can focus on to improve your first impression. The Cheat Sheet What are the 5 signals of body language that we can control? How does our environment choose our body language without us even knowing? What happens when your body language doesn’t align with your words? How can we actually control our emotions by controlling our body language? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-5-signals-of-body-language-707Want to learn more? Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here.Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial!DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn about the 4 layers of first impressions, the impact of body language, reversing primal instincts, and personal anecdotes. Explore the power of sleep, exercise, and diet on first impressions, the influence of body language and facial expressions, and enhancing self-awareness for positive initial impacts.

In this engaging conversation, Erin and Suzanne, both professional comedic improvisers and coaches, share insights on the magic of improv in daily life. They discuss how improvisation fosters personal growth, allowing us to embrace the unknown and overcome self-doubt. The duo emphasizes that being funny isn't the main goal of improv; rather, it's about authenticity and genuine connection. They also explore how these principles can enhance our professional interactions and promote a collaborative spirit, leaving listeners inspired to jump into the world of improv.