The Art of Charm

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance aging with Steven Kotler. Steven is one of the world’s leading experts on human performance, an award-winning journalist, and is a New York Times bestselling author of 11 bestsellers including The Art of Impossible, The Future is Faster Than You Think, Stealing Fire, The Rise of Superman, and Bold and Abundance, and his newest book, Gnar Country: Growing Old, Staying Rad.Aging gets a bad rep because many people don’t age gracefully, but you don’t have to be one of those many—so what is it about aging that makes us feel old, what is the key to maintaining your youth into old age, and what is the secret to excelling at new skills no matter how old you are?A Word From Our Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the four horsemen of relationship dynamics with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael. We all encounter four dynamics in our personal and professional relationships, so what are they, what is the best way to approach each one to minimize conflict, and in the case of conflict, what makes for the best and worst apologies?What to Listen For The Four Horsemen of Relationship Dynamics: Criticism – 0:00 What are the four primary relationship dynamics? What’s the best way to handle criticism in a relationship? How do you effectively give criticism in a relationship without angering or upsetting your partner? Defensiveness – 15:35 What are the 3 ways defensiveness shows up in relationships and how should you approach each one? What is the worst kind of apology? What makes a good apology? Stonewalling – 27:42  What is stonewalling and why does it do so much damage to relationships? What is the best way to handle a friend or partner who stonewalls in response to potential arguments? The Final Straw: Contempt – 44:14  What is the best predictor of divorce? Why do you start feeling contempt for your partner? What strategies can you use to break the cycle of feeling contempt for someone?  Nobody likes feeling criticized, but it’s an unavoidable part of every relationship and we have to know how to give and receive criticism effectively in order to grow. The key is to learn how to give criticism in a way that doesn’t damage your relationship or make your partner feel defensive. If you can learn how to recognize and manage stonewalling, defensiveness, and contempt, you’ll be on the right track to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship with your partner, friends, family, and coworkers. A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this EpisodeThe Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and StonewallingCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ben Nemtin, New York Times bestselling author and co-founder of The Buried Life movement, joins to share insights on chasing dreams. He discusses the transformative impact of creating a compelling bucket list and the significance of surrounding yourself with supportive individuals. Nemtin emphasizes the benefits of sharing your goals to foster accountability and motivation. Through personal anecdotes, he inspires listeners to embrace discomfort and tackle fears, turning dreams into actionable steps for a fulfilling life.

In today’s episode, we cover quitting with Annie Duke. Annie is a national best-selling author, former professional poker player, corporate speaker, and consultant in the decision-making space, as well as Special Partner focused on Decision Science at First Round Capital Partners, a seed stage venture fund. Annie’s latest book is Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away. Quitting has acquired a bad reputation in a culture of grit and hustle, but even the most successful people quit things they’re working on frequently, so what is stopping you from quitting a failing project or relationship, and what questions can you ask yourself and others to determine when the right time to quit is?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is knowing to quit just as important as grit and determination? How do you know when to quit? – 14:58 Why do many of us quit things too late and waste valuable time that we could be spending on the next success? What are some great examples of people making the right decision to quit? Opportunity Cost Neglect – 33:26 What is the blindspot that keeps us from quitting at the right time? What happened to the game Glitch before Slack was created? How do you break the Sunk Cost Neglect cycle so you stop wasting your time? Other Biases and Blindspots – 44:30 What is Escalation of Commitment? What is the Status Quo Bias? What is the Omission Comission Bias? The Questions to Determine When You Need to Quit – 1:01:20 After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!A Word From Our Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this Episode Annie Duke | The Secret Ingredient to Making the RIGHT Decision When It Really Matters Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away by Annie Duke Annie Duke’s website Alliance for Decision Education After School All Stars Renew Democracy Initiative Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with Dr. Robert Waldinger. Bob is the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a 75-year-long Harvard study of adult life, and the co-author of The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness.Our social fitness was shaken over the last few years thanks to the lockdown, so what can we use from the longest study on happiness to improve our social fitness and rebuild lost relationships?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How did the “Harvard Happiness Study” come about? What is the Harvard Study of Adult Development and how did it start? Social Fitness – 13:01 What is social fitness and how did the pandemic affect your social fitness? The Biggest Motivation for Self Development – 24:18 What gives you the greatest motivation to improve your life? What is the secret to happiness and how do you implement it at any age? How do you make new friends? – 37:11 What should you say when you want to reconnect with someone? How to stop feeling lonely? How do you start a conversation with a coworker? What are unhappy marriages missing? – 46:00 How do happy couples stay happy forever and how can you implement in your relationship? The Harvard Study of Adult Development turned out to be the longest running study about what makes people happy. Considering the increase in mental health issues and loneliness that we experienced over the last few years, the wisdom learned from the study has the potential to help us recover our pre-pandemic social fitness and get back enjoying life again.A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this Episode Harvard Study of Adult Development website The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness Dr. Robert Waldinger’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover money and love with Abby Davisson. Abby is a social innovation leader and career development expert, was the president of the Gap Foundation at Gap Inc and a senior leader on the Environmental, Social & Governance team, and is the co-author of Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions. Making big decisions in relationships can be intimidating, so what frameworks and strategies can you use to simplify the decision making process and how should you handle conversations around money and having kids with your partner?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What proven framework should you use to approach major decisions about money and love in relationships? Thinking about Consequences of Making Big Decisions – 19:06 How should you think about the consequences of decision making? How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone? Relationship Compatibility – 29:26 How can you find out if you are compatible with your partner in the long term? How do you approach the conversation of having kids with someone you just married? Divorce and Money – 48:30 How should you approach the conversation around money when you’re thinking about getting married? Making major decisions about relationships can be daunting, but if you break it down with a framework and consider all of the potential consequences with regular communication, it becomes much easier. Money is a major factor to consider when getting married because it can cause a lot of arguments and stress in a relationship, to the point that it is one of the most common reasons people state when getting divorced. If you approach these conversations openly and honestly with your partner, you will be able to make the best decision for both of you.Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this Episode Abby Davisson’s website Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life’s Biggest Decisions Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the Art of Charm’s best episodes from 2022 with AJ and Johnny. Turbocharge your social skills going into 2023 with highlights from the best of the Art of Charm podcast in 2022!What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Avoid these Low Value Behaviors – 2:41 What 3 behaviors do you need to avoid if you want to attract high value friendships and relationships? Eye Contact for Different Situations – 16:34 How do you decide what kind of eye contact you should give in personal, professional, and romantic situations? Overcome Perfectionism – 19:22 What steps can you take to overcome perfectionism? What are the warning signs that perfectionism is controlling your life? Setting and Enforcing Boundaries – 28:22 How do you enforce boundaries you set with other people who keep violating your boundaries? Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome – 38:02 What are covert contracts and why do “nice guys” make them with people they meet? What is the biggest flaw of nice guys and how do you stop being a “nice guy” if you are one? The Infamous Awkward Pause – 45:17 How do you make awkward pauses into powerful pauses that command attention? What mistakes do most people make that kill their charisma? 2022 was a great year here at the Art of Charm. We hope you had a great year as well and wish you nothing but the best in 2023! See you next year!A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this EpisodeAvoid These 3 Low Value Behaviors (Toolbox)How To Read Body Language | Abbie MaroñoPerfectionism: The Enemy Of Progress | Jennifer KempBuild and Maintain Boundaries | Nedra TawwabOvercoming Nice Guy Syndrome | Dr. Robert GloverHow to Influence and Persuade People | Zoe ChanceCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover social media with Dr. Nicholas Kardaras. Dr. Kardaras is an Ivy League educated psychologist, best-selling author, internationally renowned speaker and an expert on mental health, addiction, and the impacts of our digital age.Social media has gripped us by the neck with socially inept nerds calling the shots, so what exactly is going on, how is social media amplifying mental health issues, and what steps can we take to break social media addiction?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is a social media algorithm and why can they be dangerous to society? What is the Online Safety Act and how does it serve to protect us from algorithms on social media? The social world is engineered by the socially inept – 16:42 Why is there so much friction between what is going on in the real world and the virtual world? How does social media amplify mental health issues and pressure young people to imitate the mentally unwell? Who should we trust – 28:46 How do we know who to trust online and why is it risky to allow anyone to determine what is true and false? Are younger generations more fragile than older generations? Social media and depression – 41:46 How does social media use lead to depression? Does an easier or harder life lead to a more fulfilling and happy life? What practical steps can you take to deal with social media addiction? Social media algorithms are created with the intention of getting users to spend more time on a platform, but they can have harmful consequences. By curating content and limiting the exposure to certain views, social media platforms can create an echo chamber that amplifies mental health issues and leads young people to believe that imitating the mentally unwell is normal behavior. Social media use can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems. A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this Episode Dr. Nicholas Kardaras’s website Digital Madness: How Social Media Is Driving Our Mental Health Crisis--and How to Restore Our Sanity by Dr. Nicholas Kardaras Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover parenting and the CIA with Christina Hillsberg. Christina is a former CIA intelligence officer, writer, and recognized expert on women in espionage, intelligence tradecraft, and parenting, and the author of License to Parent: Being a parent is hard enough already and now we have so much technology to worry about, so how do you teach your kids to build trust and to know who to trust, how do you properly regulate their access to video games and the internet, and how do you teach kids to recognize and avoid danger?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What should you study or work toward if you want to eventually work for the CIA or other intelligence agencies?  Teach kids to build relationships – 14:22 How do you teach your kids to deal with bullies in school? How do you build trust with your kids or stepkids? Dealing with kids and videogames – 30:30  How do you regulate the access to video games and the internet that your kids have to keep them safe? How do you teach your kids what information to trust online as well as who to trust online? Avoiding danger – 42:50  How do you teach your kids to avoid danger? What can you do to alleviate the worry and anxiety you feel as a parent? Raising kids in the digital age is a daunting task. It seems like every day we are faced with new challenges and questions about how to keep our children safe and help them grow into well-adjusted adults. But it’s important to remember that we aren’t alone in this struggle. There are plenty of resources available to us, both offline and online, and it’s important to make use of them all.A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this Episode Christina Hillsberg’s website Christina Hillsberg on Instagram Christina Hillsberg on Twitter License to Parent: How My Career as a Spy Helped Me Raise Resourceful, Self-Sufficient Kids by Christina Hillsberg Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership with John Bacon. John is an American journalist, a sports commentator on TV and radio, and author of books on sports and business including his latest best seller Let Them Lead: Unexpected Lessons in Leadership from America's Worst High School Hockey Team.Coaching a poor performing team to victory is no easy task, so what can you learn from a high school hockey coach who did just that, how high should you set expectations, and what can you do to set them up to lead themselves to success?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why did John Bacon decide to coach the worst high school hockey team in America and how did he take them from losers to champions? The Value of High Expectations – 15:15 Why is it important to set high expectations for your team? What does it mean to separate the behavior from the results and why is it important for you to understand if you want to be a great leader? Rules and Leadership – 30:18  What is the best approach to set rules and regulations as a leader and how can rules hurt your team’s performance? What’s the best way to deal with parents as a high school athletics coach? Questions, Questions, Questions – 42:10  How should you handle questions and concerns from your team to get the best out of them? How to allow your team to lead themselves to achieve their goals? Leaders should set high expectations for their team and give them the freedom to lead themselves. When team members know what is expected of them, they will be able to work more productively towards common goals. Giving your team the ability to find their own solutions and make decisions will help foster a sense of ownership and responsibility. This in turn can motivate team members to go above and beyond what is expected of them. A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this Episode John Bacon’s website Let Them Lead: Unexpected Lessons in Leadership from America's Worst High School Hockey Team John Bacon on twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices