The Art & Science Of Getting Happier | Arthur C Brooks
Sep 11, 2023
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Arthur C Brooks, bestselling author of 12 books, shares the 4 pillars of happiness and the key to increasing happiness. He discusses the importance of managing envy and why feeling unhappy is as important as happiness. Discover the difference between real friends and deal friends and the importance of building real relationships. Explore the impact of economics on daily life and the rising loneliness in society. Learn about the power of relationships and the X-Factor Accelerator program.
The key to increasing happiness is managing envy and focusing on the positive aspects of life.
Unhappiness is important for managing mood and the 4 pillars of happiness are crucial for fulfillment.
Real connections and deep relationships with others contribute to overall happiness and should be prioritized.
Deep dives
Building meaningful relationships through influence
In this podcast episode, the hosts emphasize the importance of being able to influence people and build relationships. They discuss how influence is key to developing meaningful relationships and being seen as a charismatic leader in one's career. They share insights from coaching over 10,000 clients on mastering social confidence and provide actionable steps to grow one's influence.
Managing conflict and fighting better in relationships
The hosts delve into the challenge of conflict in relationships and stress the importance of not being afraid of it. They highlight the need to disagree better and not avoid disagreements, as they can actually bring people closer together. They offer examples of how to fight better, such as using 'we' and 'us' pronouns instead of 'me' and 'you' when discussing issues. By approaching conflicts as projects for the couple to solve together, progress can be made and relationships can grow stronger.
Understanding and combating loneliness
Loneliness is identified as a rising problem, and the hosts discuss the choices we make that contribute to entrenched loneliness. They emphasize the need for real connections and advise against substituting electronic media for genuine eye contact and touch. They highlight the importance of seeking out diverse relationships and embracing complementarity rather than homogeneity. By engaging in activities that expose us to people different from ourselves, we can foster meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
The Importance of Love and Relationships
Arthur Brooks emphasizes that happiness comes from love and relationships. He highlights how everything in life ultimately comes down to love and talks about the importance of having deep connections with others. He discusses the levels of relationships, from acquaintances to deep friendships, and emphasizes the value of sharing hopes and dreams with trusted individuals. Brooks encourages listeners to prioritize love and connections in their lives, as they contribute to overall happiness.
Breaking Free from Negative Patterns
Arthur Brooks discusses the significance of breaking free from negative behavioral patterns. He shares personal experiences and how the X-Factor accelerator program helped him identify and overcome patterns that hindered his happiness and personal growth. Brooks encourages listeners to recognize and understand the root causes of these patterns, and provides tools and techniques to replace them with positive behaviors. He emphasizes the power of self-awareness and the ability to create lasting change in one's life.
In today’s episode, we cover the 4 pillars of happiness with Arthur C Brooks. Arthur is the best selling author of 12 books on topics ranging from economic opportunity to human happiness, and his newest book Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier that he co-wrote with Oprah Winfrey.
Happiness is a feeling anyone can cultivate but one that is increasingly difficult in a tech-centric world, so what is the best way to manage your emotions to achieve happiness and success, why are extroverts happier than introverts and what can you do to decrease your unhappiness as an introvert, and what is the difference between pleasure and enjoyment that most people don’t know even though it makes the difference between fulfillment and loneliness?
What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
When is intolerance and hatred necessary?
Why do humans crave social interaction with family and friends?
The secret to happiness – 14:08
What is the key to increasing your happiness no matter what is going on in your life?
How do you manage envy so it doesn’t prevent you from being happy?
Why you need to feel unhappy – 24:08
Why is unhappiness just as important as happiness when it comes to managing your mood from day to day?
What are the 4 pillars of happiness?
What is the most important thing loners need to understand if they want to be happy in their solitude?
Real Friends vs Deal Friends – 37:00
What are the two types of friends we all have and which group contributes to your loneliness?
What are the 5 challenges we face in building strong and healthy relationships?
The right choices to build relationships – 50:36
What two things should you be focusing on to build lifelong relationships with friends, family, and your significant other?
What is the neurochemical difference between pleasure and enjoyment and why does one make you feel empty and lonely?
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