Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of Mindful Monday. Receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12      https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Dandapani is a Hindu priest and a former monk of 10 years. He originally got a degree in Electrical Engineering, then left it all behind and spent a decade studying under the guidance of one of Hinduism's foremost spiritual leaders. He gave a TEDx talk that has been viewed over 5.6 million times and his GoalCast videos have been watched more than 75 million times. He’s also written a book called, The Power of Unwavering Focus Notes: We need a core purpose in life. Your purpose defines your priorities. It’s worth it to do the work to understand this. Self-reflection needs to become part of your routine. Excellence = Clarity of purpose, a burning desire, and understanding WHO is aligned with your purpose and developing those relationships fully. Remember, life is finite. It will end. Let’s make the most of it. You’ll often hear parents say to their kids, “we just want you to be happy.” Happiness should never be pursued. Rather, one should pursue a lifestyle where the byproduct of living that lifestyle is happiness. We generally think of concentration as a skill we’re born with, rather than a skill we need to be taught and then cultivate by practicing over time. Would you expect to be an expert piano player naturally? Of course not - you would seek instruction, and then practice for years in order to grow your skill. Concentration, in short, is the ability to keep awareness on one thing until you consciously choose to move it to something else. Distraction, on the other hand, is awareness being controlled by your environment (the people and things around you) without conscious choice. We are what we practice. The reality is that most people are not conscious of the fact that they are practicing distraction all day every day and hence why they are masters at distraction.  The idea is to build concentration, willpower, and mastery of awareness into your days little by little, growing your skill over weeks, months, and years. Dandapani's guru has the biggest influence on his life. The role of a mentor is to empower people with tools and help them gain perspective. Book: Think and Grow Rich. Once you experience something, you can't un-experience it. A guru takes deep responsibility for someone's life. "You can only say no if you know what to say yes to." Learn to focus: Dedicate time in the morning. Find a quiet space. With self-reflection, there can be no mask. Excellence = Clarity of purpose Who are you aligned with?

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of Mindful Monday. Receive a carefully curated email to help you become a more effective leader. Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12  https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Todd Henry is an international speaker and best-selling author of 6 books including, The Accidental Creative, Herding Tigers, Die Empty, and his latest book is called The Daily Creative. Notes: The mantra Todd tells himself before going on stage is, "Be Present. Be Yourself." This is a reminder to be in the room, and pay attention to the nuance... And don't try to be someone you're not. Don't apologize for your existence. Authenticity shows that you have skin in the game. I am putting my actions where my mouth is. We crave real experiences: We do business with human beings. The most valuable thing we can do is make genuine connections with people. Make people feel seen and known. Creativity is problem-solving. If you solve problems every day, you’re creative. Have a BIG VISION. Walt Disney started as a cartoonist. Todd has Disney's business plan from 1967 hanging up on his wall. All arrows point to the creative output of the film team. Do the "What would blow your mind?" Exercise. Write a list of things that would blow your mind if you accomplished them in the next 10-15 years. What did you do? Who did you do it with? What impact did it have on others? Our greatest work will be accomplished in the community of others. Todd intends to influence 28 million people. That is roughly 17% of working Americans in his field. That ambition points his mind in a direction. Where do good ideas come from? Adjacent possibilities. "I'm not trying to build a business. I'm trying to grow a life." It's important for your kids to see you doing work. You must grow comfortable with Asking Uncomfortable Questions – Brilliant, effective creative professionals are willing to ask inconvenient and uncomfortable questions. Difficult Conversations – Douglas Stone wrote, “Difficult conversations are almost never about getting the facts right. They are about conflicting perceptions, interpretations, and values.” Clean and dirty fuels — proving doubters wrong or proving supporters right? Detractors can be helpful if they care about you. Reward leading behaviors rather than trailing outcomes. Reward the behavior -- "That was a brave choice." Advice: Get a job and add as much value as you can. Be resourceful. Figure out how to get things done.  Understand where you can uniquely add value and pay attention to what's needed. Stick around long enough to connect the dots. Don't follow your passion. What works better? Put in the hard work to master something rare and valuable, then deploy this leverage to steer your working life in directions that resonate. Todd had bumper stickers made that said: “Safety is not an option.” Coming up with safe answers over and over will make us irrelevant. “If you are not inspired, you will not inspire other people.” Focus on your inputs. You must take time to read, meet with mentors, and learn from a variety of sources. Pause. Reflect. As leaders, we must make this a priority. Buffalo, Not Cow – “Son, I need you to be the buffalo, not the cow.” In Colorado, when storms come, they almost always brew from the West. And then what happens is they roll out towards the East. Cows can sense that a storm is coming from this direction. So, a cow will try to run East to get away from the storm. Without knowing any better, the cows continue to try to outrun the storm. But instead of outrunning the storm, they run with the storm, maximizing the amount of pain, time, and frustration they experience from that storm. Buffaloes run at the storm and by running at the storm, they run straight through it, minimizing the amount of pain, time, and frustration they experience from that storm.  Prune Relationships – Sometimes we need to cut ties with people who drain us.

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of Mindful Monday. Receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right! Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Cassie Holmes is a Professor at UCLA’s Anderson School of Management. Cassie is an expert on time and happiness. Cassie is the author of the book, Happier Hour: How to Beat Distraction, Expand Your Time, and Focus on What Matters Most, which is based on her wildly popular MBA course, “Applying the Science of Happiness to Life Design.” Notes: What do the happiest people do? They have strong, supportive relationships They feel a sense of belonging They feel safe and healthy "We have control over what we do and how we spend our time." Turn routines into rituals - Cassie does this for her Thursday morning coffee dates with her daughter. I do the same going to the pool with my daughter. Time poverty is prevalent for 50% of Americans. How to handle back to back to back meetings? It's unsustainable. Your team needs you to be full. Over time, you will not perform at an optimal level if you don't give yourself time to think, reflect, analyze the situation, and make a decision. Do a time tracking exercise and analyze what is the best use of your time. Block time on your calendar each day for yourself. And hold to it. Learning from admired elders – Ask, ‘what is your greatest source of pride?’ ‘what is your greatest regret?’ - Invest the time to learn from someone who is older than you that you admire. How to be happier? Unhappy activities can be made less painful by reframing them (bundling them with something fun or remembering its purpose–why you’re doing it) Reflect back on your last two weeks. When did you feel the most joy? A weekly coffee date with your daughter? Swimming together? Whatever it is… How can you intentionally create more moments of joy for yourself? If you have less than two hours of free time (leading to feelings of stress) or more than five hours of free time (undermining your sense of purpose), you’ll likely feel unsatisfied in your life. In between is the sweet spot— and most of us can achieve this with a few simple exercises provided in this podcast.  Why we tend to put off current enjoyment for the sake of tasks we “should” do and why we should do this less. Dr. Holmes says we need to identify and commit to activities that make us happy so we don’t later feel regret from missing out on life’s good stuff. Focusing on time increases happiness because it motivates you to spend your time more deliberately. Recognizing that your remaining time is limited and thus precious helps you savor life’s everyday moments of joy. Tracking Time Exercise: based on how you’re currently spending and actually experiencing your hours, identify which times are truly the most and least happy. Connecting socially, spending time outside, and being mindful during the hours you spend have the greatest impact on the happiness experienced in your day. The Five Whys Exercise: uncover your purpose. Eulogy Exercise: learn what really matters to you by how you hope to be remembered. Gallup Poll: Do you have a best friend at work? Counting times left exercise: How many times have you done it in the past month? How many more do you have left? How many meals will you share with your parents? Realize that it's probably not that many. That realization will help you cherish the time.

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com  Twitter/IG @RyanHawk12     https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 My guest: Charlie Baker is Governor of Massachusetts. He has also served as CEO of Harvard Pilgrim Health Care, a top-performing healthcare insurance provider. According to a Morning Consult poll, he has a 74% approval rating which makes him the most popular Governor in America. He is the author of the new book, Results: Getting Beyond Politics to Get Important Work Done. Notes: Your receiver is more important than your transmitter.” “You have two ears and one mouth.” Charlie learned at a young age the importance of being a good listener. What he learned when he lost his first race: “Charlie, you spend too much time with your customers and not enough time with your prospects.” We all would benefit from talking with people who disagree with us… In the fall of 2014, Charlie was struggling to find a secretary of transportation… This is a huge job within an administration. Charlie said he was looking for a 50% player – someone who thought you had real issues and wasn’t interested in making things just 5% better, but dramatically better. A friend recommended “Stephanie Pollack.” She was a well-known, well-respected liberal Democrat… Charlie's work embraces openness and accountability. In the words, again, of John F. Kennedy, “Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.” He grew up the son of a moderate Republican father (who worked in the Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan administrations) and a liberal Democrat mother (a fierce advocate for education and services to support the most vulnerable in your community). His parents expected him and his brothers to participate in dinner table conversations about the issues of the day… The model his parents set led Charlie to never approach this work thinking that one side or the other was evil– or harbors bad intent. “Wedge issues may be great for making headlines, but they do not move us forward. Success is measured by what we accomplish together. Our obligation to the people we serve is too important to place politics and partisanship before progress and results.” People Are Policy – “Steve and I start here because you need to get this right or all else founders. This so-called soft stuff is in fact the hard stuff of governing,” the authors write. In many organizations, and especially in the public sector, more work is just piled upon existing staff and managers. Instead, building the team is synonymous with building the necessary people capacity, which may mean adding specific expertise in short bursts. Follow The Facts - Facts define the problem and provide points of navigation for a response. In addition to gathering data evidence, interviewing people and identifying points of pain brings the abstract down to the personal. Stories demonstrate real-world impact and establish concrete information that data alone cannot reveal. Focus On How – “How” is the bridge between the problems that emerge from the data evidence and the points of pain and meaningful impact. This two-part step—what to do and how to do it—ensures that proposed actions align with targeted results. Push For Results - Results are not an endpoint; they encompass objective evaluation. Once underway, the repetition of a particular cycle (measure, evaluate, adjust, repeat) leads to steady, sustainable results that can drive further progress. Charlie is not only about getting things done but about renewing people’s faith in public service.

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." You, along with 10,000+ learners will receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right. Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Brent Beshore is the Founder and CEO of Permanent Equity, a Midwestern-based private equity firm. They take a long-term approach to private equity, investing "permanent equity" in small to midsize privately held companies throughout North America. He’s also the best-selling author of The Messy Marketplace. Notes:   Growth without goals – Listed as one of Brent's foundations. “We believe the best path to sturdy growth is not a plan, but a posture.” It’s a belief in continuous improvement, optimism shining through some thick scars, and a healthy dose of humility. Growth comes from what you know you don't know. (which feels terrible). The harm comes from what you think you know or what you don't know you don't know. (which feels great or oblivious) Progress isn't made by sweeping proclamation or grand strategy. It's built by unglamorous daily activities that are often overlooked and under-appreciated.  In March 2016, Brent wrote a medium post about how to sell… “Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust.” — Zig Ziglar You have 30 minutes one-on-one with someone you know nothing about other than they are wildly successful personally and professionally. What questions do you ask to understand their life, tease out their life philosophy, and get advice? Great questions are the key that unlocks everything. Stop talking about yourself and be a student of others. No matter how important you think relationships are, they’re more important. Reliability is a superpower. Do what you say you would when you said you’d do it, for the price you said you’d do it for. Every single time. If you’re ever more focused on other people’s shortcomings than your own, you’re the problem. Important Qualities: High intellectual honesty Humility Optimism Life as a dad: "You will never be happier than your least happy child." "Culture is nothing more than what you reward and punish." Buffett and Munger" - "Both are thoughtful, kind, and generous." Enjoy life: "I didn't enjoy it in my 20's... Try to have an inner temperature of joy." It's important to sit down with sages... Older people: Ask, "How do you mark your days?" "We all have time for things we prioritize." Sales is a dirty word for a lot... It doesn't need to be. The best salespeople Brent knows aren't selling. They share what they know and how it could potentially help others. "Invite people into your world. Share a vision. Help them understand the cause. Give them an invitation to go along with you." Capital Camp - Shock people with hospitality. Help create meaningful relationships. Surround them with care and excellence. Writing - Use humor. Write like you talk. Brent chooses to be light-hearted because that's how he is in real life. Keys to being a great Dad: Love them unconditionally because of who they are We have confused what love is Show them love by what you don't tolerate

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of Mindful Monday. Receive a carefully curated email each Monday morning to help you start your week off right. Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG -- @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Ryan Holiday is the best selling author of 11 books including The Obstacle Is the Way, The Daily Stoic, Ego Is the Enemy, and Stillness is the Key which has sold millions of copies and been translated into thirty languages. His latest book is called Discipline is Destiny - The Power of Self Control. Notes: We must be in command of ourselves. We have to conquer ourselves before others. Self Discipline - Freedom is the opportunity for self-discipline. The trivial - The people who sustain excellence fall in love with the process. They don't cheat it. Choose to see obstacles as opportunities. Dr. Drew recommended to Ryan that he should read books about stoicism when he was 19. This was a pivotal moment. Carry The Load For Others  – General Jim Mattis. "The privilege of command is command. You don’t get a bigger tent. “Being the boss is a job. Being a leader is something you earn.” Seek Discomfort – Seneca was a rich man. He inherited estates from his father. He invested well. Yet every so often, for a few days, he would eat only the scantest fare and wear his coarest clothing. He would actively seek out discomfort, mimicking abject poverty and harsher life conditions.  Having a full calendar - "That doesn't seem like a rich life." Just show up — Consistency. Thomas Edison said “I’ve got no imagination. Thank never dream. I’ve created nothing.” The genius hangs around his laboratory day and night.” Your Why must be intrinsic. Just work - in Ancient Greece, there was a word to describe a ceaseless work ethic — philoponia  (about the author Joyce Carol Oates). She published a ton over the course of decades. Work out -- “Obviously the philosopher's life should be well prepared for physical activity.” — the Stoic Gaius Musonius Rufus explained, “because often the virtues make use of this as a necessary instrument for the affairs of low.” The strenuous life is the best life — exercise. You must take care of your body. And eat well. Endure - Shackelton’s family motto — “Fortitude Vincimus” — “By endurance we conquer.” George Washington — When he was 26, he watched a play about the Stoics and started repeating the phrase “in the calm light of mild philosophy.” Focus Focus Focus — In Yogic tradition they call this Ekagrata — intense focus on a singular point. Do the hard thing first — Mark Twain - “the idea is that if we eat the frog at the beginning of the day, it will be next to impossible for the day to get any worse.” Can you get back up? “Losing is not always up to us, but being a loser is. Being a quitter is.” Silence is Strength — The Spartans' “laconic” style. Never use 2 words when 1 will do. Archimedes once explained at a Spartan dinner, “An expert on speaking also knows when not to do so.” When Ryan speaks to NFL teams: "I try to give them one or two practical things to implement." Be Your Best - "Conquering the world is rather easy after we have fully conquered ourselves. Certainly fewer people have done the latter than the former.” Taking a stand - How successful are you really if you can't be yourself?" Lou Gehrig -  “When you love the work, you don’t cheat it or the demands it makes of you. You respect even the most trivial aspects of the pursuit.”

Text Hawk to 66866 to receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right! Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Bill George is a senior fellow at Harvard Business School, where he has taught leadership since 2004. He is the author of Discover Your True North, Authentic Leadership, and 7 Lessons for Leading in Crisis. Bill is the former chairman and chief executive officer of Medtronic.  He joined Medtronic in 1989 as president and chief operating officer, was the CEO from 1991-2001, and board chair from 1996-2002.  Earlier in his career, he was a senior executive with Honeywell and Litton Industries and served in the U.S. Department of Defense. Sustained excellence = Authentic, real, and vulnerable They know how to bring people together and inspire them They challenge, help, and coach people People do not want the Jack Welch style today.  How did Bill earn the CEO role at Medtronic? Team building - "I continued to develop leaders." "Do your current job exceptionally well, develop others, and don't think about your promotion." Give people an opportunity and a sense of purpose Your True North Make the shift from what you are to who you are Process your life story and the significant events The difficult times make you who you are What do you want them to say at your funeral? The "Coach" Acronym Care Organize Align Challenge Help "You must be a constant learner if you want to be a leader." Leadership Crucibles: Leadership is about relationships What Bill has learned teaching at Harvard It's a mistake to chase external expectations You need to be fulfilled by your work Keys to a great marriage: Communicate all the time You need to grow together Keys to being a great dad: Be there, be present Listen Bill shares what it's like leading through today’s challenges, creating inclusive cultures, and how to lead through crises. Bill shares the dangers of leading without True North, including case studies of Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg, WeWork’s Adam Neumann, Uber’s Travis Kalanick, and Theranos’s Elizabeth Holmes “Pursuing purpose with passion Practicing solid values Leading with heart Establishing enduring relationships Demonstrating self-discipline” “You need to be who you are, not try to emulate somebody else.” “The hardest person you will ever have to lead is yourself.” “The reality is that no one can be authentic by trying to be like someone else. There is no doubt you can learn from their experiences, but there is no way you can be successful trying to be like them. People trust you when you are genuine and authentic, not an imitation.” “The role of leaders is not to get other people to follow them but to empower others to lead.”

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of Mindful Monday. Receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12  https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Colin O’Brady 10-time World Record Holder. New York Times bestselling author of The Impossible First. Colin’s highly publicized expeditions have been followed by millions and his work has been featured in the New York Times, The Tonight Show, the BBC, The Joe Rogan Experience, and NBC’s Today. His feats include the world’s first solo, unsupported, and fully human-powered crossing of Antarctica; speed records for the Explorers Grand Slam and the Seven Summits; and the world’s first human-powered ocean row across the Drake Passage. His new book is called The 12 Hour Walk. Notes: What’s your Everest - The question he asked all the rich bankers that night that none had an answer to? What’s your answer? What are you doing to turn that into a reality? Limiting beliefs - “We are the stories we tell ourselves.” What story are you telling yourself about… Yourself? Life is on a scale of 1 to 10. Most people live most days around a 5 or 6. They don’t have any 1s and they don’t have any 10s. What can you do to change that? How can you live a life that has some 1s and 10s? Mantra: "Colin! You are strong. You are capable." The most important muscle is the brain.  The possible mindset: See the optimism in all opportunities. Colin's mom told him he could achieve anything that he set his mind to. Colin had an accident and caught on fire while jumping a flaming jump rope... His doctor told him that he would probably never walk again. At that moment, Colin set the goal to complete a triathlon. A year later, he WON the Chicago triathlon. With Colin as your guide, The 12-Hour Walk asks you to invest one day in yourself. The goal? Conquering your mind and becoming your best self. By walking alone, unplugging, listening to the voice within, and rewriting the limiting beliefs etched into your psyche, you can break free of the patterns holding you back and learn how to cultivate a “Possible Mindset”—an empowered way of thinking that unlocks a life of limitless possibilities. The reward: being the hero of your own destiny. Question to ask yourself: What is your Everest? What does fulfillment look like? You must take care of yourself first... Excellence: A deep connection with your why. PASSION. Genuine curiosity Love If no one was watching, would you still do it?

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." You, along with 10's of thousands of other Learning Leaders will receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12  https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Neal Foard has spent more than 20 years creating award-winning ad campaigns for clients on four continents. From the experience of thousands of presentations to clients all over the world, Neal has created The Passionate Logic Project™ to help business leaders sell their agendas more persuasively. He has been a featured speaker at TED and is recently known for his TikTok videos which have been viewed millions of times over the past few months. "There's nothing wrong with us that can't be fixed by what's right with us." The EQ of the gym bro – When someone is new on your team, ask them to help you out. Find a way to include them. Get them an early win. Make them feel part of the team as soon as possible. The element of mystery – Have an aha moment. Don’t spoil the punchline. Save the reveal for the end… Remember the Whitney Houston story? Your first words of a presentation or a meeting are the most valuable real estate you have. Don’t waste them. Be thoughtful. Practice. Don’t tell them “I’m so excited to be here…” Launch with intrigue, with movement, with a story… How To Use Power – “The thing that gave him more joy than anything was using power to make life more amazing for his team, make you feel like you mattered to him.” – “All business is personal. The best business is very personal.” - Rick Lenz Data is a tool - Our first use of it should be to make people smile. – Your family trip to Disney World… What happened? The Physics of a Bright Smile – The most important decision you can make is to be in a good mood. - Voltaire What Motivates people: Lillian Moore shares a quick story that reveals what really motivates people: "A few months after my husband and I moved to a small Massachusetts town I grumbled to a resident about the poor service at the library, hoping she would repeat my complaints to the librarian. The next time I went to the library, the librarian had set aside two bestsellers for me and a new biography for my husband. What's more, she appeared to be genuinely glad to see me. Later I reported the miraculous change to my friend. "I suppose you told her how poor we thought the service was?" I asked. "No," she confessed. "In fact—I hope you don't mind—I told her your husband was amazed at the way she had built up this small-town library, and that you thought she showed unusually good taste in the new books she ordered." Source: Reader's Digest (Similar to Neal's coffee story. “Puuuurfect”) Begin each story with a vague suggestion that there's a lesson to be learned by the end... Steve Martin - Do NOT begin a talk with, "Hey, how's everybody doing?" A leader's job is to facilitate their people's best work. Presentations: Do not read bullet points. If you do that, you're just passing along information. You need to attach emotion to it. How to be more persuasive? Be willing to listen and open to changing your mind. Send the signal to them that we can do it. We're not there to win. The power of listening is underrated. Learn what does and doesn't matter to them. "People don't change their minds unless they want to."

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Eric Barker is the author of The Wall Street Journal bestseller “Barking Up the Wrong Tree,” which has sold over half a million copies and been translated into 19 languages. It was even the subject of a question on “Jeopardy!” Over 500,000 people have subscribed to his weekly newsletter. His work has been covered by The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Financial Times, and others. Eric is also a sought-after speaker, having given talks at MIT, Yale, Google, the United States Military Central Command (CENTCOM), and the Olympic Training Center. His latest book is called “Plays Well with Others." Love – Casanova said, “love is three-quarters curiosity.” That curiosity creates deep knowledge… And that helps you build what researcher John Gottman calls, a “love map.” “Everyone asks how you got together; nobody asks how you stayed together. And it’s the latter that is often the real achievement to be proud of.” Your WHO: Take your health, for example. The Framingham study showed that drinking, smoking, and obesity are all quite contagious. If someone you consider a friend becomes obese, your likelihood of obesity increases by 53%. And if the friendship is mutual, the number rises to 171%. "Friends are only there because you want them to be." "Friends make us happier than any other relationship." How to build deeper relationships with friends? Time Be vulnerable -- "Relationships move at the speed of vulnerability." How to make your relationship with your partner better? Do exciting things together - Be proactive Leverage emotional contagion - Associate feelings with events Bill Perkins - "Create memory dividends." You need to learn and grow together John Gottman asks couples to tell their stories... The ones that stick together celebrate the difficulties Profiling - “Humans are prone to seeing meaning when there is none.” There’s a fundamental reason that astrologers outnumber astronomers. Emotionally we want a feeling of control over the world around us. We desperately need the world to at least seem to make sense. And for that, we need a story, even if it isn’t true. Confirmation bias: what is it? And what are the 3 ways to resist it? Feel accountable Distance before decision Consider the opposite Lying — how can you spot a liar?  The average college student lies in about a third of conversations. For adults, it’s 1 in 5. In online dating, 81% of profiles deviate from the truth. And we are terrible at detecting lies, averaging a 54% success rate. So how do we become better at understanding if someone is lying? This system takes patience (so it isn’t useful for little lies but can be powerful for bigger issues). “The science overwhelming recommended a nuanced and sophisticated method humans have never tried in the past 5,000 years when attempting to detect lies: being nice. Never be a bad cop, be a friendly journalist. You have to get them to like you. To open up. To talk a lot. And to make a mistake that reveals deception. Don’t accuse. Be curious. Optimism – Shawn Achor’s Ted Talk (so funny and fast). MET Life saw such great results among happy salespeople that they tried an experiment: they started hiring people based on optimism. It turns out that the optimistic group outsold their more pessimistic counterparts by 19% in year one and 57% in year two. "Writing a book is like telling a joke and having to wait two years to know whether or not it was funny." —ALAIN DE BOTTON Eric writes to start his new book... Henry Thomas Buckle once said: “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” I’m here to discuss people. Leveraging the best evidence available—free of platitudes or magical thinking—Eric analyzes multiple sides of an issue before rendering his verdict. What he’s uncovered is surprising, counterintuitive, and timely—and will change the way you interact in the world and with those around you just when you need it most. Life/Career advice: Set your personal definition of success "You need to be able to say this is enough."