549: Dr. Sara Kuburic - Take Ownership, Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your SELF, & Change Your Life (It's On Me)
Oct 15, 2023
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Dr. Sara Kuburic, an existential psychotherapist, discusses the importance of taking ownership and accepting hard truths. She reflects on her experiences growing up in war, the impact of trauma, and the need for therapy. They also explore the idea of being disliked, the benefits of therapy, and the importance of empowerment and active listening.
Taking responsibility for our own lives and actions is crucial for personal growth and development.
Self-awareness and understanding the ways in which our early experiences shape who we are are essential for personal healing and growth.
Asking deep, thought-provoking questions to ourselves and others contributes to a greater emphasis on self-awareness, self-discovery, and self-expression to achieve true happiness.
Deep dives
The Power of Taking Responsibility
Taking responsibility for our own lives and actions is crucial for personal growth and development. It allows us to make choices that align with our values and take control of our own happiness. Dr. Sarah Kubrick emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility and avoiding the tendency to blame others or circumstances for our challenges. She encourages individuals to reflect on their actions, values, and beliefs, and make intentional choices that lead to personal fulfillment.
The Impact of Childhood Experiences
Dr. Sarah Kubrick opens up about her own childhood experiences growing up during wartime and the impact it had on her life. She discusses how trauma can often go unnoticed or be normalized, delaying the realization of its effects. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and understanding the ways in which our early experiences shape who we are. Through her own journey, she discovers the power of taking responsibility for her own healing and growth.
The Importance of Asking Deep Questions
In one conversation, Dr. Sarah Kubrick was asked if she was happy, a question that completely unraveled her. She highlights the significance of asking deep, thought-provoking questions to ourselves and others. Many conversations revolve around superficial topics, and the question of true happiness is often overlooked. Dr. Kubrick encourages a greater emphasis on self-awareness, self-discovery, and self-expression to truly understand and achieve happiness.
Visualization as a Therapeutic Tool
Dr. Sarah Kubrick discusses the use of visualization in therapy and personal growth. She uses visualization exercises to allow clients to fully immerse themselves in a specific experience, helping them gain a deeper understanding and connection to their emotions and actions. Visualization serves as a powerful tool for self-reflection and discovery, and it can provide a unique perspective on personal challenges and growth.
The Power of Active Listening
Dr. Sarah Kubrick emphasizes the importance of active listening in building deep and meaningful connections. She discusses the skills and qualities necessary for effective listening, including genuine care, full presence, and reflective feedback. By truly listening to others, we can foster understanding, validate their experiences, and create a space for growth and support.
Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of your fellow learning leaders and receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right...
Change happens when we feel empowered. It’s on us to take responsibility for our lives and help others take responsibility for theirs. As leaders, change is more likely to happen for the people we are serving if we help them feel empowered.
Listening is not a passive activity. Take it seriously. It starts with genuinely caring for the person you’re in conversation with.
“Being disliked is a rite of passage.” Being disliked is normal. Being uncomfortable about being disliked is also normal. Reminding your Self that how you feel about your Self matters more than how others feel about you is key.
Sense of self – “Sense of self is not something that is found… We create our sense of self…”
"My interest in psychology stems from my personal experience living through wars, navigating complex relationships, and continually learning what it means to be human."
This book is about facing ourselves –whatever version that might be, regardless of whether or not we like the person we see reflected back to us. It's about what's possible once we realize that we are responsible for who we become and how we live our lives (a daunting, but profoundly liberating idea). IT'S ON US to figure out the two most essential questions: "Who am I" and "Why am I here?" and then live accordingly.
"I am thankful for my struggle because, without it, I wouldn't have stumbled across my strength."
Repeat out loud: "I will stop giving second chances to people who don't want it, won't use it, or don't deserve it."
"The deepest form of loneliness comes from being estranged from ourselves, not from others."
"Comparison doesn’t just steal our joy, it also screws with our perspective."
"Mistakes don’t have to define you. But what you choose to do after a mistake often does."
"Just a gentle reminder: The worst-case scenario that you’re playing out in your head is probably not going to happen."
"Don’t confuse the snippets you get to see of someone’s life (through media or a casual conversation) as their whole story. Give each other the courtesy of curiosity. Allow people to be undefined in your mind. Actively seek to see them, and allow them to show you who they are."
"If you don’t have all the information, stop filling in the blanks with your imagination, fears or projections. It’s better to learn to sit with an unclear picture than to carry around an inaccurate one."
"Instant gratification can be a form of self-harm."
"If you’re doing the work, you deserve to be with someone who is also doing the work. It’s simple."
"Relationship tip: When someone tells you what they want (or don’t want) through words or actions — listen. Stop assuming you know better than they do. It’s not your job to read their mind, anticipate their needs, or save them."
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