JB Copeland's Sappy Hour

In this powerful conversation, JB Copeland sits down with Dr. Gabor Maté, world-renowned physician and author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, to unpack the deep link between trauma, addiction, and healing.We explore how childhood wounds shape adult struggles — from people-pleasing and guilt, to the way addiction becomes a survival strategy. Dr. Maté shares profound insights on why we suffer, how our bodies store pain, and what it really takes to begin the journey toward freedom.If you’ve ever felt stuck in old patterns, battled self-blame, or wondered why moving forward feels so hard — this episode will give you clarity, compassion, and practical wisdom.✨ In this episode:Why addiction is not the problem, but the attempt to solve oneHow childhood experiences shape self-worth and emotional survivalThe role of guilt, shame, and people-pleasing in adult relationshipsWhy facing our deepest emotions is the first step to healingPractical shifts for self-compassion, forgiveness, and recoveryDr. Maté reminds us that healing isn’t about perfection — it’s about reconnection with self.🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.📘 Read JB’s new book Sappy Medium☎️ Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📲 Follow @jb_copeland for daily insights

Why do we stay in jobs, relationships, or situations that look good — but don’t feel right? In this episode of Sappy Hour, JB lays out The 6 Steps to Alignment: a science-backed, soul-centered framework to stop forcing connections and start living in flow.Here’s what we cover:Why forcing connection always creates resistance (Psychological Reactance, Brehm, 1966)The danger of living in roles you’ve outgrown (Self-Concept Clarity, Campbell, 1996)Why urgency comes from fear, not clarity (relationship-contingent self-esteem research)The science of choosing intrinsic values over external validation (Deci & Ryan, 1985)How to trust yourself when others don’t understand your choices (Asch’s conformity experiments)Why protecting your energy is the ultimate form of alignment (Ego Depletion, Baumeister, 1998)✨ Quote from the pod:“Alignment always costs comfort. Sometimes that cost looks like walking away from a good person who just isn’t your person.”This episode is for anyone who feels “stuck” in something that looks good on paper — but deep down, you know it isn’t aligned.📞 Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📘 Read JB’s book Sappy Medium🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple, and YouTube📲 Follow @jb_copeland on Instagram & TikTok

Betrayal cuts deep. It makes you question your worth, your choices, and sometimes even life itself. But here’s the truth: pain doesn’t mean you’re powerless.In this episode of Sappy Hour, JB responds to two powerful voicemails from young men who’ve been hurt, let down, and left doubting themselves. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, JB delivers the tough love and real-world guidance needed to shift from despair to dignity.You’ll learn:Why betrayal feels like identity-shock and how to recover from itThe hidden cost of self-betrayal — and how to rebuild self-trust step by stepThe psychology of learned helplessness (Seligman) and how to break freeHow scars can become standards, not shameWhy the world is neutral — and how your story determines your outcomesPractical steps to stop looping in pain and start creating momentum againThis isn’t about denial. It’s about choosing strength over stagnation, and realizing the world isn’t against you… but it also won’t wait for you.📞 Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📘 Read JB’s new book Sappy MediumUSE CODE SAPPYHOUR10 FOR 10% OFF THE BOOK AND ANYTHING ELSE BY INTELLIGENT CHANGE. 🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple, and YouTube

You’ve been hurt before. Betrayed, abandoned, lied to. And now you’re in something new — but instead of feeling safe, you catch yourself waiting for it to collapse.This episode of Sappy Hour is about how to stop dragging your past into your present. We’ll unpack why unresolved wounds make you project, how your body holds on to old betrayal, and the difference between healthy caution and self-sabotage.Inside, I’ll break down:Why unresolved pain makes you project fears onto people who haven’t earned themThe psychology of “emotional residue” and why your body still scans for dangerHow to tell healthy caution apart from destructive paranoiaThe right way to communicate your fears without making your new partner pay for your pastHow to rebuild trust — in yourself, your choices, and love itselfIf you’ve ever flinched at kindness, over-analyzed texts, or waited for the other shoe to drop — this episode will help you breathe again. Your past doesn’t get to dictate your future.🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple, or YouTube📘 Read JB’s new book Sappy Medium☎️ Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📲 Follow @jb_copeland on Instagram & TikTok

In this episode of Sappy Hour, JB Copeland dives deep into one of the hardest questions after heartbreak: How do you move on when you never got closure? Drawing on powerful studies from psychology and neuroscience, JB breaks down why your brain hates uncertainty, why unfinished stories keep replaying, and how to finally write the ending yourself. You’ll learn the “Ambiguity Trap,” the “Open Tab Effect,” and how to turn your breakup into the plot twist that changes your life. Whether you’re replaying a last conversation on a loop or struggling to trust again, this episode will help you understand the science behind your pain — and give you the tools to close the loop for good.Themes​Why rejection can actually be a miracle in disguise.​The Ambiguity Trap: why uncertainty feels like torture.​The Open Tab Effect and why your brain keeps replaying the breakup.​How naming your pain calms your brain’s alarm system.​Narrative Mastery: reframing loss as a turning point in your story.​Declaring your own closure and breaking the dependency on their answers.​How to soothe uncertainty with self-certainty.​30 days free on OPEN - MEDITATION & BREATHWORK​link here​​📘 Read JB’s new book ⁠Sappy Medium​link here​use code SAPPYHOUR10 for 10% off on the book and anything Intelligent Change​​☎️ Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461​📲 Follow @jb_copeland on Instagram and TikTok for daily truth drops

It’s easy to mistake intensity for intimacy — those whirlwind relationships that feel deep from the start, only to vanish without warning. In this episode, JB breaks down why fast, passionate connections can still fall apart, and how to spot if someone is truly ready for a healthy relationship. You’ll learn the difference between excitement and safety, the signs of emotional readiness, and how to avoid the “anxious–avoidant dance” that keeps you hooked on people who can’t stay.The Illusion of Over-Intimacy — Why fast, intense beginnings can mimic true connection without the capacity to sustain it.Real Emotions vs Real Readiness — How someone can mean what they say… but still not be ready for a relationship.Signs of Emotional Maturity — The behavioral evidence that someone can actually handle intimacy.Intensity vs Intimacy — Urgency and fireworks versus trust and safety.The Anxious–Avoidant Dance — How your openness can trigger withdrawal, and their withdrawal can trigger your anxiety.Why It Hurts So Much — How false intimacy activates the same neural pathways as physical pain.Abundance Over Urgency — How slowing down and observing builds a foundation for real love.🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube: 📘 Read JB’s new book Sappy Medium ☎️ Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📲 Follow @jb_copeland on Instagram and TikTok for daily truth drops

You’re not crazy. You’re trauma bonded.In this episode of Sappy Hour, JB Copeland breaks down the psychological trap that keeps people stuck in toxic love loops... even when they know it’s not healthy.This episode is for anyone who:– Keeps missing someone who hurt them– Feels addicted to emotional chaos– Can’t stop blaming themselves after being left– Is waiting for closure that may never comeIt’s not love. It’s your nervous system trying to survive.And until you see the pattern, you’ll keep calling it “fate.”👁️‍🗨️ Topics & Undercurrents We Explore:🔁 Trauma Bonding– Emotional addiction to inconsistency. -Intermittent reinforcement & dopamine withdrawal– “Highs and lows” mistaken for chemistry“We are not addicted to the person. We’re addicted to the emotional rollercoaster they create.”— Shahida Arabi, MA⚠️ Survival Mode Disguised as Personality– Apathy, disinterest, and detachment aren’t your identity– They’re coping tools that once kept you safe“Hyper-independence is the belief that asking for help makes you weak. But it’s often the wound talking.”— Dr. Nicole LePera🧠 Emotional Numbness & Burnout– You can’t feel joy, but you also can’t feel pain– You're emotionally exhausted — not just from life, but from carrying relationships🔁 Pattern Repetition & Cognitive Dissonance– Why you keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners– The war between what you feel and what you know💭 Self-Gaslighting & Shame Loops– Downplaying your needs to keep the peace– “Maybe I am too much…” becomes a silent script“Shame is the lie someone told you about yourself.”— Anaïs Nin💔 Identity Crisis After a Breakup– You’re not just grieving them... you’re grieving who you were with them– What happens when the version of you that loved deeply is left behind?🚩 The Fixer Complex & Emotional Breadcrumbing– Attracting broken people to avoid facing your own wounds– Staying for “just enough” — not because it's good, but because it’s familiar🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube: 📘 Read JB’s new book Sappy Medium ☎️ Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📲 Follow @jb_copeland on Instagram and TikTok for daily truth drops

They pursued you. Said they were ready.Made it feel safe to open up.And then... they left. Or faded. Or got “confused.”Now you're the one left behind — trying to make sense of it all.In this episode of Sappy Hour, JB answers two emotional voicemails:💔 The first — from someone still stuck in the confusion of a breakup that started with deep connection… and ended in silence.🧠 The second — from someone lost after love ended, trying to reconnect to their inner compass and find clarity again.This episode is about the limbo after love. The in-between where you're not who you were… and not yet who you're becoming.—👁️‍🗨️ What we unpack:Why people pull away after things get real. What “be patient with me” really means.The sacred season of emotional limboHow to rebuild after a breakup without losing yourselfPractical steps for restoring clarity, energy, and self-worthWhy you attract how you feel about yourself (and how to shift that)—📘 JB’s new book Sappy Medium is out now: 📞 Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple, and YouTube: link—Release & Return Practice (20–40 min)Intention: “I release the version of us that cannot continue, and I return my energy to myself.”What You’ll Need- Paper + pen (2 sheets minimum)- Something safe to burn or tear/shred (bowl, lighter, water, or trash bag)- A small object that represents self (stone, ring, bracelet, necklace, something she’ll see often)- Step 1 – Ground the Body (3 min)Sit or stand with feet on the floor. Inhale through nose 4, hold 2, exhale out mouth 8. Repeat 5 rounds. Then do a 30-second shake out: arms, legs, jaw, shoulders. (Shaking helps discharge sympathetic arousal—trauma-informed practitioners use it to down-regulate.)Cue: “I’m in my body. I’m safe enough to feel this.”- Step 2 – Name the Two Truths (5–7 min writing)On Paper #1, draw a line down the middle.Left column: “What I Loved / What I’ll Miss.” Include the small things: the laugh, road trips, the way he cared about your family.Right column: “What Couldn’t Work / What Cost Me.” Patterns, misalignment, emotional exhaustion, waiting to be chosen, living in maybe.Why: Holding both truths prevents the brain from idealizing or demonizing—key to unhooking.- Step 3 – The Unlived Life Letter (5–10 min)On Paper #2, write a letter beginning:
“To the life we never got to live…”Include: - The future you imagined- What you wanted them to see in you (and her family)- What you hoped the relationship would become- The moment you knew it wouldn’t work- Gratitude for what it awakened- anything else you'd likeA line of release: “I can’t keep waiting at a door that’s closed. I release you to your path and I return to mine.”No edits. This is emotional drainage, not literature.- Step 4 – Read & Feel (3–5 min)Read the letter out loud. When emotion rises, breathe into it—no swallowing tears. Let the body complete the affect cycle.Cue: “This mattered. That’s why it hurts.”- Step 5 – Symbolic Release (2 min)Burn (safely) or tear/shred both sheets. As they transform:Say:
“I release the version of us that lives only in memory. I keep the lessons. I keep my heart. I return my energy to me.”- Step 6 – Anchor the Return (1 min)Hold the small object (stone, ring, etc.) to your chest.Say:
“When I reach for you, I reach for me instead.”Wear or carry it for the next 30 days. Each time you want to check his stories, touch the object, breathes, and re-chooses yourself. This creates a replacement cue.- Step 7 – Close the Container (1 min)Stand, shake again, inhale arms up, exhale hands to heart.Final line:
“Chapter closed. Heart open.”

You got clear headed. You stopped chasing.You’re doing everything “right.” So why does it still feel so empty? In this episode of Sappy Hour, JB responds to two voicemails from listeners who are deep in the in-between - not who they used to be, but not quite who they’re becoming.We unpack:- The loneliness of sobriety and self-respect- Why healing often feels like rejection- How to stop mistaking stillness for failure- What to do when you feel like you’re doing all the work and still hurting. If you're healing, and still feel lost — this one is for you.📞 Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📕 New Book Out Now: Sappy Medium by JB Copelandat the link below. Use SAPPYHOUR10 for book purchase & any Intelligent Change purchase for 10% off. 🎧 Listen On: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, & more hoo.be/jbcopeland⏱️ OUTLINE- Voicemail #1: Healing After a Breakup & Sobriety. 6-month post-breakup reflection. Choosing sobriety (53 days). Struggling with loneliness, boredom, and emotional flatness. Navigating life post-relationship and post-drinking. - JB’s Response: This Isn’t Emptiness — It’s Transition. "You feel rejected, but you’re actually being refined." The ache of doing everything ‘right’ and still hurting. Sobriety is subtraction before it's clarity. AA, routine, and rediscovering joy on the other side of stillness. - Reframing Healing: You're Not Behind. “You’re not broken. You’re just finally sober enough to feel.” The danger of comparing your healing to someone else’s highlight reel. Why stillness doesn’t mean stuck.- Voicemail #2: Feeling Like You’re Always the Problem. Self-doubt from past patterns. Wanting healthy love but attracting rejection. Over-identifying with the pain.- JB’s Response: The Mirror Theory. We reflect how we feel about ourselves. Rejection isn’t always rejection — sometimes it’s protection. Gentle truth: how we treat ourselves teaches others how to treat us. “You’re not too much. You’ve just never been fully seen.”- Final Word: What to Remember When You’re Doing the Work" Just because it hurts doesn’t mean it’s not working."What to do in the in-between. You’re not stuck — you’re shedding.

You gave your heart.They pulled away.Now you're left with silence… and pain that won’t explain itself.In this episode of Sappy Hour, we unpack two real voicemails from people who got left — one ghosted after a deep connection, the other grieving a relationship that felt like forever.But this isn’t just about them. It’s about you.Why they left (and what it wasn’t about)What the pain is actually pointing toHow to stop chasing clarity and start building self-trustThe 6 steps to stop relapsing into heartbreakAnd the truth: your soul is trying to reroute youIf you’ve been left on read, left behind, or left wondering… this one is for you.You’re not too much. You’re not too late. You’re not broken.🥀 Call the Sappy Hotline → 888-444-9461 🎧 Watch & Listen on Spotify, YouTube, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts.—Hit subscribe if you’re healing. I drop new episodes every Friday.Real talk. Real hurt. Real hope. Mostly Vibes. Thanks for tuning in to JB Copeland's Sappy Hour.If it moved you, made you think, or made you feel less alone — share it with someone you care about📚 Sponsored byIntelligent Change— use code SAPPYHOUR10 for 10% off📖 My new book Sappy Medium is out now.Let’s stay connected:📸 Instagram: @jb_copeland🌐 Everything else: hoo.be/jbcopeland