Therapist Uncensored Podcast

From navigating power dynamics to utilizing healthy aggression – this series covered many layers of our our natural defense systems. But how do we navigate something we don’t know is there? Ann and Sue are back with one final session to help shift our perspectives and disarm our defenses. This is the 5th episode in a series of 5.  You can start anywhere but if you prefer to start at the beginning of the series click here for Session 1.  Throughout this five-session series, we’ve explored different defenses, self-reflection, and navigation our own often unconscious internal protection systems. But how do we navigate something we aren’t aware of in the first place? In this episode, Ann and Sue recap the material we’ve learned and take a dive into suppression versus repression. Organizing defenses on a continuum can help us tap into our own emotions, and better regulate our responses to the triggers of the world. However, it is also important to detach the narrative of being “good and bad,” when it comes to our defenses, and recognize they are little parts of who we are that are constantly evolving. Whether it’s projection, appearing to be a “know it all”, power dynamics, ceding, or even being forgetful – we express our unconscious and conscious defenses in multiple ways. Join in exploring your own personal arsenal with curiosity and recognition of the care that drives it. “Some of these defenses are biological. Some are related to religion, culture – you name it. The stew that makes us human come to play in what we’re able to tolerate, take in, and allow ourselves to struggle with. When we can see it, we can then begin to reckon with it.” – Sue Marriott Time Stamps for Connecting with Your Subconscious – Episode 187 7:44 – Understanding the hierarchy of defense 8:22 – Reviewing the primitive defenses 8:49 – Suppression vs repression 14:55 – The role of “splitting” in our self-image 16:47 – Why healthy denial is essential 20:44 – Recognizing defenses are not black and white 28:24 – “Forgetting” as a defense 43:42 – The issue with compliance 48:35 – Definition of “ceding” in defenses CLICK HERE FOR THE DEFENSE SERIES, SESSION 5 TRANSCRIPTS – Episode 187  – Lightly edited for readability We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, extra episodes, and very unique study opportunities   Dipsea is an app that brings you socially responsible sexy stories made by and for those who identify as women. Women often have sexual trauma on top of hurtful cultural messaging around sexuality, so finding a new product that can safely reconnect you to an important essence of yourself is very positive.  Dipsea promotes sexual and sensual health via imagination in a way that is safe, discreet, and respectful.  Reconnect to parts of you that might have been neglected, find things you didn’t know you were into, or just gain more confidence in the bedroom, whether you have someone with you or not.  Check it out totally free using our link – this gives you a full 30 days to explore what they are all about dipseastories.com/tu or just click HERE.     Zocdoc can help you find therapists and psychiatrists and doctors of all sorts and flavors that your family may need that are close to you, taking new patients, and even taking your insurance. Find the doctor that is right for you, and book an appointment, in person or remotely, that works for your schedule. Go to Zocdoc.com/TU and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. No more excuses not to take care of yourself – check it out and book now, many providers are available within 24 hours. Interested in more content? Check out our full episodes and other bonus clips from the show on our Youtube Channel. Please like, comment & subscribe! Thanks for stopping by, we hope the podcast (and these show notes) offer quality education and insight about interpersonal relating.  

Aggression can be a good thing.  It seems backward, right?  Aggression is not a feeling – it is a behavior that is frequently associated with feelings such as anger, fear and even hunger.  It is a vital energy that propels us forward with an intention. Aggression can be both a positive or negative resource to help us navigate our personal goals, increase intimacy within our relationships, and to act as a catalyst for change when paired with desire. Follow along as Jeanne Bunker and Sue Marriott break down the negative connotations and provide perspective to harness this resource and help reclaim healthy aggression. We’re going to figure out how to use that aggressive energy – that life giving energy – to propel us forward. – Jeanne Bunker Aggression is a potentially healthy life force    Jeanne Bunker – internationally-respected group therapist and bad-ass martial artist Jeanne Bunker , LCSW, CGP, FAGPA, has had a psychotherapy practice in Austin, TX, working with groups, individuals, and couples since 1993.  Passionate about teaching and mentoring, Jeanne is a faculty member at the Center for Group Studies in NYC, a frequent presenter for the American Group Psychotherapy Association, has taught internationally (Russia, Romania, Spain), and conducts various ongoing training groups for clinicians. She writes about gender, women’s concerns, oppression, and Modern Analysis. To support her own growth and balance, Jeanne studies and teaches Tai Chi and Kung Fu within the Shaolin-Do tradition. Time Stamps for Healthy Aggression – Ep 186 2:47 – The definition of aggression 8:41 – Distinguishing between aggression and anger and other emotions 15:21 – Connection between aggression and desire 25:30 – The role of aggression in intimacy 30:25 – Creative and constructive versus destructive expression of aggression 37:51 – Example scenario: practicing healthy aggression 50:26 – How “call out culture” can be a defense Resources for Healthy Aggression, Ep 186 Jeanne Bunker’s Website The Center for Group Studies – NYC American Group Psychotherapy Assn – excellent resource for training in group therapy JLBunker@prodigy.net – Contact email – she’d love to hear from you Podcast on the science behind aggression – Huberman Labs CLICK HERE FOR DISARMING HUMAN DEFENSES WITH JEANNE BUNKER TRANSCRIPT – Episode 186  – Lightly edited for readability Other related Therapist Uncensored Episodes – or use the search button on our website to find your topics of interest Episode 156:  What actually heals in therapy with Dr. Nancy McWilliams  Episode 168:  Calling in the Call Out Culture with Loretta Ross   We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch salesto organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content and very unique study opportunities. Sponsors who help make these episodes free and available to all – support them to support us! FOR OUR LISTENERS AG1 is offering $30 off if you order by the end of September with our link. We all know that gut health impacts mood and brain function, but what the heck do you do to support gut health?  We’ve got you covered by partnering with our sponsor, Athletic Greens product, AG1.  AG1 is Ann and Sue’s once-a-day drink that delivers all the basics of important vitamins, minerals, and probiotics. As a TU Listener, Athletic Greens is gives you a free 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Plus, supporting our sponsors supports the show which supports mental health access, so go to www.athleticgreens.com/therapistuncensored or click HERE.  Like what you are hearing? Check out new videos of our full episodes and other bonus clips from the show on our Youtube Channel.Drop us a note there as well, we love hearing from you. Thanks for stopping by, we hope the podcast (and these show notes) offer quality education and insight about interpersonal relating.  To spread the word about secure relating it helps to rate and review the podcast on our favorite podcast player or simply sharing this episode with someone you think could use the free therapy!  

Power can be associated with safety, but when misused it can also be a key indicator of a lack of emotional security and a common defensive move. We call it power over versus empowered with and it’s a tricky move because it’s so supported culturally we frequently don’t realize we are taking over. This is the 3rd episode in a series of 5.  You can start anywhere but if you prefer to start at the beginning of the series click here for Session 1 or here for Session 2. Join us for free therapy boot camp by going through this series and reflecting on how you relate and what patterns you might want to change interpersonally. When you unconsciously deem “power” as what keeps you “safe” in vulnerable situations, reflecting and rewiring on this dynamic can transform your connections. Human defenses are quite necessary to protect our nervous system and sense of self. The goal isn’t to eliminate defenses – but to learn how to regulate them, especially in relationships. Defenses can often feel triggered when there is an uneven power dynamic expressed in a relationship and can be influenced by outside factors like gender socialization, culture, or personal history. Tune in as Ann and Sue reflect on their own experiences, shame, and navigating power dynamics to form deeper connections. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/185 Join our private Neuronerd community at www.therapistuncensored.com/join. “Anytime we focus on the power-over position – it can’t be a safe connection. It communicates to your own nervous system that ‘You need to be more alone to be safe…’ It ends up being a self-perpetuating experience.”  – Ann Kelley Time Stamps for Power Dynamics – Episode 185 2:47 – Deep dive into the dismissive/”one-upping” defense tactic 9:57 – The role of gender socialization in this defense 14:41 – Addressing shame in relation to defense 24:36 – How our culture breeds narcissism and “one-down” defenses 34:55 – Interactive exercise for vulnerability 45:31 – Reviewing the “Three R’s” spiral CLICK HERE FOR THE DEFENSE SERIES, SESSION 3 TRANSCRIPTS on power dynamics – Episode 185  – Lightly edited for readability Related Therapist Uncensored Episodes  https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/call-out-culture-168/ We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, extra episodes, and very unique study opportunities   Sponsors who help make these episodes free and available to all – please do check them out to support the show! ACTION ALERT – For a limited time only our partner AG1 is offering our listeners $30 off if purchased by the end of September.  This is in addition to the free 1 year supply of Vit D and travel packs.  What is AG1?  It is the shake Ann and Sue both drink every morning because it actually tastes good and it provides a power-punch of all the good wellness ingredients including for gut health! Redeem here  www.athleticgreens.com/therapistuncensored! $75 credit alert for our listeners!  Ann and Sue aren’t tech-savvy so they appreciate how easy it is to use and navigate Indeed.  It is the hiring platform where you can attract, interview, and hire all in one place. Find top talent fast with Indeed’s suite of powerful hiring tools like Instant Match, Assessments, and Virtual Interviews. Hate waiting? Indeed’s US data shows over 80% of Indeed employers find quality candidates, whose resume on Indeed matches their job description, the MOMENT they sponsor a job. Start hiring now with a seventy-five dollar sponsorship credit to post your job post at Indeed.com/therapistuncensored If you are the tent pole holding up support for other people, you may want to make sure they are protected should something happen to you.  Policygenius is an insurance marketplace that makes it easy to compare quotes from top companies like AIG and Prudential in one place to find your lowest price on life insurance. You could save 50% or more on life insurance by comparing quotes and options start at just $17 per month for $500,000 of coverage.  The licensed agents at Policygenius work for you, not the insurance companies and it doesn’t cost you a thing to use their services. Policygenius.com  Interested in more content? Check out our full episodes and other bonus clips from the show on our Youtube Channel. Please like, comment & subscribe!

Our friend the hippocampus! Neuronerds – this one is for you. What exactly is happening in our brains when we feel defensive? We go beyond the basics of the amygdala and the pre-frontal cortex and deep dive into the hippocampus to help us understand more deeply what is happening under the surface of our problematic behaviors. The hippocampus deep dive is part 2 of a 5-part series and you can pick it up anywhere.  However, if you prefer to start at the beginning, click here to go to Session 1.   In the last episode, we explored what Sue and Ann call the 3-R spiral of change, Recognize, Reflect and Rewire.  We also identified various common defenses. In this episode, Ann & Sue break down the different areas of our brain, and discuss the roles each can play in our defense responses. Understanding the critical interplay between the amygdala and hippocampus gives us more insight into our own behavior and sheds light on how our history can intrude today. They explain the concept of “coherent narrative” and discuss applying the 3 R Spiral to our relationships and personal healing. By blending neuroscience and these strategies, we can begin to sort through our unconscious defenses and rewire the ways in which we navigate our interpersonal world. “If you’re someone that needs to be right or needs to be giving advice – you might not recognize that’s your own defense. It feels familiar and good to you, but is actually cutting off your ability to attend your own vulnerability…. it’s not enhancing your relationality.” – Ann Kelley Time Stamps – the Hippocampus as a Defense Regulator   1:39 – What is a defense versus what is an adaptation? 7:46 – Recognizing the critical role of our hippocampus as a regulator of our defense systems 15:10 – Understanding coherent narrative – it’s an outcome of neural integration 25:27 – Using mindfulness in the defense process CLICK HERE for the transcript of: Our Friend the Hippocampus, Disarming Human Defenses with Ann & Sue Session 2  – Episode 184  – Lightly edited for readability Session 1 of the series starts here!  Other Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes (on Mindfulness) https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/find-your-focus-own-your-attention-with-dr-amishi-jha-177/ https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/its-not-communication-you-need-its-connection-with-guest-john-howard-178/ We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. If this show brings you and those you care about value, please consider joining us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, extra episodes, and very unique study opportunities.  Sponsors who help make these episodes free and available to all – check them out to support the show!  We all know that gut health impacts mood and brain function, but what the heck do you do to support gut health?  We’ve got you covered by partnering with our sponsor, Athletic Greens product, AG1.  AG1 is Ann and Sue’s once-a-day drink that delivers all the basics of important vitamins, minerals, and probiotics. As a TU Listener, Athletic Greens gives you a free 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Plus, supporting our sponsors supports the show which supports mental health access, so go to www.athleticgreens.com/therapistuncensored or click HERE.

Ann and Sue get into the nitty gritty by bringing you a short series of conversations on the uncomfortable truth about normal human defenses. Whether you’re receiving hard professional feedback or facing a challenging discussion in your relationship – nobody enjoys those cringy feelings of being told something you don’t know or agree with about yourself.  Often these moments trigger an automatic neurobiological protection response in the cells dedicated to protecting us from threat.  No human doesn’t have this problem at the most fundamental level – so this series will break it down for exploration. This is the first episode in a five-part series where Ann and Sue take a deep dive into various kinds of frequently used defenses. They discuss how to become more conscious of which state of mind you may be in – protective circuits or connection circuits and how to sort out what to do if in the armored range. The 3 R spiral of change is a process that can help you reconnect and reground yourself in moments of stress. Identifying the ways you display this discomfort is a great first step in creating that shift from our automatic default responses to a more connected state where we can be present within ourselves and our relationships. We all get defensive “Nobody’s died from a feeling. You’re going to have them – maybe you’ll feel embarrassed or ashamed, or unfairly done to.. but the feeling itself is only 90 seconds, after that it’s all story. Feelings are going to have a beginning and a middle and an end, so just ride them out and they will change, morph, eventually subside. You don’t have to ‘do’ anything. It’ll pass. You are gonna be okay.'” – Sue Marriott Time Stamps  2:52 – Three R spiral of change  – recognition, reflection, rewiring 9:46 – The last R: “Rewiring” 18:42 – The first stage of self-awareness, waking up and stopping our projections 26:54 – One of the key ingredients to self-awareness 28:53 – The difference between self-care and stubbornness 30:54 – Different types of self-awareness 36:00 – “Don’t do this” when receiving feedback 40:08 – Tips and recommendations for mindfulness CLICK HERE for Defense Series – Part 1 Transcript – Episode 183  – Lightly edited for readability We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales (very fun swag!) to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Neuronerd private community.  By joining as a Neuronerd premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content and first shot at very unique study opportunities. If we’ve provided value then please check us out, poke around, make sure you feel comfortable and then join us today!   Sponsors who help make these episodes free and available to all – check them out to support the show!  Zocdoc can help you find therapists and psychiatrists and doctors of all sorts and flavors that your family may need that are close to you, taking new patients, and even taking your insurance. Find the doctor that is right for you, and book an appointment, in person or remotely, that works for your schedule. Go to Zocdoc.com/TU and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. No more excuses not to take care of yourself – check it out and book now, many providers are available within 24 hours. Good sleep is related to so many good health and mental health outcomes, but we don’ tall have it easy when we try to fall asleep or stay asleep.  Nighttime rituals are important, try a cup of hot cocoa before bed that tastes good and is full of wellness ingredients that will help you sleep.  Beam includes 3rd party tested hemp free of THC, l-theanine, melatonin and natural adaptogens to help your immunity. Get up to 40% off when you go to shopbeam.com/TU and use code TU at checkout.  We hope you enjoy this content, if so please do leave us a rating wherever you get your podcasts so others may discover it as well.  Tk you for stopping by!

There is an entire world within each of us. While we come together to create one functioning human being – what is really happening internally to make it all work? Our entire existence is made of different systems – all collaborating to keep us operating healthily on a mental, emotional, and physical level. But what happens when the systems don’t operate smoothly? Just like any system, there can be conflicts that can make the process significantly more difficult. These “parts” are entities or “little beings” that live in our minds and manifest into physical or emotional reactions from traumatic events. Dr. Frank Anderson has spent decades of his life studying these parts and sharing his findings to help others utilize built-in resources like their “self-energy” to navigate their own traumas. Follow along as Sue Marriott and Dr. Anderson weave together psycho-pharmacology, trauma, neuroscience, attachment, and internal family systems. “Imagination is a very powerful neuroplastic agent. So the work that we do in IFS – which is very much imaginary – absolutely has neurophysiological effects on neural networks on the brain and on the body. It’s a beautiful intersection between psychotherapy and neuroscience, and we have more evidence to show the ways they’re linked together.” – Dr. Frank Anderson  Ep 182 – About Frank Anderson and IFS Dr. Frank Anderson is an author, psychiatrist, therapist, speaker and trauma specialist who’s spent the past three decades studying neuroscience and trauma treatment. He was a psychiatrist as the Trauma Center in Boston under the direction of Bessel van der Kolk, and was able to learn more about trauma while simultaneously continuing his quest of helping others heal. After meeting Dick Schwartz at a conference his career focus instantly came into full alignment, and he was able to integrate his knowledge of neuroscience and trauma treatment with Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Anderson was the former chair and executive director of the Foundation for Self Leadership, an organization focusing on IFS research and the expansion of the IFS model beyond psychotherapy and authored the chapter “Who’s Taking What? Connecting Neuroscience, Psychopharmacology, and Internal Family Systems for Trauma.” He is the lead trainer and consultant for the IFS Institute, an advisor to the International Association of Trauma Professionals (IATP), and maintains a private practice. He is passionate about teaching, enjoy providing therapy consultations and trauma informed IFS-related workshops throughout the world. Time Stamps for Ep 182 4:12 – Frank’s explanation of IFS 8:07 – Introduction to the concept of “self-energy” 17:27 – The neurobiology of PTSD & disassociation 30:31 – Frank’s unconventional views on attachment 41:46 – Key components of IFS that are essential for healing 46:25 – The IFS training process 51:57 – Finding an IFS certified therapist Resources for Ep 182 Frank Anderson’s Website IFS Group Consultation Course – Training Webinars on Various Topics – Training The Arc of Healing Trauma – Online Course “Internal Family Systems: Skills Training Manual” – Book Frank Anderson’s Most Recent Book Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes  https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu112-the-life-changing-science-of-memory-reconsolidation-with-guests-bruce-ecker-tori-olds/ CLICK HERE FOR FRANK ANDERSON TRANSCRIPT – Episode 182  – Lightly edited for readability We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, extra episodes, and very unique study opportunities.

With an ongoing pandemic, constant political feuds, and the day-to-day stressors of life – finding peace in times of chaos can feel overwhelming. Peritraumatic growth is about meaning-making and managing overwhelming stress as it occurs. People often turn to therapists and other figures for answers, but who really has the solution to these ever-evolving issues? Especially for those who have experienced childhood traumas, seeking help may not feel like a natural process. Co-host Sue Marriott and Arielle Schwartz, Ph.D. take a deep dive into peritraumatic growth and posttraumatic growth to help equip us with the tools to work through our traumas, build different types of resiliency, and live a more fulfilling life. Dr. Schwartz recounts her journey to specialization with complex traumas and how neurobiology has been influential in her professional and personal growth. She utilizes an integrative, mind-body approach to therapy including relational therapy, parts-work therapy, somatic psychology, EMDR Therapy, and therapeutic yoga for trauma. “Post-traumatic growth is our belief that we can work through hard stuff and come out with an increased sense of depth, understanding, wisdom, strength – or whatever that gem is on the other side. But it’s not necessarily the hard stuff that makes us grow –  it’s what we do with it – how we metabolize it, how we process it.” – Arielle Schwartz Peritraumatic Growth Ep 181 – About Arielle Schwartz Arielle Schwartz, PhD, CCTP-II, E-RYT, is a licensed clinical psychologist, certified complex trauma professional, and Kripalu yoga teacher with a private practice in Boulder, Colorado. As an internationally sought-out teacher and leading voice in the healing of PTSD and complex trauma, she is the author of six books, including The Complex PTSD Workbook, Therapeutic Yoga for Trauma, and The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook. She is dedicated to offering informational mental health and wellness updates through her writing, public speaking, social media presence, and blog. Her integrative, mind-body approach to therapy includes relational therapy, parts-work therapy, somatic psychology, EMDR Therapy, and therapeutic yoga for trauma. She believes that the journey of trauma recovery is an awakening of the spiritual heart. Time Stamps for the Peritraumatic Growth Ep 181 3:58 – Introduction of “vicarious resilience” 9:44 – Peritraumatic growth versus posttraumatic growth 13:06 – Surprising aspects of post-traumatic growth 16:53 – Difference between secure attachment and having resilience 20:22 – Crafting your personal list of resilience practices 20:50 – Various types of resilience 32:51 – The role of mindfulness in peritraumatic growth   Resources for Ep 181 Dr. Arielle Schwartz Website  Tons of excellent resources Dr. Arielle Schwartz – Facebook Page Youtube Channel – Great resources here check her page out Link to Dr. Schwartz Full Book List  – Excellent references PLEASE TRY TO BUY YOUR BOOKS FROM LOCAL BOOKSELLERS CLICK HERE for Dr. Arielle Schwartz Episode 181 Transcripts – Lightly edited for readability We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, extra episodes, and very unique study opportunities. Thanks for stopping by, we hope the podcast adds value to your day. 

How to build epistemic trust to shift internal working models and create more secure relationships.  Learn the science of trust and attachment. Deciding who to trust in today’s world is especially hard – fake news, political polarization and societal strife amplifies our already on guard nervous system. When our trust has been broken, whether early in childhood or in our adult relationships, learning who to trust can prove even more challenging. In today’s episode, Dr. Steve Finn and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the science behind epistemic trust and why many of us may have broken trust meters. They discuss how trust issues can create a mess in our relationship, whether we are the constant skeptic who resists taking in new information or we tend to trust blindly, without testing or holding healthy doubts. Together they provide deep and compassionate insights into these struggles and how they relate to internal working models. A fan favorite, Dr. Finn returns to bring his years of expertise to our listeners about ways to use science to build trust using curiosity and tools of mentalization, including our ability to handle healthy skepticism. “I think curiosity is infectious. When we bring our curiosity…really trying to get into someone else’s shoes, that creates an open door for epistemic trust” – Dr. Steve Finn The Science of Trust Ep 180 – About Dr. Steve Finn  Dr. Steve Finn is a founder of the Center for Therapeutic Assessment, a licensed clinical psychologist in practice in Austin, Senior Researcher and Director of Training at the European Center for Therapeutic Assessment at the Catholic University of Milan, Italy, and Director of Training at the Asian-Pacific Center in Tokyo, Japan. He has published 90+ articles and chapters on psychological assessment, psychotherapy, and other topics in clinical psychology. In 2011 Dr. Finn was awarded the Bruno Klopfer Award from the Society of Personality Assessment for distinguished lifetime contributions to the field of personality assessment. In August 2017 he received the award for Distinguished Scientific Contributions to Assessment Psychology from Section IX (Assessment) of the Society for Clinical Psychology (Division 12 of the American Psychological Association). In 2018 he was honored with the 2018 Carl Rogers Award for outstanding contributions to the theory and practice of humanistic psychology from the Society for Humanistic Psychology (Division 32 of the American Psychological Association). Time Stamps for the Science of Trust Ep 180 00:58 – Introduction to “Therapeutic Assessment” 07:25 – Importance of epistemic trust 08:45 – Two types of difficulties in epistemic trust 12:43 – How clients utilize control mastery theory 19:09 – One of the core values of TA – “curiosity” 25:14 – Spotting the difference between hypervigilant trust and hypovigilant trust 27:57 – Explanation of Fonagy’s three virtuous cycles 46:40 – Analyzing epistemic trust in our society Resources for the Science of Trust Ep 180 Therapeutic Assessment – Website The Role of Mentalizing and Epistemic Trust in Psychotherapeutic Relationships – Fonagy, P. Allison, E. (2014) Fonagy, P., Luyten, P., Allison, E. (2015). Epistemic petrification and the restoration of epistemic trust: A new conceptualization of borderline personality disorder and its psychosocial treatment. Journal of Personality Disorders, 29, 575-609. Gergely, G., Egyed, K., & Király, I. (2007). On natural pedagogy. In G. Csibra & G. Gergely (Eds.), Humans and culture: The origins of cultural knowledge and its transition mechanisms. Monographs of the Psychological Bulletin, 11, 107-125. Sperber, D., Clement, F., Heintz, C., Mascaro, O., Mercier, H., Origgi, G., & Wilson, D. (2010). Epistemic vigilance. Mind & Language, 25, 359–393. Fantini, F., Aschieri, F., David, R. M., Martin, H., & Finn, S. E. (2022). Therapeutic Assessment with adults: Using psychological testing to help clients change. New York: Routledge. Finn, S. E. (in press). From unresolved to earned secure attachment: The AAP as a powerful clinical tool in psychotherapy. To appear in George, C., Wargo Aikens, J., & Lehmann, M. (Eds), Clinical application of the Adult Attachment Projective Picture System. Routledge. (pre-print available from the author) Kamphuis, J. H, & Finn, S. E. (2019). Therapeutic Assessment in personality disorders: Toward the restoration of epistemic trust. Journal of Personality Assessment, 101(6), 662-674. Tharinger, D. J. Rudin, D. I., Frackowiak, M., & Finn, S. E. (2022). Therapeutic Assessment with children: Enhancing parental empathy through psychological assessment. Routledge. Dr. Steve Finn’s Book – 2007   Click here to view Steve Finn’s Episode Transcripts  – Lightly edited for readability Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu51-conquer-shame-by-understanding-the-science-behind-the-feeling-with-guest-expert-dr-steve-finn/ By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, extra episodes, and very unique study opportunities. We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today!  Thanks for stopping by, we hope the podcast adds value to your day. 

Terry Real, a master couples therapist and bestselling author, dives into the pitfalls of toxic individualism and its effects on relationships. He discusses the importance of shifting perspectives from self-protection to connection. The conversation highlights the impact of trauma on relationship dynamics, advocating for relational mindfulness and empathy. Real also addresses gender dynamics, emphasizing emotional intimacy and the need for assertive communication. With practical strategies and insights, he encourages cultivating deeper intimacy and understanding in partnerships.

We often focus on being understood through words, but guess what? Words emerge from several deeper processes and can confuse, disconnect, and even unintentionally fabricate what’s going on. Learn what works and what doesn’t when trying to build closeness and connection with those you love. Tune in for this week’s episode as co-host Sue Marriott and John Howard discuss the power of tuning in under the words, widening our awareness of emotional communication, mindfulness and spirituality in secure functioning relationships. When we are connected on a neurobiological level, it opens the door for the other “fancier stuff” such as parenting, sex, travel, intellectual interests, romance, and money management. “The experience of being in a relationship is an existential one. It’s a spiritual event in people’s lives.” About John Howard John Howard is an internationally recognized therapist, wellness expert, and educator who uses the latest science to help couples have stronger relationships. He is the host of The John Howard Show, a wellness podcast, and the creator of the Ready Set Love® series of online programs for couples. John is a Cuban American whose first language is Spanish and thus prioritizes diversity and inclusion, drawing on multicultural influences from years of traveling and studying indigenous traditions. He has presented on the neuroscience of couples therapy at leading conferences and developed a couples and family therapy curriculum for the Dell Medical School in Austin. In 2019, he developed Presence Therapy®, an integrative mind-body approach to couples therapy taught to psychotherapists worldwide. John is also the CEO of PRESENCE, a wellness center in Austin dedicated to helping you achieve optimal physical, mental, and relationship health.     Join our Therapist Uncensored online community as a TU Neuronerd and help support getting this content out to the world. For deeper dives into topics and extra episodes, join our online community for as little as $5 a month and get deep-dive content, ad-free feed, discounts on anything we produce, and unique study opportunities.     Episode Time Stamps 1:38 – Psychobiological Approach to Couple’s Therapy (PACT)  principles 5:59 – How to read the interaction as a whole 15:08 – How does this methodology apply to consensually non-monogamous relationships? 18:17 – Key aspects of John’s new book, “More Than Words” 21:22 – What your brain is really looking for in connections 31:28 – Explanation of “inviting care” into relationships Resources John Howard’s Website  Ready Set Love – Online Couple’s Course Ready Set Love – Podcast Austin In Connection – Non-Profit Presence Therapy Website The PACT Institute Website John Howard’s Book, February 2022 Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu12-if-its-not-good-for-you-its-not-good-for-us-interview-with-relationship-expert-stan-tatkin/ https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu121-the-purpose-of-relationships-redefined-during-quarantine-with-stan-tatkin/   Click Here to View Episode Transcripts