Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Learn powerful strategies for parenting even during the most difficult moments. Ann Kelley, Kat Scherer and Elizabeth Sylvester discuss ways of integrating attachment and neurobiology into disciplinary styles that work and build balance in our relationships.

Attachment 'insecurity" is partly a manifestation of unresolved stress patterns in the child and, by extension, the family. Therapists usually think of stress as interpersonal and dyadic, but you can't isolate individuals from context. We talk about context a lot when it comes to attachment - the circumstances or setting which helps to understand a process more deeply. As Sharon Lambert says in today's episode, you can't "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" if you have no boots. Sue Marriott and Sharon Lambert discuss the unconscious bootstraps communities have that cause blame towards those who are struggling. There is no doubt that poverty impacts physical and emotional health, and thus lifting children out of poverty is a direct intervention in their well-being. Today's session also explores fascinating research on how people use mental health podcasts - join us! www.therapistuncensored.com/join Shownotes here: www.therapistuncensored.com/191

You don't have to be totally healed from years of therapy under your belt or a history of secure attachment to develop skills for increased intimacy and secure relating. This is something that anybody, no matter their history, can begin to learn. Channeling your inner awareness to recognize a heightened state of arousal or using visualizations to help stay in a regulated place helps tap into your right brain to connect with yourself and your humanity. Ann and Sue navigate their personal examples, self-regulating tips, breaking out of their defensive "competitive head", and many more useful strategies to explore the ways we can move in the direction of secure connections.

Hair-pulling, skin picking, and cheek, lip, & cuticle biting are self-soothing strategies that depending on the degree can become body-focused repetitive behavioral disorders. Learn about a new attachment-informed psychodynamic model for treating these painful, shame-associated behaviors in our conversation today with Sue Marriott and Stacy Nakell.

Assumptions block our view of seeing the whole perspective and equip us with a bias that can make our relationships difficult to navigate. Not asking people personal questions or receiving feedback might be underlined unexamined bias. Whether your "moral compass" may get in the way, your assumptions form from cultural influence, or you even feel avoidant of those tougher conversations and just assume the other person is on the same page - this episode is for you. This is a follow up to the defense series as Ann and Sue help us continue to get real and question what we think we just know.

Whether it's projection, appearing to be a "know it all", power dynamics, ceding, or even being forgetful - we express our subconscious and conscious defenses in multiple ways. Follow along to connect with your own defenses and learn how to healthily disarm your patterns for emotional regulation.

Aggression is not a feeling, it can be positive or negative goal-directed life energy. Learn to use this energy to propel us forward in conversation with guest expert Jeanne Bunker and co-host, Sue Marriott. What is healthy aggression? It can be a resource to help us navigate our personal goals, increase intimacy within our relationships, and to act as a catalyst for change when paired with desire. Follow along as Jeanne Bunker and Sue Marriott break down the negative connotations and provide perspective to harness this resource and help reclaim healthy aggression. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/186. Join our Neuronerd community at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

When you unconsciously deem "power" as what keeps you "safe" in vulnerable situations, reflecting and rewiring on this dynamic can transform your connections. Human defenses are quite necessary to protect our nervous system and sense of self. The goal isn't to eliminate defenses - but to learn how to regulate them, especially in relationships. Defenses can often feel triggered when there is an uneven power dynamic expressed in a relationship and can be influenced by outside factors like gender socialization, culture, or personal history.

Learn more about autobiographical memory and the hippocampus in managing stress. By blending neuroscience and a 3 R Spiral of change strategy, we can begin to sort through our defenses, rewire how we navigate our world, and move towards healing our relationships. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/184. Join our Neuronerd private community for an ad-free feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

Ann and Sue get into the nitty gritty of exploring normal human defenses. Using the full body of work from translated relational neuroscience, modern attachment, and depth psychology they break down their professional and personal experience moving from armor back to more connected relationality. Show notes at www.therapistuncensored.com/183 and more episodes at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.