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Coaching for Leaders

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Jul 12, 2021 • 38min

535: The Art of Constructing Apologies, with Sandra Sucher

Sandra Sucher: The Power of Trust Sandra Sucher is an internationally recognized trust researcher and professor of management practice at Harvard Business School. She studies how organizations build trust and the vital role leaders play in the process. Before joining Harvard, she was a business executive for 20 years, served on corporate and nonprofit boards, and has been Chair of the Better Business Bureau. As an advisor to the Edelman Trust Barometer, her research has been featured in several national publications. She is the author with Shalene Gupta of the book, The Power of Trust: How Companies Build It, Lose It, Regain It*. In this conversation, Sandra and I explore the three elements of a good apology in the professional setting. We also look at additional elements the research suggests may be useful in many places in our lives. Finally, Sandra highlights some ways we can do better on empathy in order to avoid situations where we destroy trust. Key Points Combine three elements for a good apology, especially in a professional setting: Acknowledgment of responsibility: The offender makes a statement that demonstrates they understand their part in the trust betrayal. Explanation: The offender describes the reasons for the problem. Offer of repair: The offender offers a solution for rebuilding trust. In addition, consider three more elements for apologies in any scenario: Expression of regret: The offender expresses how sorry they are. Declaration of repentance: The offender promises not to make the same mistake again. Request for forgiveness: The offender explicitly asks for pardon. To interrupt the reality that leaders tend to struggle with empathy: Reflect in writing with as much detail as possible about the people and situation in question. Ask yourself, “Am I being fair?” Resources Mentioned The Power of Trust: How Companies Build It, Lose It, Regain It* by Sandra Sucher and Shalene Gupta The Power of Trust website Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes Use Power for Good and Not Evil, with Dacher Keltner (episode 254) The Choice for Compassion, with Edith Eger (episode 336) The Way Into Difficult Conversations, with Kwame Christian (episode 497) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
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Jul 5, 2021 • 40min

534: How to Deal With an Unsupportive Colleague, with Bonni Stachowiak

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*. Listener Questions Mark asked our advice on how to navigate a sensitive situation with an unsupportive colleague. Geraldine wondered about how to implement management accountability with public sector employees. Samuel asked about building personal capacity. James asked if we were aware of resources for a leadership body of knowledge. Resources Mentioned 7 Habits of Highly Effective People* by Stephen Covey Getting Things Done* by David Allen Center for Creative Leadership Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership How to Win Friends and Influence People* by Dale Carnegie The Leadership Challenge: How to Make Extraordinary Things Happen in Organizations* by James Kouzes and Barry Posner Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) Related Episodes Eight Ways To Use Power For Good (episode 154) How to Balance Care and Accountability When Leading Remotely, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 464) How to Say No Without Saying No, with Lois Frankel (episode 471) How to Create Your Personal Vision (free membership required) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
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Jun 28, 2021 • 40min

533: How to Build Confidence, with Katy Milkman

Katy Milkman: How to Change Katy Milkman is an award-winning behavioral scientist and professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. She hosts Charles Schwab’s popular behavioral economics podcast Choiceology, and is the co-founder and co-director of The Behavior Change for Good Initiative. Katy has worked with or advised dozens of organizations on how to spur positive change and her research is regularly featured in major media outlets such as The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and NPR. She is the author of the book, How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be*. In this conversation, Katy and I explore the research on confidence. We highlight some of the key tactics we can use to enhance our own feelings of confidence. Plus, we explore some of the ways that leaders may be able to support confidence-building in others. Key Points Self doubt affects our ability to take action. Our expectations shape reality. How we think about something affects how it is. Leaders can support those with less confidence by inviting them to be a mentor or coach for others. Set ambitious goals, but allow yourself a limited number of emergency passes when you slip up. Focus on personal experiences that make you feel successful or proud. Resources Mentioned How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be* by Katy Milkman Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes The Way to Make New Behaviors Stick, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 196) The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 458) How to Change Your Behavior, with BJ Fogg (episode 507) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
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Jun 21, 2021 • 40min

532: How to Help People Thrive, with Jim Harter

Jim Harter: Wellbeing at Work Jim Harter is Chief Scientist for Gallup’s workplace management and wellbeing practices. He has led more than 1,000 studies of workplace effectiveness and is the bestselling coauthor of It’s the Manager, 12: The Elements of Great Managing, and Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements. Jim has also published articles in many prominent business and academic journals and he's the author with Jim Clifton of Wellbeing at Work: How to Build Resilient and Thriving Teams*. In this conversation, Jim and I discuss Gallup’s recent research findings on what managers and organizations can do to support wellbeing at work. We highlight the five key elements of wellbeing from the research and the obstacles that managers and organizations face in supporting these. Plus, we share practical steps that each of us can take to support wellbeing among the people in our organizations. Key Points People report that their strongest links to net thriving are “my job” and “my manager.” The five key elements of wellbeing are, in this order: Career, Social, Financial, Physical, and Community. Many people report that “time with a manager” is the worst part of the day. To support better wellbeing, make it a part of regular career conversations. Have open conversations about pay philosophies. Data shows this is even more important than the actual salary. Giving meaningful feedback every week is a basic requirement of management. Gallup’s data shows that only half of employees worldwide know what is expected of that at work, a significant contributor to stress and anxiety. Resources Mentioned Wellbeing at Work: How to Build Resilient and Thriving Teams* by Jim Clifton and Jim Harter Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 237) How to Manage Abrasive Leaders, with Sharone Bar-David (episode 290) How Teams Use StrengthsFinder Results, with Lisa Cummings (episode 293) Three Steps to Great Career Conversations, with Russ Laraway (episode 370) Gallup Findings on the Changing Nature of Work, with Jim Harter (episode 409) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
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Jun 19, 2021 • 37min

531: Make Your Vision a Reality, with Manu Mazzanti

Manu Mazzanti Manu Mazzanti is an energy giver who brings focus and resilience to bold and daring transformative journeys. As a regional talent development leader for a global consulting firm, Manu is committed to enabling talent potential through coaching, facilitation, and leadership development. He is out there to make an impact as a father, conscious leader, and marathon runner. Manu is also an alum of the Coaching for Leaders Academy. Key Points Ken Coleman’s analogy of climbing the mountain (and realizing you might be on the wrong one) was helpful to identify what was next. Keith Ferrazzi says that leadership starts with us. In addition, we all have the opportunity to do a lot of leading without authority. James Clear’s work was helpful to make habit changes easily instead of trying to make major changes, at all at once. The Academy helped provide a framework for the 2-3 year vision and take daily actions to bring it into reality. Resources Mentioned Manu Mazzanti on LinkedIn Coaching for Leaders Academy Shine: Ignite Your Inner Game to Lead Consciously at Work and in the World* by Carley Hauck Create a World That Works: Tools for Personal and Global Transformation* by Alan Seale and Cheryl Dorsey Related Episodes How to Find Your Calling, with Ken Coleman (episode 352) How to Become the Person You Want to Be, with James Clear (episode 376) Leadership Means You Go First, with Keith Ferrazzi (episode 488) The Way to Make Sense to Others, with Tom Henschel (episode 518) Making the Case for Your Promotion, with May Busch (episode 526) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
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Jun 14, 2021 • 39min

530: How to Prepare for Conflict, with Amy Gallo

Amy Gallo, an expert in conflict and communication dynamics, shares her insights on preparing for difficult conversations. She stresses the importance of approaching conflict with a constructive mindset and planning messages around shared goals. Gallo emphasizes the need for honesty with oneself and considering the other person's perspective. She also discusses the unique challenges women face in conflict situations, advocating for dignity and empathy in negotiations. This talk equips listeners with essential strategies for improving workplace interactions.
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Jun 7, 2021 • 38min

529: The Way Out of Major Conflict, with Amanda Ripley

Amanda Ripley: High Conflict Amanda Ripley is an investigative journalist and a New York Times bestselling author. She’s spent her career trying to make sense of complicated human mysteries, from what happens to our brains in a disaster to how some countries manage to educate virtually all their kids to think for themselves. Her first book, The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why*, was published in 15 countries and turned into a PBS documentary. Her next book, The Smartest Kids in the World—and How They Got That Way*, was a New York Times bestseller. Her most recent book is High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out*. In this conversation, Amanda and I discuss the distinction between good, healthy conflict — and high conflict that becomes unproductive for almost everybody. We discuss how humiliation is often such a strong catalyst for high conflict. Finally, we explore many of the practical steps to take in order to avoid the worst conflicts and do better for ourselves and our organizations. Key Points Good conflict often brings surprises, but high conflict is surprisingly predictable. Humiliation is one of the most powerful fire starters in triggering high conflict. Limit humiliation by avoiding attacks on someone’s identity, especially in a public forum. Distancing yourself from “conflict entrepreneurs” can help provide the space to emerge from high conflict. Resist binaries and us vs. them language. When people get sorted into two groups, that can lay a foundation for high conflict. Slowing down conflict can often provide the opportunity to emerge with productive dialogue. Resources Mentioned High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out* by Amanda Ripley Related Episodes How to Listen When Someone Is Venting, with Mark Goulston (episode 91) How to Deal with Opponents and Adversaries, with Peter Block (episode 328) How to Find Confidence in Conflict, with Kwame Christian (episode 380) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
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May 31, 2021 • 37min

528: Where You May Be Provoking Anxiety, with Erica Dhawan

Erica Dhawan: Digital Body Language Erica Dhawan is a globally recognized leadership expert and keynote speaker helping organizations and leaders innovate faster and further, together. Named as one of the top management professionals around the world by Global Gurus, she is the founder and CEO of Cotential, a company that has helped leaders and teams leverage twenty-first-century collaboration skills. Erica’s writing has appeared in dozens of publications, including Fast Company and Harvard Business Review. She is the co-author of Get Big Things Done* and the author of the new book, Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance*. In this conversation, Erica and I highlight common missteps that cause leaders to generate unnecessary anxiety from their communication. We discuss how brevity, response time, passive aggressiveness, and formality can work against us — and what we can adjust on our own behaviors to do better. Key Points In a way, all of us are now immigrants, processing more interactions in a digital world that is less familiar. Excessive brevity may save a few keystrokes or seconds in the moment, but can generate lots of extra work for the team and organization. Reduce anxiety by being explicit about our expectations on response time and teaching others what to expect from us. Changing tone and formality without explanation can be jarring. Seemingly unimportant choices like who we list first on emails can generate assumptions from those we’re communicating to. Resources Mentioned Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance* by Erica Dhawan The Digital Body Language Expert Course Related Episodes How to Balance Care and Accountability When Leading Remotely, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 464) How to Run an Online Meeting, with Bonni Stachowiak (episode 472) How to Be Present, with Dave Crenshaw (episode 511) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
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May 24, 2021 • 36min

527: The Ways to Pay it Forward, with Glenn Parker

Glenn Parker: Positive Influence Glenn Parker is a team building and organizational consultant to many of the world's leading corporations, including Novartis, Merck, Lucent, and Accenture. He is the author of 15 books, including the bestsellers, Team Players and Teamwork: New Strategies for Developing Successful Collaboration* and Cross-Functional Teams: Working with Allies, Enemies, and Other Strangers*. Glenn's assessment survey, the Parker Team Player Survey, published by CPP, has sold more than one million copies. He is the author with his son Michael Parker of the book, Positive Influence: The Leader Who Helps People Become Their Best Self*. In this episode, Glenn and I discuss the importance of leaders recognizing the contributions of other leaders in our careers — and the ways we can become positive influences for others. We detail the four different ways to be a supportive leader and the first steps that each of us can take to do this more consistently. Key Points Four different ways to be a leader who has a positive influence on others: The Supportive Positive Influence Leader: the one who believes in you The Teacher Positive Influence Leader: the one who helps you develop the skills you need The Motivating Positive Influence Leader: the one who shows you why you need to do something and helps you believe that you can do it The Role Model Positive Influence Leader: the one who demonstrates through their actions how you can be successful Resources Mentioned Positive Influence: The Leader Who Helps People Become Their Best Self* by Glenn Parker and Michael Parker Related Episodes Help People Learn Through Powerful Teaching, with Pooja Agarwal (episode 421) Your Leadership Motive, with Patrick Lencioni (episode 505) How to Be Present, with Dave Crenshaw (episode 511) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
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May 17, 2021 • 35min

526: Making the Case for Your Promotion, with May Busch

May Busch: How to Get Promoted May Busch is the former Chief Operating Officer of Morgan Stanley Europe. She was promoted 10 times during her 24-year career at Morgan Stanley. Today, she's an executive coach and mentor, helping professionals overcome (often hidden) obstacles, advance to the next level in their careers, and reach their full potential. May is the author of Accelerate: 9 Capabilities to Achieve Success at Any Career Stage and the creator of the How to Get Promoted Course*. In this conversation, May and I discuss the key principles that professionals should consider when advocating for their next promotion. We explore a few of the mistakes that some people rely on — and how to do better through your track record, business case, and future thinking. Plus, May shares several tactics that will help you get visibility on what senior leaders are thinking. Key Points Being a culture carrier is a wonderful place to be in an organization, but it’s not enough for promotion. Threatening to leave can work in some cases, but it’s not laying the groundwork for long-term trust. Your track record should include your accomplishments, experiences, strengths, and skills. Others who are close to you can often help you be more objective on what these are. Ultimately a promotion is a business decision. Help more senior leaders make the business case for why you are the right decision. Perceived risks about you might be fair or not. Regardless, responding in a matter-of-fact manner to concerns is more likely to help you alleviate them. Resources Mentioned Discover What It Really Takes to Get a Promotion*, a free training series by May Busch Accelerate: 9 Capabilities to Achieve Success at Any Career Stage by May Busch Related Episodes Move From Caretaker to Rainmaker, with May Busch (episode 390) How to Work With an Executive Recruiter, with Becky deSouza (episode 406) Craft a Career to Fit Your Strengths, with Scott Anthony Barlow (episode 424) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

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