Finding the Throughline with Kate Hanley

That might seem like a mixed message, coming from a podcast called How to Be a Better Person. Just to be clear, I don’t want you to be a different person. Just to help you be that version of yourself that you know is in there, and that can get overlooked when we’re busy, or stressed, or distracted. It’s not fixing we’re after here. It’s remembering. And growing. And neither of those things are possible when you're focusing on the flaws you want to make go away. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Despite the fact that women have been socialized to be nice above all else, it's not actually a very noble goal, as my co-host this week, Terri Trespicio, breaks down today. Does that mean you should go out and let your a-hole flag fly? Or become outright mean? Goodness, no. It just means you set your sights on something different--something that takes a lot less energy than being nice AND that gives you more energy, because it's gratifying. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s surprising strategy for a better new year is to Un-plan Your Life. Which, depending on how much of a planner you are, may sound like just a completely ludicrous idea. BUT, as this week's co-host, Terri Trespicio, will talk us through--plans change all the time. Multiple times. And sometimes, even when your plans work out, you've put so much stock in them that you can feel lost now that they're no longer on the horizon. So what do you do instead? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can be generous in some ways, and stingy in others. And it’s really fascinating to start to unpack where you are a natural giver, and where you might be more likely to freeze up and think, oh heck no.Maybe those are areas that you can think about differently and find your way to feeling more generous, but maybe those are just things that don’t suit you for some reason, and you can focus on other ways to be more giving without feeling bad that you’re secretly a Scrooge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

While giving is often energizing, there are definitely times when it’s draining. Or even upsetting. It can leave you feeling taken advantage of, or unappreciated. And that doesn’t feel good. In addition, sometimes *your* giving can make the person you’re trying to give to feel bad--micromanaged, or like you think they aren’t capable. So today, let’s figure out how to keep giving in the realm of feeling good. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you think of what being a better person means, I’m guessing that being generous is one of the first things that pops to mind. BUT, that’s not to say that we have to be 100% selfless, or always put others first, or give until it hurts. So, how do we find that balance? Let’s start by looking at the benefits of being generous–not for the other person, but for you. In today’s episode, I’m sharing some cool research findings on the physical, mental, and emotional benefits of giving. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I get that there is a lot of work that goes into holiday celebrations and it is so natural and tempting to kind of groan your way through them or talk about how you hate them. You may not feel 100% at peace with all the stuff you’ve got to do all the time, but even just remembering that you could choose to accept that this is just part of it can help you get to a place where you’re not hating every minute. ** This episode sponsored by (thank you for supporting our sponsors!)**:Air Doctor – Use promo code BETTER to save up to $300 on this UltraHEPA air purifier Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I want to talk specifically about how to navigate family gatherings. And to help with that, I’m interviewing Amy E. Smith, a life coach and communications specialist who specializes in all things self-worth and confidence. Amy has been on the show before sharing how to enforce a boundary without being a jerk. Her e-workbook is called "Stand Up for Yourself without Being a Dick," so I think you can see right there that she’s given this topic some serious thought--let’s find out what she’s got to share. I asked Amy: What is it about holiday gatherings with family that can make it such a stress fest?  What can we do well before the event is even here that will help things get off on a better foot?  Once you’re there, how do you get out of those fraught conversations with grace?  How do we maintain boundaries in a situation where we’re in a room with the people on this earth who know how to push our buttons the most? How can we actually enjoy ourselves at these gatherings, instead of merely endure them?  ** This episode sponsored by (thank you for supporting our sponsors!)**:Air Doctor – Use promo code BETTER to save up to $300 on this UltraHEPA air purifier Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve got a tool for you that will help you figure out what parts of the holiday you want to prioritize and which you might dial back on. It’s a priority-making matrix that I learned as a tool to help you figure out how to maximize your impact and reduce your stress at work, but it’s really cool to use it on your life stuff too. To make your own priority-making matrix, you need a piece of paper and a pen or pencil.** This episode sponsored by (thank you for supporting our sponsors!)**:Air Doctor – Use promo code BETTER to save up to $300 on this UltraHEPA air purifier Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices