FRIED. The Burnout Podcast

Need to get started on your burnout recovery? Download the Core Values Worksheet today!https://bit.ly/corevaluesfreebie“When I’m stressed, I trip more, I bang into things more, I stub my toe more—so there’s definitely something going on here,” Cait shares, highlighting the curious link between burnout and clumsiness. In this latest "Fried Guide" episode, Sarah Vosen joins Cait to delve deeper into why burnout can make us more accident-prone and even lead to injuries. They discuss how stress can cause physical reactions like tensed neck muscles and narrowed peripheral vision, making us clumsier.According to Chinese medicine, unprocessed emotions can accumulate in the liver, decaying and poisoning our system. This toxic buildup, combined with neglecting our basic needs like rest and proper nutrition, leads to a depletion so severe that our bodies can't even benefit from healthy inputs. Sarah explains how ignoring our spiritual needs contributes to this misalignment, exacerbating our stress and physical discoordination.So, what’s the solution? Identifying a personal outlet—whether it’s exercise, journaling, or engaging in meaningful conversations—and approaching these activities with mindfulness and intention. Cait and Sarah share how they navigate their own emotional landscapes and manage their stress cycles, offering insights into finding balance in our complicated lives.Quotes“When you’re in the flow of life, and you’re aligned and in balance with yourself, you’re in this flow with everything around you, and therefore, there’s no clumsiness. You’re on it; you’re in your center. Your energy is very intentional. Your thoughts are clear and everything goes smoothly, as you wish.” (3:45 | Sarah Vosen) “Chronic stress mode, when we’re not processing our emotions or processing life, it gets stored in our tissues and our physical body gets solid, hard, tense, and then everything’s not flexible. We’re meant to be flexible, we’re meant to be like a tree that bends in the wind, but when all that stuff builds up and you’re just hanging on tight and you’re tense, not only are you not seeing with your eyes but your body can’t, really it’s just not flowing.” (8:07 | Sarah Vosen) “The same way that we have overactive emotions when we’re burnt out, we know we’re responding ridiculously but we can’t help ourselves, this is the same when we injure ourselves and have a pain response. It’s above and beyond and not appropriate to the thing that happened.” (9:59 | Caitlin Donovan)“When you’re burnt out your body is under-resourced. So, it doesn’t have the tools or the resources that it needs to deal with the injuries that aren’t life-threatening, which is why it usually takes someone getting really sick, or really hurt, or really ending up in the hospital to start responding.” (32:19 | Caitlin Donovan)LinksConnect with Cait:Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcaitInitial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahvPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Certified counselor Jahmaal Marshall discusses childhood trauma's link to burnout, the impact of people-pleasing behaviors, and setting boundaries. Exploring giving without expectations and expressing gratitude, he shares personal insights on breaking free from codependency and prioritizing self-care for burnout recovery.

“I don’t want to convince you that whenever we finish working, you should be dancing, pirouetting on clouds in ballet slippers,” host Caitlin Donovan explains on this solo episode of FRIED, where she talks about managing expectations from burnout recovery work, particularly the program FRIED offers lead by her partner Sarah Vosen. In a space that, largely for marketing purposes, will promise that you’ll come out the other side of recovery feeling nothing but joy forever after, Cait offers some refreshing transparency about what she offers, why she specifically only offers short-term help, and the seemingly simple outcomes that will completely change your quality of life. Health, peace, productivity, improved communication–these are all huge things made all the more sweet for having recovered from burnout. Yet, recovery doesn’t mean a life free from problems. Cait explains her reasoning behind only offering short-term coaching and why Sarah stopped offering coaching packages. There is no one, perfect way to be coached or to find your way out of burnout. The best first step is to get clear about your goals and the results you yourself want to achieve. Quotes“I can’t promise you that we’re going to go from burned out to blissed out. I can’t promise you that you’re going to go from burned out to fired up. I can’t promise you that you’re going to go from burned out to completely joyful and fulfilled. I don’t even think that’s what we’re aiming for.” (2:10 | Caitlin Donovan)“This initial three-month kick is just to get you out of the muck.” (3:58 | Caitlin Donovan)“Getting clarity around those goals and what those results should be for you is more important than my telling you you’re going to have fulfillment and be joyful and have bliss.” (6:47 | Caitlin Donovan)“We’re not painting this magical picture of where you’re going to be. I want to share that with you because I want you to know how we’re thinking about it behind the scenes, how we’re thinking about you behind the scenes, and how we want to show up for you as honestly as we can—I mean, this is pretty honest—in a space that often feels a little disingenuous.” (8:06 | Caitlin Donovan) “Coaching, therapy, healing—it’s not magical. It’s messy. It definitely leads to a better life—there’s no way I would want the life I had back then compared to the life I have now. But am I skating through life without problems? No. Do I never feel resentment? Jesus—hell, no. I’m still human. You’re still going to be human after going through this process.” (8:56 | Caitlin Donovan) LinksConnect with Cait:Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcaitInitial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahvPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Dr. Kristen Donnelly and Dr. Erin Hinson delve into the origins of burnout culture in the US, influenced by early religious beliefs and modern-day capitalism. They discuss the dangers of equating hard work with morality, the impact on female-identified individuals, and the importance of challenging societal norms. The podcast highlights the need for individual and cultural changes to combat burnout, emphasizing self-awareness and embracing joy as a tool for recovery.

Discover why your burnout recovery may be stuck and how to unstuck it by embracing patience and self-care. Learn about the importance of making small changes in your environment, avoiding toxic relationships, healing attachment styles, and overcoming self-shame. Explore strategies to navigate challenges, prioritize rest, and seek support for a successful recovery journey.

“I’m in recovery from recovery,” explains Colleen Kachmann, Certified Master Life and Recovery Coach who joins the podcast to share her story of dealing with alcohol and burnout, and give new insight into the current understanding of and attitude toward addiction. For years, while playing the role of perfect mother, wife, career woman and volunteer, Colleen was also a self-described heavy day drinker. After joining Alcoholics Anonymous she found herself “indoctrinated” into believing that she was powerless over alcohol. An incident at a family dinner led to the realization that actually, we are all in control of ourselves and our lives. Through self-directed neuroplasticity and nervous system regulation, we can change the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. She has since founded “Recover with Colleen” where she teaches women who are “lost in the weeds” with alcohol to pursue mental health, happiness and a connection with their power and purpose rather than sobriety. On today’s episode of FRIED, she’ll describe what she calls “emotional sobriety.” She’ll explain how to develop a growth mindset, break out of victim mentality and learn to stop leading with “I can’t.” She’ll reveal what we’re really afraid of when we start to think of the worst-case scenario in the face of making change and what happens when we deal with “what is” instead of “what if.” It’s not about the alcohol, Colleen explains. Join today’s discussion to take the first step toward standing in your power. Quotes“I raised my children, I taught hot yoga, I taught aerobics, I was a health coach, I was all the things—I volunteered, I worked, I was a good ex-wife and a good new wife and all the things to all the people. So, you can see burnout coming there because I was very perfectionistic about my life. And I had this idea that I was getting away with my drinking.” (4:36 | Colleen Kachmann) “I became a perfect sober person. I was still playing the alcohol game. My life revolved around the topic of alcohol, but I had to switch teams. Now I’m team sober.” (7:09 | Colleen Kachmann)“I believe that when we realize that everything we do is actually a choice, now we can choose from a place of power.” (16:57 | Colleen Kachmann) “We don’t have to make our kids [lives] better. I think the truth underneath that story is we’ve lost ourselves in our kids, it’s been easier to just do the things for everybody else because we can hold our breath longer, and, ‘Oh, look, here’s a bottle of wine. So, I’ll just exchange my needs for some drink tickets, and shut the hell up. I can do that, just give me another drink.’” (28:08 | Colleen Kachmann)“We think we’re scared of having to live in an apartment after we get the divorce from the big house, or that we can’t do things. But actually you’re afraid of the story you’re going to tell yourself, that you’re starting over, that you failed, that you just lost your whole life or everything was meaningless behind you and you’ve wasted your time. It’s those stories that we’re afraid of.” (31:08 | Colleen Kachmann) LinksConnect with Colleen Kachmann:https://recoverwithcolleen.com/ https://www.instagram.com/recoverwithcolleen/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/colleenkachmann/ https://recoverwithcolleen.com/accelerated-recovery-masterclass/6Connect with Cait:Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcaitInitial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahvPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Why is it that two people can be in the same exact environment, at the same job, and one person burns out and another person doesn’t?” And not only does that other person not burn out, they thrive?” Well, as it turns out, just like everyone needs a certain amount of sun protection factor (SPF) to protect them from the harmful effects of the sun, so does everyone have their own BPF—burnout protection factor. On today’s solo episode of FRIED, Cait explains how we can build up our own BPFs within the six burnout factors— Work, Self, Health, Family, Overall Culture and Environment. For example, a BPF in the category of work would be feeling like you are well-sourced and well-supported. She’ll share why being in nature, having a regular sleep schedule, and fixing those little things around the house that you put off all do wonders for building up your protection factors. She’ll also explain the importance of sincere communication between family members and why what we think are our protection factors are very often our risk factors. By building your protection factor against burnout, you will find you have more to offer the world. By lifting yourself up, you also lift up those around you, and, ultimately, your community. Quotes“Why is it that two people can be in the same exact environment, at the same job, and one person burns out and another person doesn’t? And not only does that other person not burn out, they thrive.” (2:09 | Caitlin Donovan) “For some reason, those of us who need more burnout protection factors, seem to think we don’t need any protection from anything ever at all and we can do everything ourselves and if we’re just perfect then we’ll be fine. We think that perfectionism and people-pleasing are our burnout protection factors, but in fact, they are burnout risk factors. They create more vulnerability for us.” (6:02 | Caitlin Donovan) “There is zero judgment involved in this. It’s the same as SPF: some people need 4, some people need 50. It’s just your build. It’s fine.” (7:49 | Caitlin Donovan)“During those times when you are sacrificing for something or putting up with something that you are not willing to change, you need to up your BPFs to balance it out.” (17:55 | Caitlin Donovan)Linkshttps://www.friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/julie-menanno-secure-love-attachment-needs-burnout-and-your-relationships-with-everythinghttps://www.friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/straightfromcait-burnout-risk-factors-a-holistic-viewhttps://www.friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/straightfromcait-start-your-burnout-recovery-by-taking-the-good-plateConnect with Cait:Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcaitInitial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahvPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Executive and career transition coach John Neral discusses how to address resume gaps after burnout in job interviews. He emphasizes evaluating company fit, negotiating compensation, and looking ahead. John shares his experience with rejection sensitivity and rude HR comments, highlighting the importance of aligning values with potential employers.

On a recent trip to Thailand, Sarah experienced jet lag that was comparable only to the exhaustion she experienced while deep in the midst of burnout. She highlights that while jet lag might need just a few days of rest to overcome, recovering from burnout—a state of deep energy depletion—requires more time and patience. Sarah offers practical advice that could potentially reduce the recovery time from burnout by up to 80%, emphasizing the importance of setting realistic expectations and how this approach also helps in alleviating fear and uncertainty.Throughout the episode, Sarah explores the principles of Chinese medicine, focusing on the most energizing foods and their preparation to maximize energy recovery. She delves into the Chinese concept of having two internal "batteries" and their locations, ways to enhance the quality of your blood and chi (vital energy), and explains why the heart is considered the central element of one's being. Additionally, Sarah talks about the significance of self-reflection on energy use, the benefits of maintaining a resentment journal, and the crucial step of releasing guilt associated with reaching a state of burnout. She encourages listeners to embrace self-compassion and recognize the potential for improvement, marking the beginning of a journey towards better energy management and self-care. Quotes“Unfortunately, burnout exhaustion is not the kind of exhaustion that a few nights of good sleep or a vacation will make better.” (2:18 | Sarah Vosen)“The Chinese call the heart “the emperor” because they see it as the organ in charge, not the brain.” (7:54 | Sarah Vosen)“Stop for a second and recognize all the times you’ve spent more energy than you woke up with, thanks to caffeine or sheer willpower to keep pushing and going and doing. And then realize that every time you did that and went to bed beyond exhausted, that you actually dug that hole of depletion deeper. Ugh, I know.” (10:53 | Sarah Vosen) “Once I got into the habit of pushing the things that weren’t priority from my schedule, I started to see how those things weren’t priority at all. A lot of them weren’t even necessary for me to do, and a lot of them I never did again.” (11:56 | Sarah Vosen) “Stop and give yourself a hug and acknowledge how much this sucks. And please, borrow my trust that it’s temporary and tell yourself that you will get better, slowly but surely.” (14:41 | Sarah Vosen) LinksThe Resentment Journal: https://www.caitdonovan.com/resentment-journalSleep episode with Cait and Sarah: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sfc-s-burnout-and-sleep-a-chinese-medicine-perspective/id1469939920?i=1000641567682Scheduling acupuncture with Sarah near Minneapolis, MN: https://acusimple.com/access/7008/#/appointments/8888/list/42506/2024-03-14/Connect with Cait:Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcaitInitial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahvPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Insecure attachment—period—whatever category you’re in, is 100 percent nurture. One hundred percent. It’s a relationally driven disorder.” Dr. Julie Menanno, author of “The Secure Relationship,” joins the FRIED podcast to talk about relationships and attachment theory. For many of us, our parents or caretakers, failed to meet our needs. To control the resulting anxiety, we form insecure attachment, the variety of which Dr. Julie further explains here. These childhood attachment styles then take a toll on our current relationships as we continue to struggle to get our needs met—or even to understand our needs in the first place—engage in non-nourishing coping strategies, and give of ourselves in a way that leaves us depleted rather than replenished. To be understood is one of our most deep-seated needs. Some of us think we are practicing empathy when actually we have just learned to be hyper-vigilant of others emotions, in order to form our reaction ahead of time. When we make decisions for ourselves and others based on our assumptions of how they feel, we further dysregulate the relationship. Dr. Julie explains a two-fold process for breaking this cycle.On this episode of FRIED, Dr. Julie will share how to create space for pause and why resentment and anger are useful while blame is not.Quotes“The first bit of grace I want you to give yourself today is, if you are a parent or a caregiver and you can be present and secure and balanced 50 percent of the time, you are killing it.” (8:17 | Caitlin Donovan)“It leaves [you] not knowing how to help yourself, never learning how to help yourself in those places. And [when] we don’t know how to help ourselves, we’re going to go into all sorts of ways, junk food ways, to help ourselves that really don’t help us get [our needs met]. Like I said, junk food meaning, yeah, you’re getting the food, but you’re not getting the nourishment. You’re overfed, undernourished.” (11:00 | Julie Menanno) “Everybody’s going around trying to feel safe, trying to not feel alone, trying to not feel rejected, and that’s the vehicle to feeling accepted is understanding, and validation and acceptance. I’m breaking them apart, but they’re all the same glob. It’s de-shaming.” (22:26 | Julie Menanno) “Empathy comes from a regulated place. A balance of head and heart. Empathy does not come from dysregulation and it does not come from emotional cutoff.” (25:29 | Julie Menanno) “No matter what, this work is about a gift to yourself. It’s about you being your best self for you. And it’s hard because we associate self-work and all these ways of showing up as our best self in the relationship with giving to another in this exhausting way.” (39:24 | Julie Menanno)LinksConnect with Julie Menanno:Website: https://thesecurerelationship.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/thesecurerelationshipConnect with Cait:Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcaitInitial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahvPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm