FRIED. The Burnout Podcast

#straightfromcait: How to End Rumination, People Pleasing, and Perfectionism

Nov 12, 2023

This podcast discusses strategies for overcoming rumination, people pleasing, and perfectionism. It suggests interrupting ruminating thoughts, practicing disappointing people, and embracing imperfection. It also explores accepting gratitude and avoiding unnecessary apologies as ways to overcome perfectionism and people-pleasing tendencies.

11:18

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Quick takeaways

Adopt Eckhart Tolle's rumination trick and use Grock cards to interrupt rumination and engage a different part of the brain.

Practice disappointing others in small ways to challenge people-pleasing tendencies and learn to release perfectionism in certain areas.

Deep dives

Interrupting Rumination with Curiosity and Mindfulness

One approach to interrupting rumination is to adopt Eckhart Tolle's rumination trick. By noticing and stopping the rumination, taking deep breaths, and asking yourself the magic question, 'I wonder what I'll think of next?', you can shift your thought pattern. Another suggestion is using Grock cards, which involve guessing your own feelings and needs to engage a different part of your brain and calm the inner critical voice. Additionally, focusing on body sensations through activities like observing your environment or touching objects can help build mindfulness and shift thoughts away from ruminating.

Introduction

2min

Strategies for Ending Rumination and People Pleasing

3min

Overcoming People-Pleasing and Perfectionism through Disappointment and Embracing Perfectionism

4min

Accepting Gratitude, Avoiding Unnecessary Apologies, and Shifting Away from Perfectionism

3min

A wonderful day to everyone! I’m Cait Donovan, your burnout recovery coach, helping you in your healing journey. Today, I will address the question of one user in the Facebook group about taking small, daily, simple actions to overcome rumination, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. I also highlight the ideas of other members to handle these problems effectively.

Episode Highlights:

To deal with rumination, there are two actions you can do. Firstly, when you notice you’re ruminating, stop it immediately. Then close your eyes, inhale and exhale, and question yourself; I wonder what I'll think of next. The second action is called Go Grok Cards, wherein you play by guessing your feelings and needs. These two suggestions focus on being mindful and curious as the key to overcoming rumination.

For people pleasing, practice disappointing people in any small way. When you start to disappoint people, you will find that the things you're doing don't even disappoint anyone. One example is that when someone in your household can’t find something, don’t help them and just say they can do it without your help. You may feel fear practicing this, but it will help you to see that it is okay not to do what people want from you.

Lastly, Cait suggests that to overcome perfectionism, people must choose one or two places in their lives where they use perfectionism on purpose because it’s useful and not in the places where it is useless. Another action you can take is just to be grateful when receiving compliments and stop unnecessarily saying sorry.

Every person is different, and so there are numerous actions you can do to quit ruminating, slow down people's pleasing, and control perfectionism. Find what suits you the best, and share your process to help others in the community. Let everyone be successful in this burnout recovery journey!

Connect with Cait:

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com

https://caitdonovan.com

Book a free 1:1 call: bit.ly/callcait

Book a free 1:1 call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv

Get info on FRIED's group program for burnout recovery: https://caitdonovan.com/unfried