

The Calm Confidence Podcast (Formerly the "Therapy on Tap Podcast")
Charles Perry
Social anxiety sucks. I am a former social anxiety sufferer who has worked as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for 10+ years. I combine my personal and professional experience to give you practical tools to help you face your fears and become a more confident and authentic you.
Email questions/topics to: info@calm-confidence-coaching.com
Newsletter and Services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
Disclaimer: This is NOT Therapy and is not a replacement for therapy. Listening to this podcast does not constitute a client/therapist relationship.
Email questions/topics to: info@calm-confidence-coaching.com
Newsletter and Services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
Disclaimer: This is NOT Therapy and is not a replacement for therapy. Listening to this podcast does not constitute a client/therapist relationship.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Sep 23, 2025 • 4min
How To Deal With Desperation
This is the audio from a short video I made on YouTube. Social anxiety can also impact our relationships. It can make us worry about where we stand with someone, if they are mad at us, if they like us, etc... These worries can sometimes lead to destructive behaviors (seeking validation and reassurance) that ultimately do more harm than good. In this episode I explore what can be done about your desperation so you can feel more confident in your relationships.Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

Sep 19, 2025 • 18min
Don't Wait
Social Anxiety makes us passive, but the more passive we are the less control we feel over our own lives. We hold onto narratives decades old because we have no new information to change them. If we want to change how we think and feel about ourselves, we have to change how we act first. Give yourself a chance to learn something new about yourself. Maybe you are not the unlikeable loser you have always thought. Maybe if you put yourself out there enough times, you can find people who like all the weird things about you. Time to get out of our heads and take action. #socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #lonely #loneliness Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceYoutube episode: https://youtu.be/KZdJjPdUWQ0

Sep 17, 2025 • 16min
THIS is NOT Helping Your Social Anxiety
Alcohol, unfortunately, can be very good at calming our nerves. I say unfortunately because this can create a very dangerous cycle. If we rely on alcohol to get through our social situations, we increase our likehood of having alcohol problems. We are also not addressing the fear of socializing at it's core. When we drink we are finding a loophole around the fear, which doesn't allow us to overcome the fear in the longrun. #socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #sociallyawkward Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. (2023, May 9). Alcohol and other substance use to cope with social anxiety. Spectrum. https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/news-events/spectrum/volume-15-issue-2-spring-2023/alcohol-and-other-substance-use-cope-with-social-anxietyProtective Strategies Study Team, Villarosa-Hurlocker, M. C., Bravo, A. J., Pearson, M. R., Prince, M. A., Madson, M. B., Henson, J. M., Looby, A., Gonzalez, V. M., Henslee, A. M., Cuttler, C., Wong, M. M., & McChargue, D. E. (2019). The relationship between social anxiety and alcohol and marijuana use outcomes among concurrent users: A motivational model of substance use. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 43(4), 732-740. https://doi.org/10.1111/acer.13966Book, S. W., & Randall, C. L. (2002). Social anxiety disorder and alcohol use. Alcohol Research & Health, 26(2), 130-135.Hart, G., Panayi, M. C., Harris, J. A., & Westbrook, R. F. (2014). Benzodiazepine treatment can impair or spare extinction, depending on when it is given. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 56, 22–29. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.02.004Skelly, M. J., Chappell, A. J., Carter, E., Weiner, J. L., & Gujar, N. (2015). Adolescent social isolation increases anxiety-like behavior and ethanol consumption in adult C57BL/6J mice. Pharmacology, Biochemistry & Behavior, 133, 7-15. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pbb.2015.04.004Bisby, J. A., King, J. A., Sulpizio, V., Degeilh, F., Curran, H. V., & Burgess, N. (2015). Extinction learning is slower, weaker and less context specific after alcohol. Neurobiology of Learning and Memory, 125, 55–62. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.nlm.2015.07.014Rosen, C. S., Greenbaum, M. A., Schnurr, P. P., Holmes, T. H., Brennan, P. L., & Friedman, M. J. (2013). Do benzodiazepines reduce the effectiveness of exposure therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder? The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 74(12), 1241-1247. https://doi.org/10.4088/JCP.13m08592

Sep 13, 2025 • 20min
The Practical Way to End Self-Consciousness
Self-consciousness prevents us from living and acting freely in the world. When we are in a social situation and we become self conscious it becomes nearly impossible to engage in conversations because we feel we need to constantly watch and edit ourselves. In this episode I explore why we are self conscious and what mindset shifts and practical skills we can adopt to step outside of ourselves and rid ourselves of fear and social anxiety. Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Fistikci, N., Saatcioglu, Ö., Keyvan, A., Kalkan, M., & Topçuoğlu, V. (2015). Attentional bias and training in social anxiety disorder. Noro Psikiyatr Arsivi, 52(1), 4–7. https://doi.org/10.5152/npa.2015.8777 Arad, G., Azriel, O., Pine, D. S., Lazarov, A., Sol, O., Weiser, M., Garber, E., Bloch, M., & Bar-Haim, Y. (2023). Attention bias modification treatment versus a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor or waiting list control for social anxiety disorder: A randomized clinical trial. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 180(5), 357–366. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.20220533Amir, N., Foa, E. B., & Coles, M. E. (2009). Attention training in individuals with generalized social phobia: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 118(1), 159–170. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0013643

Sep 11, 2025 • 22min
Why Your Social Anxiety Isn't Getting Better
PODCAST NAME CHANGE! THIS WAS FORMERLY THE "THERAPY ON TAP PODCAST."Sometimes it feels like no matter how many times we put ourselves in social situations, nothing gets better. We are still filled with the same dread and anxiety, despite people and mental health professionals telling you "you have to challenge yourself" if you want to overcome fear and build confidence. In this episode I explore why exposure therapy doesn't always work, and what you can to actually make the progress you are looking for.Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Edgar, E. V., Richards, A., Castagna, P. J., Bloch, M. H., & Crowley, M. J. (2024). Post-event rumination and social anxiety: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 187, 87–97. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2024.03.013Watkins, E. R., & Roberts, H. (2020). Reflecting on rumination: Consequences, causes, mechanisms and treatment of rumination. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 127, 103573. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2020.103573Donohue, H. E., Modini, M., Abbott, M. J., Rapee, R. M., & others. (2024). Psychological interventions for pre-event and post-event rumination in social anxiety: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 102, Article 102823. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2023.102823Price, M., & Dalgleish, T. (2010). The impact of cognitive behavioural therapy on post-event rumination in social phobia. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(8), 673–678. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2010.04.003Maeda, S., Yoshida, K., Amano, K., Tamagawa, A., Hayashino, Y., & others. (2022). The effect of distraction versus post-event processing on cortisol recovery in individuals with elevated social anxiety. Biological Psychology, 182, Article 108918. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsycho.2022.108918Gray, E., Beierl, E. T., & Clark, D. M. (2019). Sub-types of safety behaviours and their effects on social anxiety disorder. PLOS ONE, 14(10), e0223165Evans, R., Chiu, K., Clark, D. M., Waite, P., & Leigh, E. (2021). Safety behaviours in social anxiety: An examination across adolescence. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 144, Article 103931

Sep 8, 2025 • 13min
Playing it Safe is Dangerous
When we feel anxious in social situations, we play it safe. We don't tell the funny joke, we sit in the corner of the room, we don't share our interests. This can temporarily make us feel more safe and at ease, but actually exacerbates the anxiety in the long run. In this episode I explore why playing it safe is a dangerous game, how it traps us from truly accepting ourselves and allowing others to accept us, and how it makes things worse in the long run. #socialanxiety #shyness #shyguy #socialskills #confidence #confidencebuilding Sources:Gray, E., Beierl, E. T., & Clark, D. M. (2019). Sub-types of safety behaviours and their effects on social anxiety disorder. PLOS ONE, 14(10), e0223165Evans, R., Chiu, K., Clark, D. M., Waite, P., & Leigh, E. (2021). Safety behaviours in social anxiety: An examination across adolescence. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 144, Article 103931Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

Jul 14, 2025 • 15min
Your Brain Froze During a Conversation, Now What?
Every socially anxious person's nightmare... You're in a conversation, things seem to be going ok, when suddenly... your brain freezes. Now your heart and your thoughts are racing, trying to come up with something to say. What do you do now? In this video I dive deep into this commonly asked questioned by social anxiety sufferers, and the answer may not be at all what you expected. #socialanxiety #shyness #shyguy #socialskills #confidence #confidencebuilding Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

Apr 11, 2025 • 10min
The Paradox of Self Confidence
Self confidence can be quite the Paradox. If you don't already have confidence, no amount of achievement will give it to you. This is because our low self esteem doesn't allow us to appreciate our successes. In this video, I explore a more reliable way to attain and build confidence; learning to trust ourselves to overcome rather than measuring ourselves based on our perceived achievements. #confidence #selfconfidence #selfsteem #perfectionism #perfectionist Interested in working with me:For NY/NJ: https://charlesperrytherapy.com/For Non-NJ/NJ: https://www.calm-confidence-coaching.com/Podcast:Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4EdDP9fkklpSaLZhMxPwVE?si=hk7Fd58VTZK0pyocVxv34gApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapy-on-tap/id1758550585Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/calmconfidencecoaching/?igsh=MXQyYnppMHJ2cGV5OQ%3D%3DTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@calmconfidencecoach?_t=ZP-8vQMixBga6Q&_r=1

Apr 10, 2025 • 6min
What They Don't Tell You About WEED!
Marijuana has become more accepted both culturally and legally, and on the whole this has been a good thing. However, I think we are being dishonest if we don't acknowledge the very real dangers of marijuana. Marijuana has been proven to increase the likelihood of psychosis and schizophrenia. It is also not as effective as advertised in treating anxiety and depression. I'm not saying you need to stop smoking, you just have to be careful. #mentalhealthawareness #psychosis #schizophrenia #anxiety #depression #marijuanalegalization

Apr 8, 2025 • 12min
It's Not Always Depression
Depression isn't always an internal problem. Sometimes we are depressed because our life is simply not going well. Some of these reasons are out of our control, others are in our control but we're having difficulty making the appropriate changes. In this episode I explore how modern therapy and psychiatry has become lazy by labeling everything a "disorder." It's not a disorder if we are seeing things objectively, but just not happy about it. #depression #depressed #depressionawareness #mensmentalhealth #mentalhealth Socials:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence


