Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Hey friends! Can’t believe that it is nearly halfway through June!-      Book launch – IG Giveaway-      JCA Teens program-      NASAP and TP-      Looking ahead at the summer-      Planning for next fallo  More JCA Teenso  Possible JCA Tweens/Preteenso  Live workshops/classesToday I want to get back to basics.I am a Positive Discipline Trainer. My recent time in Tucson at NASAP and co-facilitating the TP has brought me back to the building blocks of positive discipline…. I am also finding myself on exploratory calls with new clients who are eager to do one on one work and looking for resources to share what the philosophy of PD is all about, with the Joyful Courage spin, or course.So, I decided I would do a show about it. I am excited to share, and if you are someone who feels like you know all about PD, I invite you to listen from a place of curiosity and wonder – to catch yourself when you think “I know all of this” and shift into “what is here for me to learn?” Because that is one of my favorite things about this work – there are so many layers. Right when I think “oh yeah, NOW I get it” life throws me something new, or my kids step into a new place of development, or I just simply find myself back in my old ways of thinking (because it is so darn familiar) and I realize, yet again, that there is more to learn….Excited? Me too.A lot of people hear the words, Positive Discipline and assume that it is all about being nice while we dole out consequences to our kids. Or they get really stuck on the word “positive “ and think it is all about being permissive and letting our kids run the show. Some people mistakenly believe that PD parents don’t ever want their kids to feel bad, and perhaps lump PD with helicoptering, coddling or enabling our kids. This is totally NOT what PD is all about. To start, one thing I really appreciate about Positive Discipline is that it is a program that has it’s roots in Adlerian Psychology. Alfred Adler was one of the first social psychologists. He worked with individuals and families and found, time and time again, that human behavior was motivated by a sense of belonging and significance. He found that we are always moving towards, or moving from, our sense of connection and knowing that we matter. And when behavior starts to look like mischief, it can be linked back to the individuals perception of belonging and significance. Jane Nelsen, the author and co-author of the library of Positive Discipline books, talks about belonging and significance as our longing for love and responsibility. -      Kind and firm-      Belonging and significance-      Mutual respect/dignity for all-      Encouragement-      Social interest-      Take time for training-      The courage to be imperfect/mistakes as opportunities to learn-      We always have a choice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Lahana Vigliano. Lahana is a certified clinical nutritionist and CEO of Thrival Nutrition. She has her Bachelor's degree in Nutrition Science and currently is pursuing her Master's degree in Nutrition Science. Lahana and her team help support women who struggle with weight loss, hormone imbalances, digestive issues, chronic fatigue, and many other lingering issues that leaves women not feeling their best. She uses food as medicine as well as herbs and supplements when needed to support her clients. She looks at the whole body holistically, making sure women are understanding how nutrition, sleep, stress, and their environment impact their health. She creates tons of free resources on her blog, www.thrivalnutrition.com. We’re going to be discussing nutrition and stress. Join us! “In the question of “Am I doing enough?” We often are actually doing too much..”“Everybody's going to be okay if their schedule isn't completely jam-packed.”“We miss self-care opportunities just because we aren't in the mindset of recognizing that we're having a self-care opportunity”“Change isn't going to happen just because you want it to happen, but it will happen when we step into action.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What is cortisol and what does it do? How cortisol impacts brain growth in kids Most common stressors among parents How sleep interacts with cortisol Cortisol, appetite, and cravings Self-care and reframing what that looks like How much sleep we should be getting to maintain optimal health Finding time for sleep and self-care The stories we tell ourselves about food Making food prep easier Creating barriers around foods that don’t serve us Easy protein sources Ways to make vegetables more accessible Self-limiting beliefs around the scarcity of time and resources Learning to give yourself grace The power of doing something you love Prioritizing self-care to be able to care for others  What does Joyful Courage mean to you?So I think just, as my life as a mom, a business owner, a wife, I think it just means to really live life to the fullest, you know, having no fear and just being filled with joy with everything that you do, no matter what season, no matter what time in your life because it's meant to be because it's building me up to be the person God created me to be. So I'm just kind of going through life with that mantra. Resources: Under Pressure by Lisa DamourRecipes on Lahana’s website Where to find Lahana:www.thrivalnutrition.comFacebookInstagram Thrival Nutrition Podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everybody!!!! So happy to be back with you for another solo show – SO MUCH HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!! When I work with clients, I always start the hour with a grounding meditation, because I think we should ALL be dropping into the present moment more often, and then I ask, “What are you celebrating?” I love this question because it reminds my clients that there is always something to celebrate, something to look at as a gift. I know that sometimes if feels like a stretch, but when we challenge ourselves to find some gratitude, it shifts the energy, and opens up more possibilities. I am going to start this show with my own celebrations: First, I am celebrating all of the LOVE that the community has showered me with throughout this book launch – you people are AMAZING – thank you for the reviews you have written, the SM shout outs, the sweet comments you are sending my way. I do this work for all of us and I am so honored when you let me know that it makes a difference in your life! Another celebration is that I am getting the opportunity to practice NOT TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY with my kids lately. Like, a lot. Wrapping up the school year, the upcoming move, and a few other life experiences have upped the level of stress at our house, and the kids are navigating it the best they can. I experience them being irritated, withdrawn, annoyed, not wanting to talk to me, like, AT ALL….. Often this type of behavior is very easy to translate into, “why are you TREATING ME LIKE THIS??” or, “It hurts y feelings when you shut me out” which is actually what I said out loud….  And guess what? They are doing the best they can with the tools they have. They are navigating their life right now and the behavior is simply an INDICATOR that they are in it. It’s not about me. It’s not about me. It’s not about me…. Back to the celebration, I am in the fire of this! I am in the fire of this and THIS is my opportunity to walk my talk. THIS is when it matters that I CHOOSE to tell the story of “it’s not about me” – the goal is to NOT be in a co-dependent relationship with our children, right? So here it is. That chance to separate myself from my child’s experience/behavior and generate the emotions that I WANT to be feeling, regardless of what is happening for her. Fiercely committed, yes, lovingly detached, always a work in progress. Ok, are you ready for me to get on with it??? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Mother's Quest founder, Julie Neale. Julie honors both the meaning and the mess of life and parenthood and believes our children and youth challenge us to grow into our best selves. She is on a mission to live a truly epic life and through her example inspire her children to do the same her for purpose. Her for-purpose venture Mother's Quest provides inspiration, coaching, and community so that mothers and those who work with young people can connect to support and resources, fulfill their unique purpose and live their epic lives. After a 20 year career as a leader in youth-serving nonprofit organizations, Julie turned her focus to coaching training at the Coaches Training Institute and facilitating a process known as Reflection for youth development professionals. Through this and her parenting experience, she realized that mothers and those who mother need an opportunity to reflect on their own growth, dreams, and plans, and created Mother's Quest to champion them with common care . She masterfully taps into her own curiosity and intuition to help her clients slow down from the business of life and work, reflect on what matters, clarify a future vision and move into action. In the fall of 2017, she founded the Women Podcasters in Solidarity initiative to raise awareness and dollars for social justice issues through the power of podcasting. The first season focused on anti-racism and police accountability. We're going to talk more about that initiative on today's show. When she's not wrestling with her kindergartner or driving her team to basketball practice, you can find her squeezing in 10 minutes of yoga and meditation, believing something is better than nothing and staying up way too late to watch a double hitter of Handmaid's Tale and Super Soul Sunday. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode: The importance of the modeling of continuing to grow and evolve as a human when that's the expectation we have of young people The value of holding a growth mindset around conversations about race Resources to learn about having conversations about race with our kids What is the Women Podcasters In Solidarity Initiative Giving our boys permission to cry and have emotion The power of conversation to create change Lessons learned from social justice activism How ego gets in the way of relationships Moving from transactional relationships to authentic connection  Resources:Slay Like a Mother bookThe Mask of Motherhood Ted TalkNicole Lee episode on Mother’s Quest podcast So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oiuowomenpodcastersinsolidarity.com Ep 37: Generations Rising for Gun Safety with Gloria PanEp 07: Living Out Loud with Jenjii HystenEp 48: Lessons Learned Since Episode 24: Intersectionality and the Age of the New Heroine with Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlinMoms RisingEp 54: Superheroes, Fighting Patriarchy, and Courageously Defeating Gun Violence with Ladd EverittOne Pulse for America Masterminds and Wingmen - Rosalind WisemanEp 55: From Grief to Advocacy and a Circle of Mothers with Trayvon Martin’s Mother Sybrina FultonThe Trayvon Martin FoundationCircle of Mothers retreatLucy McBath’s StoryMothers Against Police Brutality EP33: Beyond the Trauma: Legacy, Compassion and Change with Mothers Against Police Brutality Co-Founder Sara Mokuria EP27: On Living an E.P.I.C. Life with Julie NealeEp 49: A Conversation About Courage with Sage Hobbs and Julie Neale Where to find Julie:Mothersquest.comMother's Quest PodcastMother's Quest Facebook group Mother's Quest business pageMother’s Quest InstagramJulie@mothersquest.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heyyyyyy you! So much excitement – we got out house, kids are on board, book is getting attention, work is good…. Having the experience of seeing all that is abundant in my life has got me to thinking about how I have in the past seen abundance in the lives of others and thought “that will never be me” “I can’t do that” blah blah blah – and I’ve realized that in changing the story, I have changed what has unfolded in my life….. Its amazing. Our story keeps us where we are Listening to a lot of law of attraction – familiar? IF not, let me read what it is from the lawofattraction.com - Simply put, the Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. It is believed that regardless of age, nationality or religious belief, we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the Universe, including the Law of Attraction. It is the Law of Attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. In basic terms, all thoughts turn into things eventually. If you focus on negative doom and gloom you will remain under that cloud. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve you will find a way to achieve them with massive action. We live our stories, we tell the stories we live, we live the story, we tell the story…. Sometimes that can keep us stuck. It isn’t the “stuck” that is bad, it is whether or not we WANT to be stuck where we are that we get to be aware of…. For example – When the life you are experiencing feels really hard and you see your kids as out of control…. And you talk about it with your partner and maybe your friends, and then you experience more of it, and you share with your mom or your therapist, and then there it is again, the hard, the heavy, someone asks you how you are, you give a big sigh and you respond with “I’m ok, things are hard” and the cycle continues to spin over and over and over. Where is there space for something new? Where is there room to BELIEVE that there is another possibility?? That is where you are. You are resigned. Done and done. A contrasting picture is one where things are going really well…. Kids are thriving, relationship is good, business is booming, there are so many possibilities opening up for you, and you talk about it with your partner and maybe your friends, and then you experience more of it, and you share with your mom or your therapist, and then there it is again, the trust, the excitement, someone asks you how you are, you give a big smile and you respond with “I’m amazing, things are so good” and the cycle continues to spin over and over and over. This space feels expansive, it feels like there is an expectancy of more goodness, you believe in possibility, you are open and hopeful.  We get to stay in our lane. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Anna Seewald. Anna is a Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author and Host of The Authentic Parenting Podcast. With background in psychology and education, having worked with children for 18 years, today she helps conscious moms and dads to become calm and connected to themselves and their children through trauma-informed education. She believes in helping children by helping parents. She has a private practice that specializes in parent education, where she provides one-on-one parent coaching, parenting, court ordered, and co-parenting classes. www.authenticparenting.comWhat you’ll hear in this episode: What is emotional regulation? Gaining perspective on what it means when our child is emotionally dysregulated Why toddlers struggle with emotional regulation How emotional dysregulation of kids triggers parents How stress contributes to emotional dysregulation in parents How emotional regulation supports conflict resolution, jobs, relationships, academics What is co-regulation? How parents can stay regulated The Four-Step Calm Formula Coaching your child’s emotional regulation The role of compassion in emotional regulation Assessing the level of urgency in an emotionally dysregulated situation Language and emotional dysregulation Mindfulness and emotional dysregulation Validating our children’s feelings in a way that matches the intensity of their distress The impact of dysregulation on the verbal centers of the brain Dealing with emotional dysregulation under time constraints Post-dysregulation problem solving and how to nurture it What to do when your child won’t talk about their feelings The power of relationship in bringing emotional regulation Tips for listeners who are looking to get better at helping their children grow their self-regulation skills or themselves   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is solo show – woohoo!! I’ve been missing you all. I am so excited to have been interviewed by some amazing gals out there in the Podcast world. Anna Seewald of the Authentic Parenting Podcast – www.authenticparenting.com/podcast had me on and we talked about building trust – both in ourselves and our kids. Loved every minute of it and can’t WAIT to meet Anna in person at her conference in May, the Authentic Parenting Conference – www.authenticparenting.com/conference. Today I want to talk about a mantra that I have found useful time and time again. I learned it from a friend and mentor of mine – shout out to Denise Yost! – we saw each other for the first time in a while and when I asked her how she was, she responded with “fiercely committed, and lovingly detached” Fiercely committed, lovingly detached. What it means to be fiercely committed? Creating the environment Meeting their needs Advocating for them Being kind and firm Encouraging them  What does it mean to be lovingly detached? Allowing them to be who they are Allowing for them to build resiliency through navigating natural consequences Allowing them to be uncomfortable Trusting that they are on THEIR journey Letting go Giving them responsibility over their lives  What gets in the way? Our dreams/vision for them Our past/failures/mistakes Our assumptions Our addiction to what other people think Our insecurity about “doing it wrong” Our emotional regulation (or lack of) Our lens of the “right/wrong” way  What will help us move towards “fiercely committed, lovingly detached”? Two list exercise. Challenges Everyone probably has a really similar list – YAY! Gifts Doubt that you have any particular job description… What about “happy”? Can we hope for content? Can we hope for healthy coping skills and resiliency? Can we hope for grounded and empowered? Remember the challenges are at the tip of the iceberg – and anything we “do” with the challenges should somehow, someway, teach/model/or allow our kids to PRACTICE the life skills we want them to embody.  A bit about DO. So often parents want to know WHAT DO I DO?? In the moment tools This is a narrow mindset PD is a broader lens than in the moment. TRSUT in developing relationship TRUST that kids do better when they feel batter TRUST that all humans what to be connected and know that they matter and have influence In the moment? Keep everyone SAFE Acknowledge your child’s experience Look for solutions and/or ways of making things right  They are doing the best they can with the tools they have in the moment. Just because they can tell you what they will do better next time during a calm moment does NOT mean they will access that when they are flipped Not about being naughty/bad – its about relationship, tools and practice   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Simone Davis. Simone is the author of the new book, The Montessori Toddler. Simone is an AMI Association Montessori International Montessori Educator. She lives in Amsterdam where she runs parent-child Montessori classes at Jacaranda Tree Montessori. Simone is the author of a popular blog, The Montessori Notebook. She is also mother to two young adults. We will be discussing toddlers. Join us!"In Montessori it's an alternative education system where we're actually following each unique child on their own unique individual development.”“We start to think that toddlers are giving us a hard time when actually it's them having a hard time.”“We help them as much as necessary and as little as possible.”“Montessori is somewhere in between, we call it freedom within limits.”“It's really just how to communicate in an effective, respectful way.”“it's really about trusting your child that they're on their own unique timeline and that they're different to everybody else.”“I think of us as planting that seed as well and nurturing it so that we really recognize that each child's individual, how can I support and help them become the best version of themselves?” What you’ll hear in this episode: What the Montessori philosophy is all about The role of multi-age modeling in a Montessori environment The importance of taking time for training Preparing the environment and what that looks like How Montessori builds community and independence Teaching kids to care for things and each other: values-based learning How breaking down steps reduces assumptions and frustration The benefits of the Montessori approach Applying Montessori principles to your home What gets in the way of parents for seeing the gifts of the toddler years Practicing neutral observation without assumption like a scientist How the quest for Independence is similar in the teen and toddler years Setting kind and clear limits The value of a rich language environment with the space to try new things Getting comfortable with repeating yourself The role of making amends and modeling doing so yourself The most important thing for parents of young children to know in order to shift into the Montessori mindset Resources:Dan Siegel hand model of the brain video “The Montessori Toddler” book Where to find Simone:WebsiteFacebookInstagram YoutubePinterest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...:::: Winging it in the closet! Thank you for the review, Lauren! Listening to my clients and group participants…. Amazing the expansive way we can see/here for the other person.  The idea that kids get into mischief, make mistakes, AND well meaning, loving parents get stuck into thinking “they are manipulating me/trying to get what they want/playng me” Foundation of Adlerian theory – behavior being movement in the direction of belonging and significance As young children – always perceiving/interpreting/beliefs/action (private logic) Do I belong? Do I matter? Do I have influence? Am I safe? We are asking and answering those questions through our own lens, which has been developed over time, through experience and relationships we have lived through Kids are cut and dry, their private logic is experienced as “truth” Perception of emotional safety matters “I’m curious… I notice you don’t want to talk about problems after the fact…. Can you tell me about that?” Goal is to help them observe themselves Having a conversation about the conversation Curiosity has no agenda, it’s not a “method” Curiosity is non-judgmental and open THIS TAKES PRACTICE PEOPLE! Call it out when the space feels judge-y and own what we have brought in the past Asking VS Telling Experiential activity Play with this!! Remember there are layers!!  ::::: Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!! The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already. Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!! :::: Authentic Parenting ConferenceAnna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!! I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire. If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!! Come play with me!! :::::Be a SubscriberMake sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Meagan Wilson. Meagan is the founder of Whole Family Rhythms and living out her mission of helping other mothers, caregivers, and educators to create more clarity and balance within the home. Meagan’s website and seasonal Guides provide support, information, and resources on conscious parenting inspired by the earth, the seasons, and each family’s own unique values. Together, a community of over 25 thousand like-minded Mothers and educators gather each day on her Instagram feed to discuss parenting with love, connection and rhythm. "Connecting with your family values is this parenting partner exercise.”“Visual cues, no matter what, they are always very helpful.” What you’ll hear in this episode: What living with the rhythms of the earth and the seasons means What it means to align your life with your values How to document your family values in a meaningful way Discussing your values as co-parents with extended family and caregivers Routine vs rhythm, in-breath vs out-breath times and what it all means Using visuals to create daily habits What it means to be a loving authority Being the author of the boundaries that you're holding Natural consequences - what they are Connecting to something higher than yourself - not necessarily religion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices