Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

HEYYYY!! This isn't a full episode - just a quick announcement letting listeners know that the show is going to take a month off and come back strong September 17th - woop woop. Listen in and find out how to stay connected. Big love, Casey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a SOLO SHOW! First, how about a community celebration for the 200TH EPISODE of the Joyful Courage Podcast!!! WOOP WOOP!! It is so exciting to reach this milestone with you all... Along with the fact that the podcast has been downloaded over 550,000 times!! I am so deeply grateful and honored that I get to show up for you each week and that what I create is useful to you.... In honor of the 200th show, I actually have a BRAND NEW SOLO SHOW to share this week. I got some pretty powerful feedback from my teen daughter about my parenting style and the messages she is getting through how I show up and talk to her. Granted, we are navigating some new territory, and have recently been in some tricky discussions. And at the end of the day, I don't always know what the right thing to do is... You out there with teens may know what I mean, the conversation may sound like this: Teenager: "But, whycan'tI ___?" Parent (racking brain for the perfect , logical answer):  "I'm not sure, mostly ___ just feels like itshouldbe a hard no...." And then you are left feeling like maybe you are holding on to old beliefs, or perhaps it is what other people will think that is getting in the way, or maybe you are having one of those "can you just nottellme and get a littlesneaky" moments (yes, these thoughts exist for me too). While we all want open, honest relationships with our kids - the open honesty brings with it a BUNCH of challenges that catch you off guard. And honestly, I don't always know the right answer, it's not always neat and tidy over here, AND, it turns out, sometimes my daughter feels like a a giving permission, when really, I am just unsure of what to say do. You guys. It is so messy. And this is what I am sharing on the podcast this week. I hope you love it. :::::Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit ENCORE OFFERThe Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit first went live in January of 2019. I gave participants each interview in its entirety, for a week of learning. It was a LOT of content for busy overwhelmed parents, so I built a curated navigation system, to help guide and support and I am sharing with you.I have organized some of the many powerful messages from the interviews and complied them around the themes that are important to get us started.Those themes include: Hot topics like screens, sex, body image, risky behavior Deepening our understanding of this time of life, for both your teen and you, as a parent Strategies for maintaining and nurturing your relationship Settling in when it gets messy Doing our work to get out of their way The Encore Offer is my gift - free to you. I think this wisdom is so important, I wanted to share with as many parents as possible. And I encourage you to share with others! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I am replaying a conversation that I had one year ago, almost to THE DAY, with one of my DREAM GUESTs, Dr. Dan Siegel. I am so glad that when I record, there is only audio going on, because I was grinning like a fool while talking to Dr. Siegel. Anyone who knows his work, KNOWS, he is the real deal. Super brilliant. Super dedicated to supporting parents in a way that MATTERS.His books, which he co-authored with another Joyful Courage fave guest, Dr. Tina Bryson, include the whole brain child, no drama discipline, and the yes brain. He also wrote, Brainstorm, the power and purpose of the teen brain – a guide for every parent and teen to understand more fully the special, unique brain development that happens during adolescents.Dr. Seigel came on last summer to discuss his book, Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence. I love LOVED this discussion, and I think you will too!!Takeaways from the show How being present impacts the speed of the aging process Wellbeing and how it is enhanced by being present Relationships with your kids and how being present improves it Cultivating awareness Role modeling resilience How awareness feeds connection vs control Impacts of a lack of structure on the brain and future of children Authoritative parenting vs Authoritarian parenting Why we need the village and how that creates stress for contemporary parents Finding joy, tranquility and connection through expanding awareness Flipping our lid, learning from our body’s signals and how awareness can help Monitoring and modifying for self-regulation and to improve responses to stress The 3 O’s what they mean Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome back to Joyful Courage – a conscious parenting podcast, where we get real and raw about the parenting journey. You have tuned in to another SUMMER SERIES EPISODE!! This week I am super excited to bring back my conversation from TWO YEARS AGO, Episode 98, with Kerry Foreman. I am THRILLED to be sharing this conversation with you. Kerry is someone that I follow on Instagram and am continuously inspired by how she shows up in the world.Kerry has an online program for teens that is based in mindfulness. It is a 4 week research based course will allow your teen to develop beginning mindfulness skills and cultivate a mindfulness practice that will reduce stress and improve their mental health. Your teen will become empowered to take control of their well being, become more aware of thoughts and behaviors leading to higher accountability, increase their self esteem, and find an inner happiness not attached to anything external.Kerry Foreman is a Registered Psychotherapist, with her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She is passionate about Mindfulness and has been practicing and teaching for 4 years. Kerry lives in Monument, Colorado with her patient husband, a teenager, a tween and two rescue dogs, Norman and Fern. Through using Mindfulness to increase her self awareness, she realized that during her childhood she had learned and practiced faulty coping skills. She targeted them one by one, and slowly changed the cycles of her family, learned new behaviors, and worked to create new, positive habits for life. She did this in order to have a successful marriage and to be the kind of Mom she wanted to be. She is passionate about her ability to create change. Change your thinking and it changes your life.What you’ll hear in this episode: Recognition of FOO (Family of Origin) patterns and the call to make changes Psychological/verbal/emotional abuse trains us react rather than respond Noticing patterns such as shame, guilt and anger – where do they originate? Becoming a parent can bring these to the surface. How do we recognize where we need to change? Learning to respond instead if react Understand and reflect on our own parents’ experience Creating change and becoming aware of our own inner state of being Mindfulness practice influences the shift into better relationships How do we become grounded in order to stay balanced and present in mind no matter what is happening around us? Where control plays a role in mindfulness and the contrast in anxiety What do we chose to believe – what is the story we play in our minds? Self talk of being a victim – recognizing the language Expectations of others and how to stay mindful and in control while at the same time releasing what we are not in control of. What does Joyful Courage mean to me?“Joyful Courage is finding the joy in being brave enough to parent differently. Finding a new path in order to allow our kids to be who they were meant to be.”Where to find Kerry:YouTube l Facebook l Twitter l BLOG Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome back to Joyful Courage – a conscious parenting podcast, where we get real and raw about the parenting journey. You have tuned in to another SUMMER SERIES EPISODE!! This week I am bringing back my conversation with Kim Muench. Kim has been on the show a couple of times, but this episode we dig into how the parenting teens experience can really feel like a tight rope walk. Consider the content of LAST WEEK’s show, I thought it would be helpful to share this conversation. Kim is a JAI Institute for Parenting certified parenting coach who works with moms of preteens and teenagers. She is the mother of 5 kids ages 13-31. She writes about conscious parenting, provides one on one coaching and workshops to help support moms towards intentional parenting. We are discussing detaching from the outcome. Join us!What you’ll hear in this episode:- When children arrive at adolescence - The balance of boundaries and relationship building with our teens - Choosing your battles - Defining your family values - Setting an example for your kids - Defining non-negotiables - Ways to offer choices to your teenager - Detaching from the outcome - Prioritizing personal care and personal development - The illusion of control - Individuation and what that can look like - Supporting our kids in making better choices with alcohol - Being okay with kids failing or things taking longer - Trusting vs hovering - learning to detach - Taking a long view to your relationship with your kidsWhat does Joyful Courage mean to you?Joyful Courage means to me enthusiastically embracing and supporting the journey of our sons and daughters that have come into the world to live out their journey. Supporting and encouraging them with enthusiasm. And I love the two words together, I think it’s fantastic.Resources: Episode 82: Tweens and Smart PhonesWhere to find:Website | Facebook | Twitter | Facebook Group Real Life Parenting Community Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I am bringing back my conversation with Liz Blackwell-Moore from episode 128. Liz and I go deep into the conversation of substance use and abuse and how to be in relationship with our kids while also navigating the very real decisions they may or may not decide to make. I know, this topic is tough. We all want our kid to be safe and healthy…. And we all feel the fear around the very real risks some of them take. This conversation is powerful and left me feeling more grounded about this super intense part of the parenting teens journey. Check it out.I am so excited to have Liz on today to talk about an incredibly relevant topic – kids and drugs. GAH. I know. No one really WANTS to talk about this, but we have to.Liz has been working in the field of substance use since 2000. Her current work involves working with community coalitions and organizations to provide training on prevention strategies as well as technical assistance to translate public health research into practice and implement a restorative trauma-informed approach to addressing public health problems.So basically, Liz is going to break it all down for us in a way that is helpful. She lives in Portland, Maine with her wife, two happy kids, and a puppy.Resources: https://the20minuteguide.com/ http://www.drugfree.org/Good reading on the teen brain: Dan Siegel Brainstorm Francis Jensen The Teenage BrainLinks for young people: http://www.teen.drugabuse.gov/ *This is National Institute of Drug Abuse website for teenshttp://www.protectwhatsnext.com/ *This is a website out of Colorado for young people specifically about marijuana useWhere to find Liz:Birchlanestrategies.com (under-construction) Linked in Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we are going wayyyyy back to revisit Episode 21, my conversation with Jessica Lahey about what it means to be an “autonomy supportive” parents.This was such a powerful revisit for me, four years later, as my kids settle into the teen years and all the challenges and celebrations they get to navigate. I would love to take away the pain and confusion that comes with this time – AND I know that my kids will have their deepest learning through experience…Such a great conversation!Jessica Lahey is smart and funny and real when it comes to talking straight up about how we rob our kids of their future when we protect the from failure... It doesn't matter if they are in the sandbox or a high school classroom, our kids only learn the tools for relationship, empathy and resiliency when we (parents) allow them the gift of discomfort, making mistakes and yes, failure.Listen in to this candid conversation and consider where you could pull back a bit, where you could allow your kids a little bit more room to learn from their missteps, to own when they've hurt someone, to problem solve it when they've left their homework or lunch at home (again!)...We all love our kids, we want them to grow into the fullest, best versions of themselves, sometimes that requires us to back off and let them figure some things out... You may be surprised by just how capable they are!Mentions:The book: The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey The article in the Atlantic that started it all: Why Parents Need to Let Their Children Fail Why Back to School Night Made Me Feel Like a Bad Mom Glennon Doyle Melton on momastry.com  How to Raise and Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we are going to revisit Episode 138, my conversation with Genevieve Simperingham about what peaceful parenting during the teen years looks like.Genevieve Simperingham is a counsellor, an AWARE parenting educator, a writer, a group facilitator, meditation teacher and founder of the Peaceful Parent Institute in New Zealand. Over the last 24 years, Genevieve has presented hundreds of workshops and courses. She has parented her own kids using attachment principles and she seeks to empower parents with the tools that result in increased harmony, trust and cooperation in the family unit. We are discussing peaceful parenting our teenagers. Join us!“It’s about bringing into your parenting not just how you should respond in this situation or in that situation and our different approaches and techniques (which are really, really important) but it’s all about who we are as a person and who our child is as a person and the dynamic and the energy between us.”“We shouldn’t be in fighter stance simply because we have teenagers.”What you’ll hear in this episode:  What is peaceful parenting and how it is different than some of the more mainstream behaviorist parenting approaches. The Centre, Connect, Communicate approach Stress management, self care and healing trauma and how they relate to parenting The need for authenticity in empathy and curiosity The biggest hang-ups for parents around peaceful parenting teenagers Having tough conversations with your teens without shorting out the connection at the outset Setting and holding limits within the peaceful parenting framework Sex, drugs and alcohol use in teens - is it better to allow at home or to restrict? Reducing power struggles and rebellion Educating and empowering teens to make their own choices Reconnecting to move past conflict What does Joyful Courage mean to you?Joyful courage to me, it connects me with that last bit that we were just talking about, to me it’s about joy we feel in the heart and it takes a lot of courage to reconnect. So to me it’s about opening the heart and allowing the joy, the enjoyment of the relationship, of the connection to come back in and that takes courage. It takes courage to be vulnerable again. It’s easier to be hard and defensive and stern and it takes courage to open the heart come back to the joy of that beautiful connection again.Resources:Aware parentingWhere to find Genevieve:The way of the Peaceful Parent Facebook Group Facebook Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s show is a revisit of Episode 57, my conversation with Sharon Ballantine.With 3 children to parent, Sharon turned to books for help with parenting, but she never had the time to read and process the information in the books. So, with no other options available to her, she decided to rely on her own intuition and her own Internal Guidance System for parenting. She began using this technique and the law of attraction to manifest exactly what she wanted as a parent. In this episode, Sharon shares exactly how she made it all happen! Sharon Ballantine is a Parenting and Life Coach and Founder of the Ballantine Parenting Institute. Her book, The Art of Blissful Parenting, guides parents with practical as well as spiritual advice in raising their children. It also guides parents on how to get into alignment, discover and use their own IGS before they can teach their children.In this episode Sharon also discusses: How to find answers within yourself You have an internal guidance system that begins with your feelings Why leaving the room can help you get “in alignment” to parent Physical movement can be a tool to help bring you into a centered place of alignment Changing the subject that is causing stress and bad energy can cause a shift in energy The teenage years are the years of “personal discovery” Parents spend the teen years in fear mode and resort to using control Whoever a teenager is today is not their final destination. Be patient; they will change. Why we want to avoid making our children feel bad at all costs Staying centered will give you the coping skills to deal with any kind of crazy you have to deal with “This too shall pass” - it is true especially for teens Ways to deal with teen behavior that is harmful Focusing on the future and consequences of actions can allow a teen to take responsibility and look at the big picture How to support your child’s development of their Internal Guidance System Ways her failures as a parent contributed to finding her Internal Guidance System What joyful courage means to her and how it contributes to bliss Resources Mentioned on the Show: The Secret - Rhonda ByrneThe Art of Blissful Parenting - Sharon BallantineConnect with Sharon:Website - sharonballantine.com Facebook/sharonballantineTwitter/LifeCoachSB Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Shelley Francis. Shelly is an audiologist specializing in auditory processing disorder, and has been working with children for over 25 years. Over the years she has noticed a trend where more and more children are being seen as extra sensitive, not only with their physical senses but with their inner senses as well. By using her own sensitivities, she looks past a child's diagnosis and connects with their heart.Today Shelly remains motivated by both her passion to help children and her unique perspective in childhood development, which she has described in her book, No Child Left Unwrapped: Understanding and Honoring the Gifts Every Child is Born With. It's her hope that her book and her teachings will help create the needed paradigm shifts within our education system and within our society that will better support our beautiful sensory sensitive children of today. Join us! “Often we pigeonhole these children thinking that they need to be a certain way to be successful and then they can't be successful because that's not their nature. ” “There's so much more information out there to receive than just information through our five senses.” “Everybody needs to know that they're awesome.” “These children then just feel like there's, there's so much wrong with them, but they're never really getting what's right with them, what's good with them, what's awesome about them.” “Often the problem we see is a solution to a problem that we don't know about” “We are always looking at the external for the answer. What if the answer is someplace else?” “Nobody can deny the fact that we need more people that are empathic or empathetic and compassionate. And that's what we're getting.” “Let's help our kids when they're young or as early as possible so they don't have to go through as much of these challenges that we've had to go through, that other sensitive people have had to go through in the past.” “Entangled trauma for a sensitive soul is a recipe for disaster.” What you’ll hear in this episode: The difference between differences and disorder The need to recognize and honor differences Sensory differences - what are they and how do you recognize them? Sensory information, behavior and how they intersect The challenges of living heart wide open for kids who haven’t learned how to release the energy of others Baby steps for supporting sensitive kids The role of meditation as a tool Resilience: what it means and how we develop it Trauma, sensitivity and visualization to create filters for energy   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices